Author's Note: Compy worketh...methinks.
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Alstroemeria
By Silver Miko
I think if asked, many people would say I'm loud and brash and can be cocky and temperamental...
I suppose no one would accuse me of too much patience. Perhaps...I guess I was pretty...irrational in my youth. I'll be nineteen in a few months...it's funny how time goes by. In this time since the Shishio incident, some would have hoped I would... give up on the idea of being Okashira, give up the Oniwabanshuu lifestyle, give up Aoshi-sama...
This is the one time where I willingly and gladly disappointed. I realize many think they believe they have the best intentions for me, but I stand firm when I say that this is the life I chose, the way I chose. This is the life that best suits me and makes me happy.
I don't think anyone can fake being this damn genki all the time.
I know Okina feels in a sense, as do the others, that I am wasting away waiting on a man who shows no sign or any inclination that my feelings are returned. I know they want me to move on, to go on with my life...
That is not my choice.
The past two years have been a learning experience really. Aoshi-sama was always the person who me best, and vice versa. This still rang true, and yet we were complete strangers when it came down to it. Aoshi was not the same person, he was a broken man...searching to fill the void in his soul. I was no longer the child he had taken in, we were...different.
I realized it one day on the way to bring him tea, and so I began asking him questions. Little things, then more in depth questions about the years we were apart. He answered simply, and then one day began asking me questions.
About growing up...the life he missed.
It was a time to get reacquainted, and I realized that wanted Aoshi-sama to express his feelings about me in those days was something that couldn't be done right away. I realized we needed the time to readjust. To get to know each other again.
I remember the day I told Aoshi-sama that I loved him. Everyone knew, it was an unspoken truth...but I had finally voiced it to his face. I told him I loved him, not as the childish infatuation of the past, not as one who loves the person he was, that I love him for the man he is, as a woman loves a man.
I will never stop loving Aoshi-sama. I know this. For me there will never be another who captivates me and touches my heart as deeply as the silent man who has been the center of my universe my entire life. I could never move on and be with another, that would be settling. I feel I was born to meet and be by Aoshi-sama's side.
As he took me in, took care of me...it's my turn to return the favor.
He is finally putting the broken pieces of his soul back together like a fragile puzzle, less frequently he visits the temple. He seems rather comfortable working in the Aoiya. The time spent making rice cakes and tempura together are enjoyed.
I am still Okashira, but I had decided I wanted to learn everything I would need to know. All the good, the bad, everything. I asked Aoshi-sama to teach me. He faltered at first, he always felt after the Kanryuu incident that he wasn't as good of a leader as he should have been. I merely smiled and said that Aoshi-sama was the best Okashira surely...for he had seen the darkness in himself and conquered over it.
He was healing, and I was by his side holding his hand along the dark path he returned from. I will always be by his side.
I don't think people can see it, or understand it...but I know Aoshi-sama better than anyone...
His eyes soften more around me, he smiled...smiles for me...
I used to worry I was a bother, one day I neglected to bring tea to him. I thought he wouldn't notice, but he had. He had asked me about it. That made me smile.
I wasn't a bother. He cherished our time together. I know that Aoshi-sama will return my feelings...one day when he's ready...
I can wait. I could always wait for Aoshi-sama.
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Alstroemeria are very pretty flowers flowers that usually have 3-5 petals a flower and come in nice, bright colors. Their meaning, one anyway, is devotion and in China they symbolize fidelity.