Strange Relations
By Nodakskip@aol.com
Beta by Theo
Based on a challenge and the very bad spoilers from episode 5.12 of Angel.
Don't read if you don't want possible spoilers for that episode.
_________________________________________
Los Angeles, CA.
February, 2004
The Fang Gang were all together, a rare event these days outside of the boardroom. But they still gathered around a table, one at a sidewalk café around 10:30 pm that evening. "I still can't believe it's true," Fred said, as she pushed her head up from off the table.
"Yes, quite," Wesley said morosely, as he studied his half-empty beer bottle in his hands. "Once again, the forces of Fate have decided to take a very large book and bash us over the head with it, as it were."
"English?" Gunn asked, using the nickname he had not used in a long time. "You think someone up there has this big hate-on for us, or something?"
"A typewriter," Fred blurted out suddenly, causing them all to look at her. "Haven't you guys ever heard that quote before?"
"What quote, sweetie?" the disguised Lorne asked her.
"I don't know who said it, but one person asks another if God is sitting somewhere in Heaven, typing away the story of our lives on a typewriter," the former Texan told them. "And then the second guy tells him that God must be one sick sadistic bastard, if he is."
"What I can't get out of my mind is the first time I ever saw her," Wesley said, before he took another drink from his bottle. "I had just arrived as Buffy's new Watcher, you see; and no one was even bothering to listen to me. But then, this absolutely stunning young woman came into the library. I, of course, was instantly smitten by her charm and saw she had the most amazing smile..."
"Smitten, were you?" Spike half-joked with a leer, before Angel gave him a glare that easily told him to shut up.
"For the briefest of moments, I was in Heaven," Wesley continued with a sigh. "The young woman seemed to be hitting on me, despite our differences in age. But then later on, I saw it."
"Saw what?" Fred asked, getting into a story of the past she had yet to hear.
"She kept sending these quick, insubstantial looks towards this boy her own age, who was also in the room. And she instantly got a unbecomingly cruel smile on her face, whenever he looked at me with jealousy..." Wesley then turned somber. "Eventually, I read Mr. Giles' diaries and learned of the sordid past between the two. And I should have known that the man a woman dates after a breakup, is seldom there for very long."
"Rebound Guy?" Gunn asked in commiseration. "Been there, man." "Well, I made an effort to be more than that, and for a little while we seemed to work. But then after her graduation I thought I would never see her again." His grip tightened on the bottle. "However as luck would have it, I did meet her again. Although, it was painfully obvious she had forgotten our attempts at starting a relationship. I watched her grow from a teenage girl to a wonderful young woman, and now she's gone." A snap of his fingers. "Just like that." "Oh, bugger this," Spike said as he stood up, flicking his cigarette away.
"Spike," Angel said in an even tone that grated on the younger vampire.
"Oh, give it a rest!" the British vamp told them all. "Yeah, she was one fine bird, it's bleeding sad and all that. But now she's gone. Humans die. It happens!" He pointed around the street. "There are dozens of girls just like her, that could use saving. We can't dwell on it for too long; she did her bit for queen and country, so just remember the good times and let the rest of it go-"
The vampire then left the group to wallow in their drinks, but as he turned the corner Spike stopped dead in his tracks. "Well, *blimey*. If this doesn't beat all..."
The thing that had made him stop, was a woman standing less than two feet away. A tall, dark-haired woman. When she turned to see who had spoken, the look on her face was not what Spike expected.
It wasn't fear or surprise, no; it was hate.
"Spike!?" the femme said with instant venom, before her right foot lashed out in a high roundhouse kick.
Before the English vampire could move a second leg shot out, sweeping his legs out from under him. Somehow the woman had gotten a wooden stake out, and Spike just managed to grab her wrist before she could plunge it into his heart. "Hey! Calm down, woman!" Spike yelled to her.
"Oh, I will when you're dust..." was the cold reply.
The momentary conversation was enough for the brunette to lose the element of surprise. Spike shoved her off of him. She staggered a few feet and was going to charge again, but was grabbed from behind. "No, don't!" a new female voice told her. "He's a good guy-"
"Let me go, damn it!"
The voice froze Fred, as she held the woman; Angel and the others stopped as well. Ms. Burkle spun the woman around to see her face, "Cordelia!?"
"Who the hell are yo-" was all she got out, before Fred caught her in a crushing hug.
"Oh God, Cordelia! We thought you were dead!" the older woman almost started to cry.
Cordelia Chase quickly shoved the freaky chick off of her. She started to back up, trying to keep Spike and the new group both in sight. "Okay, who the hell are you tweakos!?"
Angel stepped forward. "Cordelia! It's us. They told me you were dead, so how did-"
"Listen, buster, I don't know who-" she started before recognition set in. "Angel?!"
Relief flooded the ensouled vampire. "Yes, Cordy, it's me! Come on, let's get you back to the-"
"Don't you come near me yet, damn it!" Cordelia yelled, as she jumped out of his reach. "So. You and Spike here, together!?" she said accusingly. "Have you gone evil again?"
"What?" Angel asked, completely not knowing what was going on. "No, I'm not evil..."
"So you and Buffy definitely haven't done the mattress mambo lately?" Ms. Chase asked, wanting to be sure.
"Cordelia," Wesley said, as he moved into the light.
"Wesley?" the woman said, shocked. "Why aren't you back in England? Last I recall, you couldn't wait to get out of this country!" An idea struck her and she pointed to Fred. "Oh! Is she your new Slayer?"
"Slayer? Me?" Fred asked, just as confused as the rest.
Cordelia mumbled something to herself. "Then that would mean Faith died in the coma. Hell, I suppose there could have been a few Slayers over the past few years..."
Wesley held up his hands to show he had no weapons, as he moved forward "Please. Just tell us, what's the last thing you remember?"
"What the hell kind of question is that!?" Cordelia asked, fuming. She was going to use several colorful swear words, when she was knocked out by a quick blow to the back of the head.
"Spike!" Angel yelled, furious.
"Well, you heard her! The bint's obviously out of her bleeding mind, mate!" Spike said as he quickly backed up.
Wesley bent down to check the young woman. "She doesn't have any bruises, Angel. Let's get her back to the office before she wakes up."
Angel picked her up in his arms. "I'll deal with you later," he growled back at his grandchilde.
"Careful, Peaches, you're going to get me all scared now," Spike said sarcastically.
"Angel?" Fred asked, as he put Cordelia in the back seat of his convertible. "What's going on? She sounded like she didn't even know us."
"I know, Fred, but don't worry. We *will* get to the bottom of this."
***
She awoke slowly. "What the hell hit me?" Cordelia Chase asked, still groggy.
"I did, luv."
The voice caused her to snap her head up, to look at the man across the table in anger. "Spike!?" "Yeah, that would be me, ducks," the blond vampire responded with a chortle and dip of his head.
Cordelia looked to the leather straps holding down her arms and feet to the chair. "Sorry to disappoint, asshole, but I am not going to help you out in one of your demented S&M games. If that's what you want, isn't that psycho bitch of yours still around howling at the moon somewhere?"
"Cordelia, what's wrong with you?"
The brunette looked to the woman across the table where they were all sitting at. "What's wrong with me?!" she demanded, as if it was the dumbest thing ever to ask. "Gee, let's see. First I come face to face with a vampire that I HATE, then all of you show up acting like you know me. Which is funny not, as you DON'T KNOW ME!"
Cordy then looked to Wesley and Angel. "Assuming that you two aren't currently on the dark side of the Force, mind telling me what this-" she yanked on her bonds, "is all about?!"
Angel just spoke evenly and softly. "Let's just start with what you can remember. What were you doing, before you ended up on the street corner?"
"As if that's any of your business! Now let me go. Or somehow, I'll dust your ass!"
"Cordelia, please," Wesley said. "I promise nothing bad's going to happen. We just want to figure this out."
"Oh, fine!" the bound woman hissed after a moment. "I was checking on a nearby apartment."
"You were going to move to that neighborhood?" Gunn asked. "Cordy, I know your old place is-"
"Listen up, mister!" she angrily interrupted him. "Not a lot of people know me well enough to call me Cordy. And since you are one of the thugs that helped kidnap me, can you guess if you're one of them?"
"Why were you looking at the apartment?" Angel asked, trying to figure this out.
Rolling her eyes, Cordelia told him, "Because it was the last known address for Amy."
"Amy who?" "Amy Madison!" she told him, like she was talking to a three-year-old. "You remember, the girl from high school who got turned into a rat back in 99?"
"Oh yes, I vaguely remember reading about that," Wesley said. "Ms. Rosenberg said she was able to lift that spell a few years ago, if I recall correctly."
Cordelia looked at him, suddenly interested. "You've talked to Willow? You know where she is? Where she lives?"
"You want to find the redhead witch?" Gunn asked her.
She shot him a nasty look before replying, "Yes, if she made it out then maybe so did others."
"Made it out of where?" Fred asked.
"Well, let's see," Cordelia said, getting even more sarcastic. "Maybe out of a Garth Brooks concert? No, maybe, just maybe...I mean my old hometown! You know, before it made its great impersonation of the Grand Canyon!?"
"Buffy's group all made it out okay," Angel told her. "From what I heard, they drove out on a school bus just ahead of the collapse."
"Xander? Giles?" came the quick questions.
"They all made it out, including those two," Angel told her and was surprised at the great relief that was shown on her face.
"Oh man, after all these months of not knowing. Thank God they're okay..." Cordelia breathed a sigh of relief. "Now, if you could just tell me-"
"Ah, if I may ask - why do you seem so interested in just those two?" Wesley asked her.
"Well, duh!" Cordelia said. "They were the only two people left in that hellhole that I still gave a damn about, after I moved away!"
"Really?" Fred asked, completely confused. "But, but you always told me that that Xander guy was a part of your past you wanted to forget ever happened..."
"Okay, twig, let's get one thing straight right now. And I want you all to understand this, okay?" Cordelia told everyone. "With the exception of Angel, Wes and...Spike, I have never met any of you before in my entire life!" She ignored the shocked looks on their faces. "Now, will you please let me go?"
The former Angel Investigations coworkers continued to look at each other in shock. All of them wondered what the hell had happened to their friend, who they had supposedly just talked to as she woke out of her coma a few days ago. If it was amnesia, it was the strangest damn case they'd ever heard about...
But any further questioning was stopped in its tracks, as a short man in a dark suit came into the room. "Excuse me, Mr. Angel? I think you should look at this. It just came in from our New York office."
Angel took the folder. "Thank you, Richards." The young man nodded, before he calmly left the room.
"Oh, sure!" Cordelia called to the closed door. "Pay no attention to the woman tied up in the chair, why don't you!"
"No, no, this-this can't be right!" Angel said to himself, as he read the report.
"What is it?" Wesley asked him, afraid at what was going to be said next.
"Cordelia Chase," Angel read off the top sheet. "Just graduated suma cum laude from Columbia University in New York, with a major in journalism and a minor in business management." "What?!" Fred asked, feeling like the room was spinning. "But that's impossible!"
"Is my credit history in there as well, Angel?" Cordelia asked with disdain, ignoring that. "You know, *normal* people - when they see an old friend, they say hi, and maybe go out to have a drink or something. But then, I shoulda known *vampires* get their rocks off by kidnapping you!"
Angel skimmed the next few sheets, ignoring the stabbing pain in his heart - as the woman he loved shot her venomous remarks at him. "You flew into LA yesterday...from Las Vegas?"
"I was at a convention," Cordy said through gritted teeth. "My boss went back home to the city, while I came here. I thought since I was in this part of the country anyway, why not."
"No," the vampire said. "This says you were in Vegas for the past week."
"Yeah? Why is that such a shocker?"
"Because you just woke up from your coma. Well, sort of, the other day," Fred told her.
"Coma?!" Cordy just sighed and leaned into her chair. "Look, if it will get me untied any quicker, just tell me why you strangers think you know me..."
***
90 minutes later...
"So, let me make sure I understand this," Cordelia said slowly. "You all think I moved here wanting to be an actress, but sucked at it from day one. Then some vamp tried to eat me, I get saved by Angel and some guy that's half-demon..."
"His name was Doyle," Angel filled in the blank.
"Okay, I meet Doyle," the New York brunette continued. "He's a nice drunken Irishman who has a huge crush on me, but he dies shutting off an evil high- powered flashlight. I become your secretary, then since this Doyle guy kissed me I become a Vision Girl. Years of pain later, I get sucked into some hell dimension, and meet you," she said, pointing to Fred.
Cordelia then said slowly, "While there I first become a slave, then a princess, then we all come back to LA. Later, I have an affair with a Baywatch reject who followed me from Pile-on, or wherever. Then the best part; I go up to Heaven...but not."
She took a breath before she continued on. "After all that I come back, go evil, have some part-god/part-demon baby while no one knows who the father is...and then I wind up in a coma. A coma, mind you, that I just woke up from, but really didn't; and then I kicked the bucket?"
Ms. Chase looked over the assembled group in incredulity. "Is that right?"
"Ah, pretty much, yeah," Angel told her uncomfortably.
"Well, then...can you also tell me, what the hell you people have been smoking all these years?! Angel, I have *not* been back to California in over four years. I left after the suck-fest that was Graduation!!" she told the vampire.
The young man came back in. "Um, Mr. Angel? There's something else we found."
"I'm afraid to ask, but what?"
"Well, sir..." He looked to Cordelia. "I don't know how, but it seems that in our own Files and Records department, we do indeed now have two sets of records for Chase, Cordelia. One from LA; and the other has her living in New York. Now working as a columnist for Vogue magazine, under the pseudonym of Brittany Turner."
"That has to be wrong!" Wesley said at once from his seat. "When we took over this branch of the firm, I did a complete records search for anything and everything related to us, and no such records existed! Certainly nothing like that!"
"I don't know what to say, sir," Richards told his boss with a shrug. "There is now. I conferred with the records office in the New York branch, and they also have corresponding files appearing in their own department. One second nothing, then poof! They're there."
"Keep looking," Angel told him firmly. "I want answers. And I want them now!"
"Yes, sir!" the man gulped as he quickly left the room.
"Ah, now please! Don't get too wound up at the hired help, Stink Guy..."
Everyone turned to the windows, at the sound of the voice. A man dressed in an outfit that looked like it had been slept in was leaning against the wall.
"Whistler!" Angel exclaimed. "Never thought I'd say it again, but glad you're here. Now, can you make any sense outta this!?" he asked, as he slid over the folder to the end of the table.
The balance demon just watched as the folder kept going and slid off the table, making no effort to stop it before its contents scattered onto the floor. "Yeah, I can tell you exactly what's happened, rat breath..." "Rat breath?" Fred asked in a whisper to Wes, who just shrugged.
"Oy, what kind of demon are you?!" Spike demanded, as he stood up and switched to his game face.
"I'm here as a messenger from the Powers That Be, junior. So do you really think a *vampire* is going to scare me? Your grandpa here couldn't do it back in the day, your odds suck!"
"You wanna find out how scary I can be, mate?" Spike asked dangerously, as he got closer.
"Listen up, blood breath," Whistler told him with an edge to his voice. "I don't have time for your crap, this is going to be hard enough as it is, so..."
The demon with the Queens accent waved his hand, and Spike suddenly found himself back in his chair. And no matter how much he struggled, he couldn't move. William the Bloody then started to swear at the demon, but oddly enough no sound came out of his mouth either.
Whistler then promptly ignored him, as he moved to Cordelia. "Now, Ms. Chase, when I remove your straps I gotta ask you to please stay seated." When Cordelia cast him a dirty look, he shrugged. "Hey, I want to get this cleared up as soon as possible, same as you. Trust me!"
"Fine, I'll play the good little girl. Just for a few minutes, then I'm outta here!" Cordelia swore, rubbing her wrists.
"Okay, so here's the deal." Whistler pointed to Cordy. "This is the *real* Cordelia Chase. And she's been living in New York, ever since she left Sunnydale."
"Thank you!" Cordelia released a large smile, at finally having met *someone* sane.
"But she was with us for all those years. A real, living person. So how-?" Angel asked the demon.
"Yes she was, but you see - that was just a copy of her," the balance demon told them all simply.
"A copy!?" Wesley asked in shock. "As in a clone?"
"This is totally and completely messed up," was all Gunn could think to say.
"There really was another me!? Someone who went through everything what these clowns here told me?!" Cordelia yelled, upset.
'Whoa, whoa people! Let me explain."
"You'd better," Cordelia said, crossing her arms in a huff. "And I swear, it had better be *damn* good."
"Well, Ms. Chase, as you were no doubt recently told; all these people here were manipulated over the past few years, to let that Jasmine bitch come into this world," Whistler told her.
"Yeah, but what does that have to do with *me*?" she asked, still pissed.
"Jasmine was looking for the right people, to help facilitate bringing her into this reality. So naturally, she looked in on the Slayer."
"Buffy," Angel commented at once.
"You got it, Angel," Whistler said before he continued, "She saw the big fight with Angelus, and the thing with Acathla. She saw two people that interested her. You, and Cordelia here." "Me?" Cordelia asked, surprised. "But I wasn't some big bad vampire killer!"
"True," the demon told her. "But do you remember what you told that guy Xander Harris, when you found him at that hospital back then?"
The woman frowned, shaking her head. "I just remember being so relieved that he was okay. Granted he had a broken arm and all, but he was alive. Which is more than you could say for Kendra. But do I remember what I said to him...nope, sorry."
"Don't worry, I saw the replay already," Whistler told her. "You were upset that your boyfriend stayed to fight, and you ran. You were depressed that everyone else slugged it out, while you hit the road; granted Harris ordered you to do it, and odds are you'd be dead today if you hadn't, but still...the point is from that time on, you wanted to better yourself."
"What are you talking about?"
"It's real simple, doll," Whistler said, as he looked her in eyes. "For the next few weeks while that Giles character searched for Buffy Summers, you helped Zeppo Boy out with patrols. And then when you came back from the summer trip, you kept patrolling with him and his little gang until Little Miss I-Can't-Deal-Anymore returned home and took over."
"Why don't you just spell it out for us," Angel ordered the demon, as Spike bristled at the denigration of his lady love.
"Long story short," Whistler said. "Good ol' Jasmine knew that our girl here was going to go to New York and her rich relatives, not LA; as she was told her acting sucked by practically everyone on the Hellmouth, who had seen her in that talent show during 1997. So as the real Cordy left the state, Cordy number two showed up in LA." "HEY!" Cordelia shouted in annoyance at the wisecracks.
"No! Damn it, NO!!!" Fred said, with tears in her eyes. "You're sitting there telling us that our time with our friend who we worked with, fought with, cried with, was not real!?"
"What?" Whistler asked. "Oh, hell no. She believed she was the real Cordelia Chase, and ain't no one can say different. And she followed Jasmine's plan, even though she didn't know any bit of it herself. She was real, soul and all, and her own person. Huh, and best guess is about 70 % of what went down in LA would have gone the same if the original model here," he pointed to Cordelia, "had been there."
He continued, "She lived, loved and died as Cordelia Chase. And she's up there at the moment in...well, it has way too many names, but she's upstairs nowadays and she is *not* taking the news very well that she was the dummy model Cordelia. But, eh, I think she'll be okay eventually."
"You think, or you know?" Cordelia demanded. She didn't like the idea of there being another her running around, for the last few years; but if it had been another version of Cordelia Chase, like say a long-lost twin, she couldn't help but feel for it...no, for her.
"Oh, babe, don't worry about *her*," Whistler said casually. "She has her own support group already. A lot of souls of the fallen from both your groups are helpin' her out. That Doyle guy, especially."
"This is just too much," Cordelia said softly to herself, shaking her head.
"Now that I explained it-" At Angel's look the demon added, "Okay, granted it's not what any of you wanted to hear, but it's the truth; and so, deal." He took out a sealed envelope and gave it to Cordelia. "Here."
"What's this?" the woman asked.
"It's Harris's contact info and a plane ticket," Whistler told her. "He's in Africa at the moment, training new Slayers."
Cordelia's eyes became huge. "Did you say Slayers? As in, more than one?"
"Twenty actually," the good guy demon told the opened-mouthed Cordelia. "And that's just in his camp. Angel-cakes here can fill you in on that bit. Well, bye." He waved once, and then in the time it took to blink, he was no longer there.
Cordy looked to Angel, shocked. "Twenty Slayers? Okay, what, did Dweeb Boy do mouth-to-mouth on Buffy, Faith and *all* of her successors?"
****
Several hours later.
Cordelia sat with Angel in his private office. He had told her so manystories of her doppelgänger, that the New Yorker had started to feel a certain kinship to the other her. "Boy, it's a shame I never came to town sooner. I would have loved to have met her...me. You know, after all the awkwardness and swearing was out of the way."
Cordelia then leaned forward from her spot on the couch. "You loved her, didn't you?"
Angel looked at her with a start. "What? I never said..."
"You didn't have to, dummy," she told him with a smirk. "I'm a woman, I can tell. It's just the way you talk about her."
"Yeah, I did," the vampire told her with a sigh. "Took me too long to realize it, though. Uh, I suppose you'd know if anyone would; but do you think she could have loved me? She said she did, but she was already possessed by then, so I can't be sure-"
Cordelia thought for a moment. "Yeah, I think she could have. If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that love can hit you right when you're not looking for it. You just have to look at my ex back in high school, to see that."
Angel tried to hide his feelings, but he wasn't having much luck. "I just miss her so much..." He looked to his companion. "I was just finding her, finding *us* and then she was taken from me. Used by an evil...damn it, she never had a chance."
"I can tell you one thing she had," Cordelia told him softly.
"What?" he asked.
"Friends," the brunette said softly, as a tear came down her cheek. "Angel, when I left Sunnydale, I thought I had only two friends left in the entire world. I was so alone when I first started college; I didn't see my cousins that much, if at all. But slowly, I made new friends and I remember how wonderful it felt to have people who cared for me. So, I know how wonderful it would have felt for her."
She caught a look the clock on the wall. "Damn, I have to get back to the hotel to pack, if I'm going to catch that flight," Cordy told him as she got up.
"If I can," Angel said slowly, "There is one last thing I want to ask you."
"Sure, anything." "Why are you so intent on finding Xander?" the vampire Champion asked, unable to help sounding a little more jealous than he'd intended.
"You mean, am I going to go running back to my old boyfriend? Planning to find some nice warm closet and make out like old times?" the 23-year-old woman asked with a small smile.
He just nodded.
"Well, no," she told the former Irishman, causing him no little relief. "Xander was my first love, Angel. Yeah, we ended very badly, but I wouldn't mind having him in my life again."
Cordy sighed, "I told him I wanted some time away from him, to heal, when I left Sunnydale. Which is probably why he never talked to the Cordelia you knew."
"But..." she continued. "Time just flew by, I was so busy with school and work that I kept putting off contacting him again. Then when I saw a huge hole in the ground on CNN one morning, I knew I just had to find him. It's been a long few months, but if it was the other way around, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't stop looking for me. Besides, there is something I need to ask him."
"What's that?" Angel wondered.
"If he'll come to my wedding," the real Cordelia Chase said gently, not wanting to upset her companion too much. "On account of we need more groomsmen."
"Wedding?" Angel asked with a yelp, shocked. "You're getting married?"
"Yeah, Kurt was the first friend I made at Columbia. We spent so much time studying together, that one night he asked me if we should just go out to dinner and get it over with. That was two and a half years ago. He proposed to me a few weeks ago on the beach."
"You're not wearing a ring," Angel observed, his heart feeling like it was breaking in two all over again.
"You did see the neighborhood that we were in, didn't you?" Cordelia asked him teasingly. "No way was I wearing a diamond out in the open like that!"
She turned for the door, but looked back. "Angel, I can't say that I know how you feel about all this. But I can tell you one thing; your Cordelia? She was just as real as you and me. Just remember what that Whistler guy told us; she's up there with your other friend Doyle, and they're looking down on you right now with nothing but pure love. Keep them in your heart, and I'm sure it'll all work out, somehow."
And with that, the one and only Cordelia Chase left the building, never to return.
THE END The challenge... "I think that if they're going to put Cordelia's identity in question and rewrite seasons, they should just go for broke. Cordelia was a plant all along. The real Cordelia never even went to LA, but jet set to the east coast after graduation where she met up with some still affluent relatives who paid her way through Columbia, where she made all the right connections and became a high muckety muck at Vogue. Then, on a very special episode of Angel, the real Cordelia power lunches in LA, only to run into Angel who has to deal with loving a person who shares none of his memories. And, then, ya know, Joss can kill ANOTHER Cordelia. The fun would never have to stop for him." - by samluvsharrison
By Nodakskip@aol.com
Beta by Theo
Based on a challenge and the very bad spoilers from episode 5.12 of Angel.
Don't read if you don't want possible spoilers for that episode.
_________________________________________
Los Angeles, CA.
February, 2004
The Fang Gang were all together, a rare event these days outside of the boardroom. But they still gathered around a table, one at a sidewalk café around 10:30 pm that evening. "I still can't believe it's true," Fred said, as she pushed her head up from off the table.
"Yes, quite," Wesley said morosely, as he studied his half-empty beer bottle in his hands. "Once again, the forces of Fate have decided to take a very large book and bash us over the head with it, as it were."
"English?" Gunn asked, using the nickname he had not used in a long time. "You think someone up there has this big hate-on for us, or something?"
"A typewriter," Fred blurted out suddenly, causing them all to look at her. "Haven't you guys ever heard that quote before?"
"What quote, sweetie?" the disguised Lorne asked her.
"I don't know who said it, but one person asks another if God is sitting somewhere in Heaven, typing away the story of our lives on a typewriter," the former Texan told them. "And then the second guy tells him that God must be one sick sadistic bastard, if he is."
"What I can't get out of my mind is the first time I ever saw her," Wesley said, before he took another drink from his bottle. "I had just arrived as Buffy's new Watcher, you see; and no one was even bothering to listen to me. But then, this absolutely stunning young woman came into the library. I, of course, was instantly smitten by her charm and saw she had the most amazing smile..."
"Smitten, were you?" Spike half-joked with a leer, before Angel gave him a glare that easily told him to shut up.
"For the briefest of moments, I was in Heaven," Wesley continued with a sigh. "The young woman seemed to be hitting on me, despite our differences in age. But then later on, I saw it."
"Saw what?" Fred asked, getting into a story of the past she had yet to hear.
"She kept sending these quick, insubstantial looks towards this boy her own age, who was also in the room. And she instantly got a unbecomingly cruel smile on her face, whenever he looked at me with jealousy..." Wesley then turned somber. "Eventually, I read Mr. Giles' diaries and learned of the sordid past between the two. And I should have known that the man a woman dates after a breakup, is seldom there for very long."
"Rebound Guy?" Gunn asked in commiseration. "Been there, man." "Well, I made an effort to be more than that, and for a little while we seemed to work. But then after her graduation I thought I would never see her again." His grip tightened on the bottle. "However as luck would have it, I did meet her again. Although, it was painfully obvious she had forgotten our attempts at starting a relationship. I watched her grow from a teenage girl to a wonderful young woman, and now she's gone." A snap of his fingers. "Just like that." "Oh, bugger this," Spike said as he stood up, flicking his cigarette away.
"Spike," Angel said in an even tone that grated on the younger vampire.
"Oh, give it a rest!" the British vamp told them all. "Yeah, she was one fine bird, it's bleeding sad and all that. But now she's gone. Humans die. It happens!" He pointed around the street. "There are dozens of girls just like her, that could use saving. We can't dwell on it for too long; she did her bit for queen and country, so just remember the good times and let the rest of it go-"
The vampire then left the group to wallow in their drinks, but as he turned the corner Spike stopped dead in his tracks. "Well, *blimey*. If this doesn't beat all..."
The thing that had made him stop, was a woman standing less than two feet away. A tall, dark-haired woman. When she turned to see who had spoken, the look on her face was not what Spike expected.
It wasn't fear or surprise, no; it was hate.
"Spike!?" the femme said with instant venom, before her right foot lashed out in a high roundhouse kick.
Before the English vampire could move a second leg shot out, sweeping his legs out from under him. Somehow the woman had gotten a wooden stake out, and Spike just managed to grab her wrist before she could plunge it into his heart. "Hey! Calm down, woman!" Spike yelled to her.
"Oh, I will when you're dust..." was the cold reply.
The momentary conversation was enough for the brunette to lose the element of surprise. Spike shoved her off of him. She staggered a few feet and was going to charge again, but was grabbed from behind. "No, don't!" a new female voice told her. "He's a good guy-"
"Let me go, damn it!"
The voice froze Fred, as she held the woman; Angel and the others stopped as well. Ms. Burkle spun the woman around to see her face, "Cordelia!?"
"Who the hell are yo-" was all she got out, before Fred caught her in a crushing hug.
"Oh God, Cordelia! We thought you were dead!" the older woman almost started to cry.
Cordelia Chase quickly shoved the freaky chick off of her. She started to back up, trying to keep Spike and the new group both in sight. "Okay, who the hell are you tweakos!?"
Angel stepped forward. "Cordelia! It's us. They told me you were dead, so how did-"
"Listen, buster, I don't know who-" she started before recognition set in. "Angel?!"
Relief flooded the ensouled vampire. "Yes, Cordy, it's me! Come on, let's get you back to the-"
"Don't you come near me yet, damn it!" Cordelia yelled, as she jumped out of his reach. "So. You and Spike here, together!?" she said accusingly. "Have you gone evil again?"
"What?" Angel asked, completely not knowing what was going on. "No, I'm not evil..."
"So you and Buffy definitely haven't done the mattress mambo lately?" Ms. Chase asked, wanting to be sure.
"Cordelia," Wesley said, as he moved into the light.
"Wesley?" the woman said, shocked. "Why aren't you back in England? Last I recall, you couldn't wait to get out of this country!" An idea struck her and she pointed to Fred. "Oh! Is she your new Slayer?"
"Slayer? Me?" Fred asked, just as confused as the rest.
Cordelia mumbled something to herself. "Then that would mean Faith died in the coma. Hell, I suppose there could have been a few Slayers over the past few years..."
Wesley held up his hands to show he had no weapons, as he moved forward "Please. Just tell us, what's the last thing you remember?"
"What the hell kind of question is that!?" Cordelia asked, fuming. She was going to use several colorful swear words, when she was knocked out by a quick blow to the back of the head.
"Spike!" Angel yelled, furious.
"Well, you heard her! The bint's obviously out of her bleeding mind, mate!" Spike said as he quickly backed up.
Wesley bent down to check the young woman. "She doesn't have any bruises, Angel. Let's get her back to the office before she wakes up."
Angel picked her up in his arms. "I'll deal with you later," he growled back at his grandchilde.
"Careful, Peaches, you're going to get me all scared now," Spike said sarcastically.
"Angel?" Fred asked, as he put Cordelia in the back seat of his convertible. "What's going on? She sounded like she didn't even know us."
"I know, Fred, but don't worry. We *will* get to the bottom of this."
***
She awoke slowly. "What the hell hit me?" Cordelia Chase asked, still groggy.
"I did, luv."
The voice caused her to snap her head up, to look at the man across the table in anger. "Spike!?" "Yeah, that would be me, ducks," the blond vampire responded with a chortle and dip of his head.
Cordelia looked to the leather straps holding down her arms and feet to the chair. "Sorry to disappoint, asshole, but I am not going to help you out in one of your demented S&M games. If that's what you want, isn't that psycho bitch of yours still around howling at the moon somewhere?"
"Cordelia, what's wrong with you?"
The brunette looked to the woman across the table where they were all sitting at. "What's wrong with me?!" she demanded, as if it was the dumbest thing ever to ask. "Gee, let's see. First I come face to face with a vampire that I HATE, then all of you show up acting like you know me. Which is funny not, as you DON'T KNOW ME!"
Cordy then looked to Wesley and Angel. "Assuming that you two aren't currently on the dark side of the Force, mind telling me what this-" she yanked on her bonds, "is all about?!"
Angel just spoke evenly and softly. "Let's just start with what you can remember. What were you doing, before you ended up on the street corner?"
"As if that's any of your business! Now let me go. Or somehow, I'll dust your ass!"
"Cordelia, please," Wesley said. "I promise nothing bad's going to happen. We just want to figure this out."
"Oh, fine!" the bound woman hissed after a moment. "I was checking on a nearby apartment."
"You were going to move to that neighborhood?" Gunn asked. "Cordy, I know your old place is-"
"Listen up, mister!" she angrily interrupted him. "Not a lot of people know me well enough to call me Cordy. And since you are one of the thugs that helped kidnap me, can you guess if you're one of them?"
"Why were you looking at the apartment?" Angel asked, trying to figure this out.
Rolling her eyes, Cordelia told him, "Because it was the last known address for Amy."
"Amy who?" "Amy Madison!" she told him, like she was talking to a three-year-old. "You remember, the girl from high school who got turned into a rat back in 99?"
"Oh yes, I vaguely remember reading about that," Wesley said. "Ms. Rosenberg said she was able to lift that spell a few years ago, if I recall correctly."
Cordelia looked at him, suddenly interested. "You've talked to Willow? You know where she is? Where she lives?"
"You want to find the redhead witch?" Gunn asked her.
She shot him a nasty look before replying, "Yes, if she made it out then maybe so did others."
"Made it out of where?" Fred asked.
"Well, let's see," Cordelia said, getting even more sarcastic. "Maybe out of a Garth Brooks concert? No, maybe, just maybe...I mean my old hometown! You know, before it made its great impersonation of the Grand Canyon!?"
"Buffy's group all made it out okay," Angel told her. "From what I heard, they drove out on a school bus just ahead of the collapse."
"Xander? Giles?" came the quick questions.
"They all made it out, including those two," Angel told her and was surprised at the great relief that was shown on her face.
"Oh man, after all these months of not knowing. Thank God they're okay..." Cordelia breathed a sigh of relief. "Now, if you could just tell me-"
"Ah, if I may ask - why do you seem so interested in just those two?" Wesley asked her.
"Well, duh!" Cordelia said. "They were the only two people left in that hellhole that I still gave a damn about, after I moved away!"
"Really?" Fred asked, completely confused. "But, but you always told me that that Xander guy was a part of your past you wanted to forget ever happened..."
"Okay, twig, let's get one thing straight right now. And I want you all to understand this, okay?" Cordelia told everyone. "With the exception of Angel, Wes and...Spike, I have never met any of you before in my entire life!" She ignored the shocked looks on their faces. "Now, will you please let me go?"
The former Angel Investigations coworkers continued to look at each other in shock. All of them wondered what the hell had happened to their friend, who they had supposedly just talked to as she woke out of her coma a few days ago. If it was amnesia, it was the strangest damn case they'd ever heard about...
But any further questioning was stopped in its tracks, as a short man in a dark suit came into the room. "Excuse me, Mr. Angel? I think you should look at this. It just came in from our New York office."
Angel took the folder. "Thank you, Richards." The young man nodded, before he calmly left the room.
"Oh, sure!" Cordelia called to the closed door. "Pay no attention to the woman tied up in the chair, why don't you!"
"No, no, this-this can't be right!" Angel said to himself, as he read the report.
"What is it?" Wesley asked him, afraid at what was going to be said next.
"Cordelia Chase," Angel read off the top sheet. "Just graduated suma cum laude from Columbia University in New York, with a major in journalism and a minor in business management." "What?!" Fred asked, feeling like the room was spinning. "But that's impossible!"
"Is my credit history in there as well, Angel?" Cordelia asked with disdain, ignoring that. "You know, *normal* people - when they see an old friend, they say hi, and maybe go out to have a drink or something. But then, I shoulda known *vampires* get their rocks off by kidnapping you!"
Angel skimmed the next few sheets, ignoring the stabbing pain in his heart - as the woman he loved shot her venomous remarks at him. "You flew into LA yesterday...from Las Vegas?"
"I was at a convention," Cordy said through gritted teeth. "My boss went back home to the city, while I came here. I thought since I was in this part of the country anyway, why not."
"No," the vampire said. "This says you were in Vegas for the past week."
"Yeah? Why is that such a shocker?"
"Because you just woke up from your coma. Well, sort of, the other day," Fred told her.
"Coma?!" Cordy just sighed and leaned into her chair. "Look, if it will get me untied any quicker, just tell me why you strangers think you know me..."
***
90 minutes later...
"So, let me make sure I understand this," Cordelia said slowly. "You all think I moved here wanting to be an actress, but sucked at it from day one. Then some vamp tried to eat me, I get saved by Angel and some guy that's half-demon..."
"His name was Doyle," Angel filled in the blank.
"Okay, I meet Doyle," the New York brunette continued. "He's a nice drunken Irishman who has a huge crush on me, but he dies shutting off an evil high- powered flashlight. I become your secretary, then since this Doyle guy kissed me I become a Vision Girl. Years of pain later, I get sucked into some hell dimension, and meet you," she said, pointing to Fred.
Cordelia then said slowly, "While there I first become a slave, then a princess, then we all come back to LA. Later, I have an affair with a Baywatch reject who followed me from Pile-on, or wherever. Then the best part; I go up to Heaven...but not."
She took a breath before she continued on. "After all that I come back, go evil, have some part-god/part-demon baby while no one knows who the father is...and then I wind up in a coma. A coma, mind you, that I just woke up from, but really didn't; and then I kicked the bucket?"
Ms. Chase looked over the assembled group in incredulity. "Is that right?"
"Ah, pretty much, yeah," Angel told her uncomfortably.
"Well, then...can you also tell me, what the hell you people have been smoking all these years?! Angel, I have *not* been back to California in over four years. I left after the suck-fest that was Graduation!!" she told the vampire.
The young man came back in. "Um, Mr. Angel? There's something else we found."
"I'm afraid to ask, but what?"
"Well, sir..." He looked to Cordelia. "I don't know how, but it seems that in our own Files and Records department, we do indeed now have two sets of records for Chase, Cordelia. One from LA; and the other has her living in New York. Now working as a columnist for Vogue magazine, under the pseudonym of Brittany Turner."
"That has to be wrong!" Wesley said at once from his seat. "When we took over this branch of the firm, I did a complete records search for anything and everything related to us, and no such records existed! Certainly nothing like that!"
"I don't know what to say, sir," Richards told his boss with a shrug. "There is now. I conferred with the records office in the New York branch, and they also have corresponding files appearing in their own department. One second nothing, then poof! They're there."
"Keep looking," Angel told him firmly. "I want answers. And I want them now!"
"Yes, sir!" the man gulped as he quickly left the room.
"Ah, now please! Don't get too wound up at the hired help, Stink Guy..."
Everyone turned to the windows, at the sound of the voice. A man dressed in an outfit that looked like it had been slept in was leaning against the wall.
"Whistler!" Angel exclaimed. "Never thought I'd say it again, but glad you're here. Now, can you make any sense outta this!?" he asked, as he slid over the folder to the end of the table.
The balance demon just watched as the folder kept going and slid off the table, making no effort to stop it before its contents scattered onto the floor. "Yeah, I can tell you exactly what's happened, rat breath..." "Rat breath?" Fred asked in a whisper to Wes, who just shrugged.
"Oy, what kind of demon are you?!" Spike demanded, as he stood up and switched to his game face.
"I'm here as a messenger from the Powers That Be, junior. So do you really think a *vampire* is going to scare me? Your grandpa here couldn't do it back in the day, your odds suck!"
"You wanna find out how scary I can be, mate?" Spike asked dangerously, as he got closer.
"Listen up, blood breath," Whistler told him with an edge to his voice. "I don't have time for your crap, this is going to be hard enough as it is, so..."
The demon with the Queens accent waved his hand, and Spike suddenly found himself back in his chair. And no matter how much he struggled, he couldn't move. William the Bloody then started to swear at the demon, but oddly enough no sound came out of his mouth either.
Whistler then promptly ignored him, as he moved to Cordelia. "Now, Ms. Chase, when I remove your straps I gotta ask you to please stay seated." When Cordelia cast him a dirty look, he shrugged. "Hey, I want to get this cleared up as soon as possible, same as you. Trust me!"
"Fine, I'll play the good little girl. Just for a few minutes, then I'm outta here!" Cordelia swore, rubbing her wrists.
"Okay, so here's the deal." Whistler pointed to Cordy. "This is the *real* Cordelia Chase. And she's been living in New York, ever since she left Sunnydale."
"Thank you!" Cordelia released a large smile, at finally having met *someone* sane.
"But she was with us for all those years. A real, living person. So how-?" Angel asked the demon.
"Yes she was, but you see - that was just a copy of her," the balance demon told them all simply.
"A copy!?" Wesley asked in shock. "As in a clone?"
"This is totally and completely messed up," was all Gunn could think to say.
"There really was another me!? Someone who went through everything what these clowns here told me?!" Cordelia yelled, upset.
'Whoa, whoa people! Let me explain."
"You'd better," Cordelia said, crossing her arms in a huff. "And I swear, it had better be *damn* good."
"Well, Ms. Chase, as you were no doubt recently told; all these people here were manipulated over the past few years, to let that Jasmine bitch come into this world," Whistler told her.
"Yeah, but what does that have to do with *me*?" she asked, still pissed.
"Jasmine was looking for the right people, to help facilitate bringing her into this reality. So naturally, she looked in on the Slayer."
"Buffy," Angel commented at once.
"You got it, Angel," Whistler said before he continued, "She saw the big fight with Angelus, and the thing with Acathla. She saw two people that interested her. You, and Cordelia here." "Me?" Cordelia asked, surprised. "But I wasn't some big bad vampire killer!"
"True," the demon told her. "But do you remember what you told that guy Xander Harris, when you found him at that hospital back then?"
The woman frowned, shaking her head. "I just remember being so relieved that he was okay. Granted he had a broken arm and all, but he was alive. Which is more than you could say for Kendra. But do I remember what I said to him...nope, sorry."
"Don't worry, I saw the replay already," Whistler told her. "You were upset that your boyfriend stayed to fight, and you ran. You were depressed that everyone else slugged it out, while you hit the road; granted Harris ordered you to do it, and odds are you'd be dead today if you hadn't, but still...the point is from that time on, you wanted to better yourself."
"What are you talking about?"
"It's real simple, doll," Whistler said, as he looked her in eyes. "For the next few weeks while that Giles character searched for Buffy Summers, you helped Zeppo Boy out with patrols. And then when you came back from the summer trip, you kept patrolling with him and his little gang until Little Miss I-Can't-Deal-Anymore returned home and took over."
"Why don't you just spell it out for us," Angel ordered the demon, as Spike bristled at the denigration of his lady love.
"Long story short," Whistler said. "Good ol' Jasmine knew that our girl here was going to go to New York and her rich relatives, not LA; as she was told her acting sucked by practically everyone on the Hellmouth, who had seen her in that talent show during 1997. So as the real Cordy left the state, Cordy number two showed up in LA." "HEY!" Cordelia shouted in annoyance at the wisecracks.
"No! Damn it, NO!!!" Fred said, with tears in her eyes. "You're sitting there telling us that our time with our friend who we worked with, fought with, cried with, was not real!?"
"What?" Whistler asked. "Oh, hell no. She believed she was the real Cordelia Chase, and ain't no one can say different. And she followed Jasmine's plan, even though she didn't know any bit of it herself. She was real, soul and all, and her own person. Huh, and best guess is about 70 % of what went down in LA would have gone the same if the original model here," he pointed to Cordelia, "had been there."
He continued, "She lived, loved and died as Cordelia Chase. And she's up there at the moment in...well, it has way too many names, but she's upstairs nowadays and she is *not* taking the news very well that she was the dummy model Cordelia. But, eh, I think she'll be okay eventually."
"You think, or you know?" Cordelia demanded. She didn't like the idea of there being another her running around, for the last few years; but if it had been another version of Cordelia Chase, like say a long-lost twin, she couldn't help but feel for it...no, for her.
"Oh, babe, don't worry about *her*," Whistler said casually. "She has her own support group already. A lot of souls of the fallen from both your groups are helpin' her out. That Doyle guy, especially."
"This is just too much," Cordelia said softly to herself, shaking her head.
"Now that I explained it-" At Angel's look the demon added, "Okay, granted it's not what any of you wanted to hear, but it's the truth; and so, deal." He took out a sealed envelope and gave it to Cordelia. "Here."
"What's this?" the woman asked.
"It's Harris's contact info and a plane ticket," Whistler told her. "He's in Africa at the moment, training new Slayers."
Cordelia's eyes became huge. "Did you say Slayers? As in, more than one?"
"Twenty actually," the good guy demon told the opened-mouthed Cordelia. "And that's just in his camp. Angel-cakes here can fill you in on that bit. Well, bye." He waved once, and then in the time it took to blink, he was no longer there.
Cordy looked to Angel, shocked. "Twenty Slayers? Okay, what, did Dweeb Boy do mouth-to-mouth on Buffy, Faith and *all* of her successors?"
****
Several hours later.
Cordelia sat with Angel in his private office. He had told her so manystories of her doppelgänger, that the New Yorker had started to feel a certain kinship to the other her. "Boy, it's a shame I never came to town sooner. I would have loved to have met her...me. You know, after all the awkwardness and swearing was out of the way."
Cordelia then leaned forward from her spot on the couch. "You loved her, didn't you?"
Angel looked at her with a start. "What? I never said..."
"You didn't have to, dummy," she told him with a smirk. "I'm a woman, I can tell. It's just the way you talk about her."
"Yeah, I did," the vampire told her with a sigh. "Took me too long to realize it, though. Uh, I suppose you'd know if anyone would; but do you think she could have loved me? She said she did, but she was already possessed by then, so I can't be sure-"
Cordelia thought for a moment. "Yeah, I think she could have. If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that love can hit you right when you're not looking for it. You just have to look at my ex back in high school, to see that."
Angel tried to hide his feelings, but he wasn't having much luck. "I just miss her so much..." He looked to his companion. "I was just finding her, finding *us* and then she was taken from me. Used by an evil...damn it, she never had a chance."
"I can tell you one thing she had," Cordelia told him softly.
"What?" he asked.
"Friends," the brunette said softly, as a tear came down her cheek. "Angel, when I left Sunnydale, I thought I had only two friends left in the entire world. I was so alone when I first started college; I didn't see my cousins that much, if at all. But slowly, I made new friends and I remember how wonderful it felt to have people who cared for me. So, I know how wonderful it would have felt for her."
She caught a look the clock on the wall. "Damn, I have to get back to the hotel to pack, if I'm going to catch that flight," Cordy told him as she got up.
"If I can," Angel said slowly, "There is one last thing I want to ask you."
"Sure, anything." "Why are you so intent on finding Xander?" the vampire Champion asked, unable to help sounding a little more jealous than he'd intended.
"You mean, am I going to go running back to my old boyfriend? Planning to find some nice warm closet and make out like old times?" the 23-year-old woman asked with a small smile.
He just nodded.
"Well, no," she told the former Irishman, causing him no little relief. "Xander was my first love, Angel. Yeah, we ended very badly, but I wouldn't mind having him in my life again."
Cordy sighed, "I told him I wanted some time away from him, to heal, when I left Sunnydale. Which is probably why he never talked to the Cordelia you knew."
"But..." she continued. "Time just flew by, I was so busy with school and work that I kept putting off contacting him again. Then when I saw a huge hole in the ground on CNN one morning, I knew I just had to find him. It's been a long few months, but if it was the other way around, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't stop looking for me. Besides, there is something I need to ask him."
"What's that?" Angel wondered.
"If he'll come to my wedding," the real Cordelia Chase said gently, not wanting to upset her companion too much. "On account of we need more groomsmen."
"Wedding?" Angel asked with a yelp, shocked. "You're getting married?"
"Yeah, Kurt was the first friend I made at Columbia. We spent so much time studying together, that one night he asked me if we should just go out to dinner and get it over with. That was two and a half years ago. He proposed to me a few weeks ago on the beach."
"You're not wearing a ring," Angel observed, his heart feeling like it was breaking in two all over again.
"You did see the neighborhood that we were in, didn't you?" Cordelia asked him teasingly. "No way was I wearing a diamond out in the open like that!"
She turned for the door, but looked back. "Angel, I can't say that I know how you feel about all this. But I can tell you one thing; your Cordelia? She was just as real as you and me. Just remember what that Whistler guy told us; she's up there with your other friend Doyle, and they're looking down on you right now with nothing but pure love. Keep them in your heart, and I'm sure it'll all work out, somehow."
And with that, the one and only Cordelia Chase left the building, never to return.
THE END The challenge... "I think that if they're going to put Cordelia's identity in question and rewrite seasons, they should just go for broke. Cordelia was a plant all along. The real Cordelia never even went to LA, but jet set to the east coast after graduation where she met up with some still affluent relatives who paid her way through Columbia, where she made all the right connections and became a high muckety muck at Vogue. Then, on a very special episode of Angel, the real Cordelia power lunches in LA, only to run into Angel who has to deal with loving a person who shares none of his memories. And, then, ya know, Joss can kill ANOTHER Cordelia. The fun would never have to stop for him." - by samluvsharrison