I was having such a wonderful day yestetrday, reading such hilarious Fan Fics in the game section (Final Fantasy X) when I came across one that had me start thinking... Something was mentiond about the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy... Why can't there be one for Bleach?

Ichigo: You have go to be kidding... Excuse me while I go kill myself...

Haha, sorry Ichi! Your life is about to become a whole lot more intesting than it was when you first met Rukia... We are going all the way back to the start of Bleach, before Ichigo was a Substitue Shinigami, before Chad and Orihime found their powers, before Aizen was a total asshole! Don't worry, I'll try not to ruin this amazing series for you... Just make you look at it from a compleatly different angle!

Now, if you have ever read the book or watched the move for Hitchhickers Guid to the Galaxy, then you would know that this should be very interesting and maybe even make you laugh your tiny (or big) ass off! This is going to be the whole plot setter and getting thing out of the way and getting information cramed into your tiny brains before we get started on chapter one. This is going to be a very looooooong chapter story so be prepared for many chapters to come...

Rukia: Please tell me you didn't have sugar this morning...

... I plead the fifth...

Rukia: ... I'm right behind you Ichigo!

Wait! I need you guys to help me explain this to all those unsuspecting readers out there who don't know that I'm tracking their computers and taking their files to use against them later!

... You didn't hear that from me...

Okay! Lets get this started with explaining the main characters! I'll let them explain themselves. Ichigo, you first!

Ichigo: Fine.
My character is the ass who really doesn't care much for others and only helps because he was promised to be left alone by that small ass girl Rukia. Only to be draged into a whole new world that even killing himself would just result into being annoyed by a bunch of dead people... Whoch already happens because I can see dead people... It's like The Sixth Sense, only more annoying and they don't try to kill you or anything... Except the crazy fuckers like those Hollow things that tried to kill my family and apparently eat my soul...

Rukia: You make everything sound like it's bad!
As the main bitch of the story, I screw up Ichigo's life my stabbing him with my Zanpakutou and resulting in him being a greedy ass and taking all my power, making me a total Mary Sue because I can't fight for myself anymore so I have to rely on others to help me out and get Ichigo to do my dirty work!

Chad: ...
I'm Chad.

... Is that all you're going to say?

Chad: ... I'm tall...

And apparently don't talk much either.

Chad: ... I like tomatos.

OKAY! Next! Please!

Orihime: I'll go!
I'm the main, bubly girl who is a compleat ditz and really doesn't understand anything until pretty much it's to late and uses her boobs as an excuse for being stupid! Although I end up with maybe the most useful power out of everyone in this series, I'm still tp stupid to realize that I can turn back time with my crazy fearie things that live in my hair pins! I may be useless in a fight, but I'm good at getting myself kidnaped and crying lots! I also have a huge crush on Ichigo, but he's to much of an ass to really notice that I'm practically throwing myself at him.

Uryu: Orihime, you really are a ditz...
I'm the emo of the whole thing. I blame the Murder of my kind on Shinigami because they killed my grandfather and pretty much everyone else but me and my father, who runs a hospital and thinks hes a badass because he can beat up his some when it comes to Quincy Abilities. I also have a huge crush on Orihime, but i have such a low self asteam that I can't bring myself to even get close to asking her out. I'm pretty useless in anything major besides sewing and being a total know-it-all. I hate life and Shinigami.

Chad: ...I'm mexican.

SOMEONE MAKE HIM STOP TALKING!

Renji: -Ties Chad up and tapes his mouth shut- Never thought I'd have to do that to such a big guy!
Names, Renji, but of course you know me. I'm Leuitenant of Squad 6 and my Captain thinks I'm useless. But he hates everyone. My hair is unaturally red and I was bored with some kind of skin disorder that makes me grow weird black marks all over my body like that Emo from Naruto that gets angry and hands grow out of his back from some bite that a pedophile gave him. I think I'm a bad ass and I have an obsestion with always having something on my forehead.

Chad: -muffles something-

I don't speak muffled...

Kakashi: I do!

What the fuck are you doing here? Wrong anime buddy...

Kakashi: Fine, I was only going to help...

WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE'S SAYING! GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I KILL YOU! I can do that. I'm writing this shit!

Kakashi: Fine! -leaves-

OKAY! Anyone else want to introduce themselves before I start killing people?

Byakuya: ...
I am Captain of Squad 6 of the Gotei 13. My Leuitenant is useless and my sister is a disapoitment to the Kuchiki Clan. I have a supiriority Complex and think, KNOW, that I am hot. I love my hair and think Renji looks like a very red Pinapple.

Renji: I knew you hated me... After all we've been through tegether!

Ok, so before Renji ends up dead, lets call this Opening sequence to an end...

Hope you will enjoy reading this and have as much fun imagining what the hell is going on as I'm updating. I'm warning now that I am not a constant updater. My updates are sometimes slow. It may sometimes take up to a few months for me to update. I do have a life so therefore, I go to school or I hang out with friends. I travle more than I should but I will update as I need to.

Enjoy.

Chapter one will be up soon enough so don't crap yourself just yet!