In Your Hell
They had never known that even though hatred may have separated them, pain may have brought them closer than they could ever realize.
---
Cold breath on his neck tickled his nerves, his back shivering with hollow fear. He had sworn when this day had come, he would not be afraid, he would not back down. Not after what Itachi had done without a blink of those bleeding eyes, no, he could do the same, he could murder without a twinge of emotion.
He had always been the special one, the one destined for greatness. Well, destiny was about to change, and Itachi's destiny was about to die right here, along with the rest of him. It was time he did what he had planned for all his life.
Sasuke stared up at Itachi, who had pushed him against a wall with a flick of a wrist. Itachi looked down at him, the collar of his coat swaying as he smirked. That smirk, that absent grin that held the aura of death, cooling and contemplating you, assessing you. Sasuke was going to Chidori that smirk right off his face. Itachi narrowed his eyes, his smirk holding strong, pushing him harder. Sasuke couldn't help but cringe, making his body ache against the stone of the alleyway they were in.
Hadn't he waited all his life for this, since that day where Itachi wiped out his future in one fell swoop? Hadn't he prepared, in the process betraying the only friends he had ever had, the only people who had truly cared for him?
But what was love in the face of death?
Nothing. It didn't last a lifetime. It lasted as long as you died. Which may be now. As long as Itachi was taken down, Sasuke didn't care if that was with him or not.
Itachi's breath staggered with hollow words.
"Have I taught you nothing, Sasuke-chan?" Itachi whispered hoarsely, causing Sasuke's neck to tense hard. Sasuke lifted a hand, only to have Itachi push that through the wall, another easy movement. He chuckled, a cold sound that sounded almost barbaric. Sasuke narrowed his eyes.
"You want me to avenge. I'm here to do my job." Sasuke said, staring up with angry, cold black eyes. Itachi stared down impassively, then closed his eyes.
"And you have done your job poorly. You were supposed to train, and yet you come early because your ambitions drive you. You still lack...hatred." Itachi said, eyes closed, smirk plastered across his face. That word. Sasuke truly held hatred for that word.
That word that bound Itachi to the Akatsuki, that killed his clan without blinking. He hated that word. And yet it had become the word he lived by.
Sasuke closed his eyes.
The one plan, the one thing that would complete his life or restore his freedom, his freedom from the hatred that bound him to his brother.
He could feel Itachi smirk.
"The punishment is inevitable. As I have changed my mind...I will not be stopped. You were a figment of my past, the last remaining. My past will be destroyed. As...will you." Itachi said, eyes thrown open.
Sasuke's heart turned cold. It was now or never, the plan he had killed his own life for.
"Tsukuyomi!" Cried two voices. Itachi blinked, letting go of Sasuke in shock. Red eyes bled into each other. Itachi's face was a mixture of shock and, if Sasuke could see it at all, a flash of fear.
Sasuke's Mangekyo Sharingan eyes bore into Itachi's own, and Sasuke grinned a malicious grin.
"You're confused, and I'll say it before you surely die along with me." Sasuke rasped menacingly. "You say you have to kill your best friend...I killed my own life. I betrayed, I hurt others while hurting myself. My hatred grows stronger than you know...brother." Sasuke said, the power of Itachi's Mangekyo causing him to fall to the ground, red surrounding the world around him.
Itachi gasped for air as he also fell, only able to keep his won Mangekyo Sharingan eyes on Sasuke. His eyes drew shut as he saw only one thing as he became unconscious...Sasuke's fierce crimson eyes, tearing with agony.
Itachi had sworn that his brother was a figment of his past, a trophy of his work at wiping out his whole clan in one sweep.
That past was haunting him, haunting him. His eyes closed, and he was forced to succumb to the biting darkness.
Itachi's eyes opened slowly, then he shook his head to ready himself, blinking, his Mangekyo Sharingan activating. Or, so he thought it was. He blinked, channeled chakra, and only his normal Sharingan blazed. He gaped, furious, and looked around, before fear set into his already-cold veins.
A blood-red sky graced the horizon, and black shadowed his view. He spun around, hands raised to ready for an attack. He felt no cloaks billow around him, the soft brush of silk against his neck, and he looked down at himself, shock causing him to choke back a yell.
He was adorned in a blue shirt, and bandages across his arms.
"Sasuke..." He hissed, a low growl. He immediately felt his head, only to find that he did not have the long hair he once had.
"Sasuke-kun..." Came a voice from what seemed like far away. He turned around, about to kill whoever came his way. He was caught in his own illusion, the illusion he had meant for Sasuke, to remind him of his own pain.
A girl with bright green eyes and light pink hair like cherry blossoms stared back at him quizzically. Itachi brought a kunai out of his shirt and lifted it in front of himself fiercely. The girl gaped, immediately backing away, eyes flashing something like hurt.
"What are you doing? Kakashi-sensei is here for training...and you're the late one!" She scolded, rather shakily, eying the weapon. Itachi turned around, searching for some type of answer. This isn't the pain he had wanted Sasuke to feel, this was anything but! He had a fine life!
"Fine." Itachi said, in Sasuke's voice, and pushed past the girl, throwing her to the side. She regained her composure and narrowed her eyes at him.
"Ever since Kakashi taught you Chidori you've done nothing but hate everything around you!" She exclaimed with a twinge of worry in her voice. Itachi stopped, narrowed his eyes.
"You don't know the meaning of hatred." Itachi said coolly, and continued to walk. The morning sun didn't shine, no sound entered Itachi's ever-calm mind. This world he had created, what purpose did it serve if he felt no pain?
Once he had reached the training grounds, the annoying pink-haired girl behind him, Itachi stopped, only to see that man, Sasuke's sensei, Hatake Kakashi, lazily reading a book while the Kyuubi's container pestered him about it. Raising an eyebrow, Itachi wondered how Sasuke even learned how to mold chakra with such an easy-going sensei. Kakashi glanced up to look at Itachi.
"Good. You're here. Alright, training will be with just Sasuke today." Kakashi said, clapping his book shut and putting it away in his vest.
"WHA?!?!" The Kyuubi container and the girl cried in disbelief. Kakashi shrugged and Itachi narrowed his eyes.
"I don't need teaching, especially not by the likes of you." Itachi said, voice dripping in seething anger. Kakashi sighed, as if he had heard it millions of times before.
"If you want to restore your clan, you can't be weak, can you." He asked, bored. It was more of a statement than a question. Itachi blinked. This came as a surprise to him, as much as the sensei had said it as if Sasuke had spent his life speaking of it.
Restore the clan? Restore the Uchiha clan?
This was not what Sasuke had told him he wanted to do. No, he wanted to kill him. He wanted to kill the person who had destroyed the Uchiha clan, meaning him. Itachi. His own brother.
Restore it? Had Sasuke cared that much? The family was not bound to him in any other way than blood. They never loved Sasuke. They loved Itachi, the perfect. They loved him. No, they worshipped him. They never cared for Sasuke, and now, Sasuke cares to carry on the legacy, picking up the pieces, where they left off?
No.
He had hurt Sasuke, like he had wanted to. He had wanted the pain to destroy his brother. He had been a waste of his chakra. And he wanted to restore the clan that had denied him his own chance, that had spun him into his shadow. Itachi could not believe it.
Why was Sasuke so determined, when he could kill Itachi and leave it at that?
You only have one life to live. Now or never. And Sasuke had wanted to restore it, make a life for himself?
"Fine." Itachi said slowly, glaring up at Hatake Kakashi. "I'll train."
Soon they were in the hills, sand tracing their footsteps. Itachi had walked like a zombie, deep in thought.
"Alright." Kakashi said, sitting down. Itachi blinked. Sitting? He needed to train, obviously...what was this nonsense? "First of all, your work is going well. But your Chidori...Sasuke..." He said, his eye narrowing a little sadly.
"Your guilt over not being able to kill your brother is clouding your full attack power. It's stopping your chakra flow." Kakashi said slowly. Itachi blinked, clenching his fists.
Pain. His chakra felt cold, colder than his own. Sasuke felt the pain every time he attacked. Suddenly Itachi's eyes flashed.
"No...Nii-chan..." He saw Sasuke's younger self, crying for mercy, begging for it to be a nightmare, a bloody, cruel nightmare. Then he saw himself. Itachi, holding a bloodied sword, red eyes blazing, manipulating, "Why..." Whispered Sasuke as he fell, holding himself, sobs racking his body. He fell into a pool of blood, and Itachi could feel Sasuke's consciousness drifting, pain lying to him, feelining leaving his empty heart.
Itachi snapped out of the vision, falling to the ground, eyes wide, arms hugging his body. He gasped for breath. Kakashi blinked his one uncovered eye. "Sasuke..."
"What is this?!" Itachi asked hoarsely, the images replaying in his mind, the cold feeling making his bones feel brittle in his skin. He gasped, fell onto his side, chest racking for air. He threw his hands to his head, eyes wide, fear turning his eyes red. The Sharingan was setting in. The cold horror, the fear, the need to kill, the need to be freed from this curse.
Pain...oh, the monstrous pain he felt. He had killed Sasuke. Maybe not physically, but mentally. All this time Itachi had killed without batting an eyelash, but had he ever felt the pain they felt before death? Or the pain of not being dead?
He was in hell.
It was the worst of torture, it was a gruesome fate. His eyes glazed over as once again he succumbed to the slow, slower beat of his dead heart.
---
"Itachi." Called a voice. Sasuke threw his eyes open, stumbled to get up, getting in a battle position. The Mangekyo had not succeeded? Damn it to hell! He was going to kill Itachi one way or another. Sasuke thrust himself off the ground, reaching for a kunai.
He blinked, patting his pockets. No kunai case was slung from him. He looked around frantically, eyes widening more as a ponytail hit his hands. He grabbed it and pulled, wincing from the hard tug. He looked at himself.
Long black pants. He was taller. He was Itachi.
He let the reality sink in, stared at his hands, then let out a bloodcurdling scream. He stared at the red sky, taunting him from above. The Mangekyo.
The Mangekyo had caused this.
Was he dead?
Had Itachi deflected his attacks?
"Itachi!" Came a more forceful voice. Sasuke blinked and turned around furiously.
A frightened man, on the ground bleeding. The croak had come twice, the second one softer than the first. His shirt was soaked in blood, he was gripping his heart. He looked at him, shivering with pure terror.
"Why?!" Shishui cried. Sasuke knew him to be the man Itachi killed. Suddenly Sasuke looked down, letting the horror of the situation set in. A kama lay beneath him, drenched in a puddle of blood. The kama glinted the red of the Mangekyo sky. Sasuke stepped back, eyes blazing, but no scream would come.
'Kill...kill...' His brain called, causing Sasuke to throw his body around in fear.
"What is it?! Who's there?!" He cried, mistaking his mind for a voice in the woods. A river flowed red behind Shishui, who was gagging, blood dripping from his mouth. Suddenly he closed his eyes, and dragged his body towards the river, clutching his chest.
"You will be the downfall of yourself, Itachi. Your mind will be your downfall!" Shishui gasped, and with one forceful push, he was in the river, his last breath lingering in the burgundy air. Sasuke screamed, his hands red with blood.
'Hate the people who depend on you. Hate them. Kill them. They will learn of your hatred. You will become strong. You will become invincible!' His mind whispered to him.
"No!!!" Sasuke gasped, running away, the images of the dying Shishui echoing through his mind, the words of insanity dripping into his heart.'Kill them. Show them your power. Show them your destiny. Show them their death, by your Sharingan!' His mind whispered softly, teasing him towards insanity.Sasuke's eyes burned.'Itachi...the Sharingan is your curse...and it is your gift...it will be your downfall...unless you make it theirs!'
"NO!!!" Sasuke screamed, throwing Itachi's body to the ground, eyes closing, Shishui's blood dripping from his hands. Cursed, cursed, cursed.
Hell, it was hell.
The insanity...Itachi was insane! He was insane!
'Kill...kill...'
His mind seduced him, drawing him to feel the warm blood, the shadows surrounding him.
What was this?! Itachi. Itachi's power was his inner madness. He had become hard. The calmness, the mind that calmed him after the wake of a kill.
What had happened?
He was dying. Sasuke felt Itachi body stiffen, fall to the ground, breathing labor.
He welcomed it. He welcomed the death after the pain, the pain, let it go away.
Let the blood show him a warm haven.
---
Both of the Uchiha's eyes flew open at the same instant. They were panting, and Sasuke took the chance to thrust himself up, eyes burning. He stumbled, falling, then caught himself. Everything was red, red.
Sasuke gaped. The Mangekyo had ended. Even though everything was still red, he was in his own body, Itachi on the ground, on his back, looking at him with glazed over eyes.
He made no motion to get up, having no motivation to do so.
Sasuke's eyes blurred and focus, the red in the sky disappearing. Reality was setting in. The Mangekyo had been used, the chakra was flowing out of him fast.
"Well?" Came a slow sigh. Sasuke blinked, staring around, then looked down at Itachi. He was looking back at him, expectantly. "Kill me. You are here to do so. Make it gruesome. Make me feel the pain I gave to you." Itachi said in a slow, calm voice. The Mangekyo was gone out of his eyes. Sasuke blinked, letting out a small gasp, then regained his composure.
Itachi's pain held him pinned to the ground. He would welcome the death. He had killed himself, in a sense. How long had Sasuke felt this? Had he lost his sanity, as he had years ago?
"Do it." Itachi said, in a cold solitude. It was too calm, too ready for what was to come.
Sasuke took out a kunai, eyes burning into Itachi's.
Itachi blinked slowly, made no move to get up.
Sasuke's heart beat slowed, his spine tingled.
Wasn't this what he had waited for, all his life?
'Kill...kill...'
Wasn't this the reason he lived, his dream, his reality?
'Kill...kill...'
Sasuke's mind was taunting him, just as it had taunted him when he had lived as Itachi.
No.
He would not accept Itachi's fate.
It was the decision that he had to make, no matter what happened to himself.
The kunai was flung to the ground, and Itachi didn't blink as it sped towards him.
The kunai hit the ground right near Itachi's head, whistling as it flew. Itachi blinked, either out of surprise or pain.
"You missed." Was all Itachi said, slowly, expectantly. Sasuke turned around, stopped, doubled-back.
"I won't kill you." Sasuke said, his own words surprising him. "You're my brother, whether blood binds us or fate. And I pity you. What you have felt...what I have felt...you will suffer. One day, your mind will be the downfall of you. You have already died, Itachi, and you will live with that as your torture. I will never put you out of your own misery. I will not do you favor. I will not avenge the Uchiha clan." Sasuke said curtly, turning to walk away.
Itachi smirked, but made no move to get up, not yet.
They would meet again, either in battle or by chance.
What would become of them? Fate would deal that to them soon enough.
"I did it to save them." Itachi said throatily. Sasuke blinked, turned around wildly, eyes wide.
"What did you say?!" He demanded, fists clenched so hard that his knuckles turned white.
"The Sharingan, it is our gift and our pride. But you don't see. It summons us to kill. It did me, as it will you." Itachi said, rasping bitterly.
"You're lying!" Sasuke cried, face a look of pure anger, outrage.
"I succumbed to the calls. Others harden, master it. I did it to save them from the voices, save them from the calling. But you. I believed you could master it, and one day, you would release me from it also!" Itachi said forcefully.
Sasuke blinked, his vision suddenly becoming blurry, fists unclenching.
What was he saying?
Did Itachi believe he would surpass him?
Or was he lying to save himself from death by the chirping of a thousand birds?
Sasuke, to this day, would never know.
He began to walk, the cold breeze of nightfall welcoming him. For once Sasuke was seeing the light of things, seeing that maybe, just maybe, it was worth it to live, to become what he wanted to be, not what he had to be.
An avenger.
He was an avenger no longer.
His footsteps quickened, leaving Itachi lying in the cool mist.
"We are cursed. You will harden, as I did. The Mangekyo will drive you insane, as it did me." Itachi told him.
"I will welcome the feeling." Sasuke said blandly, leaving behind his life-long ambitions. Was he beginning to understand his brother, the man who had destroyed him from within?
Or was he leaving him to die, letting him succumb to his own psychotics?
"We're more similar than different, Sasuke." Itachi called after him firmly, calmly. Sasuke stopped, but didn't turn around. His eyes widened as Itachi began to speak again.
"We're both going to hell."
A/N: I needed a darker fic. It's a oneshot, so don't count on it being continued. Stay tuned for more ShikaTema and even a ShikaSaku –is shot- Thanks!