Okay, (exhaling nervously) my name is Anime-tanaka, some authors may know me like GhiMiNaRuHo, jwinkee, emrevolemina and Keyk no Miko. I used to write the story "I Love New York" but I kind of deleted it. (Don't ask why) Anyway, this is my first fanfic! And I dedicate this story to emrevolemina and GhiMiNaRuHo! Hope you will like my story everyone!

Feel free to flame me or review me, I would really appreciate it!

Summary: I see her… But I can't reach her… She already loves someone else… But… WHAT ABOUT ME!? I destroyed the mirror in front of me… I hold my fist that was now bleeding, and saw all of her images flash before me… My Mikan…

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice… but I would if I ruled the world!

Chapter 1: A Hidden Feeling

On the night of November 7, it happened…

I could still remember the setting: we both were under a willow tree by a beautiful lake… The moon was beaming on the both of us. My oceanic blue eyes could see her angelic face, I thought it was a coincidence to see her there, but it was actually fate taking its place…

I usually come to that willow tree by the lake at night to think or whenever I'm not sleepy since it was very late at night, I was surprised to see somebody there.

When I got closer to the stranger, I noticed that the person seemed familiar. And then I realized… the stranger was HER…

Yes, it was MY ANGEL, who was sitting in my favorite place, MY ANGEL, with her beautiful auburn hair… MY ANGEL with her rich chocolate orbs that just made me stay in my place. The same angel who could make me blush and laugh… and even CRY…

In short, I'm in love with her…

But something is not right, she was crying… It pains me to see her cry… I just want to kill the person who hurt My Angel…

The only problem is, I can't kill the guy, because the cause of all her suffering is my own best friend, the fire caster Natsume Hyuuga.

I'm not angry at him, nor am I willing to hurt him. It's just that, I know she loves him, not me. That's why I'm hiding all my feelings for her. I can't deny the fact that she does not return my feelings, but I still have this strong urge to confess my feelings towards her. It's like I can't contain it any longer. But, even though I know she will reject me, I fear of how she will answer me. That is why I hesitate to tell her

(Flashback)

One time when I was somewhere around the Northern Forest to feed the animas, I saw Natsume with Mikan, I went near them to say hi but when I heard Mikan cry, I stopped in my tracksand hid behind a nearby bush. I didn't mean to eavesdrop in their conversation but I don't like to interrupt them either, so I stayed in my place and waited for what will happen next.

Normal P.O.V.

"Stop Natsume! You know you could get hurt while doing all these hard missions! Why can't you----", Mikan was cut off by Natsume. "And what, little girl?! Since when did you ever care?! You don't need to care about me! You're just so annoying!", Natsume yelled angrily. Mikan was shocked at this point and hurt by what he said. Then tears started to form in her chocolate orbs then she looked down at the ground.

"I care! I care, okay!? Why can't you understand that, Natsume!? I get worried about you and in everything you do that could hurt me, I cry about it!! You know why, Natsume?", Mikan closed her eyes and paused a bit. "This is it! I can't control my feelings any longer! Now or never, Mikan!", she thought. Then she looked up at Natsume showing her stained red rosy cheeks and her eyes filled with the tears she's been holding back for so many years. Natsume was shocked in looking at her face and felt guilty but just for a moment, then he put back his mask on that showed of cruelty and of no concern at all.

"I-I LOVE YOU, NATSUME!!! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?! I TRIED TO DENY THESE FEELINGS! BUT IT WAS MAKING THE WEIGHT IN MY HEART EVEN HEAVIER TO THE LIMIT!!! AND NOW I'M SURE THESE STRONG FEELINGS FOR YOU ARE REAL!!!", Mikan then burst out crying and suddenly hugged Natsume. "Natsume, you mean everything to me…", she said between her sobs.

Ruka's P.O.V.

My eyes then turned lifeless the minute she said those words to Natsume. I've had enough…No more… I was so jealous and I tried hard to look away from the scene, but my eyes were glued on to the painful sight of Mikan hugging Natsume. The nest thing I knew, I found my legs running away from the place. I was hurt, no doubt about it, but I was happy for Natsume since Mikan is "The One" for him, but I've always denied it and kept on saying to myself, "I'll know the answer when I tell her…"

…I was mixed feelings all together…

(end of flashback)

That was last week… last week …

It seemed like an eternity has gone past, but I would never forget that moment, the moment I was already rejected without even given a chance to tell her…

I still want to say it, but I fear for our friendship, we were really close friends ever since 2 years ago when Imai left for Europe to study. Oh Imai, she would always help me to get near her… but, I'm sorry, Imai, all your efforts were all a waste… not to mention my 100, 000 Rt…

After that incident between Mikan and Natsume, they started to go in their separate ways and started acting like they don't know each other, I didn't know what happened between them since I left when I last saw Mikan hugging Natsume.

I kept on asking myself on what happened, are Natsume and Mikan mortal enemies of some sort? Inside, I know I wanted that to happen, but then again, they are both the people who I treasure the most…

I tried to ask Natsume what was going on between them, but since then, Natsume was acting colder and crueler from the past week.

I also tried talking to Mikan about it, but, all she did was lock herself up in her no-star room after dismissal.

So this is what she does every night… she gets out then finds a place to weep…

I wish I could take all your pain away, but I'm afraid I could never find a way to put that genuine smile back in your face…

… So I guess, this is my chance…

… This is my ONLY chance.. to tell her…

… It would at least distract her, at least forget about him even for just one moment and let her know that there is a person who loves her, who would care for her…

Then I finally took one step forward to a jump start, that could CHANGE…

… My whole life…