Title: Tell Me a Lie

I walked in school and proudly dangled the bracelet in front of every one as if they knew what it meant. Truth was, I wasn't really proud of what I did but I knew if I pretended, it wouldn't hurt so bad. I never shed a tear or cuddled into a corner because I was ashamed of myself, but I was hurting on the inside. I just had an urge to grab him by his hand and scream out loud into his pale chest.

Irony of all ironies, I see him walking hand and hand down the hallway with girl number four of the week. He gave me a small glance and kept walking as if nothing happened less than 12 hours ago. What was I expecting from his anyway? He is Jay Hogart. Why did I even speak to him after he approached me. Before Jimmy left me for Ellie and Paige practically merged with Alex, I referred to him as one of the candy bandits. His name was a mere word I heard down the hallway once a month and face was as foggy as last night's dream. He became a nobody to me to someone I think about all the time.

I hated him with a passion. Even when we're on the cleanest carpet of the world, I can never seem to get the dirt off my knees. Yet, every day it seems, I would go back to him for some more. It wasn't for the pathetic ass bracelets and it definitely wasn't for him. The one thing I think would put me out of my lonely misery only made it worst. The only time I'm not miserable is when I'm actually doing it. I can feel it, but I can't feel it. I'm just a mindless zombie whenever I'm satisfying him and then I turn into the worst person ever whenever I finish.

Still, I always found myself knocking on his door every night and tonight wasn't any different. He opened the door after the second knock and let me in routinely. Every time, I always look around his small house as if I'm impressed, trying not to make it seem like I'm there for him. Then why else am I here? He obviously had no regard towards my emotion, as he sat back on his sofa and called me over like a disgusting dog. Slouching on the sofa, he motioned me to do what I'll always do like an ass, I get on my knees and do it every time.

"Wait... can you... tell me something." My voice cracked and I looked up at him batted my eyelashes.

He let out a deep sigh as if the weren't the first time I asked. "Like what, Hazey?" At first, his pet name he gave me disgusted me, but now it sounds so natural.

"Tell me that you-"

"Yes, Hazel. I think you're cute." He said in a irritated voice.

"Look, you don't have to mean it in order to tell me. If you know it's gonna make me feel better. Do it!" I shouted at him, standing up at attention and looking down at him slouching.

"Why? Why is it always like this?"

"I never asked you for anything. Not even these cheap ass bracelets you give me to make me feel better!" I snapped the bracelets off my hand and blew him in his face.

"You might as well ask me. You've been throwing hints like this from the first time you did it!" He spat at me, face showing deep emotion of rage. "What is it going to do, make you feel better?!?" He asked in a sarcastically raged voice, not knowing that truly was the reason.

"Yeah! You know what, it will! I make you feel better everyday and you don't even bother to make me feel better. Make me feel better! Just tell me. You don't have to mean it, but just tell me! Lie to me!" I shouted over and over and looked him in his face. Every time I said it, his face showed a deeper sign of emotion.

"Because..." He spoke in a soft voice, unlike I have ever seen him. "Look... I never even told Alex those words whenever we went out."

"Are you scared?!? What!?" I shouted at him questionable.

"I know this doesn't sound like me at all, but I just..."

"What?!"

"I want to mean those words when I say them, ya know? Somethings like that are important to me. I'm not going to just run around say the most important words in the world to any girl who comes in my house. Even if she's as great as you are..."

All my emotion of rage and firing hate for Jay turned into sympathy for him. I could hardly breath at the moment but I still felt the pain of my past in my heart. Even with the pain, I couldn't help but grab his face. Next thing I knew, I was on my tip toes and feeling the wind caress my cheek the moment I let my lips touch his.

Suddenly, the broke kiss, and without any hesitation, he looked at me and spoke to me with the most honest expression I ever seen on him. "I love you!" He took slow breaths and looked at me passionately. Then he took a couple of steps to reach the door. "And that's why I'm letting you go." He said as he swung the door open.

For some reason, I didn't want to leave this time, but I knew I had to. I walked outside the apartment room and looked back before I turned the corner. His entire body was outside the door and he watched my every step until I was out of sight.

I didn't feel so empty this morning. I walked into the school with my chin toward the ceiling and a bare wrist. Jimmy finally acknowledged my existence after the break-up and Paige sat me during lunch. Despite the fact that things were starting to look a little brighter, the best thing I recall about that day was when Jay walked down the hallway along. He nodded me off and marched on toward his class. It wasn't exactly a kiss upon the cheek, but it was a start.

A/N: If people really enjoyed this one-shot, I'll consider making this into a story. But thanks for reading and reviewing(hint hint).