Christmas is Elsie's favorite time of year. The decorations, the lights, the tree and the children scurrying around with delight spread on their faces. It warms Elsie's heart to no extent. But this year was different; this year brought heartache, torment, and absolute exhaustion, starting with the night of Anna's attack. Finding Anna in the corner of her sitting room, hair mangled and dress ripped, whimpering for her to shut the door. She didn't show it, but there was utter panic tumbling in her mind. What to do, how to help and most importantly, how to keep it a secret.

Following that were the weeks of awkwardness between Anna and Mr. Bates, and several verbal threats to Mrs. Hughes to share what she knows. There was so much tension in the air and Elsie barely knew what to do with herself. "Keep strong for their sake" was her motto that she spoke day in and day out to herself. Mr. Green's comeback was another obstacle and added stress all around, rousing suspicion in some of the staff including Mr. Carson.

Green's death was a relief in some sort of sense but anxiety rose over the cause. Mr. Bates came to the forefront of her mind and she spent many listless nights praying to the good Lord that it wasn't true, that they be spared this.

And they were.

And things started to look promising. Time was able to heal certain wounds and improve others. There were more smiles and laughter from both Bates', and even the twinkle from the old Anna was starting to show again. Normalcy was beginning to feel, well, normal again.

Until now.

Until this very point in time as she sits in her sitting room, gaze fixed upon the fire, thinking back on these events. Her soul feels lost, her heart cracked and she physically aches from the secrets and burdens she's had to bare. "Keep strong for their sake" is just not working anymore; the words feeling thick in her mouth as she tries to say them out loud. She decides then that it can only work in front of others, but when she is by herself she can discard it. It is at this decision where her chest tightens and her face contracts as she lets out a muffled sob. Building in intensity, and volume, Elsie continues to release her cries. Every muscle in her body is shaking with such force as tension realizes it finally has a means to be free.

Elsie didn't hear the door opening and closing swiftly, nor did she hear the footsteps accompanied with a "Mrs. Hughes?" Mr. Carson walks towards Elsie now, taking in her appearance and sensing absolute distraught.

"Elsie?"

She looked up and saw Charles standing before her, thick eyebrows scrunching together in worry. He repeats her name and kneels in front of her, pulling out his handkerchief in one swift movement. She just stares at him for a moment wondering to herself if she's seeing correctly. She closes her eyes and opens them to see that he's still there, it is not some delusion from stress. She reaches for his hand as she begins sobbing again, more hysterically than before. Charles doesn't even hesitate to engulf her in his embrace as she cries loudly into his chest.

"Shhh now Elsie. Oh Elsie. I am here for you." He keeps repeating himself, hoping that his low-tone soothing will relax her. Propriety didn't even enter his mind as he caressed her, massaging her back and letting her know in a loving way that he is not going anywhere. Not now, not ever; the last part he has yet to gather the courage to tell her.

"Charles?" Elsie's voice was raspy as she talks to him now. "Oh Charles….I….I can't…"

He pulls her away from him to look at her. "Elsie you are breathing too quickly. Take deep breaths or I'm afraid you'll faint."

Doing as he says, Elsie takes several quivering breaths. Without even realizing it, Charles does it with her, and soon enough they are both in sync. He gets himself up from his knees and sits next to her on the settee, watching as tears continue to cascade.

"I'm sorry."

"For what exactly?"

"For this scene. It was not meant for anyone to see."

"Well, I'm glad I did."

"You are?"

"Yes. I could hear your cries from the hallway and knew I had to come in. You are my dearest friend Elsie, and I could not bear the fact that you were in here by yourself, suffering in agony. I would never want you to go through something so painful on your own."

Her expression softens as she listens to him speak. This wondering, charming man showing much more emotion than she's ever seen before. His façade is decaying and he's allowing her to see this.

"I may not know what this is all about, and it is up to you if you wish to tell me. But, as someone once told me before, you can always hold my hand if you need to feel steady."

At that she gives him a sheepish smile, partly for him remembering that day at the beach and partly because he is wearing the most adorable smirk. Clasping her hand in his, she leans against his shoulder as he wraps his arm around her tightly.

I think he just helped me find my soul.