Ash
Apparently I don't exist, and I am fine with that. If people knew who I was I would be dead, because well I killed someone really important to a lot of people, he probably should be be important to me, but I stand alone, and intend to stay that way until further notice. Since I don't exist I probably shouldn't tell you my name, I have always wanted a deviously deadly name, like Fire, or maybe even Fuego, but then where is the fun in that? You know I think I will just let you think my name is Ash, and it is NOT short for Ashley, just Ash. You understand what you have done right? You just made it impossible for you to have a normal life, you now live and lie, and if you can't keep my secret your dead, and I would hate to kill you, you seem pretty optimistic to keep listening to me tell my li-story. Before you keep thinking about that person I killed, no he was not my boyfriend, if you must know, it was my brother, we can call him Charlie, or Char for short. Honestly don't look at me like that, you would kill your brother too if you knew why I did.
Don't say, I didn't say, I told you so. I hate people who over estimate themselves so if you can't handle it, then you can bite the dust, push up the daisies, whatever, I don't want to get my hands dirty in another murder. Let's just say for the moment, everyone hates me, with the exception of my brother's ex-girlfriends, we can give them fake names too, okay so we have Hail Black, The Diabetic who misplaced her needles for a spindle, Miss. If-My-Head-Wasn't-Attached-I-Would-Forget-It-At-The-Ball-Too, then there is The Camel, and The Ugly Green One, Ugly Rose, The-Chick-Who-Kissed-My-Brother-As-A-Frog, Redheaded Land-Lubber. You know come to think of it, most of them hate me, since, by the way, it was my fault he left each of them. You see this precious prince you all used to know, and love was a wuss. Blistering Winds? Scorching Deserts? Hah, yeah right, I am the one in the knight costume saving their butts, I am constantly finding someone for him, and I am sure Camel, and The Ugly Green one hate me the most, because I brought one of them home while he was proposing to the Camel.
Anyway you probably think these people are beautiful people, sweet, caring, and I have to say those enhancement pills I bought are the only reason anyone of them own that description. Oh, and don't think you are the only one with my secret, my buddy Tristan is pretty good at keeping secrets, but of course he has a reason too, I said I would sever his "gorgeous" face if he ever said a word. It might help that he owes me big time from when we were little, and he was a slave boy when I actually lived in the palace, and I took pity and helped him escape, if he promised to get me out of the palace, and he failed to. But when he heard I had "committed suicide" he felt guilty and went to find help, and ran into me trying to leave the kingdom.
I am not emotionally insane, I just might have some stress, and jealousy issues. My brother was the crowned prince, and I deserved to rule. So Tristan helped me back into the castle after I was "dead" so I could, well, dispose of my so called brother. Oh no, oh no, oh no, I said Tristan's real name, whoops sorry buddy. It isn't exactly easy to go unknown in a kingdom where you used to live, and where people "dreadfully" mourn you. Hey, what the heck they are so psychotic you could probably tell them they are dreaming. Three people now I am still alive, now so do you, but the question is how long can you keep this secret, and if you can't, well, don't listen to me, but it will become your problem too.
Tristan
Whatever she said it's not true, she dreams it, she's psychotic, completely mental. I may owe her my life but that isn't the problem, yes she killed her brother, yes, yes, , I guess she wasn't lying, and she is a jerk to those princesses just because she didn't have her own prince, like Snow, I mean Hail Black, you know I went with her to get that one to serve them, and nothing is more awkward then pretending your best friend is a guy. I am dead serious, I almost was like, "Yes Princess Harley."
Oh shoot, I mean Ash. HEY! Wait she said my name!
Anyway, she is right, since you continued to hear our story, it means you really don't care about trouble, or something is totally messed up in your head. Anyway we take all freaks, like vampires, werewolves, witches, wizards, faeries, not so many pixies, and just plain mentally freaked out.
Either way, oh, apparently I have to tell my life story.
I was at a slave auction, helping my father sell slaves. I never liked the idea of selling people to work for nothing in return, I knew today would be hard with the king and Char coming to pick out a new slave, after what happened to the other one it was strictly male slaves.
Oh my word Ash, what the freak do you think happened? She wouldn't stop asking for autographs! (I am not saying where though).
So he was looking from boy to boy, and let out a dissatisfied sigh, and then he came up to me. He place two of his fingers gently under my chin, then tilted my head up. "Char, feel of his limbs, are they think or scrawny as a girl, he must be strong, we need a stable boy."
"Father they are fine, but mine are better."
The King rolled his eyes, and looked to my father, "How much for this one?"
"Oh, he will not be taken."
"Oh he won't will he?"
"No my King."
"Five-hundred, there is my price."
I have never seen my father's eyes light up to a bargain so quickly, "Oh but he is a state of the art fellow, certainly double or nothing."
"Double can be arranged."
"Oh did I say double, I meant triple, take it or leave it be."
My father had never referred to me as an, it?
"I will give double it, after the price has been tripled. Just give me the hexed thing."
Oh I guess Ash, you know what I am going to call her Harley, so I guess Harley is self-centered and wants me to skip to the part where she comes in. I really don't want to talk about you, Harley, so just shut-up and get to the point where we are now.
Wow Harley, the whole talk to the hand thing, you know i might just talk to your hand, maybe we can even have a relationship.
Haha I knew that would get your attention.
Hey Harley, yeah we might just want to skip to the part we are at right now, because you know, it's hard to be my totally infuriatingly alluring self when we are being attacked by some mutant dog creature, your stick with all it's magic, just come on we don't need to join in an alliance with that mutt, do something!