Shattered
Penny sat in her car, she was parked close to the HOLLYWOOD sign. This had been one of the places she and Sheldon had found when they needed to be alone. She thought back to that time. They had been making out in her car- the windows steamed, hands in all sorts of inappropriate places and Sheldon moaning like he had just ingested a bowl of Brussel sprouts. Penny burst out laughing when the cop knocked on the window but Sheldon had almost had a coronary. Penny smiled again but it did nothing to hold back the tears. Sheldon was gone. She looked down at her cell phone. One new message- it would be Leonard. She closed the phone; she would worry about it later.
Penny looked down at her hands, looking at the finger where her engagement ring should be. It was currently on a chain around her neck. She convinced Leonard that she wore it like that since she didn't want it getting lost or dirty while she was at work.
Convincing Leonard about that had been a snap compared to what she went through after he found her in Sheldon's bed. She thought back to the morning , after crying herself to sleep in Sheldon's room. She had looked for the ring but it was gone. She remembered how she smiled, thinking she would never have to look at it again but, as she walked out of Sheldon's room, she saw Leonard. He smiled when he saw her, walked over to her and lightly kissed her cheek,.
"Have you lost something, Penny?" She saw he had her ring in his hand.
" Why were you in there?" Leonard continued in the same calm voice which frightened her more than if he been screaming.
"I don't know ….curiosity? No one is ever allowed in there" she finally offered. Leonard had given her a scathing look then proceeded to tell her that the engagement was off, that, clearly, Penny was harbouring feelings that were more than platonic toward Sheldon.
"Leonard…" tears welled in her eyes. She couldn't lose them both. Right now, Leonard, this apartment were the only link to Sheldon she had. What if Sheldon came back and she was no longer here?
"Don't "Leonard" me". He continued. " I've been blind, ignoring what's been going on between you two".
"What's that supposed to mean?" Penny snapped. Turn the tables, Penny. Leonard's an easy sway. She had done it a million times. "What exactly have you been ignoring? Laundry ? HALO?. All things that Sheldon, you and I have been doing together for years".
Leonard began tugging at his sweatshirts; Penny could smell the victory.
"I miss Sheldon". She admitted. "Only because he was my friend and this is a special time in our lives and he's not here with all his craziness that is oddly endearing. Besides, I thought he would keep us organized with our plans".
"That's the only reason you miss him?" Leonard looked at her over his glasses. Penny swayed over to him and took his face in her hands. She kissed Leonard, wrapping her arms around him.
"Whose ring am I wearing?" she teased.
"Mine". Leonard whispered and slipped it back on her finger. Penny sighed as she pressed her lips to his once more. A momentary stay of execution.
As she drove home, she could not help but think how she had dug herself into this pit of sorrow. She had started going out with Leonard again, in no small part because she was sick of his asking.! She never expected it to go this far. She always thought they were taking things slowly. They went out once a week; they had sex (kind of) once or twice at weekends. But like before, she and Leonard had never been in the same place. Their relationship did not light her on fire but Penny knew she had a good man who cared for her and Leonard was very happy.
Then Sheldon happened The change in their relationship surprise them both. It seemed the dam had broken with that one trip to the doughnut shop. It was wrong and irresponsible of both of them but she knew she could never give him up. Sex with Sheldon was always spontaneous. Full of passion and love, stolen moments in the laundry room. Or when Leonard would go out for pizza.
Her hunger for him had almost betrayed them once when Leonard woke up earlier than usual on a Sunday. Sheldon, with his Vulcan hearing, picked up on the movements in Leonard's room. They had just enough time for Penny to pull up her sweatpants and Sheldon to wipe the sheen of her off his lips when Leonard came into the living room. Thankfully Leonard didn't pick up on her snaky comment about the crossword and Sheldon going down. Or did he?
Sex with Leonard was always planned by him. For her part, it was always cold clinical, without love, without feeling. She would lay there making the right sounds as required easily satisfying Leonard.
Sheldon had told her time and time again, and she agreed to end it with Leonard, but it was always "I'll do it tonight". Then Leonard would say "I love you Penny" and she could not break up with him.
Penny flipped her blinker and continued her reflecting while she waited for the light to change. Sheldon was gone. He'd left without so much as a backward glance. Her fingers touched the ring at her neck. Leonard was here. Leonard was willing to commit to Penny despite his doubts (could she really fault him for those?)
There was only one path to take.
As Penny drove back to the apartment, she know she had to follow though with her decision.
She had tried to ring Missy and Mary, but the Cooper family had closed ranks. So be it! If she could not have the man she loved , she would have the man who loved her.
…
Leonard sat in his lab at Caltech and smiled. Life was good. Just for once things were going his way. He had his job and he now no longer had to live under the shadow of 'Doctor Sheldon Cooper PhD' but the most important thing was he had Penny. He had Penny. He thought back to the morning he had found Penny in Sheldon's room asleep.
Her (his) engagement ring (damn it) on the side table. He had picked it up, knowing he was going to break it off with Penny.
But then the door to Leonard's very own hell opened, his own little hell in the back of his mind where all of his doubts, all of his feelings of uncertainty hid and belonged. It opened just enough for Leonard to reconsider ending the engagement. Penny had made her bed and now he could make her lie in it. He heard Penny wake up and smiled.
He was still lost in thought when his phone rang,. A happy smiling sexy voice said "hi Leonard I was just thinking about you", sex almost flowed out of the phone. "Will you be home soon".
Leonard sat on the bed in a daze, Penny had almost jumped on him as he walked in the door. All but dragging him to the bedroom. He was trying to think just what was going on. Penny looked at Leonard from the bedroom door. She smiled- she may not have a high IQ but the bedroom was her area of expertise. She walked up to Leonard and sat on his lap but as she looked into his eyes they were not the eyes of a man who had just had sex. They were the eyes of a man with doubts, lots of doubts. She summoned all of her acting skills learned from hours of useless expensive lessons
"Leonard, why do you have that expression on your face? You just rocked my world." Oh crap, Too far. Leonard's lips were pursed. Even he wasn't that confident in his abilities. He looked at Penny
"Move off me, please I need to think some things out . I'll not be long". Penny watched him leave and began picking at her cuticle. Leonard was a cuddler; he enjoyed the bonding after sex and would talk to Penny about their future. He never left her in the bed. That was such a Sheldon thing to do.
XXXX
Leonard made his way down to the mailboxes. He had no idea why he had just walked out but something was wrong. He couldn't put his finger on it; but he could not play this game, anymore. He opened the mailbox for 4A. Inside were bills all address to Leonard Hofstader. It was like Sheldon had disappeared or never existed. Not one piece of mail with his name ever found its way into the box since his departure.
Leonard missed Sheldon- his closest friend and closest rival. He folded his Applied Physics magazine around the envelopes and a small card fell to the floor. Thinking it was an insert from the magazine, Leonard picked it up.
It was a postcard with a picture of the Olympic Park in Munich.
Leonard flipped it over but there was no writing on the back save for his address and Leonard knew that writing anywhere. Leonard glanced up at the ceiling thinking of the woman he had once loved with an all-consuming passion, now sitting in his apartment. She had changed. He had changed and Sheldon? Sheldon had been demolished by it all.
As he walked back to the apartment, he slipped the postcard into his pocket. He would think about that later. For now he was thinking of a way to break up with Penny.
….
If someone had asked Sheldon (anyone who did not know him) why he hated airports, he would have pointed to where he was standing. He was in a sea of people, people who had no concept of personal space. He pulled his bag closer to his chest.
His hand went to his pocket, and he rubbed his thumb over the small box. Inside was Meemaw's ring, Sheldon sighed. He seemed to sigh a lot of late. A voice next to him pulled him back from his nice new dark world, brought on by Leonard's victory and Penny's betrayal of both him and his roommate.
"Mr Cooper? So pleased to meet you at last".
Sheldon slowly turned" That is Doctor Cooper PhD and your late".
The man seemed to be looking for a hole to climb into.
"Sorry the flight was late and…"
Sheldon was looking at him trying to make his head blow up.
"This way to the car Doctor Cooper please". As the car pulled away, Sheldon was deep in thought again, wondering if his postcard had arrived. Had Leonard shown it to Penny? Would she know who the postcard was from. Would she care?. The sound of the driver's voice broke Sheldon from his thoughts " Are you here long ,Doctor Cooper"
"Indefinitely." was the physicist's quiet reply.
XXXX
Penny sat in her own apartment, trying to work out what had gone wrong. When Leonard had walked back into the apartment, she had been all set. She had made herself cry so her eyes were red, her makeup and hair were messed up. She looked pitiful which always worked on Leonard. But this was a new Leonard she was looking at.
"Penny I'm sorry but I think we need to cool things off a little. Have time to think". Penny stood up and walked up to Leonard, their faces almost touching
"Are you sure, Leonard?" Her arms moved around his neck. This never failed, but Leonard pushed her aside. He couldn't shake the memory of Sheldon telling him so many years ago not to talk to her, of the havoc she would wreak. As always, he'd been right.
"No Penny, we're done",
The door closed behind Leonard, leaving Penny completely alone.
The end