Alrighty, those of you in bootcamp with me will recognize this piece! This
was our first challenge, which was to write a description of our favorite
character and what can I say but that my mind works in twisted ways. This
is incorporating the last of the critiques I received on it, and I took out
one major part, the description of the voices at the end. But really, I
like it without any reference but the words on the page, it gives it the
cold clinical feel I was going for. Anywho, I might have screwed it up, I
might have made it better. Be sure and tell me in reviews :D
Oh, and you might notice the date (because someone suggested I add one) I chose that for a reason, in light of our second assignment, which was supposed to be a Valentine's day centered thing. While I decided to not do a sequel for the assignment, I think I might write it anyway for fun and add it in here.
Thanks for letting me ramble. I'm not intending to infringe copyright, I make no money whatsoever from this and I have nothing but thanks and praise to those who initially invented these characters.
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The tape recorder whirled to life.
"The time is 13:49, Feb 15, 2004
"We have a Caucasian Jane Doe, approximately five foot seven, weighing one hundred and thirty five pounds, aw hell, I can never remember the conversions, I'll look it up later. Free of tattoos, notable scar on her abdomen, from previous surgery presumably, judging by the placement and clean healing. Head is very damaged from apparent small caliber gunshot wound, entry at the rear Sagittal suture, exit at the lower mandible, showing she was shot in the back. Hair: red, eye color appears to be blue, but it is difficult to determine due to injury. Dentition heavily damaged from wound. Damn shame. She used to be a looker I think, before the added ventilation.
"Ears are pierced. Diamond stud is visible in remaining ear making robbery an unlikely motive. No other piercings visible. Wearing an unusual looking watch when she arrived, it looked like some sort of cell phone watch. Believe you me, I'm going to be playing with that next, hopefully it will have some games on it.
"Anyway, she was also heavily armed with some pretty unusual weapons. Who freaking carries ninja stars? Quality of clothing and nutrition though lead me away from thinking this was a gang slaying, though it is possible she's a dealer. If she is, she appears to be clean, no tracks or burns on the fingers and the nose from what I can tell doesn't seem to be previously trashed. One ring present, a claddaugh, worn on left ring finger. Now what was the rule with those damn rings? Hell, I don't know, but someone should find out. She might have a husband or boyfriend, or even girlfriend out there looking for her.
"Upon closer examination, no defensive wounds noted on her hands. If she knew how to use the arsenal she carried, she must have been taken by surprise; I highly doubt that she would have allowed herself to be shot without a fight.
"Nothing else to note on visual examination, so onto the fun stuff.
"Brain weighs approximately 800g, heavily damaged and weight attributable to damage sustained. No other abnormalities noted, though it would be difficult to determine if any existed with the wound.
"Heart weighs 257g, appears normal and in great shape. I would estimate her to be in her thirties perhaps, but her heart certainly doesn't show it.
"Right lung 569g, appearing normal, left lung 560g, appearing normal. On biopsy, there is a fair amount of debris in the alveoli, leading me to believe there was a fire before she was shot. No apparent heat damage so likely was not inside the fire.
"Liver, 1247g appearing normal. Not in as great of shape as her heart. Obviously she had a fondness for alcohol along with cardiovascular health. Not enough to suggest alcoholism though.
"Spleen missing. Probably removed during surgery for aforementioned scar.
"Stomach contents appear to be, Ooo, I think she had the Surf n Turf. We have filet mignon, lobster and asparagus! She must have been killed shortly after dinner; the food is barely digested. I must say she at least had one hell of a nice final meal.
"Intestines, ugh, I hate this part. They keep trying to slip away from me. Damn things. Stay in the freaking scale! Alright, intestines, 1843g, appearing normal.
"Left Kidney, 135g, normal, right kidney 137g, normal. Go figure. She's in great shape. Too bad she was DOA and no hope for transplanting.
"Uterus, 197g, normal. Upon examination, does not appear to have ever been pregnant. Fallopian tubes and ovaries all appear normal and healthy.
"Such a shame really. I mean, beautiful woman, executed on the street. What is this world coming to? Onto the pancreas - weight.Hey! You can't come in here."
"Yes we can. We have the authorization."
"Don't touch that body, I'm not done with the autopsy! You can't take her until I release her!"
"Take it up with the president buddy. She's one of ours. Now, either you can put her back together or our doc can; your choice." There was a pause, "Is that mic on?"
"Of course it is. What kind of outfit do you think I run?"
"Go get the tape Stalker. Jaye, get all the notes and belongings. Doc, make sure we get - well.get everything. Nothing left behind, you understand me?"
"Don't worry Scarlett, we're here, sister, and we're going to take you home."
End tape.
Oh, and you might notice the date (because someone suggested I add one) I chose that for a reason, in light of our second assignment, which was supposed to be a Valentine's day centered thing. While I decided to not do a sequel for the assignment, I think I might write it anyway for fun and add it in here.
Thanks for letting me ramble. I'm not intending to infringe copyright, I make no money whatsoever from this and I have nothing but thanks and praise to those who initially invented these characters.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ===================================
The tape recorder whirled to life.
"The time is 13:49, Feb 15, 2004
"We have a Caucasian Jane Doe, approximately five foot seven, weighing one hundred and thirty five pounds, aw hell, I can never remember the conversions, I'll look it up later. Free of tattoos, notable scar on her abdomen, from previous surgery presumably, judging by the placement and clean healing. Head is very damaged from apparent small caliber gunshot wound, entry at the rear Sagittal suture, exit at the lower mandible, showing she was shot in the back. Hair: red, eye color appears to be blue, but it is difficult to determine due to injury. Dentition heavily damaged from wound. Damn shame. She used to be a looker I think, before the added ventilation.
"Ears are pierced. Diamond stud is visible in remaining ear making robbery an unlikely motive. No other piercings visible. Wearing an unusual looking watch when she arrived, it looked like some sort of cell phone watch. Believe you me, I'm going to be playing with that next, hopefully it will have some games on it.
"Anyway, she was also heavily armed with some pretty unusual weapons. Who freaking carries ninja stars? Quality of clothing and nutrition though lead me away from thinking this was a gang slaying, though it is possible she's a dealer. If she is, she appears to be clean, no tracks or burns on the fingers and the nose from what I can tell doesn't seem to be previously trashed. One ring present, a claddaugh, worn on left ring finger. Now what was the rule with those damn rings? Hell, I don't know, but someone should find out. She might have a husband or boyfriend, or even girlfriend out there looking for her.
"Upon closer examination, no defensive wounds noted on her hands. If she knew how to use the arsenal she carried, she must have been taken by surprise; I highly doubt that she would have allowed herself to be shot without a fight.
"Nothing else to note on visual examination, so onto the fun stuff.
"Brain weighs approximately 800g, heavily damaged and weight attributable to damage sustained. No other abnormalities noted, though it would be difficult to determine if any existed with the wound.
"Heart weighs 257g, appears normal and in great shape. I would estimate her to be in her thirties perhaps, but her heart certainly doesn't show it.
"Right lung 569g, appearing normal, left lung 560g, appearing normal. On biopsy, there is a fair amount of debris in the alveoli, leading me to believe there was a fire before she was shot. No apparent heat damage so likely was not inside the fire.
"Liver, 1247g appearing normal. Not in as great of shape as her heart. Obviously she had a fondness for alcohol along with cardiovascular health. Not enough to suggest alcoholism though.
"Spleen missing. Probably removed during surgery for aforementioned scar.
"Stomach contents appear to be, Ooo, I think she had the Surf n Turf. We have filet mignon, lobster and asparagus! She must have been killed shortly after dinner; the food is barely digested. I must say she at least had one hell of a nice final meal.
"Intestines, ugh, I hate this part. They keep trying to slip away from me. Damn things. Stay in the freaking scale! Alright, intestines, 1843g, appearing normal.
"Left Kidney, 135g, normal, right kidney 137g, normal. Go figure. She's in great shape. Too bad she was DOA and no hope for transplanting.
"Uterus, 197g, normal. Upon examination, does not appear to have ever been pregnant. Fallopian tubes and ovaries all appear normal and healthy.
"Such a shame really. I mean, beautiful woman, executed on the street. What is this world coming to? Onto the pancreas - weight.Hey! You can't come in here."
"Yes we can. We have the authorization."
"Don't touch that body, I'm not done with the autopsy! You can't take her until I release her!"
"Take it up with the president buddy. She's one of ours. Now, either you can put her back together or our doc can; your choice." There was a pause, "Is that mic on?"
"Of course it is. What kind of outfit do you think I run?"
"Go get the tape Stalker. Jaye, get all the notes and belongings. Doc, make sure we get - well.get everything. Nothing left behind, you understand me?"
"Don't worry Scarlett, we're here, sister, and we're going to take you home."
End tape.