Ch. 1- Meet the Heartbreaker
Hate is a strong word,
but I really, really, really don't like you.
Now that it's over
I don't even know what I liked about you.
Brought you around,
and you just brought me down.
Hate is a strong word,
but I really, really, really, really, really don't like you.
Hate (I Really Don't Like You)- Plain White T's
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"You know what, I was wrong about you- you're not just a conniving bitch." He said a calm fury in his words. "You're a heartbreaker and that's all you'll ever be. You wouldn't know how to love if someone was ever stupid enough to try and teach you." And with that he turned on his heel and walked away. Funny, I thought that it would me walking away from him.
Confused? I bet. Well, I suppose for you to understand why anyone would say something as venomous and cold as that I have to start at the beginning. Although I deserved everything I got, I will say, in my defense, that I was just trying to get my point across. Okay, so maybe I didn't choose the best way to do it, but talking was getting me nowhere. Besides, actions speak louder than words, right?
Anyways, I'll go back to the very beginning with what, in my opinion, was the catalyst for everything that followed. This is my story and therefore there will be times when I'm biased, but for the most part I will do my best to stick to what I experienced.
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"Look, Addi, I'm not sure this is working for me anymore. I just don't think we have that spark anymore, ya know?" Roger said giving me a serious look.
I was honestly speechless- which doesn't happen very often. After a year of dating and that was the best excuse he could come up with? What did he take me for, a bloody wanker?
"So, that's it, then? Just all of a sudden I'm not good enough for you anymore?" I asked anger beginning to fill my voice. "Could you at least try to be a man for five minutes and tell what's really going on? Roger, we've been dating for a year now, I'm sure we can work through any issues we have."
"It's not you, it's me. I just can't…do this. I've changed and I'm growing, just like you. I feel that we have grown apart in the last few months and that it would be best for us to take a break." He said, delicately.
"Great, just bloody fantastic!" I shot back at him. With that I turned on my heel and left.
I stormed back up to my common room and that's when my temper really took over. I started throwing things across the room and shoving things off the tables. I didn't notice anyone else in the room until I almost took him out with a particular heavy book.
"Oi, Pogue, watch it!" Sirius Black, womanizer and idiot extraordinaire, said irritably.
"Watch yourself, Black." I snarled.
Okay, so it wasn't his fault that Roger had broken up with me, but I could blame him couldn't I? It wasn't like he had actually had feelings. I mean, this was Sirius bloody Black for Merlin's sake. He went through girls like people go through floo powder. He had to be one of the most irritating and infuriating human beings I'd ever had the misfortune of meeting.
"What's got your knickers in a twist?" He said sourly. "Did some poor bloke glance at you the wrong way?"
"I don't have to justify my temper to you!" I replied indignantly. "And besides, you the only one I ever hex for a reason as trivial as that."
"Well, look, try not to kill me- I actually matter to this school." He said rolling his eyes.
"Oh, grow up, would ya, Black?" I said turning to go upstairs. Honestly, he acted like a first year.
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"So, Roger just dumped you, no warning, no nothing?" Zoey said, lounging on her bed. It was later that day and everyone had already gone down to dinner.
"Yeah, just out of the blue," I said, pacing in front of her. "Oh Merlin, you don't think he was cheating on me do you?"
"Well, it was either that or he's into blokes. And Roger is about as straight as straight can be, so I think it's probably the former." She replied, sadly.
"How could I have not seen this?" I moaned, falling backwards onto my bed. "It was over a year!"
"I know, Addi, I know." She said, softly. "If only there was some way to get the bloody bastard back."
"Well, I better get started on my homework. Merlin knows that I'm going to be up all night doing it."
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There was history between Sirius and I. That was where our mutual dislike for one another came from. I knew him when he was younger and quite frankly I liked him better as an eight year old than I did as a seventeen year old. Probably because he was more mature back then.
Our families were, well, I guess you couldn't call them friends, but they were on good terms. They had respect for one another. But while both of our parents were pure blood fanatics and avid supporters of Voldemort, my family wasn't quite as outspoken as the Blacks. My family hated anything that wasn't of pureblood origin, but at least they didn't disown me for being a Gryffindor and consorting with muggle borns. They usually just pretended that I wasn't the embarrassment of the family and everyone else knew better than to mess with my father. From what I heard, through the grape vine, Sirius' parents had not only disowned him, they had gone to lengths to make sure everyone who was pureblood knew they hated their son- and all because of who he was friends with.
Anyways, my family was deemed good enough to be talked to by the Ancient and Most Noble family of Black. So, when I was younger I had a lot of interaction with Sirius. We weren't friends, per say, but we did get along well enough. Not until we were about eight or nine though. Before that, Sirius was a pureblooded fanatic just like his parents and, well, I wasn't. So when we had functions that required us to be in each other's presence I usually tried to avoid him.
Which was hard because I couldn't exactly hide- that was rude. And when you're brought up in a pureblooded family you have to observe certain rules. Such as, I knew the proper etiquette of being a guest in someone else's home by the time I was five. I knew how dance respectably by the time I was seven. That is, waltzes, tangos, gavottes, and the like. And of course I was usually paired up with Sirius because he was my age and he could dance as I well as I could. That's not to say that I never had other partners, but I think our parents were trying to get us "together".
While muggles went to primary school, Sirius and I had tutors. Not for the ridiculous muggle subjects like science and math, no we had a tutor for etiquette, obviously, one for dancing, one for the history of the purebloods, and one for pre-Hogwarts studies, such as introductory potions, charms, and dark arts. Not defense against the dark arts, though; we learned about why they were useful. We had lessons in the morning and in the afternoons we were free to do as we pleased.
I'm not sure exactly what happened, but the summer we were eight Sirius told me that he wasn't a pureblooded fanatic anymore. Just out the blue. Which was surprising seeing as he used to pride himself on the fact that he was superior to everyone else just because of his blood. I always thought that was ridiculous, but I knew better than to say anything outside the privacy of my house. But I did tell Sirius, because back then we didn't hate each other. Like I said, we weren't really friends, but we were the odd balls of our families and that almost automatically brought us together.
Then we came to Hogwarts. My family, like the Blacks, had all pretty much been in Slytherin, with just one or two others in Ravenclaw. But no Gryffindors- I was the first to do that. Which is another thing Sirius and I have in common. My brother had followed the coarse of my family, being a Slytherin and then training to become a death eater. My older sister hadn't been in Slytherin, though, and my parents hadn't been too hard on her. Of course, she was in Ravenclaw and that house wasn't archenemies with Slytherin.
My parents were disappointed and my dad shouted a lot, but that was about all. Once they accepted that I was never going to be like them, they just kind of left it alone. My parents and I didn't get along great, but at least it was better than Sirius'. His mum sent him a howler the very next day at breakfast, screeching about he was a disgrace to the family, worthless, lower than mudbloods- her words, not mine- and that she had never been so ashamed. Her own son, in Gryffindor- how could he. I never liked Mrs. Black, she was too set in her ways and thought that everyone was beneath her.
From then on, Sirius got at least three howlers a week. They always scolded him on how he was a disgrace and he hung around with riff raff and why couldn't he be more like his brother, Regulus, who was two years our junior. I kind of felt bad for him, at first, but then as the years wore on he just became this arrogant prick to me. Why should I feel bad for him, he had no feelings.
Which brings me to why we hate each other now. First year wasn't bad, we actually had a tentative friendship. Like I said, we had so much history between us from the world we had come from that it was hard for us not to kind of stick together. We had things in common- being the black sheep of our families, being sorted into Gryffindor when we were expected to be in Slytherin, and our views on the pureblooded issue.
But there was also the fact that we were the only ones in our house that knew what really went on in the psychotic world that we had been brought up in. Oh sure, there were other pureblooded families in Gryffindor, like the Potters and the Prewitts, but they were not deemed to be as superior as our families were. After all, they were muggle-loving, blood traitors. Sirius and I knew a different world, one that we shared, and I guarantee that if we were forced to go to another function at the expense of our families, our hands would still know each other and we could step in perfect rhythm to the dances that we were forced to learn so long ago. I guess it was comforting to know that there was always someone to turn to and know that they understood what it was like.
Fortunately, I have not been forced to go to anything since I was fifteen. And Sirius ran away from home the year after that. By then, he had proven himself to be a notorious womanizer, playboy, and idiot extraordinaire. His ego started to inflate around third year and it was just all down hill from there. He had no regard for me anymore or the fact that we were on the same side. I think in his desperate desire to escape the world we came from, he lumped me with all the other people he hated. And I resented that a lot- who was he to think that I was like them? Hadn't I been there for him when we younger, to keep his secrets for him? Hadn't we stuck together for the mere fact that we alone knew the other's pain? But if he wanted to think I was a bloody pureblood fanatic, then fine, don't expect me to be on good terms with him.
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We had been almost half way through the term when Roger broke up with me. I moped around for a few weeks, but then I realized that he wasn't pining over me. In fact, the very next day I found him all but having sex with some girl in the Great Hall. I pretended not to even notice and sat down with Zoey. It got back to me that he had started seeing this other girl over the summer.
"About time you got over that poor excuse for a human being," Zoey said one morning when I came down in a much better mood than I had been in. "Well, let's get going, Transfiguration, mustn't be late!" She added, all but dragging me out of the Common Room.
She didn't care about being on time, she cared about the fact that we had assigned partners and that one Remus Lupin was hers. She almost died of happiness when she found out. I got assigned to James Potter and at first I was completely against it. He was Sirius' twin in everything and one Sirius was bad enough. But, as time wore on we struck up a tentative truce and now I'd even venture far enough to say that we are friends.
"Hey, how are ya?" James asked sitting down next to me.
"Good," I said, with a slight shrug.
"Is that good as in I'm-just-saying-this-because-I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it, or good as is yes-fine-and-how-are-you?" He asked suspiciously and I laughed.
"The second one, Mr. Potter," I replied shaking my head.
"So you've finally stopped giving that Ravenclaw piece of shit the time of day, eh? Good for you, Adira, good for you." He said patting me on the back.
"James, how many times do I have to tell you- you can call me Addi. In fact I prefer it," I said rolling my eyes at my full name. Adira was nice and all, but way to stiff and formal for me.
"Yes, but I like your name, even if you don't," He said matter of factly. "And besides, I have to annoy you somehow, don't I?"
I just laughed at him and pulled out my books. To think, I didn't even talk to James two months ago and now here I was spilling my heart out to him- only because he found me crying in the Common Room one night- and the like. James was the brother I never had and I was glad to have a friend like him. There were things he seemed to understand better than even Zoey and I knew that I could always talk to him about anything.
The one sticking point we had was Sirius. James insisted that he wasn't a bad guy and had nothing against me, but I begged to differ. He had ignored me in school and when we had been forced to go to functions he just sneered at me and acted like he was better, superior.
"So, did you do the Runes homework?" He asked looking over some DADA notes.
"Most of it- I still have a few translations left." I replied looking over Transfiguration material. "Did you do Potions?"
"Did I do Potions? No- I copied Potions," He said with a grin. "What d'ya say, swap at lunch?"
"Sounds good to me."
James and I had a system worked out. I would do a subject and he would do a subject and then we would swap and copy. If a teacher got suspicious we would just say we studied together and that's why the papers looked so similar. I usually did Ancient Runes and Charms, while James took care of Transfiguration and DADA. One of us usually got the Potions, History of Magic, and Astronomy homework from other people and copied it to give to the other. James was the whole reason I was even passing Transfiguration- I honestly don't know how I got into the NEWT level.
"Alright, today you shall be transfiguring a part of your body and your partners," McGonagall said walking into the room. "I don't care what part, so long as it's appropriate- this will be leading into transfiguring the entire body into something else. And then we will be doing some work on animagus."
We spent the rest of class practicing. James, of course, got it on his first try, but I was a little bit slower. I was never good at this super advanced stuff, but I always tried. And James was patient, he walked me through every step.
"Okay, so I'll see you at lunch and we'll pull a switch," James said as we packed up to leave. "I might be a tad late, you know, coming from north tower and all."
"Honestly, James, why are you taking that class?" I asked shaking my head. "It really is a waste of time."
"I'll tell you why- it's easy and I catch up on my sleep," He said seriously. I just laughed at him. "See you at lunch, Addi."
"Bye James."
I walked into the Muggle Studies classroom and took up my usual seat. I like the back in this class- not that it was boring, just that I knew a lot of it already from Zoey. As my luck would have it, though, Sirius Black decided to grace me with his presence. I stifled a groan as he sat down next to me.
"Pogue," He said acknowledging me.
"Black," I replied in the same flat tone.
"Look, just so we're straight, I don't hate you, just your family," He blurted out, not looking at me.
"What, did James put you up to this?" I asked and he just sat there. "That would be a yes. Look, Black, I don't need nor do I want a forced apology from you."
"Why can't you just accept it so James will get off my back about it," He asked shortly. "I really don't have a problem with you- except for when you have a problem with me."
"What are you talking about?" I asked confused. "I never had a problem with you until your ego became the size of the castle. You were the one who started ignoring me, if I remember correctly."
"Well, I really had no reason to talk to you, now did I?" He said coldly. "We don't really have anything in common. You are still living with your parents, aren't you?"
"Nothing in common? Are you bloody mental?" I asked incredulously. "We have much more in common than you think, Black. We're both outcasts in our families- yes, I am too, even if I still live there. We're both Gryffindors, where as almost all of our families have been Slytherins. And, here's the big one- we both have denounced the pure blood fanaticism that our families embrace so dearly."
"Well, let's just leave it at I don't hate you, just your family," He said after a second, clearly uncomfortable.
"I'm not looking for a fake apology from you, but it's the thought that counts right?" I said sarcastically. I didn't talk to the arrogant berk for the rest of the period.
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Later that night Zoey and I were up in the dorm, pretending to do homework, but really bashing on people that pissed us off that day.
"Stupid Black, the nerve of him!" I exclaimed, having already explained the situation to her. "Honestly, could he be anymore of a prick?"
"Well, Addi, this is Sirius Black we're talking about. What did you expect? A grand, heartfelt apology that was filled with remorse and deep-seeded regret?" She asked shaking her head. "He isn't that deep. We both know that."
I just nodded. I usually didn't get this worked up over anything that waste of space said, but just the fact that he thought he could win me over with a fake apology was mind-boggling. If only there was some way I could make him see that the world doesn't revolve around him and his fat head. But how could I do that?
"Addi," Zoey said all of a sudden, a gleam in her eyes. "I have a brilliant beyond brilliant plan."
"Concerning what exactly?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"On how to get Roger back- and put Sirius in his place," She replied her grin widening. I could just see the cogs turning in her head.
"Alright, let's have it then."
"You could start dating Sirius and then humiliate him in front of the whole school. No, hear me out!" She exclaimed as I opened my mouth to protest. "We can get the information we need from James and Remus, and besides you two came from the same background, so you have a lot of the information already.
"First you have to get him interested, which means you have to get him to notice you as something other than an enemy." She continued. "So, over the next couple of weeks we can develop what you will and will not tell him and what we may have to make up. Once we have that, we'll clean you up to become the girl of his dreams and everything will be put in motion.
"Then, after he's fallen completely for you, you can start making him change things about him. And he'll do it because he's just so smitten with you. Then, towards the end of the year, you'll make a public and very humiliating break up with him and ruin him. It would be a lesson for every one in the dating game."
"Are you completely mental?" I asked just looking at her. "You're forgetting a very important detail- I could never pull something like this off! Sirius hates me, remember?"
"That's why we're going to change you- so he doesn't hate you anymore," She replied. "Look, you said it yourself, Sirius Black has no feelings. He just uses girls because they let him. And then they cry their hearts out. While it is their fault that they got their hearts broken, he still shouldn't do it just for the sake of doing it."
"I agree with you, but why must I be the one who executes this plan?" I asked sighing.
"Cause if you're dating Sirius Black, Roger will completely regret dumping you. If you're dating Sirius Black that means you're a person to be desired and therefore every guy will be jealous that they didn't get you before Sirius." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "This is your chance to get back at Roger and Sirius at the same time!"
"Where the bloody hell do you come up with this rubbish?" I asked incredulously.
"Admit it, it's a good plan and you could pull it off." She said rolling her eyes at my reaction. "You don't believe in love and all of that other rubbish, right?"
It was true- I had a very cynical out look on love. My parents had an arranged marriage and while they worked together as man and wife, I don't think they ever truly loved each other. In fact, almost half of the pure blood marriages were arranged and I had never seen my parents show true passion or love for one another. In almost every relationship in my family and those associated with my family there was little to no real passion or love involved. The marriages were merely business opportunities for families, it didn't matter how the couple felt. It was a tradition I was expected to follow, but I planned to be long gone from my parents' world by then.
I had been trying to break out of my cynical ways with love by dating Roger, but that had just turned out to reinforce my views. How could love exist when people were forced to marry and people cheated? It just didn't seem possible to me that love was real after all that I had seen.
"Yeah, 'cause I would ever fall for Sirius Black," I scoffed. "Even if I did believe in love and all that rubbish that would and could never happen."
"And that is why you are perfect for this." She said barely containing herself. "You have enough vengeance and enough wits about you to pull it off. What do you say?"
I thought about it- it could be kind of fun. I mean, Zoey was right, it was killing two birds with one stone. And while I felt bad for making a fool out anyone, this was Sirius. He did deserve to get a taste of his own medicine and wasn't I always ranting on about how someone needed to teach him a lesson?
"Alright, I'm in."
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A/N: hey, I'm back! I know, I know, this isn't the sequel to Sunshine (for those of you who read that fic), but this story has been burning a hole in my mind for a while now...I'm really enjoying writing this, it's fun and way different from Sunshine. I am working on the sequel for Sunshine, but I'm still not quite sure when that will be out, so please be patient, it is coming.
anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this and there is more coming...please review- it might motivate me. hehe :p