Greetings mortals! So I'm really trying to get back into the whole writing thing, and this was in my head and I was like Holidays. I need to contribute. But I'm also an asshole and an angsty teenager, so this happened and I'll apologize now because this is an unbeta'd mess and right now I'm too lazy to even give a fuck. Oh and merry Christmas my aca-mortals, and thanks to all the encouragement and love :)
Also, as a note, I'm going to try and shoot for at least one post a week... Not sure if that's going to happen, but I promise to try, be it a one shot, or story update... if you have any requests, please feel free to PM me or leave it in a review :) Thanks guys!
Dedication: This is for anyone else that's been here before.
I own nothing
December 22, 2012
With a loud bang, the door was slammed and two snow covered giggling figures tumbled into the warm loft. Laughing loudly, the taller one picked up the smaller gave her a quick chaste kiss. Pulling away, the blonde smiled and then proceeded into the living room where she promptly flopped down and was immediately joined by her favorite person. Wrapping her arms around Beca, Aubrey giggled at how the shorter one immediately snuggled into her embrace.
"Oh my gooood Beca!" Aubrey laughed, "I can't believe you just did that!"
"What!" Beca exclaimed indignantly, "That guy was totally checking you out and you're my bae, so he had to be educated on that! Anyway, you know I don't like to share or anything like that and he was an asshole. Oh, and respect. Yea, he should have respected you and not stared at your ass because you're an amazing, sexy, wonderful, beautiful, perfect, most amazing person ever and he shouldn't look at you like a piece of meat."
"Babe," Aubrey chuckled, "You just didn't like someone else looking at my ass. Don't even try and deny that."
"Yup!" Beca smiled, kissing Aubrey's cheek, "I don't like sleezy ass guys looking at your like that. I mean I cant blame them, but I don't have to like it. However, that doesn't mean anything that I said before is any less true though."
"Beca!" Aubrey laughed, trying, but failing to sound serious, "You kicked a guy well over six feet tall in the balls. You could have gotten your ass kicked! And I do NOT want to spend our first Christmas together in the hospital. I'd much rather spend it together, in our little loft, in front of the Christmas tree. With both of us in "
"Weeeeellll, this looks like our loft, doesn't it?" Beca said innocently, "Aaaaaand... as far as I can tell, I'm fine. A little cold, but I've got the best cuddle buddy ever here so that shouldn't be a problem much longer. So I think we should just look at this as a humorous story for later to tell our future kids or whatever."
"Furture kids Beca?" Aubrey smirked, "Pray tell me, who are these future kids and where did they come from?"
"Obviously you carried them," Beca said, as though this should have been totally obvious from the start, "And as to who they are, I don't know. I never bothered to think about that to be honest. I know its a little soon to have the kids talk and all and this is all hypothetical, but whatever. I know I love you and if this were to happen someday all I know is that I'd want at least one kid with you, and I'd want that kid to be whoever he or she wanted to be. Me and you both kind had shitty childhoods because our dads wanted us to be something before we were born and then we were born and it was like 'Surprise! Whatever you thought was gonna happened... well, it ain't so yeah.' And I don't want that for our kid and I'm rambling now so feel free to stop me at any time now."
Looking down at the woman in her arms, Aubrey didn't think it was possible, but at this moment, she knew she just fell even more in love with Beca Mitchell. Holding Beca just a little bit closer to her and giving Beca a small kiss, Aubrey thanked god for sending her possibly the one person on this earth that actually understood her and loved her unconditionally. Letting her fingers run idly through Beca's long brown tresses, Aubrey couldn't believe that it had taken her so long to see the perfect, compassionate, amazing person that was just below her flimsy mask of indifference and snark. Shaking her head, Aubrey took Beca's hand in hers and look right into the deep, swirling, navy eyes that she hoped to wakeup to every morning.
"Never," Aubrey whispered, kissing their interlocked fingers, "I love your rambles, and I love you."
"I love you too baby girl," Beca smiled, "Even if you try to ruin my rep."
"You do that all on your own," Aubrey smirked, "I don't see you denying anything I just said, or you moving away from me. Just admit it Beca. You love cuddles, and you're not really the scary badass everyone thinks you are."
"You're right," Beca shugged, snuggling even closer to Aubrey, "But you know what? Its only for you and I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world."
"I really love you Beca,"
"I really love you too Bree," Beca smiled, closing her eyes, "For forever and ever and a day."
December 23, 2013
Pursing her lips together, Aubrey did her best to keep it together until they got home. In the other room, Beca was pissed out drunk, slamming beers back with Jesse. Hearing their rancorous laughter, Aubrey sighed and tried not to get mad. It was almost Christmas, and Beca was just celebrating with an old friend. She was getting upset over nothing, really. They'd go home soon and everything would be perfect.
At least, that was what she was telling herself.
Gritting her teeth, Aubrey got up and walked over to the door way to the room Jesse and beca were in. Slouching against the frame, Aubrey waited for Beca to notice her and at least include her in the conversation, but it would seem she was waiting in vain. Beca was all but sitting in Jesse's lap with the man unabashedly staring at Beca's cleavage. That alone was enough to get her blood boiling, but it was the fact that Beca didn't seem to give a single fuck about the entire situation that
Taking a deep breath, Aubrey squashed the urge to go over to Beca, sap him and take Beca away. However, doing that would almost assuredly land her in jail, so excuse her for not wanting to spend Christmas in a jail cell. So, since bitch slapping Jesse into the next century wasn't an option, Aubrey opted for the sort-of-kinda-not-really-next-best-but-only-legal thing to a calming breath, Aubrey walked slowly over to Beca and tapped her on her shoulder.
"Hey Beca?" Aubrey asked, "I'm kind of tired. Can we go home soon?"
"Hmm what sure yeah whatever. have fun." Beca said, not even looking up from her conversation, "Any way Jesse, you should have been there! The place was INSAAAAANE! The DJ was in this like-"
Standing up and walking away, Aubrey couldn't take it. Beca had literally completely blew her off and excuse her for thinking that was wrong. Going back into the Kitchen, Aubrey leaned against the refrigerator before sliding down against it. Not giving a single fuck that she was sitting on the kitchen floor, Aubrey let a few tears fall. What was happening to them? Aubrey remembered a time where Beca almost got her ass kicked just because she thought someone was looking at Aubrey funny, and would turn this hilarious shade of red any time someone complimented her.
Nowadays though, shit like that didn't seem to matter to Beca anymore. It seemed like Aubrey didn't even matter to Beca anymore. The other day, Aubrey had openly flirted with their waitress, just trying to get a rise, or anything out of Beca, but all Beca did was eat her burger and talk to her manager. Beca didn't even say anything to Aubrey the whole lunch, but instead just kept talked to her manager about the upcoming concert.
"Hey, you alright Bree?"
Whipping her head up, Aubrey hurridly wiped her tears away and plastered on a fake smile.
"What? Oh no, I'm fine Chlo," Aubrey smiled, in a feeble attempt to cover up the pain.
"Oh come on Bree!" Chloe sighed, sitting down next to Aubrey, "How long have we known each other?"
"A lot longer then I'd care to admit," Aubrey sighed, running her fingers through her hair.
"Exactly. And you should know by now you can't hide anything from the ginja ninja!' Chleo said, referencing one of their little inside jokes, "So now you're either going to spill or I'm gonna go into ninja mode, and I'm a little drunk right now so you KNOW that won't end up well."
"Dear lord, please don't." Aubrey deadpanned, "I so don't want to have to bail your aca-ass out of jail again! Especially not this close to Christmas."
"Then spill Bree!" Chloe said, "Because honestly, I don't feel like spending Christmas in jail either, but I know I'm drunk enough to do some stupid shit right now!"
Sighing, Aubrey just let her head thump against the refrigerator. Where did she even start with what was wrong right now? Did she start with the fact she was pretty sure that her relationship was falling apart? Or the fact that she was pretty sure Beca was cheating? Or maybe she should start with the fact that she wasn't even sure why she was fighting for Beca anymore.
"I don't even know where to start..." Aubrey said quietly, biting her lip to keep herself from crying anymore "Can you please just hold me right though? I just... I just need to be close to someone or else I think I might fall apart..."
"Of course Bree," Chloe said, wrapping her arms around Aubrey, "We can do that. I don't know what's going on with you and Beca, but I'm here for you, you know that, right? No matter what, I'll always be here for you forever."
"Promise?" Aubrey asked, her voice small and vulnerable.
"I promise," Chloe said, before pulling Aubrey close.
Humming quietly, Chloe ran her fingers through Aubrey's hair, and just held her. Resting her head on Chloe's shoulder, Aubrey shut her eyes and tried to forget her problems in life and just focus on Chloe's fingers in her hair and song she was humming.
Present day- Atlanta, Georgia
"Babe?" Chloe asked, "What's up?"
"Hmm?" Aubrey said, snapping out of her reverie.
"I was asking what's up babe,' Chloe said, walking up behind Aubrey and wrapping her arms around her fiancée. "You were off in your own world again."
"Oh, nothing. Was just thinking back," Aubrey smiled, "It's been a long road to here baby."
"Yeah... I know," Chloe said, placing a gentle kiss on Aubrey's cheek, "But I wouldn't trade it for anything else the world."
"Really?" Aubrey asked, leaning into the embrace.
"Really." Chloe said, smiling, "Now come on. Let's go to the sofa and cuddle."
"Yeah, okay," Aubrey replied, distracted.
Walking over to the sofa and into Chloe's arms, Aubrey snuggled in, but had an odd feeling of deja vu. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen soon. Shaking her head slightly, Aubrey tried to push those thoughts to the back of her mind. Just because she had one bad relationship didn't mean that she wouldn't eventually find the one, right? And she was happy with Chloe. Everything was perfect right now. Plus, it was Chloe. Chloe was freaking happiness and sunshine personified. She cried the one time Aubrey killed a spider. Chloe was safe to love. Chloe wouldn't hurt Aubrey like Beca had.
But Chloe also couldn't make Aubrey FEEL like Beca had.
With Beca, Aubrey felt ALIVE. Beca was like a live wire and even being near her was electrifying. And while Chloe was great, Chloe wasn't Beca. Chloe was safe and dependable, but Beca was wild, unpredictable, and adventures. Beca was like a thunderstorm, all chaotic energy, with no rhyme or reason. She was terrifying and beautiful, and flawed in all of the right ways. She was a bad girl, and she was everything Aubrey had ever wanted.
Gritting her teeth, Aubrey forced herself to stop thinking about Beca. Fuck Beca. Beca had chosen Jesse over her. Beca had chosen a safe love too, so you know what? Aubrey was going to do the same. Aubrey was going to be loved and never have to worry that maybe someday she'd be thrown away again. Aubrey was going to be happy, god dammit. Beca could go fuck herself. She had Chloe now. Closing her eyes, Aubrey relaxed and let Chloe's warmth and soft breathing lull her to sleep. She was over Beca now, and ready to move on in life.
Letting sleep take her, Aubrey idly wondered if Beca still thought about her.
Present day- Los Angeles, California
Beca sighed and rolled over on her side. Next to her was some random girl she'd picked up at a bar, Tiffany was it? Honestly, she didn't give a shit about what her newest conquest's name was.. The girl was hot and wanted to have sex, and that was enough information for her.
Getting up, Beca stretched a bit before padding over to the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator door, Beca pulled out a half gallon of milk and drank right from the bottle. Aubrey use to hate it when she did that, but hey! Aubrey wasn't here right now, because Beca lived alone in a small shitty ass apartment in downtown LA. But hey, those were just details.
Putting the cap back on the milk, Beca put the jug away before walking over to the window. Looking out at the city sprawled out below her, Beca sighed sadly, for once letting herself feel all the remorse, sadness, loneliness, and hate of that past year. God she was such a fucking idiot. She was going o spend this Christmas alone, or maybe drunk out of her mind at some fucking party instead of curled up in the arms of the most beautiful person in the word, all because she was a fucking god damn insecure stupid retard and ran because she found someone perfect.
Digging her fingernails into her palms, Beca felt hot tars slide down her cheeks. Fucking hell, why did she have to fucking screw Jesse? Why did she run away from the best thing she'd ever found, and probably ever would? Oh, right, because she was a fucking coward. Aubrey was Aubrey. She had everyone thinking she was little miss prim and proper, but Beca knew Aubrey in a way few people did.
Aubrey was a wild card, a caged soul, yearning to be free. She was like a summer storm, peaceful and calm one moment, but then chaotic, spontaneous, and unpredictable, but just as easily as the crazy was unleashed, it could disappear. Aubrey was a lot like Beca actually... Aubrey just actually had manners and self restraint sometimes. But Since Beca knew Aubrey, the truth was, Beca was scared shitless of Aubrey.
Oh sure she loved her with all her heart, but that was the problem. Beca loved Aubrey, and girls like her didn't get girls like Aubrey Posen. Aubrey was, is, beautiful, smart, ambitious, and literally just perfect. Beca was just Beca. Snarky, short, grumpy, angsty Beca. And Beca knew that one day Aubrey would see that and dump her sorry ass, so what does Beca do? She just fucking expedites the damn process because she's a fucking genius like that.
And now she's single, on Christmas eve, with some random whore in her bed, and the love of her life somewhere else, probably curled up in someone else's arms, happy, warm and content. Chuckling quietly to herself, Beca shook her head. Maybe if she hadn't been so god damn stupid Aubrey would still be hers. She'd like to think that at least. She'd like to think that maybe in some alternate universe where she wasn't the world's greatest god damn screw up, she was holding Aubrey right now, whispering in her ear how much she loved her, and how excited she was that they were going to be parents.
But that was all just a dream.
Beca did fuck up and there was no going back now. All but pulling herself from the window, Beca walked back to bed and got under the covers with her fuck of the night. Closing her eyes, Beca tried to let sleep take her. This was her life now, and thinking about the what-if's was just going to kill her. She had to stay in the now, or else she'd drive herself insane.
Looking out the window from her bed, Beca prayed that Aubrey was happy now, before falling into a restless sleep.