I own nothing, but would love to hear what you think!

This picks up a couple of weeks after Robin chooses Kevin over Barney. Everything up to that point happened, but nothing after that…

—-—-Chapter 1—

She was sitting in a booth in the very back of MacLaren's. Behind the wall sticking out were the bathroom was there was a booth half hidden away, were you could sit undisturbed without anybody seeing you.

She would come here whenever she needed some time to herself. When she needed a drink but really didn't want to deal with the rest of the gang. Lately she'd been coming here a lot. None of the others knew. If some of them came in she would just slide into the back of the booth, hiding from view until they left again.

Right now she was nursing a double scotch and peeking around the edge of the booth over to the bar. She frowned as she watched Barney taking a sip of his drink. None of the others were here, and Barney of course thought that he was alone.

Usually when she sat here watching him he would be picking up a girl within two minutes of walking in. She'd lost count of how many times she'd watched him shove his tongue down some girls throat while grabbing her ass. The same exact thing he'd used to do to her. Way back when they were dating.

Ever since that horrible night when he broke up with Nora, and she didn't break up with Kevin, she'd found herself here often.

She would watch him. Watch how he moved, how he smiled, how his eyes brightened up when he laughed, how his mouth wrapped around the edge of his glass.

Unfortunately, watching him also included watching him with other girls. Watching him flirt with them, make out with them, touch them.

Go home with them.

But tonight was different. He wasn't flirting with any of the girls in the bar. It almost seemed like he wasn't trying to sleep with anyone.

But it wasn't like she was relieved or anything. She didn't care if he slept with anyone or not. It's not like she came here to watch him. It's not like she had feelings for him or anything. She didn't care. She had Kevin, and he was good for her. If she was totally honest with herself, she didn't love him, but no one needed to know that.

As she continued to watch him, she couldn't help but wonder why he suddenly wasn't interested in hitting on any of the girls in the bar. She watched as a girl walked up to him and started practically throwing herself at him. Yet, he just smiled and said something while shaking his head, clearly turning her down.

Why was he acting like this?

Maybe he just wasn't that into hooking up with random girls any more? Maybe something was wrong? Something was bothering him..?

On that horrible night, as she'd come to think of it as, she had thought for a second that she had broken him. When she watched the smile disappear from his face as Kevin came in. When she shook her head at his questioning look, and he pressed his fingers to the brink of his nose. She thought for a second that he was pressing back tears. That she was actually watching his heart break.

But then, the next time she saw him, he was right back to being awesome again. Back to sleeping with everything that moved.

They hadn't spoken since then. Sure they saw each other all the time, but only with the gang. Never alone. So they still hadn't breathed a word about what happened or how they might have been feeling about it.

But maybe tonight could be different. He looked uninterested in the women around him. He looked pensive, and if she was honest with herself, he looked sad. And something in the back of her mind told her that it was her fault.

Maybe she could go over and talk to him. Maybe she could say she was sorry, and how scared she had been that night. Not that she made a mistake, but she could at least tell him… something. Something that could cheer him up. Make his day a little better. Maybe they could go play lasertag or go to the cigar club like they used to do. Then she would at least have her friend back. She would at least be abel to spend some actual time with him, without always being fearful what the others could see.

Suddenly Barney's face lit up with a big smile. The biggest she had seen on him in months. A dark haired girl walked up to him, smiling back at him. She was almost as tall as him, with dark hair similar to Robins. She had on a long coat that looked exactly like one that Robin used to have back when she and Barney had just broken up.

Walking up to him, she walked straight into his arms, and he pulled her in for a long hug. A hug longer then what could be considered a greeting. Just before they pulled back from each other, he kissed the top of her hair.

They started talking excitedly to each other, and Robin watched with a morbid fascination. Barney was different now then before she walked in. He seemed lighter somehow. An easy smile played at his lips, as he listened intently to something the girl was saying.

After finishing the drink he was holding, he nodded to something the girl said and started putting his coat on. Then he took the girl´s hand, and they walked out of the bar together.

Robin sat staring at the place where they had just left, feeling herself filled with anger. She was so angry her nails were digging into the palm of her hand, making deep marks. This wasn't right! He could not just go of with some girl that looked like her. What? Did he have some sort of fetish with the way that she looked? Was that why he had slept with her even thou they were both in relationships with someone else? Did he do it just to satisfy some sick need? He had no right to use her like that. To play with her feelings like this, and to mess with her relationship with Kevin.

Anger fuming in her body she ordered a whole bottle of vodka. She was gonna drink until she passed out, and then tomorrow she could deal with this Barney situation. Right now she just wanted to shut everything out. Especially that voice in the back of her mind that told her the person she was actually angry with was herself.