I would say that this pretty much sums up how I have been feeling this entire year. However, the recent week has incited me to write a lot and I would say this is the most passionate I have felt in a long time. This is going to tick people off, but you are free to give me a CIVIL answer on why you think I'm a wrong.
I have also decided to write a YA Dystopian novel because this year has given me so many ideas. And no, not just because of what is going on with my southern neighbour right now. But yes. This year has given me little to hope about and has left me so disappointed in many people.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I do, however, own Philippines personality in here. And OC!Philippines
Edit: One reviewer complained about how I portrayed both countries so I tweaked things a bit. However, I mostly left America alone though I did do a few adjustments.
Phone call to America
Philippines cried when she saw the results of the American 2016 election.
The past years consisting of natural disasters and previous violence had been completely rough on her, but 2016 had been harsh on her and had finally worn down the last of her strength for various reasons. The betrayal of her brothers going ahead with Duterte's agenda because it was the change they needed was the final straw and she had just collapsed on the spot at seeing her brothers endorse their leader of turning their own people against each other.
Ever since her current president had been elected, she had done nothing but cry on the days that she had the strength to. The violence, the hatred, the fear, and the agony were overwhelming and had all but crippled her. The elation of many of her people as others cried out made her physically sick to the point that getting out of bed was a herculean chore.
On the days that she even bothered, that is.
Her people were killing each other and there wasn't a thing she could do to stop it. All she could do was endure and pick up the pieces when it was all said and done and hope that things could be repaired.
But for once in her life she could not muster up the optimism and think that things would be okay. Not after so much spilled blood and violence. Not when her own flesh and blood had turned their backs on her because she did not agree with the violent turn of events.
But when it was time for Americans to cast their vote, she (and likely the rest of the world) held their breath and waited. It was a long and painful process that only made her begin to despair as she realized who would win.
Philippines was not a fan of Clinton.
But she certainly was not a fan of Trump either. Ever since he had called Mexico and his people rapists and proceeded to insult every other minority group out there.
The election for who would be the 45th President was one of the most tense elections in America. And when the results came in…
It felt like the world exploded.
And for the first time since her current president had been elected, Philippines cried not for her people but for America and his. Trump's election meant that things would never be the same for the entire world. And when her own leader had congratulated the man, this fact only made her cry harder and then hole herself up in her room the following days, ignoring and pretending that she could not hear the knocks on her door as people came to check up on her.
The fact that anyone was congratulating Trump was absolutely sickening. He represented the worst of humanity and he was now head of one of the most powerful countries in the world.
The archipelago nation had tried to call America after Clinton had conceded to her opponent, but his cell phone was busy. She hadn't been the only one with the idea to call her. Knowing that he was probably going to be busy for the next few days, she decided to wait.
Now on November 14th, five days after the election, she decided to call. To her relief and a small measure of delight, the US of A picked up on the second ring.
"Hello?" America's voice was quiet and hoarse and he sounded exhausted, but Philippines was just happy to hear his voice that she decided to push the fact that he sounded like hell to the back of her mind.
"America!" She breathed out a sigh of relief. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to calm down and keep her voice level as she spoke again. "How are you feeling?"
There was a harsh bark of laughter on the other end and Philippines winced as she proceeded to mentally slap herself upside the head for the second time. Considering what was going on in the superpower right now, the answer was pretty obvious.
"I'm sorry." She said in a soft voice. "That was a stupid thing to say."
"Philippines," America was near sobbing. "You're one of the few people who hasn't told me I was an idiot or screamed at me for letting this happen when I answered."
His next words tumbled out in a rush full of so many emotions. Anger. Frustration. Despair. And disbelief. Like everyone else, he couldn't believe that his was happening. Or perhaps it was something that he had always known was coming and that the day of November 9th 2016 had just confirmed it in the most horrific way possible.
Or 11/9 as people were now calling it. There was something darkly amusing about the arrangement of the numbers; especially since if you switched them around they formed the date that the Twin Towers fell and over three thousand people died.
"This is ever worse than the Great Depression! Nine Eleven! Mexico, the Middle East, England…" He laughed hysterically. "Everyone's mad at me! They called me horrible names and Mexico… he was already furious about Trump calling his people rapists, but he was pissed off after the drop in his economy and about the fucking wall! I don't want the wall and I don't want to charge Mexico for building a wall he never asked for in the first place!"
The archipelago felt her anger come roaring back in spades. The others did what? She could certainly understand why they would be angry, but that was the last thing he needed on top of the 2016 elections stress as well as post-stress. Before she could plot the words that she would have for the others, she realized that he was talking again.
"What am I going to do?" America's voice was full of anguish. "I'm being torn apart in so many directions that my head is spinning. People are scared and angry on a level that I've never felt before. The other half is-"
He wasn't able to finish that sentence as he choked.
Philippines didn't need Alfred to clarify. She already knew.
One of the first things that Philippines did as soon as the victor was announced was go online to see what people had to say about the election. What she read completely broke her heart. It hadn't been until two days later before she could pick up her phone and scroll through Tumblr and Twitter again to see how people were responding.
The first thing was that many people were in disbelief.
Then the fear, anger, despair, elation and other emotions came rolling in.
And then there were protests and riots as many people from diverse backgrounds protested the winner of the elections. People took to the streets with signs that stated that did not accept Trump as their president and that they were going to fight it.
Naturally that meant that others took offence to the protesting. Already she read about a number of Trump supporters calling many of these people 'sore losers', 'spoil sports', and 'temper tantrum throwing adults and entitled brats' among other things. A lot of things she read revolving around this topic made her quite bitter- something she had been feeling for a very long time since he came into power.
As futile as the effort was (in her opinion), the gesture of what the protesting meant made Philippines proud. Because it meant that people were not going to allow others to deny them their humanity and treat them as anything other than human because of the colour of their skin, who they loved, their gender, their religion, and because of what they chose to do with their reproductive rights. Who cared if their own leader discriminated against them? They were not going to stand for it.
"Think of it this way, America." Philippines said once he calmed down enough for her to edge in. "It's brought a lot of things up to the surface. These kinds of things don't just appear overnight. And either way, people would have still rioted. If Clinton had won, it would be Trump's supporters rioting on the streets claiming that the election had been rigged. Of course, those same supporters are telling the rioters that they are just being sore losers about the whole thing. At least if Hillary was elected, people wouldn't be fearing for their safety and rights because of who they are." The last part came out very bitterly.
"My people just put a sexist, xenophobic, islamophobic, homophobic man in a position of leadership and power! Where the fuck is the silver lining in THAT?!"
Putin would have probably nuked the country, Philippines said in her head as she heard her long time friend's voice rise in anger. She had to pull the phone away from her ear as Alfred's voice became too loud for her poor ear drums. After he was done, she put her phone near her ear again, careful to make sure that she wouldn't lose her hearing a second time.
"Admittedly, it's hard." She agreed, barely able to keep her own voice level. "But don't you think it's better for this kind of thing to come to light rather than just letting it simmer under the surface as it always has? Truth be told America, it's always been there. They just now have a voice and think that it's okay to treat others who are different than them poorly."
"I thought my people were better than this." America sounded so fragile and broken when he spoke again. "I thought we progressed more than this. But I guess not." He laughed. "So this is the true face of America, huh?"
Philippines didn't say anything. What could she say? What could she offer to heal his completely broken heart over just how divided everyone was? People constantly told her that she was a good listener and gave good advice, but there was only so much she could do.
And this was one of those times where she had no clue what to say.
But she had to try anyways. "What is it that has you upset, America? The fact that Trump won or-"
"It's everything he represents and has said." America's voice was so full of loathing that Philippines bit her lip so hard it bled. She had never heard America so bitter and angry before. "As you probably know he's said so many derogatory comments about Mexico and his people, people of colour, Muslims, women, and the LGBTQ group. And apparently that appealed to a lot of people." He sighed. "I have never felt so disappointed in my citizens before."
"I don't think everyone feels that way. I mean I don't think all of Trump's supporters are racist, sexist, xenophobic-"
"No." America cut her off. "I know that not all of his supporters felt that way and you know why. But by electing Trump, they pretty much validated the behaviour that he's been displaying all year as well as the behaviour of people like him. They said that it was okay to discriminate against people who were different from them, that it's okay to discriminate against someone who had different coloured skin, that it's okay to hate someone because their preferences are different than theirs, that it is okay to treat women like objects and to take away control of their bodies and reproductive rights, that it's okay to hate someone because of their religion. Do you know what message this tells my people and everyone else in the world?! It tells them that if you fit within any of these categories that you have no rights and we don't give a fuck about you! Half my people threw the other half under the fucking bus! IT IS NOT OKAY!"
America let out a loud and bitter laugh.
"Is this what 'Making America Great Again' is all about? I'm fucking terrified, Philippines. So many of my population are scared. Everyone is divided. Families and friends hate each other. People are blaming each other left and right. Others are completely smug and already think that they have a pass to act as if everything that Trump has screamed about is okay. The other countries with several exceptions are terrified too. And this is only the beginning. With Brexit, Putin, Duterte and now Trump..."
Philippines sharply inhaled at the mention of her own boss in that statement.
"Philippines?"
"Yes?" She winced at how strained her own voice sounded.
"You… oh." He said sadly. "I forgot. I'm sorry."
"Don't be." She said shortly. "You're right. The year of 2016 has been hard on a lot of people."
For so many reasons. The results of the election was just the icing on the cake.
"So how are things on your end? I feel... guilty talking about my people when I know things are hectic over there."
Philippines did not realize that she was laughing until she found herself choking on her own breaths and crying. Soon she found herself falling onto the ground sobbing in anguish.
"HECTIC?!" She was screaming now but she didn't care. Philippines had nothing to say to her brothers and any attempt on their end to talk to her was shut down. She was angry at them for supporting what Duterte was inciting on her people. "HECTIC?! MY PEOPLE ARE BEING SLAUGHTERED, MANY OF THEM ARE LIVING IN TERROR OR ARE COMPLETELY GLEEFUL ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE PERMISSION TO KILL, MY LEADER GAVE THE POLICE PERMISSION TO EXERCISE LETHAL FORCE ON DRUG PUSHERS, HE HAS ENCOURAGED VIGILANTISM, AND MORE THAN FOUR THOUSAND PEOPLE HAVE DIED IN THE MONTHS HE HAS BEEN IN THE OFFICE AND IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN A FUCKING YEAR! HECTIC IS CERTAINLY ONE WAY TO PUT IT!"
All the pain and anguish came out in a rush. She hadn't felt so emotional for months, but talking to America, whose friendship with him was currently strained because of her boss had broken something in her at that exact moment. Perhaps because she could be sympathetic because of the anger, hatred, and fear that was washing over his people was washing over her own.
"My own brothers went along with Duterte's 'war on drugs'! I know they don't agree with how many people are dying, but the fact that they're just letting him do things his way means that they're completely complicit in this war!"
Philippines started laughing again while sobbing at the same time. Laughing because of just how much hatred there was in the world and sobbing because of the pain and fear she felt from so many people who suffered because of this.
She started vomiting and heaving- whether it was because she was crying to much or because of how much negative emotions was flying around, she didn't know. But she suspected that it was both.
"Philippines?" America's quiet voice from the cellphone that she had dropped earlier broke her out of the torrent of emotions. With a mental slap, Philippines remembered that he had been on the line the entire time. She could already feel the shame sinking in at the fact that she had made America listen to her have a breakdown.
She picked up the phone and sniffed. "Sorry. I didn't mean for you to hear that."
"It's okay." He chuckled bitterly. "It's nice to know in a sick and twisted way that I'm not the only one having a shitty year. What with Trump and Hillary's campaigns, the tense emotions and now this. Also, Trump is electing some of the worst people for his office. I... I just..."
"Don't forget England as well." Brextin was a nightmare as well from what she heard from the British Gentleman.
America laughed and Philippines giggled. Nothing about how 2016 had turned out was funny, but they were so tired and stressed and just done with it all. If they could, the two of them would probably crawl under their covers and then pass out for the next few years, only waking up when it was time to get a new boss.
"Why is this world so messed up?" America finally said as the laughter died down.
"That's the question I've been asking myself for a while now." Philippines admitted once she could breathe and be coherent again. "There's so much negativity in the world. We've always known it's existed… but I guess we just chose to be in denial about it."
She paused to think about what she was going to say next. She knew the answer to why Trump won, but was she the one who should say it?
"What do you think, America?" Her voice was soft and probing. "Why do you think Trump won?"
It was a long time before he spoke. "Because the people who voted for Trump were scared, angry and tired. They were in a lot of pain and they felt that... they were unhappy. Progress is a gradual change and we were progressing too fast that people felt they were being left behind. And there ARE a number of illegal immigrants in the country- but I can't blame them for wanting a better life here. I can't deny that they ARE making things difficult for others though and I guess I can see why people who DID immigrate here following procedure would be angry over that. Half my people were becoming disillusioned with our current leaders and when Trump came along… he represented change. He promised that he would be different than the politicians before them and he appealed to half the country's hatred, disillusionment, and fear. We ignored their voices for far too long and it just boiled over."
Another pause and America growled.
"But I will never forgive him for that. I will never forgive the fear and anger he used to gain popularity, how much hatred he stirred in so many people. I will never forgive the pain, anger, fear, and disillusionment he has caused during his campaign and in becoming the leader of my people. How scared people are not just only here, but outside my borders. This is not the country I fought to achieve. No matter how much he retracts his previous statements of hatred, I will never forget what he has said. I will forever carve what he has incited into my mind and ensure that no one like him ever does this again. If it comes to it, I will personally banish him and Pence from the White House and select people who I know has EVERYONE's best interests in mind. I will work alongside Trump and give him a chance through gritted teeth, but I will never let him do something that I know will hurt the people he has insulted and who has given free reign to others to harm because they are somehow less than human in their eyes."
"Same." Philippines' eyes burned as she glared outside the window. "Duterte maybe improving the corruption that has pervaded so long, but I will never forgive him for the blood that runs through the streets now. For the pain and fear he has caused. For the people who have fallen because of him. For the hatred he has incited and for encouraging people to kill off their neighbours if they know that they are using drugs. For all the violence and deaths." Then she added in a soft voice. "I will never forgive my brothers either. I will never forgive them for what they are complicit in."
There was silence as the two countries got lost in their own thoughts.
"So what now?" He asked. "Where do we go from this clusterfuck of a mess that just seems to be getting bigger and bigger?"
"Fight." Philippines said as she wiped away her eyes, her brown eyes hardening into determination. "We fight for the people whose lives are going to be directly affected by this and already are being affected."
"What?" America sounded gobsmacked by her declaration and for the first time since they had started talking to each other, she giggled with amusement at her friend's bewilderment.
"You heard me." She said. "Fight. You're in the perfect position to fight against what's to come and I've been too busy throwing myself a pity party when I can be doing more."
"Uh-"
"America. You are white. You are male. You are gay. And you are one of the kindest people I know. You are the perfect person to stand up for your citizens whose lives are going to become a hell lot worse now." She sighed. "I know that a lot of people make fun of your declarations to be a hero, but now is the time to live up to that title. A lot of your people are out there now fighting for their rights as human beings and you being there supporting and fighting alongside right them will make all the difference. In doing so you send the message to everyone that you will NOT normalize what your new leader has stirred up and now represents. It means you care and it means that you are not going to stand by as people become targets of validated prejudice."
There was complete and utter silence. Philippines waited for America to say something, but after about five minutes she decided to break it.
"America?"
"You know what…" America said in an almost dreamy voice that soon changed into a determined one. "You're right! I can't change the results! I can't change that Trump won! But I will be damned if I let him hurt my people and country more than he already has! I will fight him with everything I have and I will fight alongside those who are now targets of discrimination!"
Philippines smiled. "That's the spirit."
There was a pause on America's end before he said, "Thanks Philippines. You have no idea how much this talk… means to me. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest... and I guess helping me find an answer for what to do next."
"You're welcome, America." She was glad that he seemed in higher spirits than when he first answered the phone.
"So I'm guessing you're going out to fight too?" He asked.
"I'll do my best. Unfortunately, I have to contend with my brothers. But I will let them know exactly how I feel about how things are going right now and I will be damned if I let them try to silence me. I suspect that it will be a long time before we speak to each other again since we'll be so busy with our individual issues."
"Yeah." America agreed. "It'll probably be a while."
And for the first time in a long while, Philippines smiled. "Good luck, America."
"Same with you, Philia." She could hear a smile in his voice.
And then they hung up.
Author's notes 1:
This has taken me two days to right. Two days of non-stop typing and passion just to sum up my feelings on the state of the world. I can't stand Trump, and I barely tolerate Duterte by the skin of my teeth.
In this fic I have made Philippines (Philia) a more passive individual. Pacifist. Kind. Compassionate. She is based off the nicest women in my own life. But she is also capable of fighting when the time comes. She will not deny that her president has improved things, but considering her personality, she despises what her leader has done. Has encouraged. Has waged.
She also can't stand that potty mouth of his and the fact that he brings God into his speeches (based of an individual I know in real life).
So Philippines resents him, but concedes that he has brought change. She's just not sure if it's good or not because she despises violence in general. This has made the president upset with her since he does love his country, but she can hardly change how she feels. And besides, she has her other two brothers on his side who she is currently angry with.
America is pretty much torn about the situation. Look at what's going on in the States. Enough said. He is disappointed in many people, but he also understands why. And the entire divide between so many groups has GOT to hurt him.
His near breakdown is a reflection of how a lot of people are feeling right now. VERY MILD.
Author's notes 2:
I'm pretty sure that I am going to be flamed at for this. And I know of one particular reviewer who has been following fics like this one regarding America and politics post [11/9] who will probably drop by and have words with me. But you know what? I had to go and get this off my chest and I am already disillusioned with humanity as of last week so screw it. This has pretty much cemented my opinion on never giving birth because why would I want children in a world like this? No, seriously, why?
And global warming is real, by the way. Global warming. Not having children is my own way of contributing to saving the Earth. And before you start lecturing me on not supporting future generations, everyone else around me is having kids so no worries there. More for them, right?
Do you know why I wrote this? I suppose it's to shed some light on things. I do not want to get into a debate of why I think Trump is going to screw things over so let's just agree to disagree, alright? I won't try and change your mind and like hell will I let you change mine. Do not tell me how I should feel, and I won't tell you how you feel. This fic is to try and show both sides, but admittedly I am biased against Trump and it probably shows in my writing.
Trump may not be evil incarnate, but he has said many deplorable things both on television and online.
However if you want to tell people why you voted for Trump, then kindly do so in a civil manner. Don't swear. Don't call people insulting names. You want to be heard and your view treated with respect even if we have differing opinions? Then state your answer in a respectful and decent manner. Why people voted for Trump is something I have a vague grasp on and if you can list sound reasons as to why people are voted, I will incorporate them into this one shot to explain things to people who did not vote for Trump.
I do however have a firmer grasp on why people are against Trump's victory.
Do you know why that people are out on the streets protesting against Trump right now?
It's not because their side lost. It's because what Trump's victory means for them.
I concede that not everyone who voted for Trump is racist. Xenophobic. Homophobic. And sexist. (Because I do know someone on this site who voted for them and NO I am not giving you their username). However don't you dare deny that any vote for Trump did not give these people who ARE racist, who ARE xenophobic, who ARE homophobic and who ARE sexist validation in how they treat people in the future. That this kind of behaviour is okay because the future head honcho has pretty much said every comment that can fit in those categories.
And it's not.
And if you tell these people that they are being complete babies about no longer feeling safe in their own country and completely betrayed by people who voted for Trump means that you are denying their feelings and telling them that they do not matter. And if you tell me that people who fall in minority categories are NOT being impacted by this as of the moment through various acts of sick validation and hate, then aren't you lucky you've never had to suffer through that?
You won. But don't you dare tell people they are not allowed to be scared of how this impacts them and their loved ones.
But I will agree that the violent rioting is going too far. They are not convincing anyone that way.
As for people who did not vote for Trump or did not vote at all and who are now going to be forced to put up with him for four years, I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I am so, so, sorry. I am sorry you no longer feel safe. I am so sorry that you feel your rights have been so violently violated by him, and I am so sorry that there are people out there who think that your pain is not real because they are lucky enough to never have been in your shoes.
But people are genuinely scared. And if you have any decency, you won't tell them how they should feel or tell them that their fears are invalid. Would you like it if they did the same with you? No? Then don't.
However you SHOULD listen to why people voted for Trump. I have been looking at info online non stop for the past few days, and it's more than just simple prejudice against the groups. These people are also tired, disillusioned, and in pain as well. They have their own reasons for voting for an orange monkey (I absolutely refuse to give Trump any respect for the disrespect he has shown so many people and groups) who has no political background. They voted for him because they see him as the change they need. And perhaps change IS needed.
I can't see Trump being that change, but I can definitely see him changing things.
Admittedly, it is hard to ask people why they voted for him. But go ahead. And be nice about it. Because screaming 'How DARE you!' at them is not going to get you a very nice response back and I certainly won't blame them for NOT being civil if you cannot give them that much.
If you want change, then YOU personally need to be part of that change. It should not be put on the shoulders of one person, but it should be something that people take part of.
Protest, but don't riot and destroy. Get angry, but don't beat up other people. Do not give in to your negative emotions of wanting to destroy and hurt other people as it only validates the views that they are right about how they can treat you. But don't let those who think that they can infringe on your rights think that they can. With this election is the rise of a new era- you are going to have to personally show that you are a person who deserves to be treated as a person regardless of your skin, your preference, your beliefs and gender. You now have to take a stance against discrimination. But do so peacefully and only fight back when the other person decides to attack.
Explain your side and then let them explain theirs. You want people to listen to you? Then you owe listening to them.
These are going to be some very hard years for a lot of people. But I believe that you are resilient and that you can survive this and both stronger and wiser as a result.
Violence and hatred is not the way. It's an old cliche, I know, but it's true. This will only incite more violence and hatred until everyone else around you is dead.
To quote Susane Colasanti - "Things will always get worse before they get better". I feel that this quote pretty much applies to this situation.
And remember, because of how controversial this entire election has been, people will be watching Trump. He won't so much as sneeze without no one noticing so don't think he can get away with destroying the planet.
I am disappointed that Trump won. I've got a grasp on why he is victorious, but I am completely disappointed. However there is 2020, so get your revenge then.
And like America, I will be watching Trump. Everyone will be.
Now if you don't mind, I have to go watch my own politicians and start preparing. Because I have a feeling we're going to have our own battles to deal with here in the country of maple syrup.