AN: My first actual FanFic (That I'm willing to share that is xD) Please leave a review!
Alec gripped the bottle tightly in his hand. It was already half gone but he could still feel the pain. He took another swing trying to erase the memories that kept replaying in his mind. The first time he met Magnus, at the party. The way his cat-like eyes sparkled in the light. That first kiss. "ENOUGH!" He shouting punching the wall with his fist. It left a decent sized hole but he couldn't bring himself to care. He couldn't feel anything except the pain. It consumed his whole being. Every cell in his being felt alone and lost. He hadn't realized how much he needed Magnus until now.
He downed the rest of the bottle and went searching for another. As he passed each room memories flooded back to him. The infirmary where Magnus had come to heal him after the Greater Demon attack. The library where they had sneaked a kiss when no one else was in the room. The garden, where he went when he missed Magnus and couldn't go see him.
At last, Alec reached the kitchen. He searched through the cabinets but couldn't find anything that would make the pain go away. He would rather face 100 greater demons than feel this heartbreak for even a minute longer. It was too much, and there was no escape.
"Alec, are you alright?" Alec turned and saw his sister standing in the doorway. Her expression looking concerned and her eyes filled with worry. She was wearing a pair of red skinny jeans that Magnus would have adored.
Alec looked away quickly, "Go away Izzy. I just want to be alone."
"Alec…" Izzy lingered for a minute before approaching him. "I know it…"
"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" Alec ran out of the kitchen heading back towards his room. He didn't need her pity, or whatever empty words of comfort she was going to offer.
Back in his room, Alec sunk down on his bed. The memories consumed him again. Their first kiss, Alec's first kiss. The way Magnus's hands burned on his skin. The first time Magnus said he loved him, and the first time Alec said it back. The first time they made love. Alec couldn't help the tears that streamed down his cheeks. His whole body was shaking, and a quiet whimper escaped him.
He lay like that for what felt like hours, hoping the alcohol would take effect, but it never did. He couldn't sleep, every time he closed his eyes he saw Magnus leaving him. It was a nightmare but no amount of pinching would wake him up. He tried to draw a healing rune, wishing the pain away. The burn of the stele blocked the pain for a fleeting moment. So he drew another rune. And another. But the pain was still there every time the stele lifted from his skin.
Alec went to his bathroom and examined himself in the mirror. He looked terrible. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair looked like a bird had come and made his black locks into its home. "What would Magnus think of my appearance?" Alec pushed the thought away as fast as it had come. But it wasn't fast enough. The pain lit up with a new flare, burning through his veins without mercy.
Alec reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of pills, pouring the whole container into his palm. As he stared at the pills, he willingly let the memories flood back to him.
Their trip around Europe, especially their time in Paris. How much it hurt when he saw Magnus dying on the battlefield, and the relief that washed through him when Magnus woke up.
Alec brought his hand to his mouth.
The first time he went to see Camille.
Alec dropped the pills on his tongue.
The fight over the blue scarf.
He swallowed.
Hearing Magnus call his name in the tunnels. The witchlight glowing in Magnus's hand after Alec had dropped it. Magnus telling him he still loved him.
Everything went black.
Across town, Jace was with Clary enjoying a picnic in the park. His laugh was cut off abruptly as he was consumed with grief. He fell to the ground as his parabatai rune faded, mourning the loss of his brother.