DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS SENTENCE!
I just told you not to!
My uncle was right; you guys are brave and stupid.
Why are you here? It's my uncle, Pseudonymous Bosch, who usually writes these stories. He doesn't live here.
Oh, so he sent you here, whoop-te-dee. But let me tell you something, I can't be bribed to tattle the secret with chocolate like my uncle.
Okay, maybe I can.
Maybe I shouldn't have just told the internet my only fatal flaw...
Anyway, because my uncle was recently ransacked by the Midnight sun*, I will be writing this story. He has told me that he has been calling the main characters Cassandra, Max-Ernest and Yo-Yoji. Bah, you couldn't be farther from their real names. Well, that's actually the point. But considering I know these kids**, I find the names I have to call them ridiculous.
Back on topic***, I will tell you this story. But don't think I will tell you the secret! Don't! Don't! Don't even think about it! Don't even think about thinking about it!
You thought about thinking about it, didn't you? Don't lie to me!
Okay, so maybe I made you think about thinking about it, but that's beside the point****.
Well, I guess I should get along with telling you the story. You know, this story with the complicated name.
...But before I do that, I'm going to go make myself some nachos*****...Okay, a lot of nachos.
But before I go make some nachos and before I return to this story, remember...
...I warned you.
*Read This Book Isn't Good For You. Ya know, you should have read it already before reading this. You're the kind of person who skips the books you have to buy and go right to the fanfiction, aren't you?
**Well, they're actually young college-aged adults now, just a little younger than I am.
***Did I even have a topic?
****I need to find a point.
*****Don't ask me to share.