Say Something
A/N - This is a repost of the original, which I deleted.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
It wasn't the same. Nothing was the same anymore.
It never would be again.
A part of Tanya, a deep and dark part of her, wanted to make them suffer, make someone, anyone, suffer. There was an agony deep in her blackened heart, and that heart bled and wept and longed for her youngest sister.
She missed her. She missed her mischievous little smile and her loud snorting laughter bouncing off the walls. She even missed smacking her filthy feet off the coffee table and following her through the house with a mop and a bucket, cleaning muddy footprints off the tiles.
Tanya would give anything to see her sister's muddy footprints on their floors again. If she'd known what would happen...
She loved Carlisle and his family, but she loved her sisters more and she never would have gone to help them, not if she knew it would cost them Irina's life. It was Tanya's fault. She had been the one to convince her sister to go and make peace with the Cullen's, and in the end, where had it led her? To the Volturi and to her horrible, fiery death.
She was so angry. So upset. She wanted to scream and cry to the heavens how cruel they were for destroying them. Irina was there, looking into her eyes, pleading for understanding... for forgiveness. And then her head was rolling through the snow, her body burning, and nothing was left for them to collect but her scattered ashes, and even they were lost in the snowy depths of that meadow.
It was so, so cruel.
Trekking through the forest, snow crunching beneath her bare feet, Tanya couldn't bring herself to enjoy the beauty surrounding her. It was so fleeting. Her sister was one of the most beautiful souls on this earth and she had been destroyed within the blink of an eye. If she were to come across a human camp with their fire roaring high and bright in that moment, she would have stepped into it's centre without a second thought. Nothingness, she thought, would have been such a sweet relief to her. She was so tired of the pain and the disappointment. She had lived a long life... and she was so exhausted.
She wanted to sleep. For eternity.
Fingering the dying rose she held, Tanya's eyes stung. Every morning Irina would leave her and Kate a yellow rose on a single stem outside their bedroom doors. The one she held now was the last one her sister had given her the morning she had left to visit the Cullen's. She always said it was to remind them that a new day had begun, and that a new day was always a bright and beautiful one, like every flower that grew around their home.
She said it was because she loved them, because every beautiful woman deserved pretty flowers to brighten their day.
Tanya released a soft sob.
"I'm giving up, Ena..." She said brokenly, her voice barely a breath in the cold winter chill of the early morning. A withered, yellow petal swayed to rest in the snow at her feet. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't get to you..."
Dropping to her knees in the cold, wet snow, Tanya left the flower fall, and she finally, finally let herself cry for her sister. Alone.
Always alone.
And then there were arms around her that held her close to a trembling body, a body that was trying to be strong for her anyway, despite the heartache they both shared.
"We, Tanya." Kate whispered sadly. "We couldn't get to her. I won't let you give up..."
"I want to." She cried, clutching her younger sister like she was the only thing keeping her anchored to this earth. Maybe she was. Her heart was screaming. "I don't want to do this without her, Kate. I don't think I can..."
"We have to..." Her sister only held her tighter and pressed her trembling lips to her head. "I won't say goodbye to you, too. I won't."
"... I miss her so much..."
"So we miss her together, Tanya. We cry together and we remember the good and the bad together, and we laugh and we cry some more. But we do it together. Please..." She begged her. "Don't leave me to do this on my own..."
And that was when she realised it, felt it. Kate was clutching her just as strongly as she was her. They were holding each other up, keeping one another anchored and there, while they were down. And there, laying in the cold snow where she had let it fall, was what remained of their sister's flower.
She picked the flower up and, clutching it tight between her fingers, closed her eyes as she let herself cry and be held by her sister.
Kate was right.
Together.