Josh is quite the genius, isn't he?
A/N: This story takes place after the finale, except for the first chapter. This chapter is completely in the past. Read and review! Oh, and thank you to some readers for pointing out pregnancy weight and stuff...part of my chapter got deleted :( But now it's all fixed. So thanks for making me realize I screwed up with the formatting!
"Push, Kirsten, push," the doctor urged the flushed, flustered woman. "You're almost done."
With one final "Oomph" Kirsten lay back on the fluffed out pillow, eyes closed and mouth agape.
"There, there." The doctor patted Kirsten's knee. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Kirsten only groaned in response. She was listening, listening for the cry of her baby. Soon it wouldn't be her baby any more. She opened her eyes and saw a nurse cleaning off her baby, who was, surprisingly, not making a sound. The nurse finished cleaning the baby and brought it over to Kirsten.
"Would you like to hold him?" The nurse asked hopefully. Kirsten shook her head. She couldn't. It would just be too hard to give him up after that. She had a baby boy. Squeezing her eyes shut so no tears could escape, Kirsten willed herself to nod 'yes'. This was her only chance, her only chance to see her child.
"Thank you." Kirsten found herself staring at a pair of the most brilliant blue eyes she'd ever seen. Her son had also magically sprouted a head of blonde hair while in the womb. He was perfect. She couldn't do this any more…Suddenly feeling weak, Kirsten kissed her boy, her baby on the head and stole one more glance at his piercing eyes before handing him back to the nurse.
The nurse smiled sadly. "You did a good job, Kirsten."
Kirsten managed a small smile for the nurse, but she wanted her to leave—now. She couldn't stand to look at the beautiful face of her child any longer; a second too long and she'd never be able to let him go.
The nurse left the room with Kirsten's child, and the doctor entered a moment later. Kirsten quickly bit her lip to hold back the tears she so desperately needed to shed.
"Hello, Kirsten." The doctor was holding a clipboard and a pen. "Here are the papers."
Kirsten nodded, her world blurred by tears. She took the pen and clipboard, signing blindly at each x. Once she'd gone through the stack of papers, she shook the doctor's hand.
"You're doing the right thing," the doctor said, even though Kirsten hadn't asked him for his opinion or support. "I know it must be hard."
He didn't know how hard it was, Kirsten thought bitterly to herself. He probably had a loving wife, two beautiful children, and a house with a white picket fence. Or some variation of it. He didn't know.
"Everything appears to be in order, so when you've rested up a few days, you can check out and go home, Kirsten." The doctor consulted a chart hanging up next to Kirsten's bed. "Unless, of course, you'd like to meet the family adopting your child."
Kirsten didn't answer, so the doctor shook his head solemnly. "Yes…I didn't think so. Have a nice day, Kirsten."
She laid her head back on the pillow, exhausted from childbirth and from the pain of losing her first child, her beautiful baby boy. Maybe she shouldn't have signed those papers. She could have made her father understand…oh, who was she kidding? Kirsten wasn't old enough or prepared enough to have a child, especially when she wasn't married. It was for the best. She'd finish college, get married, and be the perfect child her father expected her to be. That was what she would do, because she was Kirsten Nichol, perfectionist and favorite daughter of Caleb Nichol, perhaps the wealthiest man in Orange County.
After a few hours Kirsten woke up; she wasn't in a private room and the bed next to her was now occupied. The nurse tending to the other woman saw Kirsten and hastily drew the curtain between beds. It was so thin that Kirsten could practically see the woman hunched over in pain, face red and rosy.
She sighed and laid her head back on the pillow. Looking over at the phone, she decided to wait a few more days. Dealing with Sandy would be too exhausting right now.
--
Today she was being released. Yet, with nowhere to go, not calling Sandy wasn't much of a choice. Her father had probably forgotten about her; after all, she'd had limited contact with him for over a year. Sandy was the only option.
She looked over at the phone and picked it up, fingers shaking, and she dialed a number she'd started to dial so many times over the last nine months. But she'd never actually worked up enough courage to stay on the line until he picked up.
"Hi, Sandy."
"Kirsten?" His voice was a mixture of relief and disbelief.
"Can…Can I come back?" It was time to go home.
"Of course," Sandy replied instantly. "Where are you? Do you need me to come pick you up?"
"That'd be great." Kirsten hadn't realized how tired, how worn she was And she especially hadn't realized, until now, how much she missed Sandy. She didn't know how she managed to survive for three quarters of a year without hearing his voice, without speaking directly to him.
She remembered passing a 7-Eleven on the way to the hospital yesterday, and gave Sandy directions to the convenience store. She told him what city, too, given the vast quantities of 7-Eleven's in the country. Then, she rode the elevator downstairs and checked out of the hospital wearing a baggy Berkeley sweatshirt that hid the remains of her pregnancy quite well.
But she had to see him again. Just one more time and his face would be etched in her memory. It wouldn't be enough, but it would have to do. She rode the elevator back up to the maternity ward, and, peering through the glass, saw her baby, her son. He was not sleeping; rather, his eyes, those gorgeous eyes, were looking around and his toes were wiggling excitedly.
A young couple next to Kirsten was also looking at the multitude of babies. She wondered which one was theirs. The man was scruffy looking, and she noticed that his fingernails were dark and stained with what appeared to be oil. The woman had straggly bleached blonde hair. Kirsten was still the same daddy's little princess she'd struggled to not be for so many years. She was sure they were nice people, who cared what they looked like? Still, Kirsten was sure they didn't have a lot of money, and felt sorry for their baby, whose future was pretty much determined already.
"He's perfect," the man said. "Just think; in a few hours he'll be ours."
"Look at those eyes," the woman responded. It was then that Kirsten knew. These were the people who would be taking home her baby. Her child. She had signed over her son to these people. "Trey's going to be such a proud big brother."
Kirsten felt a pit forming in her stomach. This was what her child was going to become? This was his new family? She'd made a mistake. A large mistake. She had to leave before she did something stupid, before she could further regret putting her son up for adoption.
Blinking back tears yet again, she hurried to the elevators and got in without one last look at her child. Still, she'd know those blue eyes anywhere.
At the 7-Eleven, Kirsten ordered a cherry Slurpee and sat outside on the curb to wait for Sandy. He pulled up twenty minutes later.
"Are you okay?" Sandy asked, wrapping Kirsten in a warm hug. He smelled like cigarettes and cologne, and Kirsten knew he'd recently visited his mother. "Where have you been for the last year?"
"Nine months." Kirsten couldn't help but point that out. Hopefully Sandy wouldn't get it, that for the last nine months she'd been pregnant and in hiding. In hiding, as in, hiding from Sandy, hiding from her father, and hiding from the father of her baby.
Sandy didn't seem to understand. A small smile played at the corners of his mouth. "But what have you been doing? Why did you disappear? I thought you were dead…or worse."
"Worse?" Kirsten raised her eyebrows. What could be worse than death?
"Maybe you got blackmailed into working for your father," Sandy said, laughing. "Or you married Cooper…Jimmy, right?"
The pit in Kirsten's stomach grew. Surprisingly, her father hadn't blackmailed or guilted her into coming home, and she definitely wasn't going to marry Jimmy. But…
"No," she said easily, although her stomach was killing her now. "I just…needed to get away, I guess. Explore the world, broaden my horizons."
"Explore the world?" Sandy raised his eyebrows skeptically. "When you called me, I thought you were in another state…maybe even another country. But no, you're living half an hour away from me."
"You know what I mean." Kirsten took a sip of her melting Slurpee. Sandy pulled on the straw and took a sip himself.
"So how have you been?"
"Okay, I've been better. How about you?" And it's the truth. She was happier, better, when she was with Sandy. But one drunken night had changed that. Kirsten had ruined her chance at happiness.
Sandy laughs. It's good to hear him laugh. Kirsten hadn't realized until now how much she missed his laugh. "Do I look okay?" He really doesn't. His eyebrows are ruling his face with their unruliness, he hasn't shaved in a few days, and he desperately needs a haircut.
He's just the way Kirsten likes him. He's perfect in her eyes.
"You look fine." Kirsten gently brushed a lock of Sandy's overgrown hair out of his face. "Let's just get out of here."
In the car, Sandy turned on the radio and Kirsten quickly changed it. Sandy changed it back and Kirsten changed it yet again. Soon Kirsten's hand collided with Sandy's, and shockingly, he tightened his grip on her hand.
"Enough," he said firmly, but smiled nonetheless.