Disclaimer: Torchwood and Primeval belong to the BBC. The Skippy List isn't mine either, but you know what? I have bananas. And bananas are good!
This is an adaptation of the Skippy list to suit my needs. Most points on the list will have their own chapter unless I want to mash them together.
What Jack is No Longer Allowed To Do At Torchwood
Chapter One:
Jack is not allowed to watch Primeval when he is supposed to be working.
Ianto's Note: Jack is not allowed to watch Primeval when he is supposed to be working.
Gwen Copper thinks Jack Harkness has forgotten what it is like to be human. This is absolutely false. As far as Ianto is concerned, Jack has far too many human quirks leftover from his endless lifetimes.
He faces them each morning as he wakes, staring down at the snoring lump that is the 'man-who-doesn't-sleep', when a salad bowl is used for Jack's favorite sugar coated cereal, or when his immortal lover rushes from the room to fart.
These light offenses are put to rest when Jack spoons Ianto in his sleep, pulling them closer, digging his toes against Ianto's body heat; when Jack sneaks a kiss during work, and when chocolate kisses appear beside the coffee machine.
Perhaps the most shining example of Jack's humanity is his ability to sit on his ass and watch television.
Jack's favorite past time during his unofficial coupling with Ianto is movie night. He would arrive at his young lover's apartment bearing take-out and soda, they would curl together on Ianto's light suede couch and kiss their way through countless action and romance movies. Action because both men found the rush of adrenaline heart stopping, making their sex life skyrocket for hours. Romance because neither man had yet been prepared to say out loud what they did with their bodies.
This was their routine, until Owen had cable installed at the Hub.
It was a few days after the zombie medic had finished playing all the games Tosh had kindly installed on the mainframe. The morning after he had asked Ianto to keep Jack distracted as he snuck in the electrician. With a few little boxes the Hub was then wired to receive thousands of channels.
When the two men returned from the archives in a ruffled demeanor, Jack was adamant. He retconned the electrician back to infancy and would have torn the conference room monitor from the wall...had Owen not turned it on. As the screen flicked to life Jack was distracted by a single word, 'raptor'. For the next seven hours, and despite Ianto's protests and propositions, Jack now refused to move. He sat transfixed at the screen for the rest of the day and most of the night.
Ianto thought it would be good for Jack to have hobbies, but he couldn't stand the man with an obsession.
Soon, Jack bought the box set; impressively the only DVDs the immortal actually owned. The show, Primeval, had instantly become the new movie night pick. For nearly three months Ianto had sat patiently through date night watching a team, much like Torchwood's own, fight dinosaurs instead of aliens. It was enjoyable, up to a point in the fourth season where a character called Matt fought off Raptor Jesus in bad cgi. This was alright, if a bit stifling for their sex lives.
Then Jack started watching it during work.
Ianto had been waiting in the archives. The younger man had gone two weeks without sex because of Jack's obsession before blurting out that one of two things needed to happen: his boyfriend would come find him in the archives and beg forgiveness with a blowjob; Or Jack could spend the night with Primeval while Ianto went with Owen on the pull. This, of course, was a complete lie but judging by Jack's expression, had done it's purpose.
So now he waited. And waited. Another half hour went by and he still waited. As his wristwatch beeped five o'clock he sighed and headed upstairs. Shock overcame him as he reached the main hub.
Rose petals were scattered, leading into the conference room. The lights were out and hundreds of candles flicked around him. Their usual table had been replaced with a smaller one situated with two chairs. A candelabra was perched in the middle surrounded by steaming food.
Strong arms pulled Ianto in and he melted into the embrace.
"What do you think?" Jack asked.
"It's perfect."
"You still mad at me?" Jack nuzzled his neck.
Ianto laughed. "No, cariad. I was never mad."
"Then why did you say you were leaving me?"
Ianto turned in his arms and cupped his face. "I will never leave you, cariad. I promised. I was just upset that you weren't paying any attention to me."
Jack's eyes were blurry. "So you aren't leaving?"
Ianto placed a soft kiss on his lips. "Never, cariad. Dw i'n dy garu di, cariad."
Jack smiled and pulled his young lover in for another kiss. "I love you too, sweetheart."
Yay! So, these won't be very long chapters. I just wanted to write a cute, drabble piece for between chapters of my main story. Please tell me what you think!