I came home drenched completely in the pouring rain outside, after a 14 hour flight, exhausted. It was cold and silent, just like when I left it .

The house was neat, smelled clean, fresh drapes , kitchen island spotless, almost erasing the memories of my mornings there with him. Berta has done a good job.

I sighed.

I put my keys away, got out of my soaked shoes and went to our bedroom to change. All the while, thinking about the one person that has been a constant in my life for the past year and a half. Him.

I wanted him home. I wanted him to be there that night, to ask me why I dint call him to pick me up. To chastise me for getting myself wet in the rain. To get my bags , to kiss me , to rub my arms to rid the cold that is surrounding me.

None of that happened. He wasn't home. Just like so many other nights. I knew where he was at the moment, what he was doing, with whom. Just thinking about that is making my hands shake, Out of anger or hurt , I dont know yet.

I lower myself to the king size bed and take out my phone and see the reply again that Bruno has sent me .

working late tonight .Now I knew what that meant.

He was fucking her.

Plain and simple.

I thought with time , I would be numbed to the feeling, That I would become immune to the pain, immune to the suffering.

I was wrong. It only worsens everytime I wait for him with dinner on table and end up eating alone, dissappointed.

Its been months now... since I've known about them. Since I saw with my blurring teary eyes, that first video she sent me. Down to the two dark eyes of the lion on his right shoulder moving everytime he winged his scapulae to plough into her better.

And everytime he did, my life sunk deeper and deeper and deeper.

Divorcing his cheating dumb ass after kicking the same with my louboutins and walking away with the hefty allimony is exactly what I should be doing.

But I din't. WHY? Why do I torture myself like this? Why do I stay with him still?

That is plain and simple too.

I love him. That is why.

Becoming Bonnie Alice Salvatore was not in my cards. The day that I became Bonnie Salvatore from Bonnie Bennett was not the happiest day of my life like many would think. Infact it was the most conflicted day of my life.

Many months later, I thought I couldn't be happier and some more months later, I realized I couldn't have been more stupid to think that happiness is anything but a mirage when being married to a man like Damon Salvatore. Quickly dissappearing.

I woke up next morning to the sun poking my eyes. The outside of our window making a beautiful sight.

I turn to my right. There he is. My dear better half, half naked , head turned to my side, softly snoring with a face that you will not believe is capable of adultery.

His beauty is something that I have admired a lot in the beginning of our marraige days. My husband is Italian. In every way possible. Right from his sculpted features to his hot blooded anger. Something that made me fall for him.

Ofcourse I want to kiss his cherry red lips right now. I would have, had I not known what he was doing last night and with whom.

Well, I still have my self respect.

I slowly get up from our bed and move to the bathroom to start my day.

I am in the kitchen making breakfast.

Strong hands wrap around my waist and his face is nuzzling my neck, " I missed youuu" dragging the you into a small moan.

" Morning" I say tightly.

"Mmm..I know you are mad, so spit it out" he says resting his chin in my right shoulder.

I turn around in his arms still trapped against the island, " What do you want me to say damon"

"Babe, I had a last minute meeting that I couldn't bail, I know thats not an excuse.. but I'll make it up to you" he says stroking my cheeks.

I look into his blue irises thinking were his eyes always this blue or it intensifies only when he is lying. Did he really think am dumb or did he really underestimate the woman he is fucking.

I wanted to hold his collar and scream why was he doing this to me, but I restrained.

"Its not the first time you are dissappointing me damon, So no need to go overboard in buying me anything this time" I said softly.

He draws his lower lip in and raises his eyebrows not expecting that, momentarily distracting me with his lips.

And then his expression changes, He drags my face and lays one on my lips.

Hard.

Until it has my toes curling and my head spinning. He stops abruptly and says, " You are my wife, I will always be overboard with you" still breathing heavily against my lips.

Totally missing my point.

And he slowly descends down to kiss me again in that leisurely manner he always does.

Dont give in.. Dont give in.. Am trying not to moan, thankfully his phone rings.

He stops by slowly dragging his tongue across my lower lip , pulls away , looks at me for a second and turns to get his phone.

My pussy is throbbing, afterall its been days since he has kissed me like that. Thats right, We haven't made love in months.

He comes back after 10 minutes " Uhh.. Bon I've got some work, Am leaving for office now, I'll have breakfast there" he says as if we din't just share that skin scorching kiss.

I stand there looking like the idiot I am with two plates full of food in the neatly made table.

He sees that too, something akin to guilt flashes across his face, but only briefly. He approaches me circling my waist with his arms and tries to kiss me, I turn my face away. He kisses my temple instead and walks away without waiting for my reply.

The tears are falling across my cheeks and staining my shirt bossom now without anyone to wipe them away.

His work and her kept us apart. More like he was letting them.

Later that noon, when I was exhausted after my morning rounds and lecture sessions, I was starving.

I went to my office room to wash my hands when my phone beeped.

I took it out and saw that the message was from her.

A selfie of my dear husband and her sitting in some B & B having breakfast.

Brunch with your hubbiee ;) ;) , the caption read.

I saw red.

What happened this morning and the photograph combined was making my blood pressure shoot up.

But when I looked closer, my husband looked mighty happy with her.

That smile , the one that I almost forgot existed was there on his face, only he was giving it to someone else and not me.

I wasn't getting that smile because he din't want to give it to me. Because..

Well, because he din't love me.

And that's the hardest truth I've ever accepted in my life, which is going to change my life forever.

.rtf