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I dont know what it is that makes me feel for him, the way i hurt inside when he looks at me or the way i love his brother unconditionally. I understand what he's been through and it hurts me to see him the way he is, i cant change what she's done to him and i can't change my love for Stefan.
"You can't hate me forever!" Damon remarked standing in the door of my bedroom. "I don't hate you I just don't like you!" I smirked intentionally. He came closer in the room and said "Such a shame! We could of made a great team, you and me together..." "Damon!" I yelled gazing into his bright blue eyes "...Don't you have some place to be?" I exhaled changing the subject. His smile said everything I already knew. "As a matter of fact I don't!" "Well then you wont mind hearing what Stefan has to say...That is if you dont already know..." I finished, seeing the change in his expression. "Elena-" He began. "Never mind."
The three of us crowded round my small bedroom and sat in awkward silence. I looked over at Stefan then quickly to Damon, noticing them both watching me I broke the silence. "So what do we do now?, I mean with Katherine...?" I exhaled quickly. Stefan shot a look at his brother and calmly said, "The only thing we can do, wait until something happens." Hearing Stefan's point of view Damon laughed silently enough for us to hear him. "Damon!" I yelled but I knew he didn't care what i was going to say about him. He gave me a small smirk and then in an sharp tone breathed, "Think about it, I mean Stefan you no Katherine like I do therefore you know how much she likes to play games with us! Don't you think we're making it a little easy for her?" The expression on my face changed and Stefan noticed "No, Elena i dont want you to worry i'm here and Damon's here, we wont let anything happen to you, i promise." He said kissing me on the head. I nodded and gave a shy look at Damon.
The weekend went so slow. i was sat on my bed thinking of what to write in my journal but the truth is what can i write? that i'm scared? that i don't know what to do? I shut my journal and lied there on my bed, i sat up in thought and breathed slowly. "giving up?" Damon asked sitting on my window ledge. "What do you want Damon?" i asked effortlessly. He gave me a sympathetic look then spoke "i came to check on you, you were concerned earlier and i didn't make much of it so i'm sorry..." He looked really concerned for me and i didn't want anything to change, i like what we share, a connection and i don't want to lose it. I see his hurt and it hurts me to know i cant do anything about it. "Damon-" A finger was pressed across my lips stopping me from continuing. "Elena..." He breathed, his breath stroking my face "Elena...it's hard for me to say this..." I knew what the next words were going to be but i couldn't hear them, i didn't want to hurt him, i didn't want to hurt Stefan...I'm not Katherine! "Damon...I can't...I'm not Kath-" "shh!" He whispered slowly "I know, I won't get this moment again...Elena i don't want to lose you and although your not mine and never will be, i want you to know that i love you, i always will" tears dropped from my eyes and i looked up to Damon "Thats why you'll never remember this" He said a single tear sliding down his cheek. That moment he kissed me and disappeared.
I looked around my room, not knowing why i was standing there or what i was supposed to be doing. was i crying? my eyes were all watery and my cheeks were wet? Truth was i actually cant remember what i'm supposed to be doing so i climbed into bed.
I felt fresh when i woke this morning, the sun was beaming through my windows warming my arms out of the duvet. I jumped out of the bed and ran to the bathroom. Jeremy was up, brushing his teeth. When i walked in he gave me one look then faced the opposite way. "what?" he mouthed and walked out. "Jer-!" "never mind" I mouthed but i knew he wasn't listening to me so i was talking to myself.