Title: Broken Trust
Author: LiLAqUaMaRiE
Fandom: CSI: Miami
Pairings/Characters: Eric Delko/Natalia Boa Vista
Rating: PG-13/T/FRT
Genre: Hurt/Comfort and Friendship
Spoilers: Post One of Our Own (4x25) & pre Rio (5x01), mostly focusing on the gap in between.
Word Count: 2,012
Challenge Fic: #17
Challenge Word: #07 – Not Enough
Summary: Sometimes, all that can be salvaged is friendship…
Disclaimer: I don't own "CSI: Miami" or anything related to it, so don't sue me please!! I'm already poor as it is and don't need a lawsuit to put me out on the street.
Note: This is a fic for the MiamiFicTalk Community prompt challenge.
Note 2: Why the prompt 'Not Enough'? Because the way I saw it, Natalia can't fix things with just an apology, it not enough. In other words, she has to work for it and I tried to express that within this fic – fill in the gap between S4 and S5 you may say.
BROKEN TRUST
"Friendship is only lost once you have the courage to let it go." - Unknown
Eric Delko was walking down a corridor that led to the elevator when he passed by a familiar lab room. Unconsciously, he stopped in his tracks as he studied the room for a moment before gazing back at the elevator that was farther down the corridor. He was lost deep in thought as he did this more than once, unsure of what to do.
He had two options, whether to keep on going as he was or to go to the lab room and finally make an attempt to talk to the person who occupied it. The latter option was the one he was trying to avoid as long as he could, just like most people within the CSI building were trying to do as well. And yet, he felt as if he had to be the better person and try to work things out with the person that occupied the lab or at least attempt to. So after what seemed as an eternity, he decided on heading toward the lab and once near it he could clearly see the occupant of the room through the glass windows that covered it – Natalia Boa Vista.
He sighed ruefully as he noticed the sad look on her face as she went about with her work. He knew full well how the rest of the people within the CSI building treated her or looked upon her and none of them were close to being nice. Ever since it was found out she was the mole, mostly everyone decided on giving her a hard time as she tried her best to earn back everyone's trust and respect. But it wasn't easy for her and to be honest, he knew he hadn't been helping her make it easy either, until now at least.
He moved closer to the open doorway and leaned against the doorframe, watching how she silently read something on the computer in front of her before shaking her head in frustration as she reached for a manila folder next to her. She was completely unaware of her audience as she flipped quickly through the pages before closing the folder shut as she slammed it against the lab table in front of her. With an aggravated sigh, she closed her eyes as she lifted both her hands to rub her tired face and it wasn't until she reopened her eyes that she noticed Eric's presence.
He gave her a tight smile, "Hey."
"Oh hey," she said as she immediately straightened up. Nervously, she looked at him, unsure how to react, "I didn't expect to see you here…" she told him in surprise. "…or anywhere near me for that matter…" she muttered softly but he still heard her.
Eric nodded absently, "Yeah, well, you know." He put his hands inside his pants' side pockets as he studied her face, "I decided that needed to change."
"Oh."
He noticed the surprised look being replaced by confusion then sadness all in a matter of seconds before he moved to walk closer to the lab table where she was. He peered downward at the scattered papers, folders and other stuff that covered the table. "Lots of work?"
She followed his gaze to the table and shrugged her shoulder, "Oh, ah yea. Well, you know with everything that happened I've been assigned to go over old cases - make sure all is accurate and stuff." She grinned, self consciously as she smoothed her long white lab coat.
Eric nodded in reply as he thought back over the weeks since the news of the mole came out, how much work was laid upon Natalia – it was like some sort of punishment, besides the harsh treatment she received. He felt a bit ashamed of himself for not offering any help from the start. He glanced at the stack of folders that were on the other side of the table, "Would you like some help?"
Her eyes widen in shock before she shook her head quickly. "No, no." She bit her lip, "I, ah, have to do it all alone ya know." she explained quickly, "But thanks though..."
Silence overcame them for a moment, Natalia idly played with a corner of a folder and Eric leaned one hip casually against the corner of the lab table. It stayed like this for several minutes before Natalia decided on breaking the silence and the awkwardness she was submitted to. "Was there something you needed?" she asked him.
Eric shook his head in response, "Not really, was about to head out actually."
"Oh."
"Are you sure you don't want any help?" he started to feel the old, almost forgotten need to care for her, protect her as he started to before the whole problem of the mole ever started.
"Yeah." she smiled faintly as she sank down onto the chair behind her, "I mean I know it's a lot and all, but I have to earn my way back up alone if I want anyone to respect me again." She took in a deep breath, "I'm just glad that Horatio trusted me enough to get the superiors to agree to let me still work here." She bit her inner cheek as she studied her hands that were laid upon her lap in silence.
Eric observed her, taking in her tired appearance – from the flat smile upon her lips, to the exhaustion that drew her face down, to her slumped feature against the chair. It was a sad sight to anyone who saw.
He had to hold himself back from running up to her and gathering her up in his arms; telling her that all was going to be okay from now on, that he was there for her. Throughout his interactions with her, he slowly started to realize that the deep feelings he had for her before all this dilemma ever took place, never truly died. He still cared for her, a lot more than he ever thought he'd ever feel for a woman and yet finding out she was the mole still stung him. He cared about her - yes, he wanted to forgive her - yes, but it wasn't going to be easy. So he didn't move a muscle, he just stood there watching her.
After a few moments of silence, he opened his mouth to speak but Natalia beat him to it. "I know, I know." She sighed as she continued, "I know what you're thinking Eric - how could Horatio trust me?" The weight of what had happened since the mole incident till this very moment seemed enough to drag her down. "Hell, how can anyone...after all I've done." Her hands shook slightly as she spoke softly, "I know I broke everyone's trust."
He straightened himself as he crossed his arms against his chest, "Talia..." he noticed the slight widen of her eyes at the mention of the old nickname. Ever since the mole incident he reverted back to using her full name instead of it, but it just slipped out from his lips unconsciously and he didn't bother to correct himself. "I know it looks that way now, but you didn't really break anyone's trust. It's just damaged at the moment."
A hollow laugh escaped her lips, "I really wished I could believe you Eric, but compared to the looks I've been getting - I can't."
"Talia, you don't have to do this, you know." She looked at him in confusion as he continued. "I mean, you don't have to try so hard to please people...just, just be yourself, okay?" He uncrossed his arms and ran a hand through his hair, "Look, I know right now everything seems and feels like hell and even impossible to overcome but you will. Just have faith and understand that it's going to take some time."
"It's just hard..." she whispered.
Eric blew out a sigh of frustration. "It should be." He was responded to with a shocked look at his outburst. He took a deep breath before continuing, "You have to understand that what you did was wrong..." he lifted a hand to stop her from interrupting, "I know you only sent good info on us all but still, it was wrong." He noticed the forlorn look upon her face and he softened his tone, "But we all make mistakes Natalia."
She lifted her face to stare at him bewildered as he continued. "Don't you see?" he questioned her, "None of us are perfect, we all made mistakes - small ones and huge ones and we are all still going to keep making them. That's how life is, we make mistakes and we grow from them. It's not the end of the world."
"You think so?"
He gave her a smile, "I know so. So don't over stress yourself okay?" He gave her a soft concerned look, "Nobody expects you to be perfect."
Natalia considered his words for a moment before slowly returning a small shy smile, "Thanks."
His smile was still in place, "No worries."
This time around it was Natalia who took her time to study the person before her. She tilted her head to the side, "Can I ask you a question Eric?"
Eric blinked confused this time, "I guess so..."
"The thing, you know, between us... I mean are we still..." She paused unsure how to word her thoughts; she slowly closed her eyes as she spoke unable to watch his reaction. "Is there still something between us?"
To say the question didn't take him by surprise would be understatement, "Natalia..."
She reopened her eyes as she shook her head dejectedly, "Forget it."
He shook his head. "No, look. I can't. I just can't, 'Talia." He gave her a sad smile, "At least not now, I'm sorry."
Natalia was unhappy with his response, "Because I was the mole? I knew it."
"No, it's not that." He sighed, he didn't really want to talk about this but he had to. "Well not entirely at least; what we had, I won't lie the feelings are still there, and they won't go anytime soon." His words gave her a bit of hope and in a way it gave him some hope as well. "But you have to understand that besides the mole issue, we were already having problems. The mole incident just added to it." He knew his heart screamed for him to just say, 'Yes we can go back to being a couple' but the logical part of him overrode his emotions at the moment, "If we can ever overcome our trust issues and other stuff - then who knows. Just for now, I'm sorry."
Natalia sighed sadly and nodded, knowing he was right. "We are still friends, right?" She hoped for at least that.
"Of course," his response was immediate that she couldn't help but smile. Then slowly, she stood from the chair she sat in and walked over to him. Standing a few feet away from him, she started to speak. "Um, this may sound ridiculous but..."
He gazed down to her beautiful face, "But?"
She peered up to him shyly, "...but can you hug me?" She quickly started to amend her question, "I just, with everything...and these past few weeks...I can really use a friend right now."
He grinned slowly and moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her frame. "You don't have to explain yourself 'Talia. I'm still here for you..." He heard her sniffle within his arms, almost ready to cry from all the emotion that she been holding for weeks. "Hey shh..." he held her tighter, "It's okay, I'm here." He whispered softly to her, "And no matter what remember you'll always have a friend in me."
His soft words broke the only barrier that she had left within her, the one that restrained back all the swirling emotions inside of her, making her start to cry within his arms. In silence, he lifted one of his hands to gently stroke her hair in an attempt to calm her, "It'll all be okay, you'll see…"
Fin.