Transformers: Somebody's Somebody

By: Guardinthena

Genre: Romance/angst

Bio: The Decepticons are out to express their love for the Autobots by sending The Ark and its crew into the sun via use of a massive spacebridge. When Optimus Prime leads a strike team against them, he is injured and Phage absorbs his spark/Matrix to confuse the Decepticons by faking his death. When Megatron discovers the farce, he sends the Decepticons after her to reclaim the Matrix. Phage is captured, and Soundwave reveals that she has more than the Matrix to hide from them.

I started this as a challenge put out by Water-Smurf over on DeviantArt. The challenge was to randomly pick a song from a list and write a fanfic on it, but it couldn't be too short and it had to be done in a week. I wanted to do a special fanfic for Valentine's Day and I came up with this. The rest of the chapters are to follow shortly. Promise. ;P

Chapter 1

'Wish I had somebody

Wish I was somebody's baby

Somebody's somebody

Somebody's somebody'

Heavy clanking filled The Ark's halls, interrupting the Earth love song playing over the PA system. Desperately, Optimus Prime tried to push the nonsense song out of his head as he reluctantly made his way to the Medbay. The aura he gave off as he marched headlong down the golden halls was one of impatience. His azure optics were hard, portraying the conceivable frown that would have been apparent on his faceplates if not for his mask. He had better things to be doing than going in for a routine maintence check up, even if it was to inspect the latest injury he had suffered in the last Decepticon raid. His repair systems already told him what Ratchet would take an Earth hour and more to figure out, even with his input. His system repairs had already healed his injury and he just needed a new chasing for his side, but Ratchet would drag everything out like normal until he was certain that all his systems were in peak operational status.

He emitted a growl as he turned the next corner sharply. "Let's just get this over with quick and –!"

"Ouff!"

He collided with something small and green as he whipped around the corner. Knocked out of his reviee, Optimus blinked as he looked down at the Autobot he had knocked over. His first thought was that he had ran Hound over, but as he got a second glance at the 'bot sitting in a heap on the floor he realized that the slender body and feminine curves couldn't have been Hound at all.

"Phage, I'm–" He extended his hand for her but the femme refused and picked herself up, her panels twitching in annoyance. Prime retracted his hand and stood watching her as she dusted herself off of invisible grim.

"It's fine." She muttered without looking up at him, cutting him off. "Excuse me."

Without another word, the femme slipped around him and disappeared down another hallway. Prime spared her a glance before he continued forward at a little less speed. Grumbling to himself, he mumbled, "Looks like I'm not the only one in a foul mood today."

He arrived at Medbay sooner than he would have liked, but not fast enough. As he stepped into Medbay he was already wishing that time would jump and that this would be behind him and that he'd be off somewhere else. Anywhere else: in the command center, in his office, outside enjoying the nice Oregon weather. Come to think of it, he recalled Spike gathering some Autobots together for a game of basketball.

"Reporting in, Ratchet."

The white and black trimmed CMO glanced up from a medberth where he was engaged in another routine maintenance checkup with Ironhide. The two mechs glanced over his way, Ratchet with a look of frustration and Ironhide with a look that seemed to say that he'd found his savior.

"Prahme, quick! Get me outta here!"

"You shut your vocal modulator off before I do so myself! And you! You'll have to wait over there while I finish up Ironhide."

Optimus crossed his arms over his chestplate as he fixed Ratchet with a glare. "I have other matters that I need to attend to, Ratchet. The sooner you can get this over with the better."

"Hey!" Barked Ironhide, "I'ah was here first, so yer just gonna have ta wait yer turn unless you tell Ratchet that my servos don't need any further greesing. They're just fine as they are."

"Just fine!" Ratchet all but yelled at Ironhide. "Just fine! They're grinding on each other! That's why they're hurting you you thick-plated, lead-headed –"

"Ya ol' rusted scrap heap."

"–screw loose –"

"Ratchet!"

The CMO shot Prime a swift glare over his shoulder strut, then grudgingly relented. "Fine. If it's so important than give me a second. I'll call Phage back in."

His audios glitched. They had too. He blinked at Ratchet, unfolding his arms as he repeated, a bit surprisingly, "Phage?"

"Yes Phage now get your fragging aft over on that medberth. She'll be back in in a few seconds."

He didn't move from his spot next to the door. "You're going to let Phage examine me?"

Ratchet shot him a look. "What's the matter Prime? Don't trust my protégé?"

He threw Ratchet a scowl as he returned back without missing a beat, "I just didn't realize you let rookies operate on high-ranking officers. Bad form Ratchet, what if one turned out to be a Decepticon double-agent. I could be terminated."

Ratchet made a rude noise as he turned back to work on Ironhide. "Ptf! Yeah, and the day that that happens is the day that the Pitt freezes over. You'll be just fine with Phage. It's a simple little medical examine for Primus's sake."

"Then why not get her to work on Ironhide while you tend to my examine?"

"Because I'm already working on him! And dealing with Ironhide's foul temper requires a type of special care that I've developed over the years. Phage hasn't yet."

Ironhide guffawed at that. "Yer ah son of ah 'Con, Ratchet. Letting Phage work on Prime. He's in ah worse mood than I'ah am!"

"I said shut it or I'll wield it, and I meant it!"

Ironhide and Ratchet degraded down into a series of growls and the occasional snappy comment from there, leaving Optimus completely out of the loop. Not that he minded in the least. Scowling as before, Prime grudgingly slipped up onto the nearest medberth and waited for Phage to return to the Medbay, not that he had long to wait. The femme came sweeping in not more than twenty-five. four seconds later, a fine blue hue on her normally white cheeks and a glare on her face that would put his to shame. She looked momentarily around the Medbay until she spotted him, then immediately threw her hands up into the air and went into a tirade.

"Why! Out of all the maintenance checkups you avoid, you didn't avoid this one. You sand-blasted, son of a screw!"

Everyone was in a foul mood today!

He leveled a steady glare on her as she approached. He knew she wasn't asking a question, but he found himself snapping off a sarcastic remark all the same. "I think I might take a second look at your work schedule and rearrange the time you're spending with Ratchet. You seem to be transforming into him."

Ironhide laughed from across the Medbay. "Like we need another Ratchet around –fritz!"

"I warned you! Now just lie there and be still!"

Both he and Phage ignored Ratchet and Ironhide's ongoing feud (not that Ironhide could do much more than mime feuding) as she advanced on him, her dark blue optics flaring in fine form. "You could have just waited another thirty minutes and Ratchet would have been done and he wouldn't have called me!"

"No I wouldn't of."

Phage shot a glare off Ratchet's way, but the CMO missed it. She raptly turned her attention back on her commander-in-chief as she moved to gather the standard medical equipment for the examine. Her speed was brisk as she collected what she needed and aptly marched straight up to him with a scanner.

Optimus suppressed the sigh that he wanted to release. He really had no time to be here, especially no time to be dealing with an irate Phage. Ratchet was one thing, he'd make some rude comments about what he should have done to avoid his little incident, degrade him for it, and somehow joke about it at his expense all at the same time. Somedays it got on his nerves, others it amused him. Today he had to deal with Phage, and quite frankly he knew that when she got into a mood like the one now, there wouldn't be any talking, just scowling and glares that meant death. She was so mad about whatever it was that had set her off before Ratchet had called her back in that he could practically feel the cold aura she was giving off.

She was already some way into examining over his systems when he muttered to her, so that only she could hear, "How about you just fudge the results and we can both get out of here."

The femme paused in her work. The layer of ice seemed to melt from her face momentarily as she blinked up at him, knocked out of her own reviee. "What?"

Optimus Prime jerked his head off in Ratchet's direction, whose back was still turned to them. "Just pretend we did this and mark something down in the computer. My repair systems have already taken care of my injury."

Her optics narrowed on him as a fine little frown began to twist her soft green lips. "Suuuure. I could do that. Oh! But wait! Ratchet knows the exact time it should take for this little examination to be over! And why? Gasp! It's because he's been your doc for over nine million years!"

His frustration was now directed at her as his scowling took on the form of a dark thundercloud. He hardly found her humor anything but funny. "As your commander I'm authorizing you to hurry this up!" That threw her for a loop. The frown that seemed to be forever etched into her flexi-metal skin disappeared as easily as that, and in its place was a look of torn decision. Phage opened her mouth to say something but closed it just as quickly. Prime snagged the opportunity and leaned in, motioning over towards Ratchet again with his optics and then pointing down at his side. "Look, I have to get back on duty as soon as possible. I know Ratchet says that when I'm in Medbay he's the boss, but ignore him, he's blowing oil transmissions. Just change the casing and we can both get back to what we both need to be doing."

She hesitated even further, obviously torn between her desire to perform her job and whatever it was that she had been heading off to do when she had been relieved of her post. At length, she came to some decision and threw a cautionary glance at Ratchet's back. Once she'd determined that all was well and fine, she put the scanner down and moved off around the medberth, heading for a side storage room. She motioned for him to sit still and mouthed with her lips, 'I'll be right back.'

Prime adjusted his weight on the medberth as a smug smile started to tug at his lip components. Somedays, being leader had its advantages. 'Pitt, I should nudge to get Phage as my medical officer more if I can get out of these blasted examines all the more quicker.'