Ty Lee is wearing her new dress tonight. But Azula does not look; she does not notice even for a second.
It's not as if she looks at clothes, Ty Lee reminds herself with ease. Azula always has been fairly fashion-blind... If she didn't have servants or me to dress her, she would probably be an utter mess.
That does not stop her, however, from trying to get Azula to notice. Ty Lee would chastise herself for enjoying attention so much. But attention is wonderful and people who don't actively seek it probably have something wrong with them. And ascertaining the attention of the Fire Lord is a venture Ty Lee has to admit can make her feel godlike.
"You look good," Ty Lee remarks, her first prod of the day.
"I look horrible," Azula corrects guiltlessly, sinking into the sofa.
They are in her office, which always smells of ink and ashy floral incense. She does look worn, with purplish circles beneath her golden eyes. But she always somehow manages to look incredibly appealing. And Ty Lee can say the same about herself.
"You're just tired. And of course you're tired; you're the ruler of a whole country," Ty Lee replies forcefully, daring her wife to disagree. Azula just shrugs noncommittally in response. "Also you could probably use a bit of sun, being a firebender and all."
"I forget what the outdoors looks like," Azula replies with a weak smirk as she lies down and clasps her hands over her lower abdomen. "Describe it to me."
Ty Lee pounces onto her and Azula does not even flinch. She has a way of being like the statues of herself sometimes, which can both be scary and endearing, depending on if she has a smirk or a two thousand yard stare. Right now is the smirk, and Ty Lee is glad of it.
She positions herself atop of Azula's hips, straddling her. The Fire Lord still does not open her eyes, but there is a slight flush on her cheeks and it makes Ty Lee feel incredibly powerful.
Yet, with her eyes closed, she will not be able to see your new dress... which is the entire point of this.
"Well, there's a lot of green," Ty Lee begins and Azula's smirk twists slightly more. "And it smells sometimes like rain and sometimes like heat and sometimes just gross and sometimes like flowers. And it usually makes me sneeze. And the sun is, uh, well the sun is this round and hot thing in the sky... the sky is... uh, wow, this is harder than I thought..."
Azula starts laughing and Ty Lee smiles faintly. "I don't think you have a forthcoming career as a storyteller anytime soon," Azula remarks.
"Open your eyes," Ty Lee says softly, leaning down. Azula purses her lips at the abrupt grinding of Ty Lee's hips against hers as she slides down her sore body.
.
.
Ty Lee is crying, and not bothering to suppress it. Azula clenches her jaw and refuses to relent, having utterly no interest in the woes of this girl.
"This is what you wanted, isn't it?" Azula asks and Ty Lee squints at her from behind blurry eyes. "Don't act like it isn't. It's not my fault that you aren't careful what you wish for."
And Ty Lee just stares at the floor beneath her, her palms scraped and pained as they press against the dark stone stained blue by the shadows of flames.
"Azula..." whispers Ty Lee, although she has no idea what to say next.
"I'm giving you the opportunity of a lifetime," Azula snaps, her eyes flashing. "Don't you want redemption? Don't you want a chance? That's what love is."
You wouldn't know love if it slapped you, is Ty Lee's only thought, but she holds her tongue.
.
.
"No," Azula replies sweetly and Ty Lee reaches forward with one hand, the other pressing down on Azula's shoulder to maintain her balance. With two fingers, she pushes up on Azula's eyelids, forcing her eyes open.
Azula does relent, which makes Ty Lee grin.
"There," Ty Lee declares quite proudly. "Happy?"
"Maybe," Azula whispers, her hands laying purchase to Ty Lee's lower back. Ty Lee bites down on her lip for a brief heartbeat before releasing Azula's shoulder and kissing her neck. And then sucking on her neck.
Azula moans and Ty Lee runs her fingertips along the Fire Lord's skin, causing her to gently buck her hips. Perfection, as Azula then kisses her more fiercely, and fumbles with her clothes, nails nicking Ty Lee's skin without the Fire Lady noticing.
.
.
Ty Lee wishes she could pretend that this is her teenage dream. But it is not, and she cannot deny that fact. She cannot convince herself that she does not want to be strong and stand up to Azula, to do more than just bicker and eventually give in.
This is better than the alternative, the acrobat frequently reminds herself. And you should be glad that you're so irresistible that the Fire Lord would do this for you.
Gradually, Ty Lee's resistance to the attempts at taming her becomes more and more futile. There are no more apologies for arguments and neither of them tries to make the relationship actually work anymore. If it even were a relationship in the first place.
When she looks at Azula, she has the same eyes, same hair, same figure, but she is not the same person. Or maybe Ty Lee is not the same person, is not the same person who was so blinded by juvenescence and the crushes and idealism that came with it.
Her childhood does not die in a prison, nor in the usual way of getting older. Her childhood dies in a palace, wearing a crown, living the life she thought would be absolutely perfect.
She never thought that her dreams could be so lonely.
Or that they would come with this price.
.
.
It is easy to forget when it is over, their skin heated and damp with sweat, their lips tasting of each other. Ty Lee still has her thigh against Azula's, their bodies still pressed together on the smooth chaise lounge.
Ty Lee's new yellow dress is lying on the floor, and she cautiously gathers it as she pulls away from the woman she married nearly a decade ago. Azula still does not even notice, even as Ty Lee waves it like a flag before putting it onto her body.
"I love you," Ty Lee says as she pokes Azula's rib with one finger.
Azula hesitates, and Ty Lee expects, I know, but Azula replies, "I... love you too."
So why does that not make Ty Lee happy? So why has everything died and faded to the point of embers that can still warm a hearth but do not rage with beauty?
"Do you want me to leave?" Ty Lee asks, sitting down on Azula's office chair as if it is her own throne.
"No," Azula replies before clearing her throat.
She is still naked, her skin pallid, more wan than ivory at this point. Drained, being Fire Lord has drained her and Ty Lee cannot blame her. Being handed a country as a mentally unstable child is taxing on a person. The same as being forcibly married to said mentally unstable child, but Ty Lee keeps that to herself.
"Are we hiding?" Ty Lee asks as she looks at the locked door.
"Yes."
.
.
"And I imagine you also kissed him goodnight?"
Ty Lee rolls her eyes and Azula inhales sharply. "You're being paranoid. And jealous and it's not exactly attractive!"
"Neither is you flirting with everyone in sight!"
"Saying hello to people other than you is not flirting!" Ty Lee shrieks in response, wanting to rip out her hair or claw Azula's face or do something.
"You're clearly not very self-aware."
"And you are? You have lost it completely and I cannot deal with that anymore!" Ty Lee replies and Azula falls silent. Usually she screams back, usually they scream until their voices are sore and then pretend to be in love again.
"Well then you don't have to deal with me anymore. Someone take her to her room, and lock the door."
She walks away as Ty Lee elbows the guard reaching for her.
.
.
"What are we hiding from?"
"Time," Azula replies and Ty Lee thinks she sees something in her other than an entirely empty woman. A candle burning for a brief while in a pitch black room.
"Okay," Ty Lee replies, touching her knees to her chin. "I'm pretty good at hiding."
They both are. They both are good at hiding from reality, their feelings, the past, their relationship flaws, the sickening nature of the past decade, Azula's desperate need for someone to help her...
And Ty Lee is quite good at being hidden from absolutely everyone.
They wind up remaining there, hiding, for the remainder of the night.
Azula does not notice the new yellow dress, and Ty Lee knows it is petty.