Disclaimer: The characters are all property of Ryan Murphy's show "Glee" on FOX. I just wish they were mine and add little bits.

A/N: This is the introduction to a kind of an experiment (see below). It takes us back a bit to the events of Sectionals, but will cover many other things. The chapters are all in Finn's point of view and (except for this introduction and maybe a thing or two) are merely his thoughts and feelings about various events we're already familiar with – or not, from the events of Sectionals onwards. Obviously, it's going to be a multi-chapter story. So enjoy!

. . . .

"There," his mom said, and pushed a small black book across the table at him.

He eyed her quizzically from eyes that were still swollen and bloodshot. "What's that?"

"It's a journal, sweetheart," was her soft reply.

He looked at it blankly.

"When I was your age whenever I found I had a problem that I couldn't talk about to anyone, I wrote it in my journal instead. It didn't make the problem go away but it helped to get it out of my head every once in a while."

His eyes went from the book to his mom's face. A frown was beginning to form on his brow as he considered her intentions. "You want me to read it?" he finally asked, and squirmed in his seat. What was in it that she thought might be useful to him now? Yeah, she was his mom and he'd do anything for her, but he wasn't really comfortable reading stuff like that. It was hard enough to imagine her having been his age once upon a time.

The smile on Carole Hudson's face dimmed; Finn suddenly knew what she was going to say before she even said it. Her eyes were full of warmth, of love for him – but he could see something like pity in them, too, and all at once his throat felt constricted and he was fighting back the tears again.

"No, Finn, this is for you," she said, and looked down at the black book, and he could hear the sadness behind her words. "I know it's not something kids do these days, and maybe it's old-fashioned, or uncool, or maybe boys don't do that sort of thing – I don't think your father did - but –" she broke off, and he realized she was fighting back tears as well.

For a moment it went very quiet in the kitchen, nothing but the monotonously ticking clock over the door filling the silence. His eyes filled with the tears he'd been fighting, and he wished he could stop it. Stop everything – this damned hurt, the humiliation, the pain he felt, still so damn acute and fresh as if it had just happened, as if Quinn and.. and… Puck were still right there in front of him, admitting to the truth that he'd hoped had been a mistake. His mom's face blurred before his eyes along with everything else; he didn't know if he could take any more of this. But just as he was about to get up from this chair and seek the darkness and solitude of his own bedroom his mom's hands reached across the table and covered his.

"Sweetheart, it's going to be okay," she said in that soothing voice, repeating the mantra that had always calmed him down as a child. But it only made him that much more conscious of the fact that his childhood was now truly over. "It breaks my heart to see you suffer like this. I'd do anything to make it all go away for you, but I can't. All I can do is to be here and listen to you when you need someone to listen, and support you in every way I can."

She squeezed his hands, and waited for a reaction. He didn't know what to say to tell her that he knew all this. It felt like she already knew this. He pulled his right hand out of her grasp and ran his sleeve across his eyes, wiping away the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes.

"But I'm your mom, Finn, and I know some things are awkward to tell to moms," she continued, and he could hear the gravity in her voice lift slightly. He knew that if he looked up he'd see a smile on her lips. So he tried to make an effort, for her, even if it felt like his face was a perpetually frozen mask. "It's times like these I wish more than anything your father was still alive. But he isn't, so… I thought this might help you. Write it all down. Get it all out. No one needs to see it, you can just let go of everything, no matter how horrible."

He stared at the black book once more, and chewed the inside of his lip. He'd never been much for writing things down.

She knew him too well. "This isn't an assignment, Finn. I just want you to have some way to get through this. Try it out – if you don't feel it helps at all, then that's okay. Just promise me you'll try, sweetheart."

He nodded, his head feeling as heavy as his heart. "Okay," he said, barely able to choke out the word.

He had no opinion about it either way, really. It might have been a stupid idea, or not. He just felt numb right now – it was as if her words had calmed him to the point where all he felt was the need for sleep. So he picked up the black book lying before him, and got off the chair, walked with leaden steps to the stairs.

"Finn?" his mother's voice called after him when he'd just got to the first step. He turned his head a little. "I love you."

He nodded, and walked on up.

. . .

A/N #2:

This is an experiment in such: I'm going to give the choice of topics to you readers. I might every now and then throw in one that I want to do because I liked a particular scene, but I'm going to leave it up to everyone else to suggest the other topics. This could be anything from the Glee episodes to completely random and mundane events (as long as they realistically fit in). I might not always manage to accommodate everyone's wishes, but I'll try. You can submit your choices by posting them as a review or sending me a message to .com .

As such I've got to add that the first few entries are going to be my choice. They're also going to be short, since Finn is going to have a few doubts about doing this. They're not necessarily going to deal with any particular events past Sectionals yet.

Feel free to give me as many suggestions as you like – all I'm asking is that they fit in, and aren't too outlandish. So hit the review button and send in those opinions/suggestions!