"Ron, look out!" Link yelled, slicing his blade across a leathery hide of the green koopa ahead of him. The whole shell popped away and spun like a top in air. Tifa jumped toward the wall on her right, kicked off and caught the shell mid flip. "Gotcha! Hey Gandalf, think fast!" The white wizard already knew what she had in mind. His entanglement spell was already in full swing as he caught the spinning shell, trapping Barbarossa in a mass of prickly vines. "Hmmph" Barbarossa grunted, suprised by the mage's skill. "Sephiroth, Ganondorth, Sesshomaru! Looks like we'll be havin' ourselves a fish fry t'night! cue pirates theme
Just then, Ron got hungry. "I have to go eat, but first I have to go to the bathroom." So he left and went, but before he made it to the door, it was a pirate that stopped him.But pirates are way better than ninjas, but not wizards, but not ninjas either, because Ask a Ninja came and beat up the pirate. It turned out that it was Jack Sparrow! But they didn't know that Jack ran out of time to toy with Ron, as a fist made out of stone and steel burst from the concrete between them.
Out of the 100 mile crater rose a 10 foot figure, with legs thick as redwoods, and a hat long and tall like a steamboat pipe. In fact, it was a steam pipe, from the greatest steam engine of all, which powers the manliest man of all, robo-Abraham Lincoln!! An F5 tornado instantly appeared at the center's epicenter as Robo-Abe drew in a single breath. All manner of bovines and shiny aluminum trailers helplessly whirled into the vortex. Suddenly the chaos stopped, as Robo-Abe got ready to speak. "4 SCORE AND 7 YEARS AGO..." Robo-Abe's epic voice boomed "...WILL BE HOW FAR BACK IN TIME YOU'LL LAND AFTER I KICK EVERYONE'S SORRY BEHINDS!"
Now you must take a moment to appreciate robo-Abraham Lincoln. robo-Abraham Lincoln was powered by steam and also by the coal that made the steam by getting hot. It takes 32 Ninjas and 7 pirates to operate robo-Abraham Lincoln. He has a face like Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States during the Civil war period where he freed slaves from picking cotton in South of the United States. Abraham Lincoln was killed by John Wilkes Booth, but Robo-Abraham Lincoln will not be killed... and that is why it was so dangerous when the robo-Abraham Lincoln appeared.
"Hey, how long have you been keeping this gem under wraps, Yuna?!" Rikku yelled as she dodged cut after cut tornado thrown grade-A beef. Yuna gave her a nervous smile "Oh, I found him on Alderaan, but I think I might have made a mistake accepting an offer from a creepy looking guy in a red turbin. He had the most annoying red parrot with him too." Little did they know, on the other side of Gaia, there was suddenly an explosion. Then there was a earthquake, and a great crack appeared. All of them stopped and from the cracks emerged a large monster.
The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers appeared, "Megazord!" they yelled. They changed big enough to fight the monster. It turned out... to their horror... it was not just a normal monster... but it was Leviathan the great serpent spoken of in Final Fantasy games... and oh yeah, the Bible, too. The megazord immediately drew it's sword, knowing this fight would not be any ordinary saturday morning bout. Each swipe was effortlessly deflected by the Leviathan's impenetrable hide. "Jason! We need more firepower!" Trini exclaimed. "Right!" Jason yelled "everyone! Use your Instruments of Saturday Morning Summoning!"
A music medly that can only be described as part awesome 80's hair-metal guitar riff and part my candy mountain theme song swept the land. 5 powerful instruments played as 5 grand beams of light appeared in front of the Megazord. Suddenly a bright flash appeared and the shafts were gone. In their place were 5 summoned heroes, the greatest saturday morning comrades ever amassed standing side by side: Voltron the lion defender. Stawberry shortcake, commanding her giant shortcake of shortcakeyness and doom, 2 million smurfs clingling on to each other forming some kind of smurf...moster...thing, Optimus prime (the old school one, with really bad animation) and finally...Thomas the tank engine. That's right, Thomas the tank engine.
Leviathan was not unnerved, because his boss was Odin, the great Norse God who always appears in every single world, because he is always the master of all. (Odin knew that his only weakness was not hordes of giant creatures, nor was it small blue men pretending to be giants, but in fact it was a small party of about 3 to 5 losers who through process of time become heroes and venture to his throne and slay him in an epic battle) So Leviathan got his friend Odin on his cell phone and Odin came smashing down about 3 microseconds later, and this flashy light spectacle was even more amazing than what the Power Rangers did, cooler than the mainstreet electrical Parade, but not quite as cool as the Fantasmic Light Spectacular (Assuming you stay for the fireworks show). So needless to say, it was amazing.
Then Odin got his friend Bahamut to appear, too. Now with the three of them, they were unmatched. Voltron used his sword and wounded Leviathan. The Smurfs took off Odin's shoes and got them soggy in the ocean, (where the Snorks took them and legend says they turned the shoes into a space ship, and that's how they moved to another galaxy later) and then Strawberry Shortcake scared Bahamut away, and he kind of wimpers like a puppy. Optimus Prime kicked butt, but he only had one animation frame before he attacked, and one after and none in-between, so his attack went through Odin, but didn't contact him once in the middle. It was amazing. If you want to know what happened to Thomas the Train, well, he ran off to get more help, and Ringo Starr soothed them all with music as Thomas left. Except that Odin smashed them all a moment later, and they had to spend the night at the infirmary. Now the only one that could save the world... Was Thomas the Train, and Ringo Starr.
They came back with the one who was prophesied that could save them... A small monochromatic boy in jammies, named Harold... With his magic Purple Crayon. Odin coveted the purple crayon, for if he had it, he could make anything just by drawing a picture of it. Harold held the power. "Give me the Crayon!" Said Odin. Ringo narrated, "Don't give it to him, Harold! You must do something to save us!" But instead, Harold drew a cute puppy, and a bunny rabbit, because all Harold wanted was a cute and loving friend. Odin, unfazed by the adorable critters, yelled again "Give me the cra--" BOOM
The sound of canon fire filled the air, followed by a whizzing sound. The startled stares were interrupted by a loud crash in front of Harold. A small, samurai-cat like figure emerged from the dust. The glint of the white armor was unmistakable. It was Speedy Cerviche. He took one step forward "YOU...SHALL...NOT...P--" "HEY! That's MY line!" Gandalf interrupted, "Well, then..." said Speedy, "By all means..." "YOU... SHALL... NOT... PAAAAAASS!!" shouted Gandalf. "Okay," he said, "continue." Gandalf took a step back, and Speedy rushed forward yelling "YAAAAA!" Speedy charged. No one budged. They were all looking at the shadow that fell across the land.
He looked up and saw the sun disappear by a black disc that was growing larger by the second. Within moments the everything in sight was covered in darkness. Gandalf suddenely realized but it was already too late. He whispered under his breath "oh shi--" but his last words were cut off as Snorlax's immense girth sat upon the earth
A giant comet was summoned by the shaking earth. It passed by Pluto, and Neptune, and that other little planet before Pluto that was only recently named, and Jupiter, and Saturn, and Mars, and Mercury, and then it hit Sol... the Great Sun. Sol burst a giant flame back, it passed by Venus, and charged into Gaia, threatening all with death. Pippin and Frodo were captured by Snorlax, Pippin was covered in spiderwebs. "Now you know what it's like!" said Frodo, pointing at the gooey spiderwebs.
But the world was in danger. Gandalf said, "Frodo, you have to go back to Mount Mordor and reforge the One Ring, it's the only power that can stop the flaming Comet!!" But Frodo didn't know how to make fancy jewelry, so he made a simple golden chicken, and placed in on a pendant, and wore it, and the pendant shone, but the chicken came to life, with the mind of Sauron, and Golem, combined, in a terrible Three-way Skitzofrenia. Frodo needed to fight a battle in his mind, and Sam had gone off to college to be able to get a job that would pay enough for his new family of 27 hobbit children, so Frodo would go crazy without Sam. So only the mighty Psychonauts could help Frodo now, and they were riding a bullet train to make it in time... but could they make it in time?