Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, things would be going differently if I did.
Finn didn't usually have trouble getting to sleep, but the triple cheeseburger he'd downed after his regular December 23rd Christmas shopping marathon may have had something to do with it. It took him forever to drift off...
Suddenly Finn found himself watching what appeared to be another version of himself standing at the front door of Tina's house. Okay, the burger followed by back to back viewings of both the Muppet and Disney versions of A Christmas Carol had definitely been a bad idea.
He watched as Tina opened the door.
"Merry Christmas, Finn! How are you doing this year?" She asked.
Finn watched this other-Finn and Tina on the porch. Something was different, but he couldn't quite figure it out. He was used to not being able to figure things out though, and this whole thing was kind of weird anyhow so he just kept watching.
"Merry Christmas, Tina. Who else is here?" asked other-Finn.
"Everyone! You know nobody will miss a reunion today. Come in, we were waiting for you," she said as she pulled not-him by the arm down a tastefully decorated hallway into the Cohen-Chang family room.
Finn shrugged and followed along behind them, taking in both the overly festive decorations and his friends. He saw not-him nod to Artie, who was fiddling with the laptop and speakers providing the music for the party. Puck and Rachel were playing cards, probably euchre, with Quinn and Sam at the table. He couldn't help but linger on Brittany and Santana who were too busy under the mistletoe to notice him. He didn't see Kurt, but he figured the other boy had just spent too long getting dressed and would be arriving in time to make a grand entrance. He smiled to himself and turned his attention back to the room. After dropping other-Finn's arm Tina had hurried into the kitchen where Mike was waiting to help her bring out the food.
Both Finns seemed to notice Mercedes at the same time. She was sitting by herself in the corner armchair half staring at the Christmas tree, but mostly just staring into space. Everyone looked a little different, but Mercedes just looked miserable so Finn was glad when his double headed in her direction and perched on the arm of the chair. He moved closer so he could listen and hopefully figure out why everyone looked different.
"How are you 'Cedes?" other-Finn asked, squeezing her shoulder. Apparently this other-Finn and different Mercedes had gotten close.
She got that look, like she was going to tell him how dumb he was for asking, but then she gave him a half smile instead.
"It's been three years, Finn. I know I should be ready to party, I know that's what he'd want. But it isn't the same without him here to mock everyone's tacky Christmas lights and sing trashy Christmas pop songs with me."
Something about this was just not right. He thought maybe his other self looked older, so did everyone else. He couldn't be sure who Mercedes was talking about, but the feeling in his stomach gave him a pretty good idea that she meant Kurt and it sounded like...but it couldn't be. Kurt was at home in his room, resting before he drove to Columbus tomorrow to visit his mother's family for the holidays. Before he could get anymore information from their conversation Rachel clapped her hands and started to address the room.
"Fellow former glee-clubbers" Former? So they were older, but how old were they? He listened as Rachel continued, "As we are all aware we have gathered here on Christmas Eve to remember our friend Kurt who we lost five years ago tonight. He, like myself, was incredibly talented and our duet was sure to bring us victory at Regionals had he not been taken from us in a tragic car accident. Everyone lift your glass for a toast to Kurt." The brunette raised her glass and the others did the same, other-Finn pulling Mercedes up and putting one arm around her shoulders while lifting his glass with the other. "To Kurt!" his friends repeated. Finn had seen enough, he had to get out of there.
Finn woke up in a cold sweat. He'd had a dream that Kurt was dead, that he had died on Christmas Eve. He sat up and turned on the bedside lamp trying to put together what had happened. He wasn't that good at focusing and remembering things, but he was determined to figure it out. He couldn't explain why he thought the dream was important, why he believed it was more than just a dream. Maybe he was crazy, but he wasn't willing to take the chance. With a deep breath he took himself step by step through what he had seen, until he got to dream-Rachel's speech. She said they'd been planning on a duet for Regionals when it happened. Finn dove for wastebasket by his desk and emptied his stomach as the pieces clicked together. Kurt had been practicing his part of that duet around the house for weeks. Five years before his dream was this year. If Finn didn't do something Kurt was going to die tomorrow.
He tried to calm himself, taking deep breaths like Coach had taught him before free-throws. He needed a plan, but a better plan than he usually came up with. He could almost hear Quinn's voice in his head telling him he was going to mess up, but he pushed it aside. He couldn't screw this up, he'd screwed up a lot with Kurt in the last couple months and this was another chance to make it up to him. It could be his only chance.
Finn grabbed the robe his mom had bought him when they had moved back in with the Hummels and headed upstairs. His mom was smart; she would know what to do. He got to the door of his mom and Burt's room and stopped dead. He seriously hoped he knocked loud enough. Santana teased him about his lack of experience, but even he knew what newlyweds got up to. In Finn's opinion all the brain bleach in the world wouldn't be enough if walked in on that.
He heard his mother's hazy voice "Come in?" Finn entered, but put his hand in front of his eyes and peeked between his fingers to keep from seeing anything. Carole sighed, "Finn, honey. It's fine. We were sleeping. Are you okay? It's the middle of the night."
"It's Kurt, mom. Something bad is gonna happen." He blurted out. As soon as the words left his mouth his mom was sitting up and Burt was on his feet. "What's wrong? Where is he? Is he drinking again? "said the older man already pushing past Finn to the door.
"No! Wait. He's okay right now. " Finn said, putting a hand on Burt's shoulder to stop him from waking up Kurt. He knew had to focus, but some of what Burt said bothered him. Sure Kurt had gotten a little messed up when that crazy April lady was around, but he wouldn't do that again. Did Burt know something he didn't? This brother stuff was hard.
"I had this dream, and Kurt was dead, and it's going to happen tomorrow and we have to stop it!" Finn said. Burt dropped back on the bed and his mother motioned for him to come over to her side. When he got there she gave him a hug and said "You had a bad dream, kiddo. That's all. I'm glad you care so much about your stepbrother, but he'll be fine. He's going to visit his aunt in Columbus tomorrow and then we'll have a great first Christmas as a family."
"But.." he tried to protest, but Burt cut him off.
"Seriously kid, you know I'm the first one to jump in to protect Kurt, but it was just a dream. Try and get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning. We all will, " the older man's tone was firm, but Finn could tell he appreciated Finn worrying about Kurt. He knew he wasn't going to convince them.
"I'm sorry about waking you guys up, it just felt so real." He said and headed back to his room.
Finn couldn't go back to sleep, even if his mom and Burt didn't believe him he was sure he had to do something. He still needed help with a plan though. Other than Kurt, Rachel was the smartest person he knew. Too bad she wasn't speaking to him. Yes, technically they had broken up because he lied about sleeping with Santana, but he wasn't all that sad about it. He was starting to think he mostly dated Rachel because it was easy. Not that she was easy, he was still the king of cold showers, but he hadn't had to chase her or do much of anything and having a girlfriend was pretty sweet sometimes. Especially when she baked him cookies.
He was tempted to try calling Mr. Schue, but he wasn't sure how he would explain that to his mom and Burt. Okay, thinking about Mr. Schue in bed really wasn't helping him focus on a plan. Mercedes was in New York visiting family, and he didn't need her freaking out too. Artie! Artie was smart and would probably pick up the phone. Finn texted him:
Finn: Hey dude, 911. Had a dream where Kurt was dead and he dies in accdnt tmrw. Got 2 do smthn!
Artie: Finn, its 3am go back to sleep.
Finn: No man, I'm serious, what should I do?
Artie's head flopped back to his pillow and he texted Finn the first thing that came to mind.
Artie: Lock him in a closet or something and let me go back to sleep.
Finn: Finally somebody believes me. I'm on it!
Artie had already fallen back asleep, unaware that Finn would take him seriously.
Finn caught his breath for the first time since he woke up. He had a plan! Or rather, Artie had a plan but he'd follow through. All he needed to do was keep Kurt home tomorrow no matter what. A closet would be too small, but the door to Kurt's basement room locked with one of those old fashioned keys. They always just left it in the lock so Kurt could have privacy when he needed it. Kurt's room was comfortable and it had a bathroom attached. That was important, Finn figured, if he wasn't going to let Kurt leave.
First, Finn got dressed in some sweatpants and his McKinley Basketball shirt. He might as well be comfortable. Next, he slipped into the kitchen being careful not to wake the adults. He grabbed one of his mom's reusable shopping bags and started filling it with soda including some diet for Kurt, Christmas cookies, and some sandwiches from the leftover pot roast in the fridge. He grabbed the food and slipped downstairs into Kurt's room. He set the food on the desk and very carefully picked up Kurt's phone taking both it and his own phone upstairs and putting them in the junk drawer in the kitchen. Their parents were heading out to cut down a real Christmas tree tomorrow and he didn't want Kurt calling them to be let out. Closing the door to the basement behind him he locked it and pocketed the key. Convinced that he had saved Kurt he stretched out on the basement sofa and went to sleep.
"Finn Hudson would you please explain what the hell you are doing in my bedroom?"
Finn rolled himself off the couch and looked up at Kurt. The other boy did not look like he was in the holiday spirit.
"You can't go anywhere today, it's not safe." he told Kurt.
"What are you talking about Finn, I'm going to visit my Aunt Linda in Columbus today."
"You can't. Something bad is going to happen if you leave." Kurt sighed and Finn could tell he was losing his temper.
"You don't tell me what to do Finn, I'll see you after dinner to decorate the tree! I need coffee."
Finn thought it was probably easiest to let Kurt find out about the door himself, so he just watched the other boy storm up the steps. He cringed a bit when Kurt didn't slow down, expecting to push open the door and nearly running into it when it didn't open. He saw Kurt look to the keyhole and turn around slowly. "Finn" he said, in that voice Finn recognized that people used when they thought he was being kind of dumb, "where is the key to my room?"
Finn didn't let the tone get to him. He knew he was right on this one. He wasn't going to give in and let Kurt put himself in danger.
"In a safe place," he said, happy he remembered not to tell Kurt it was in his pocket in case he got jumped for it, and not in a good way. Oh, crap. There it was again. He wasn't going to think about that. Not now.
"Finn you have about ten seconds to get over here and open the door before I start screaming for my dad. Do you want to go down that road again?"
"Geez Kurt, I'm trying to help here. Besides, our parents went out to find us a Christmas tree. They went to Findlay so they could have some time to themselves. They won't be home until dinner."
Kurt seemed to deflate, and Finn figured he probably wasn't going to start screaming or scratch his eyes out. He watched as the smaller boy sat down on the edge of the couch and pointed at the armchair where he expected Finn to sit. Finn shrugged and sat down. Kurt was pinching the bridge of his nose like he was trying not to get a headache. Mr. Schue did that too. Finn was starting to notice a lot of people did that around him.
Kurt spoke quietly, "Okay Finn, please explain to me exactly why you are holding me hostage on Christmas Eve."
Finn managed is trademark grin, he knew full well it still had a little power over Kurt, "I'm not holding you hostage, although that would be cool, like an action movie or something. I could ask for a dozen pizzas or Ohio State tickets or something."
"Focus Finn!" Kurt said, waving his hand in front of Finn's face.
"Oh right. Sorry. So, I had this dream and it was the future and we were all a bit older and at this party at Tina's house. Everyone was there but you. Brittany and Santana were making out under the mistletoe, it was really hot."
"Finn!" He could hear the warning in his step-brother's voice.
"Dude, I'm trying. This was scary. So before I could find out where you were Rachel jumps up and gives one of her speeches and at first I'm all confused but then she says that we are all together to honor your memory and that you died in horrible accident on Christmas Eve before you could sing your duet at Regionals. That's how I knew it was going to happen today!"
Kurt sighed, "I appreciate how seriously you are taking your promise to watch out for me, Finn but I'll be fine."
"But what if you aren't. I can't let that happen. I.." Finn stopped, he'd almost let something slip and he couldn't do that to Kurt. He knew Blaine and his stepbrother weren't dating, at least not yet, but he'd promised himself he wouldn't do anything to mess that up. As long as Kurt was happy he wouldn't complicate things.
"I couldn't face your dad if I let something happen to you." Well, that was also true.
He should have known Kurt was not so easily fooled. Kurt's head tilted, "That's not what you were going to say. Finn, did Karofsky let you get hit again during football practice. You have been acting weird since the wedding."
"No Kurt, I was acting weird before the wedding. I'm not going to make any excuses for that, but you don't know how hard it was for me. Other than the week you dated Brittany you've always known who you are."
"Finn, I'm not sure what you are trying to say."
"Never mind, it's not important."
"Finn, part of this brother thing means we can talk about stuff, and I know that we haven't always..." He cut Kurt off quickly, "Don't say that! The brothers thing. We aren't really brothers."
Finn knew he'd blurted out the wrong thing again when he saw the change that came over Kurt. The other boy looked like he'd been hit for a split second, and then took on his "I'm better than you" look. The look Finn was beginning to understand meant he was really upset. He reached out and put a hand on Kurt's shoulder, refusing to move it when the other boy tried to pull away. "No, you don't understand!"
Kurt shrugged off his arm and stood, facing the wall so Finn couldn't see his expression. The quarterback could see how Kurt's shoulders slumped, how defeated he looked and it killed him. When Kurt finally spoke there it was almost too quiet to be heard, "Then explain it to me Finn. Explain why you don't want to be my brother!" He just couldn't let Kurt suffer any longer thinking Finn didn't want him in his life when it was completely the opposite.
"Because you aren't supposed to want to kiss your brother!". He made himself look at Kurt. The other boy had turned to face him, and was just staring at him. It was kind of freaking him out. "Dude, say something. I understand if you want me to leave you alone. I kind of blew my chance and you would probably rather get with that Blaine guy who already knows what to do and what he is and everything."
Kurt blew out a big breath, "Finn, how long have you been thinking about this?" Finn could feel himself blushing.
"Well, the dreams started over the summer. I was freaked out by the time school started, but mostly because I felt like I was cheating on Rachel and after what Quinn did to me I felt like jerk."
Kurt shook his head, "Okay, I know that the last year has been kind of crazy for you, and I'm glad that we've gotten to be friends, but do you think maybe your brain is just getting confused?"
Finn thought for a minute. People usually assumed he didn't know what he was talking about but there was something in Kurt's voice that told him this was different, like the other boy was scared. Well, if it helped he might as well be totally honest.
"It's not like you're the only guy I had dreams about. Do you know how flexible Mike is? And there was Brady Quinn, and Mr. Schue, and even one about Jesse," Finn shuddered, "But you're the one I want to kiss while I'm awake."
Kurt had been making faces detailing his opinion on most of those options while Finn was explaining, and Finn was relieved to see the other boy look less angry at his last statement. Kurt came back over to where Finn was standing and dropped on the couch.
"Finn, that is both disturbing and strangely comforting at the same time." This still wasn't the response Finn had been expecting, but Kurt hadn't told him to go to hell yet either. He sat on the couch next to the smaller boy, careful to leave a decent amount of space between them.
"I thought, or at least I'd hoped, that you would be happier about this." Finn said, wishing Kurt would explain what he was thinking because he didn't have clue.
"I want to be, Finn, but I have to be sure you are ready for this. There is a lot at stake here. More than just two teenagers fooling around who can ignore each other if it doesn't work out. You don't just wake up gay Finn." Kurt said.
"That's what I thought!" Finn said. "So I went to see Ms. Pillsbury. I mean, under the circumstances getting advice from Mr. Schue would be weird and Ms. P has these awesome cookies in her office around the holidays." Finn spared a moment to think about the cookies, before dragging his brain back to the conversation. "So I told her what was going on and she explained that I could still like boobs and like you and it's called being bisexual which I kind of always thought was something girls did but now I get how guys might be too and I think that's what I am." Finn couldn't help but check Kurt's reaction, he'd been pretty proud of himself when he started to understand all this and he hoped he'd explained it right. Kurt was smiling! Score! He should keep going. "I didn't think it was cool to tell you because you were so happy when Blaine is around, but then I thought something terrible might happen and that I might lose you and well, here we are."
Kurt reached over and took his hand, and Finn's whole body got warmer at the gesture. It gave him enough control to stay quiet and wait for Kurt to absorb everything. Finally the other boy looked up at him.
"So you're pretty sure you are bisexual?"
Finn nodded.
"And you want to kiss me?"
"And probably more, but you'll have to give me some direction there. My google search didn't go so well and I was too chicken to ask Ms. Pillsbury if she had any pamphlets." Kurt looked like he was trying not to laugh now, but not in a mean way.
"And you are sure it's not Jesse St. James you should be having this conversation with?"
Finn started to defend himself, but then he realized that Kurt was teasing him. That had to be a good sign right? Finn scooted closer to Kurt on the couch and gave him the smile that always worked on Quinn and Rachel.
"So can I? Kiss you, I mean?" Kurt nodded and Finn closed the gap between them, at first just brushing his lips across the other boy's but quite happily responding when Kurt pressed harder and it turned into one of those kisses that could melt your insides. When they finally took a breath Finn stayed with his forehead leaning against Kurt's and grinned.
"Yep, definitely bisexual," Finn said and Kurt laughed, "Good to know," he said. Finn hoped he didn't break the moment, but he had to ask. "So what about Blaine?"
Kurt smiled, "Do you know why Blaine and I have stayed just friends? Because he's not you, Finn. It's always been you." Finn could feel himself smiling even bigger if that was possible, and he eased himself back on the couch, pulling Kurt up against his side, "Good to know."
The two boys rested like that for a few minutes, just enjoying the closeness until Kurt seemed to remember what had started all this in the first place.
"So you really have no intention of letting me out of my room today?" Kurt asked. The question snapped Finn out of the haze he had been in since the kiss. Kurt was still in danger, and now that Kurt was his it was totally his responsibility to keep him safe.
"I can't Kurt. It's too big a risk. I got us food and we have a bathroom. If you promise to spend the day here with me I'll even go get your phone so you can tell your aunt you can't make it."
Kurt nodded, and cuddled deeper into Finn's side, "I still think you are overreacting, but I can honestly say I'm not interested in being anywhere else today."
That was good enough for Finn. Not only was Kurt going to be safe but they could spend the day together. "Why don't you get dressed and I'll go get your phone. Then we can watch a movie? I have A Christmas Story."
"We've seen that half dozen times already this year!" Kurt protested.
Finn just grinned, "Yeah, so it doesn't matter if we don't pay much attention to the movie"
"Oh." said Kurt. Finn thought he was very cute when he blushed.