Well, this is a crack pairing if I ever knew one. I'm not sure whether this is a cargo ship or not. They're not really characters, so they're not original characters, but you'll get it when you get to the end. This was written during the same "Yu-gi-oh: The Abridged Series" binge that inspired a chapter from one of my other stories (A Black Dragon Romance, also crackfic). I'm not even sure what else to say about this, except I hope it's funny and I hope it makes some sense.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh.
530 words without author's notes.
The Only Canon Kaiba Pairing
They were quickly learning that waiting was not one of their favorite activities.
Eight men huddled uncomfortably on a long blue couch. They sat in twos, close enough to carry on a conversation, but were silent. The blindingly white hall, carpet, and light streaming in from the windows were not at all reassuring. Neither was the huge poster of the white dragon staring them down with his blue eyes. Their blue jerseys (the same shade as the dragon's eyes, in fact) were a step up from their previous nudity.
They'd all received a note that looked like someone's terrible Photoshop job-until they realized it was actually letters cut out from magazines and pasted. They hadn't seen an old-school ransom note since snail mail had gone out of style, but they weren't about to comment on the sender's style of communication, especially not after reading the note:
"Dear Sirs,
It's time for our weekly appointment. You know what I mean. Be at my estate or else.
Love, Seto Kaiba."
They were pretty sure the "love" part was sarcastic, though.
Their blue jerseys were numbered two to nine on the chest. The one closest to the door wore a large white "two." The one furthest wore a "nine." "One" was presently behind the locked door to the right of the chairs.
"What do you think he's going to do to us this time?" Four asked no one in particular.
"Well, last time, he told us to get bent and expect us to come back bearing the results of it." Six shuddered. "I'd hate to think he'd check for that."
"I'm not even entirely sure what that meant," Five scratched his head.
"The time before that, he told us he was going to break us all…"
They all gulped in perfect unison. They collectively hoped he wasn't planning to do that to them this time.
"You know, now that I think about it, I'm not even really sure how we came to be here at all," Six continued.
"We were flown in an hour ago." Seven rolled his eyes.
"Not like that. Do any of you have any memory of existing before two weeks ago?"
They all thought hard. Smoke began to stream from Five's ears. After a while, they all shook their heads.
"Why don't we remember existing before? It's as if we never existed," Eight mused aloud.
"I kind of feel like I did, but I was obliterated," Nine replied.
"I wonder if anyone could help us figure ourselves out," Two picked at his jersey absently.
Just then, the door swung open. One staggered out, his jersey askew with a big sloppy grin on his face. He plunked himself down on the end of the couch next to Nine.
"What happened to you?" Nine asked. The others listened intently.
"You would not believe…" One trailed off before sliding off the couch and falling flat on his face.
The door opened again and a half naked (they assumed, since they certainly weren't going to look lower than his head and shoulders) Kaiba leaned out. He smirked broadly and looked down at the man closest to the door. "You're next, Rule Number Two."
The End