A/N: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, but her characters are fun to play with so I'm making them do my bidding for the foreseeable future. Jasper as the God of War and Peter 'just knowing shit' are ideas that belong to IDreamofEddy.

An enormous thank you to my beta and friend Laurie Whitlock, and Shelljayz, my sister, who is both a pre-reader and beta.

Whereas chapter 20 kind of skips over what happens right after Jasper gets back to Forks, this covers those events ... particularly those that coincide with Bella's morgue experience and her time in the stable.

oOo

September 2080

Sunday

JPOV

The drive from Texas to Washington wasn't pleasant. The prospect of returning to Forks was about as appealing to me as Emmett treating the second floor of the house like a fuckin' boy's locker room. He did treat the second floor of the house like a boy's locker room and neither stabbing myself in the eyes nor whipping out the brain bleach did a thing to erase those visuals.

Peter and Charlotte opted to ride in Peter's Impala, knowing I needed the time to myself. Once we got home, I would get very little of it as well as next to no break from the assault of everyone's emotions; the emotions of eight individuals and four fuckin' mated couples. They were tagging along to keep an eye on me but they still knew and respected my boundaries. Of anyone, they could push me the farthest but I had my limits, even with them. They didn't want to push me at all … yet.

Just give them time, I sighed in irritation. The two of them meant well but they were fuckin' annoying sometimes.

The family had left me alone while I'd been on my impromptu road trip thanks to Alice, but as soon as I pulled my Mustang into the garage that would be over. It wasn't unusual for me to take off for a few days. They didn't try to stop me per se, but they never just let me go without a word either. Alice's convincing them all to let me be and do what I needed to do sans comment on the matter was an anomaly. That meant things would be doubly gooey when I got home. Peter and Charlotte coming to visit would take the edge off some but I was still in for a mush fest with a side of sap, and I was sure Esme would smother me in hugs. I especially wasn't in the mood to be touched. I would let her, but I was not looking forward to it.

Needless to say, the further away from Texas I drove the more uneasy I got. Truthfully, the uneasiness had been mounting since I left Louisville. Even then I'd been dreading heading back home, despite my detour to Pete and Char's place. I had no doubt Alice would be on my ass the second I walked through the door, demanding I tell her why I had blocked her visions. It was yet another thing I didn't want to deal with.

The family did not disappoint.

oOo

Pete, Char and I got to the house just after 11:00 pm, cutting the forty hour drive from Texas by nearly two-thirds, and were greeted enthusiastically almost before we'd even exited our cars. Esme had hugs for all of us just as I'd predicted. It was Emmett's greeting that threw me off the most. He'd practically ripped the door off my Mustang, grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me in for a hug that would have had me doubting his sexuality if I hadn't been privy to so many of his and Rose's sexual exploits over the years.

I stood there stiffly, like a stone statue, my fists slowly clenching tighter and tighter. Part of me was amused at Emmett's display and the emotions he was giving off: relief, exasperation, impatience, a good-natured sort of horror, and his typical mischief. The other part wanted to rip him to pieces for getting into my personal space without giving me a chance to adequately prepare for it. I expected hugs from the women but Em and Edward never ventured further than one of those manly hybrid handshake/hug maneuvers that never brought a guy's balls into question. This was new. Any other time, I may have wholeheartedly found it amusing but the reprieve from Paige Donnelly's ghost Peter and Charlotte's presence granted me while we were in Texas had diminished some on the drive back to Forks, and I was still feeling uneasy, especially since my dread over the mushy affection was starting sooner than I'd expected and was coming from all sides instead of just the ones I'd anticipated.

"Thank God you're home, dude," Em said, tone displaying his relief as he squeezed me tighter. The closer circumference of his encircling arms was stifling, restricting, and I was so, so close to snapping, ripping those arms of his off and beating him with them. I did not want this, to rip into my brother, but that was the feeling that was nearly overwhelming me.

Peter and Charlotte's keen gazes were on me, studying. Alice and Edward were watching me curiously but from their confusion, they didn't have any idea what was going on with me. No one else paid my reticence any mind. My dislike of touching was no secret. This pleased me but the thought that I would have preferred a slim, soft, warm set of arms struck me just after this. I gritted my teeth and nearly growled, ignoring the little thrill it brought. If I wasn't a vampire I would have ground my teeth down to nubs because of her.

I did my best to force all this from my mind and cocked a questioning brow at Emmett.

"Carlisle was at the hospital the majority of the time you were gone. Then he got snatched away to a medical conference in Chicago yesterday. Ali-Cat poon dazzled Eddie the moment you left," he explained with a sigh. "I have been surrounded by estrogen for nearly six days, Jazz, six damn days!"

Surprisingly, Rosalie was not offended by her mate's comment, observing our interaction casually but with no pity.

That's my Rose, I smirked.

I lost my focus on my uneasiness after that, unable not to get caught up in amusement over Emmett's complaint.

Edward scoffed. "Says the guy whose balls Rosalie proudly displays in a Mason jar on the shelf above your bed."

Rose joined me in my smirking, everyone did, which I found fuckin' hilarious.

Emmett shrugged. "I'm pussy whipped. I would never claim otherwise but you took a goddamn text message during a Grizzly bear hunt, Ed! No self-respecting man, er, vampire, interrupts the sanctity of a Grizzly bear hunt by taking a text message from their girl, pussy whipped or not!" Edward rolled his eyes but Emmett missed it because he'd turned back to me. "I am in dire need of some testosterone and you brought Pete home with you! You're a god!"

"Careful, Em," I chided, "or we might start to think you've absorbed some of that estrogen."

Everyone snickered and Emmett scowled. "Fuck you, Jazz."

"No thanks, that's Rosie's job," I returned without missing a beat.

The snickering morphed into full-blown laughter, me joining in, and then the rest of the hugging and "welcome homes" commenced. I still didn't like it but it was easier than before.

oOo

It was three o'clock in the morning and I was out hunting. I hadn't gone for days, since day two of my trip when I'd passed through Colorado. I was thirsty as hell. I may have been doing well managing my bloodlust now, but I'd still waited way too fuckin' long.

I was tracking a mountain lion, had been for a mile, and was eager to close the deal. Despite this, I needed the hunt, to test my predatory skill. It wasn't much of a test and it wouldn't be a satisfying fight, but I couldn't be picky. I needed the stress relief, no matter how minimal, after all the shit that had gone down in the last days.

The mountain lion's instincts had yet to alert it to my presence. I was traveling down wind but I was about to change that. I wanted the animal to know I was there, that the predator was being tracked by one even greater than itself. I wanted its fear, its panic, to kick in its survival instinct. First I wanted the flight, the chase, to stretch my legs though it wouldn't be to their full capacity. Then I wanted, no craved, the fight. It was cruel of me but I didn't care. It wasn't a human. I didn't have to care. Besides, this lion had recently taken a human life. I could smell it on him so I was avenging this human ... or that's what I told myself. It didn't change anything. It didn't matter. I still didn't care. I felt nothing.

The mountain lion put up a better fight than I'd hoped for. We'd rolled all over the place and clothes were ripped all to hell. Alice was going to flip her shit when she saw me ... after she pried her naked ass from Edward's. They weren't clothes she'd bought for me but it was the principle of the thing. I did not give a fuck. She could bitch all she wanted.

I was headed toward one of my favorite river rocks to veg when it hit me. My knees gave out. I caught myself before I hit the ground but couldn't keep myself from stumbling. My foot hooked under a tree root and I went sprawling into a tree. I threw my hand out to brace myself so I wouldn't land against it face first or shoulder check it and bring it down. It was the uneasiness multiplied by a thousand, so intense I drew in an unneeded breath and then lost it as it was forced from my lungs by a foreign panic. The tightness in my chest contracted, as though steel bands had wrapped around it, digging into my flesh with the harsh, unforgiving twist of a vice grip. My fingers dug into the bark of the tree, breaching the surface with cracking noises that echoed through the forest. I did drop to my knees then, my nails carving fissures into the rough flesh of the redwood as I did it, trying to keep myself on my feet. I wrapped my arms around my middle, face planting into the dirt before the tree, my cheek pressed against the damp, cool soil. My breathing came shallowly and I was dizzy and confused. I couldn't think straight. I felt sick and lost and broken.

What the fuck?

oOo

A/N: There you have it, ladies and gents! That's everything Jasper was feeling at the time of Bella's death ... if she did, in fact, die. :)

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