He Really Was Stupid

By lovefanfiction

Chapter One: Sirius

Rating: PG

Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and OC

Summary: Sirius and Remus broke up because of Sirius's roommate. Now it's up to that very roommate to put things right…even though he really detests Remus.

He really was stupid- excruciatingly stupid. Sirius, his face pressed against the table, stared along the aging wood without really seeing the mug inches from his nose. How does someone with straight O's and an incalculable number of perfectly executed pranks under his belt manage to screw up so royally? On a regular basis, no less. Sirius raised his head off the table a few centimeters before allowing it to crash back down, rattling the remains of his lunch.

Ken peeked in from the next room, worried that something might be broken this time. "Oi! Siri, come on! It's been two week-"

"My nickname is Padfoot," Sirius spat without turning to face his roommate.

Ken shook his head, relaxing back onto the couch, "You know I've never really understood that."

A painful sounding crack echoed back from the kitchen. Sighing, Ken set aside his reading and made his way into the kitchen to stand behind Sirius and wait. Moments later, Sirius lifted his head and Ken caught a handful of silky locks and yanked.

Sirius's ear-splitting yowl quickly turned to a growl, "You're not helping."

"'In fact, you're the problem,'" he growled back, mimicking Sirius's bared teeth.

"I never said that!"

"You've been thinking it, though." The sound of the chair scraping against tile was unnaturally loud as Sirius turned silently away. "Look, I'll move out-"

"No, I-"

"Have been unfair to Remus."

"What do you care? You hate him."

Ken rested his face on top of his folded hands, studying the knots in the wood before him carefully, "We've never gotten along, no…"

"Biggest understatement ever."

"Sirius. Please." Sirius turned away from the window to stare at a blank stretch of wall over Ken's right shoulder, and that was as good as it was going to get.

"But you are obviously good friends."

"I take it back; that's the biggest-"

"Sirius, do shut up. You're being obnoxious and that is the biggest understatement of all time. Now- Remus and I will never get along, but he clearly needs you. And it is evidently him or me. I don't mind moving out, and won't be unduly offended, if that's what you choose. Though: you should know that you must choose."

"Funny, that almost sounded like you were on Remus's side. Sick of me already?"

"So far in as roommates go, you're a cut above the rest. But I do not wish Remus any pain-"

"Even though you hate his guts."

"Sirius. I don't wish him any pain; you and he clearly have something. And you're an insufferable child without him. I couldn't stand him, true, but he was a bit more tolerable than you've been of late."

Sirius deflated in his chair, slamming his head back into the table. "Ah, I see. What you've failed to grasp is that Remus is very perceptive. He saw that I would have to choose, expected I did too, and thinks I've already chosen. I'll- stupid… he- ugh."

"Really?"

A weak, humorless chuckle escaped Sirius. "It's too late; he thinks I've rejected him. Thinks I've chosen a roommate over his love and all we've shared growing up and- just everything."

"Huh." What else was there to say to that?

Slam. Slam. Slam. The mug danced across the table to the tune of Sirius's self-loathing.

"Stop that, you're splashing coffee on me."

"You might as well stay, can't hurt anything now."

"Except, apparently, my favorite shirt. Excuse me."

And Ken escaped to his room, flinging his soaked shirt into a corner and sliding down the wall to contemplate this rather sticky mess. He had, as far as he could see, four options. One: leave and never look back, hope the two of them work it out, and always feel guilty and lesser for having driven them apart. Two: stay and pretend to be oblivious to the whole Remus fiasco. Three and four were variations of the first two choices that involved helping Sirius win his pet werewolf back.

Sighing, Ken stared down his dirty laundry corner, trying to figure out his best course of action. Obviously, door number two was out, as it required both enduring a very bratty, sulky Sirius and feeling like an utter shit for getting between them and then having the audacity to feign ignorance. The fourth sounded remarkably like the balancing act that had preceded these past miserable weeks.

Well, then, one thing was certain- he was leaving. And if he was going anyway, he may as well have a go at selling a werewolf on the beauty of second chances.

Grabbing a shirt from the bottom of the dirty shirt heap, he emerged. Only to find- Bang. Bang. Bang. Perhaps brain damage was partially responsible for Sirius's recent behavior.

Shaking his head, Ken decided talking to Remus would yield more progress, even as the idea made his skin crawl.

To Be Continued