(Welcome to Something to Fear. This oneshot takes place in my Twelfth Hour series, shortly after Black Inertia. This story is particularly special, as it was co-written by my wonderful friend BannerFanner. Hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as we enjoyed writing it)
The TARDIS shook like a tree in autumn, violently shedding its leaves. In the console room, the Doctor was furious, pulling levers and pushing buttons, his fingers a blur as he attended his machine.
"What's wrong, old girl?" His ancient eyes were alight. Suddenly, the floor tilted as the whole room tried to throw him to the ground. He spread his feet and held on, turning his head to the empty halls. "Sarah! Sarah, where are you?"
He pulled over the TARDIS screen and stared at it, at the blankness that had taken the place of his readings. A small crack burst through the glass, growing across. The Doctor pushed it away and reached over the controls; a sharp pain in his neck sent him reeling back, doubling over and grabbing a handle on the console to keep himself up.
"Sarah!"
His voice was lost to the roaring air, and everything went dark.
The Doctor gasped, sitting bolt upright from the floor. He looked around; everything was...normal. He still couldn't remember what had led to him being tossed about in the TARDIS; like now, he had woken up with a clouded mind and walked into the console room...yes, that was it, he was in the library with Sarah Jane! What on Gallifrey happened next? What was he missing?
He felt that stabbing pain in his neck again, as though something were burrowing under his skin. He rubbed his knuckles against it and went past the controls. The scanner readings were normal. The floor was level, as it should be. Everything was fine...totally fine. It can't have been a dream, right? It can't have been. The Doctor straightened his collar as he walked, and smoothed out the worry from his features. There was something wrong, of that he was sure - but he refused to let Sarah Jane see it on him. One thing at a time.
"Sarah, are you still in the library?" he called, hands in pockets. He poked his head through the door.
Now that didn't make a lick of sense. He screwed up his face as he walked through the doorway, pulling his hands from his pockets. No library. It was gone, replaced by yet another illuminated hallway. How could that be? The library was here only a moment ago.
He then resisted the urge to kick himself, feeling stupid; it was obvious: his good old ship was just rearranging again. Maybe if he didn't have such a bloody bad headache, he would have realised that sooner.
"You picked a fine time to move things around!" he shouted to the ceiling. The TARDIS didn't answer him, of course. He still needed to find Sarah Jane, make sure she was all right, and that wasn't going to happen if he stood here yelling.
He started to walk again, grazing his hand absently along the metal walls. He was feeling a bit dizzy, though he couldn't work out why. If only he could remember what happened before he woke up. He strained his mind trying, but the throbbing in his head only intensified. He decided he'd better wait on that. One thing at a time. The Doctor repeated it to himself like a mantra. If he got distracted now, he had no idea what might happen in this state of his.
"Sarah! Can you hear me? Sarah!" he called. His voice sounded tinny in the metal hallway, but if she was nearby she had to have heard it.
"Maybe she left…" whispered a niggling voice in the back of his mind.
"She can't have," he argued. "And she wouldn't."
"Are you sure? How do you know?"
"I've known her a very long time. We always say goodbye. Always. She wouldn't leave without saying goodbye."
"She didn't want to come in the first place," the voice hissed, "you made her. Why would she stay?"
"Because we're friends," the Doctor insisted. But why would she stay? Why really? Was that a good enough reason? He shook his head resolutely. Of course it was. The voice seemed to laugh.
"That hasn't stopped anyone before. What makes her any different?"
"Stop it," he growled. "I know my oldest friend, and she –" He stopped suddenly, realising that he was talking to himself out loud. He rubbed his forehead, then the back of his neck, where he could still feel a needle prick of pain. He must have hit his head. That was the only plausible explanation for this.
He rounded a corner, taking a second to lean against the wall.
He was winded all of a sudden, and hot. He unbuttoned the top button of his undershirt, tugging on the collar. Come to think of it, he didn't remember wearing this undershirt. Last he remembered he was wearing the white one, but this one was navy. He had definitely hit his head. The Doctor soldiered onward, eventually reaching an opening. He peeked his head in. This was it, finally, the Library – one of his favourite rooms. The walls were lined with shelf upon shelf of books – so many shelves in fact that he had lost count how many there were a long time ago. The books came from every corner of space and annual of time. He doubted he would ever read them all but he planned to try. Someday.
"Sarah, are you here?"
"Doctor?" a muffled voice replied. He turned, expecting to see his oldest friend, but saw someone else altogether.
"You..." The Doctor found himself reaching out to her, before he forced his arm back to his side. He swallowed hard, squinting at the glow that surrounded her form.
"Why are you here?"The woman smiled sadly at him, gathering her grey Victorian dress and walking forward.
"I'm always here."
"But you-"
"This isn't real, Doctor. It isn't a dream, but it's not reality either." She cupped his cheek in her hand - although he somehow couldn't feel it - and looked back at the towering bookshelves around them.
"She's waiting for you. You're worrying her. Wake up."
"Doctor!"
He blinked, and there she was. Idris had vanished, and Sarah Jane was standing before him, shaking his shoulders. He could feel her warmth, the pressure; she was real, and she was afraid.
"You have no idea what kind of day I've had," the Doctor said.
"There's-"
"Something in the TARDIS?" Sarah guided him to one of the many sofas in the library and sat him down. "I've been hearing strange noises all morning, but the library door locked down on me! I've been in here for hours!" The Doctor looked back over his shoulders, frowning. He turned back and grasped Sarah Jane's hand, his eyes wide.
"No! Not you too!""Wh...what's wrong? Doctor?"
"There is no door, Sarah; not one that can close. It's an open archway."As though on cue, Sarah Jane began to rub the back of her neck.
"But..."The Doctor grabbed her other hand, keeping her still.
"Something's playing with reality. We can't trust our eyes, Sarah. We can't trust anything around us."She looked at him, seemingly scanning his face for... something. He couldn't tell.
"You look... different," she said suspiciously.
"Whatever this is, it effects our perception, what we see, what we feel, what is real and what isn't. It's playing with our minds." He was getting angry now; he didn't take kindly to invasions. Nothing got in his TARDIS without his permission. Nothing.
The Doctor felt around in his coat for his screwdriver, pulling it out. He stood, holding it up in the air, depressing the button. A loud warble echoed through the room, and he looked at the results.
"Normal..." he muttered, "it's not a gas... unless I'm not seeing what's real. Besides, I don't think the TARDIS would just let us inhale poison without an alarm."
"What if we just can't hear it? You said we can't trust anything..." she trailed off, still eyeing him strangely.
"Don't start down that line of thinking, Sarah; all it does is lead you in paranoid circles."
"How do I know you're real then?" she asked, "If we could be hallucinating at any time?"
"Does this feel like a hallucination?" The Doctor cupped her cheek like Idris had done with him, only this time he felt the warmth of her human skin beneath his fingers, and her eyes closed slowly for a moment as she leaned into his hand.
"No…"
"There, see? Now, let me scan you so we can figure out what this is." He pulled back to point the sonic screwdriver at her.
"No! Stop!" she screamed, backing up quickly, tripping over the sofa. She fell hard onto her bottom, skittering backwards. "Doctor, don't!"
"Sarah, it's just the sonic, it's not going to hurt you!" Panic still filled her eyes.
"Can't you see it? It's a gun! You're pointing a gun at me! Please, put it down!" She backed against one of the shelves, unable to move anymore.
"It's not a gun, Sarah! It's the sonic. It's all right! Whatever's in here is messing with your head!" He moved closer, but she still recoiled.
"You're only saying that because you're not the one staring down the barrel!"He stopped, looking at his glowing tool. It looked like the sonic. It felt like the sonic. Maybe it was a gun... how could he really tell?
He shook his head, hard. He couldn't doubt himself. He didn't have a gun on board. He hated guns. No, no way was that a gun. He needed to convince her now.
"Listen to me, Sarah. Would I ever hurt you? Ever?" he asked, kneeling down to her. She shook her head, still afraid.
"No, but –"
"I would never hurt you. Ever. I would never hold a gun on you and I would certainly never shoot you. Now look..." He held up his screwdriver. "See? Screwdriver."
"It still looks like a gun," she stood slowly, shaking a little, "but...you're right; I know you wouldn't hurt me." She shut her eyes hard, then looked at the tool again and shook her head. "I'm sorry."
"Can I use it then?" he asked gently."Yes." She shuddered, obviously still deep in the hallucination. "I... trust you."
He pointed the sonic screwdriver at her, and pressed the button. She shut her eyes, turning away, shaking. He scanned up and down her, then looked at the results; definitely irregular. Definitely not right. Her vital signs were displayed, but so where those for something else.
Parasite...it was a parasite.
"Come on, we need to get back to the console room. I can fix this! I know what this is!" he said. He grabbed her hand. He turned, ghosting his fingers across the back of his neck. As he did, a voice ripped through the library, turning his blood to ice.
"Exterminate!"
"RUN!" cried the Doctor, pushing Sarah Jane ahead of himself. They bolted through the hallways, sprinting for the console room. Round and round they went, the halls twisting and turning like a maze, when before it had only been straight. The Doctor tried to tell himself it wasn't real, but he couldn't stop running. Sarah looked back over her shoulder at him.
"What are we running from?!" The Doctor stopped suddenly, staring down the empty hallway. Sarah stood beside him, following his gaze.
"Another hallucination," he said, frowning. "It felt so real." As he turned to walk on, Sarah Jane froze. Her limbs seized up for a brief, terrifying moment; a Dalek was gliding towards them. It raised its gun. There was no time to debate it, no time to think - Sarah jumped in front of the Doctor as the blast wracked her body. The Doctor caught her, and they crashed to the floor. The hallway was empty, silence ringing in his ears. He gathered her in his arms and rose, trudging back towards the console room.
"Hold on, Sarah," he begged her, his features contorted in pain. "It's not real. Hold on."
"My neck hurts," she mumbled, her eyes glassy. "Doctor, why is this happening?"
"These parasites, they're from the planet Srepensa. I came across them once with my granddaughter and this pair of humans we sort of adopted. They're like snakes, burrowing through the neck of the victim. Never thought I'd be a victim of these abominations myself."
The Doctor lowered her to the floor of the console room, and sat beside her, breathing heavily. She tried to sit up, but he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.
"Just lie still for a moment. You're not really hurt, but the more you think of it the more your mind will convince you otherwise." Sarah nodded stiffly, blinking slowly. She did her best to focus on the Doctor's eyes.
"What can we do?"
"The creatures are co-dependant, communicating with each other via a psychic link, as they feed on the energy of their hosts. They are always in pairs, and without one, the other would die." The Doctor stood and began working at the controls. "We need to cut their connection. If we can cut out all interference, the creatures will be unable to communicate with each other, and should hopefully-"
"Die?" Sarah's breathing was ragged. "What kind of place is there that can do that?"
"The Zero room. I had a new one built just recently, just in case. I'm trying to bring it closer so we can-" The TARDIS started to quake, and the scanner went black. The Doctor looked down at Sarah Jane, and offered her his hand. "If you can get up, then now's the time. I think I've just made our parasite friends very unhappy!"
There were very few times during the Doctor's journeys when it felt like the TARDIS did a full front flip – but this was certainly one of those times. Everything shot forward, and he felt himself sliding across the floor as everything seemed to flip. He grabbed the console, trying to steady himself, and held onto Sarah Jane. Sparks shot from the console and time router as they jostled.
"Go! Now! We need to get to the zero room, before this gets any worse!" He looked up as they slid across the floor for the door. He knew it wasn't real, but the sight above filled him with fear. The entire ceiling was ablaze with fire, rippling across in waves. He was losing his TARDIS...losing his home. Real or not real, something was falling apart. Sarah Jane entered the hall first, and the Doctor was close behind, the pair of them stumbling as everything rocked in the other direction. The parasites were obviously trying to stop them in their tracks, reduce them to scared, screaming masses of nothing. They knew he was trying to kill them, and they didn't like it at all.
"She's going to leave you," purred the voice in his head, "They all do eventually, don't they? They're such fickle pets for a Time Lord to keep."
"Shut up!" he growled out loud, stopping Sarah in her tracks. "Look at her,' the voice continued, 'so human…so feeble…her life ticking ever away before your eyes…"
The Doctor doubled over in pain, clutching at his pounding head.
"It doesn't matter, because nothing lasts forever – not even me! I'll take any time that I can get, and I'll never stop protecting her!" The laughter continued in his head, filling his every thought.
"And I will never stop protecting you, Doctor! That's why this is going to hurt me a lot more than it's going to hurt you."
He looked up at Sarah Jane just in time to see the palm of her hand flying to his face. With a crack, she slapped him, stinging his cheek."Snap out of it!" she barked, her eyes shining. As the pain subsided, so too did the voices. The Doctor stared at her with his ancient eyes, and nodded stoically. She smiled sadly, and they both started to run again, stumbling as the halls rocked back and forth around them.
They stopped upon reaching a thick grey door, and opened it. Beyond were the stark white walls of the zero room, empty and silent as an unused grave.
"This is it," the Doctor confirmed. "You go in, I'm staying out here."
"What?" she exclaimed,"You can't do that, we need to stay together."
"We need to cut them off from one and other. To do that, one of us needs to be in the zero room, while the other is outside. And the doors need to stay closed, no matter what. Do you understand?"
His old friend nodded. "Okay. I'll do it. Just please be careful. Remember... it's not real. Whatever you see or hear. It's an illusion."
Before he could reply, she walked into the room, shooting him one last look. He shut the door. The Doctor turned and looked down the hall, watching the blazing fire creep closer. He could even feel smoke attacking his lungs. The floors melted before the flames. Rumbles like thunder shook the hall.
"She's not coming back. You sent her to die," the voice whispered.
"If I'm right, you'll be gone soon. Why don't you spend your last few minutes in silence?" he bit back at it.
"Listen. She's dying in there," it countered. Sarah Jane's voice echoed through the walls. Screams of pain and terror were muffled by the metal. The Doctor reached for the door handle, but stopped himself. The zero room was sound proof. It was an illusion.
"Nice try," he said.
"So you will let her die? What a hero you are, Doctor," came a watery, electronic voice to his left. The Doctor recognized it immediately. He turned, seeing the old decrepit man, sitting in his half-a-Dalek chair, his sagging face twisted in an evil smile.
"You're not real, Davros," the Doctor said. His stomach still squirmed at the sight of his ancient enemy, the creator of evil.
The Dalek mastermind only smirked. "So you think. Is this what the Time Lord has turned into? First a mass murderer – now a betrayer of his friends?"
The Doctor rubbed the painful spot on the back of his neck. The stinging was intensifying. "I'm saving her, something you've never done for anyone."
"Are you saving her or yourself? I've never known you to do something that didn't benefit you. Selfishness, that's all you ever were. Always wanting to be the hero. It's disgusting. Your no hero, no more than I am" Davros laughed. His Dalek gun swiveled, aiming at The Doctor's chest. "Prepare to die in shame, as you deserve."
"I've sacrificed more than you can imagine, and I don't hide from that any more. I broke all my own rules to stop the worst war in the history of time; I died protecting other people and bent the laws of physics themselves to win when everything was lost. I've run from it long enough. I've been afraid long enough. You want to try and pollute me with fear? Fine. Go ahead and try – but I am not letting you get to Sarah Jane."
He blinked, and Davros was gone. The fire had dissipated as well. He touched the back of his neck and found something small and slimy sticking from his skin. He grabbed it with his forefingers and pulled. It came loose without a fight. It was a small blue snake about two inches long with bright purple eyes. That was the parasite. It was totally still, totally dead.
Behind him, the zero room door opened, and Sarah peeked out.
"Doctor, I think it's gone. It popped out of..." she saw him looking thoughtfully at the snake, and he turned to her.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry I got you into this. This shouldn't have happened."
"Don't be sorry, Doctor. It wasn't your fault." Sarah Jane took his hand and squeezed it.
Although her lips tugged up, the Doctor could see the shadow on her mind, the fear she was trying to hide. Even in the worst of times, Sarah was putting him before herself. She really did mean to protect him, and he meant to protect her. He would always protect her, no matter what.
"I think I'll get some rest now. Seeing all my nightmares tired me out." She chuckled, and rolled her eyes.
"Should I wake you when I've set a new course?"
"Absolutely," she nodded, her smile not quite ringing true. The Doctor did his best to ignore it, and smile in return. He started down the hall, sliding the snake into his pocket. He wanted to have a look at that later. Not now though. He had seen enough nightmares for one day.