...
The Doctor was sitting in his "brooding spot" under the TARDIS console.
This could hardly mean anything good. Clara knew that when she approached him he would barely hear her. Only at the sound of her voice imploring him would he look up. He'd had these moments so many times. Someone as old as he, who had seen so much suffering, was bound to. She wasn't sure that she could do anything. It never had hurt to ask. Not yet, at least. To be fair, this was a new face, a new personality. Would he rebuke her harshly? She would risk it, because she knew that, deep down, he might still care about her. Even the slightest bit.
"Doctor?"
His head jerked up from his hands where it had been resting for who knows how long.
"Yes?"
His rough brogue was softer than its usual cutting bite and, to her surprise, she saw a tear glistening in the corners of his wrinkled eyes.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all," was his attempt at a reply.
"Stop pretending, Doctor. You can tell me."
He stared at her long and hard for a moment.
"Do you ever think about how dangerous traveling in this is?"
Clara paused, taken aback.
"Yes...well, sort of. I know it's dangerous. That doesn't stop me, though," she added defiantly.
"The TARDIS is like a trap. So many people have come away with me, so excited to travel the stars," he said in a sarcastic tone. "And then they never come back. Or, if they do, their lives are completely changed. And not always for the better."
Clara sat beside him.
"What do you mean? Have some people, you know..." She trailed off, not knowing whether she wanted to finish the sentence or hear its reply.
"Yes. Some. But too many." He could barely get the words out, and Clara rested her hand lightly on his arm.
"Tell me. I want to know."
"I was thinking about everyone I've travelled with so much, on Trenzalore. I thought that my time was up, that I was going to die, and I wished...I wished I could have said goodbye. Susan, Romana, Adric, Amy and Rory, Rose...they're all dead. Dead or lost to me forever. And then there was you. I thought I'd lost another companion, but with you...the Universe was kind to me for once. I don't want to lose you again. You should go home. You deserve a life, a real life. With Danny, if that's what you want."
Clara drew back her hand.
"Why? Why should I leave? This is my 'real' life, as you put it. I don't want another one, at least not right now. I can still teach and do everything back home, but this is where I want to be. With you, traveling. I promise that I won't die," she added, smiling slightly.
"You can never keep that promise," he said, his eyes sad. "But you can stay, though I will never make you."
Clara threw her arms around him, her eyes glistening now as well.
"I keep on telling you that I'm not a hugging sort of person!" he said, looking distinctly ruffled.
"Still don't get a vote," Clara said into his shoulder.
She finally released him and he stood up.
"Time to go somewhere that's interesting," he said, straightening his jacket, and that spark of energy was back in his voice. Clara smiled at the sound and joined him.
This was her home. For how much longer, she didn't know. But it was still where she wanted to be.