I'll start off short and sweet.. I was never told that when you've loved someone for so long that after a while the mere thought of them plagues every action and movement you make in life. There are nights when I lie here wide awake after thinking I'll sleep just fine and I can't help but see the very outline of his aura... his very being. I feel numb but my nerves are on fire whenever I attempt to move. It's crazy how emotions and chemicals work and I never thought that loving someone for five years would cause all of the things I worked hard on to simply...
fall away into a little black pit of nothing that leads to nowhere..
Now, I'm not sad every day and No I'll be honest I have little to no friends to really talk to because I've pushed them all away or in today's society I have sadly been considered Abusive and Oppressive. That's ok though, I have my words typed into a small screen and I have my mind- my way of coping with the loss of someone I watched dwindle into nothing but a tiny shard of what they once were. I prayed and hoped that old friend would come back but... let's just say he didn't.
My heart sings his name when I don't even fully hear it myself and in moments I feel myself sing something totally different, his name leaves my lips. It's a hope that I should really abandon, why would he come back anyway, he's got his player attitude and his belief that because I did something good for him he just gets to walk away. Well, I hope one day he becomes happy. Be it, without me but I will know that his happiness sprang from a little May evening back in 2012 when I couldn't help but smile and sing to him...
I know I should be sad, I should be angry but in all reality...
I forgive him. I won't forget, never will I forget but I will forgive.. and I will move on.
I hold all our memories close,
Bear and Spider... Donna and Jonas... Asuna and Setsu...
I'll never forget those memories and moments in my life when I was dead confident that something for once would go right.
This ladies and gentleman is what I call a relationship with no closure...
a play with no true ending...
the curtains never closing...
and the audience never seeing...
The True End.