Disclaimer! I totes mcgotes don't own any of these characters! They all belong to their respectful owners!
Thranduil sat in a pink chair while he waited for his hair to set. He absentmindedly flipped through People Magazine and gasped at Cersei Lannister's unknown secrets.
"I always knew she was a slut." He muttered to himself and turned the page. The door to the hair salon opened, and Loki walked in. "Loki! You're two minutes late!" Thranduil called out in a sing-songy voice and motioned for him to come closer.
"I'm sorry, but I was burdened w-"
"With glorious purposes. We know, honey. Hi Thrandy!" The door opened again, and Lucius Malfoy stepped in.
"Lucy! It's been so long! Your hair! Have you been using the-"
"Beeswax shampoo you sent us? Yes! It's amazing and does wonders to my hair! Thor is so jealous." Loki smiled. Lucius sat down and grabbed the magazine from Thranduil.
"That skank! I had no idea she was doing the entire Kingsguard!" He exclaimed and Thranduil nodded.
"I know right?" He asked, and Loki snatched the article from Lucius.
"Let me see tha- my gosh!" He exclaimed, and Thranduil nodded, and moved away from the heat of the dryer. His hair was perfect, and all he had to do was put on his crown.
"How do I look?" He asked, and his friends put their thumbs up.
"Amazing as usual!" Lucius exclaimed, and Loki nodded.
"I think you look great, but does it matter?" He counted to three on his fingers and the three men shouted,
"Because our hair gets more fabulous every day!" They burst into uncontrollable laugter. After composing themselves, the three men began preparing for the work day. They organized bottles of shampoo, color coordinated hair pins, and fed the peacocks that lounged around being beautiful.
"I don't think Daenerys likes me." Loki said as he petted Mr. Sparkle's neck. Lucius looked up and Thranduil dropped the bottle of conditioner he was holding.
"What?! What did you do to her?!" Lucius asked, and Loki shrugged.
"I said her hair looked like a bird emptied it's bladder on it, and she gave me the cold shoulder! I never did anything mean to her and now look! She has Rapunzel, Sherlock, the Starks, and Katniss against me! What did I ever do to Katniss?!" He demanded, and Lucius laughed.
"Well you were right about her hair! Ever since she married Khal Drogo, she's been looking like a savage! You were right to put her in her place!" Thranduil said.
"Yes, and don't mind Katniss! She's just a sixteen year old girl!" Lucius smirked, flipping the hot pink sign in front of the door. It was made by Thranduil and blared,
WE ARE TOTES MCGOTES OPEN! No Dwarves or Mudbloods allowed. Don't know what those are? Come on in! 3
The sound of I'm a Boss Ass Bitch came on as the door opened. Thranduil had thought it was a much better replacement than a regular bell.
"Hi! My name's Annabeth, and I wanted to get my hair cut!" She smiled, and all three men stopped in their tracks.
"No, honey! You have such beautiful golden curls! Aw, I wish my hair was naturally like this." Loki sighed and touched a strand.
"But I'm the customer."
"So? We say your hair is beautiful just the way it is, honey! We are experts on hair!" Lucius twiddled a strand of his own platinum locks. Annabeth looked into the mirror.
"Maybe I'll wait a day or two before cutting it." She finally said and thanked them and walked out.
"Oh my gosh, did you see that gray streak in her hair? Can I get an uh-guh-lee!" Thranduil huffed.
"Ugly!"
"Ugly!" Loki and Lucius chimed. They continued to sit around and read magazines until the door opened again. Legolas had just stepped inside.
"Ada, this is Gimli, my best-"
"DWARF!" Lucius screamed and began running in circles and Loki threw bottles of conditioner at him. Thranduil took one look at the short man with that huge unsanitary beard in his salon and fainted. Gimli looked at Legolas and said,
"I'll come back another time for that haircut you owe me." then lumbered out the door. Lucius peeked from behind the hair washing station.
"Is it gone?" He asked, and Legolas nodded.
"Yes, Lucius, he's gone." Lucius Malfoy straightened his robes and grabbed a bottle of Mango Paradise scented conditioner from the ground. He opened the top and held it up to Thranduil's nose.
"He's gone, Thrandy." Lucius said and Thranduil sat up. Loki took one look at Thranduil and gasped.
"Your beautiful hair! It's frizzy now!" He cried out, and Legolas crept out of the shop.
The next hour was full of Loki and Lucius cleaning while Thranduil redid his hair.
"There!" He smiled, placing his crown atop his head. "Now I'm fabulous once more."
Thranduil stationed himself behind the front counter and ran a finger down the names that were coming in that day,
"William Turner, Hermione Gran-"
"Cross her off!" Lucius yelled from the coat closet. "She's a Mudblood!" Loki laughed from the leather sofa he was laying on.
"The sign says no Mudbloods. If she can read, she won't come in."
"Cross her off anyways! And continue the list, I want to hear who else comes in!" Thranduil grabbed a pink pen with a puffball and glitter on it and sliced a hot pink line through Hermione Granger.
"After Hermione Granger is someone named Sheldon Cooper. Then there's a kid named Aang, huh, Katniss has an appointment too! That's all of them!" Thranduil snapped the book shut and the doors opened.
"Thrandy! It's been sooo long!" A soft voice floated in.
"Galadriel? Elrond? What are you guys doing here?" Thranduil laughed, and hugged the two elves.
"We came to see how you were doing!" She smiled and Elrond held up a bright pink book titled THE BURN BOOK.
"We also found an old friend." He grinned and Thranduil called Lucius and Loki over.
"This is the Burn Book. It has almost everything about everyone!" He whispered, and opened it.
"Lori Grimes is a grotsky little byotch." Galadriel read, and every muttered,
"Still true."
"Bella Swan is a fat virgin."
"Still half true!" Loki smirked. "She's lost weight."
"Sansa Stark. She made out with a hotdog." They were about to say something but the doors opened, and a man that looked an awful lot like Legolass came in.
"Hi, I'm going out to sea and I need some extra strength shampoo for the salt water." He said and Loki rushed to get him three bottles.
"That'll be five Galleons, twenty dollars, fourteen stags, or nineteen space credits. Or whatever currency you pay in." He said, and Will Turner paid in British Euro's.
"Thrandy, I swear that was your son with brown hair. He looked so much like him!" Elrond stated, and Thranduil shrugged.
"Maybe. Do you want coffee?" He asked, and both elves shook their heads.
"We were just dropping by to say hi and show you the book. We have to go now! Bye!" Galadriel said, and the two exited the shop with the Burn Book.
It turns out, Hermione Granger could read. She took one look at the sign and stomed away while Lucius, Loki, and Thranduil laughed.
A few minutes later, a lean man in two shirts stepped in.
"Gentlemen, my name is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I am here for my haircut." he said, and sat down. While Lucius gently clipped at Sheldon's hair, Loki and Thranduil enjoyed coffee together.
"So I heard that Legolas is dating Tauriel." Loki said, and Thranduil shook his head.
"No they're not! Who told you that?!" He demanded, and Loki whispered.
"Daenerys Targaryen and Watson." Thranduil sniffed.
"You shouldn't trust Daenerys Targaryen! She is giving you the cold shoulder after all! And Watson? His deducting skills aren't as finely tuned as Sherlock." Lucius whistled,
"He does have a point." Sheldon Cooper snapped is fingers.
"I would like it if you concentrated on my hair and not on the menial topics you are conversing now!" He said, and Lucius snipped a chunk from the back of his head.
"There. All done. Are you happy?"
"Absolutely not, but I suppose I have to pay." He said and slapped a twenty down onto the counter. "My thanks, gentlemen." He gave a small bow and exited the door.
They continued to gossip and opened a new shipment of scented puffy pens. Then, Aang came.
"Hi I was-"
"Get out! You're bald! You don't need us!" Loki screeched, and scared the child away. They had a nice lunch of vegetarian lasagne and fed the peacocks.
Finally, Katniss came in.
"I know Loki hates me right now, so Thranduil does my hair." She growled, and sat in a pink chair. "Could you just rim the edges? Thanks." Thranduil nodded and looked at her.
"I heard you were hanging out with Daenerys Targaryen." He said whil snipping mere centimeters off.
"Oh, yeah. I guess, I mean, we're not that close."
"Mhmm." Thranduil peeked behind himself and saw Loki recording the conversation while Lucius wrote it down.
"She gets really picky on the subject of fire, though. I don't see why, seeing as she's the so called 'Blood of the Dragon' I mean come on. Does anyone believe that?" Thranduil agreed with her.
"It does sound a bit forced. But you are the Girl on Fire, and you are so much cooler than she is! Look at her hair for goodness sake! It's a rat's nest! And yours?" He snipped an end. "Yours is like silk." Katniss blushed.
"Thank you."
"That'll be forty dollars." Thranduil rang her up and waved good-bye. "I think that covers everyone! Good work everybody!" He exclaimed and high fived the others.
Loki and Lucius both smiled and fed the peacocks one last time before having another round of coffee. Then, after two hours of non-stop chatter, Lucius waved good-bye to Loki and Thranduil.
Loki was second to go, leaving Thranduil to close up. He smiled at the peacocks one last time and flipped the pink sign. It now read,
SORRY WE'RE CLOSED, BUT WE CAN'T HELP IT IF WE'RE POPULAR! Come again tomorrow! 3