Akagi likes to hover in the kitchen, Kaga thinks as she watches from the counter.
Sixteen and eager to be something more, Akagi peeks over Houshou's shoulder. Her hands itch to do something. Her toes keep inching forward. It's as if she can't help herself, like a puppy playfully nipping after its owner. She's tied her hair up and thrown on an apron as Houshou has done, but unlike their senior, Akagi hasn't touched any of the ingredients.
Atop of the stove are sizzling hamburger patties. On a pan to the side is crackling bacon while Houshou busies herself cutting up lettuce and tomatoes. Soft thuds of the knife hitting the cutting board, the crunch of fresh lettuce—Kaga's mouth waters at the thought of Houshou's freshly cooked lunch. She watches, back straightened as she sits from a high stool. Houshou attends to the food fluidly. Akagi follows a step behind.
They continue like this for a while. Kaga muses that it's always been like this: Houshou doing something out of the goodness of her heart, Akagi imitating her, and Kaga keeping up. Akagi and Kaga could cook their own food, but it's Houshou, always Houshou, who insists that they have their lunches together.
It's when Houshou claps her hands together that the scene is broken. She places her hands at her hips and smiles at the two of them. "It is done." Akagi sits beside Kaga, ooh-ing and aah-ing in admiration. Before them, large hamburgers are stacked in all their glory. Bacon, lettuce, tomato, in between perfectly toasted buns… Kaga looks to her side. Ah. Akagi is barely containing herself. She's practically salivating at the food. Houshou looks at them expectantly. "Well, go on, now. I made these just for you!"
Akagi doesn't hesitate to seize the nearest burger. "Thank you for the food!"
Kaga follows suit, relishing in how every part of the burger seemed to fight for best taste. This is Houshou's dish, alright. It's not how well the food was made (it's delicious, Kaga swears, that's not the point), but it's something less concrete. She's not the best with her words or her feelings to name it. It could be how Houshou props her elbow on the countertop and watches them with a small smile, or how Akagi is too eager to speak with her mouth full, but Kaga feels warm, inside and out.
In the end, she's not that different from Akagi. She wants to help Houshou as well. Attempting to not appear self-conscious, she coughs into a fist. "Houshou-san, I can do the dishes after, so don't worry about it."
A hand comes to rest atop of Kaga's head, and she looks up to find Houshou petting her affectionately. The older woman is kind when she says, "You don't have to do anything, okay? Just enjoy yourself for now." Kaga is sixteen and expected to lead sorties, yet in front of Houshou, she feels like a kid. It's silly, she thinks. Beyond their living quarters and without any warm hamburgers, Kaga is told by adults of the high hopes they have for her and Akagi. There is little room for error, but high expectations for success.
Kaga returns her attention to her hamburger, mumbling a small 'okay'. There isn't much to complain about when being taken care of by Houshou.
Akagi speaks through another mouthful of food. "Donff worry abouffit, Kaga-shan!" She takes a moment to swallow her food. There's a piece of lettuce stuck between her front teeth. It doesn't stop Akagi from learning toward her with a giant grin. Kaga doesn't move away as Akagi speaks up, "We have time before practice."
She angles her head to look out the window. It's raining, but the cloudy sky is bright. The pebbled path is sleek from the drizzle. There's no one in sight as far as she can tell. Kaga can't imagine what they could do on a rainy day like this, though she supposes Akagi would find something to do. She holds up a napkin to Akagi. "Too bad there aren't any fleet girls our age stationed here."
The other girl takes the napkin gratefully. "We have Houshou-san! So we automatically have the better naval base."
"You're right," Kaga sets her face, taking another bite of her hamburger. Houshou has already returned to the kitchen to clear out the stove but she laughs at their words. It's a small laugh, as if she hadn't meant to let it out. Kaga smiles to herself.
Spurred by Houshou's reaction, Akagi places her hamburger down to stand up. The fact that Akagi had put down food was a miracle in and of itself, but she isn't done with her antics. Akagi is confident as she declares, "We're serious, Houshou-san! When I'm old, I want to be just like you."
Quietly eating her hamburger, Kaga agrees as well. There aren't many fleet girls around, and the humans make it a point to remind them often. Kaga thinks they're being rude; Akagi thinks they're a little scary. Why do they have to prove themselves when they're just doing their best? Houshou is the one to put on a relentlessly kind face and give their superiors what they want.
In front of so many people who demand results to a problem they don't have a solution to—Houshou really is the bravest person they know.
For a while, Houshou doesn't respond, focusing on cleaning the kitchen. The older woman places the pan and skillet in the sink, and only then does she respond to Akagi. Even before she speaks, Kaga senses something is off. She's wearing the same look on her face when she speaks to their superiors. "You'll grow up to be your own person, Akagi-san. That's the best part of growing up."
Akagi pouts. That wasn't the answer she wanted. "You're the best grownup I know, though."
Houshou looks to the side as she disagrees, "I still have a lot of growing up to do myself."
It's when Houshou's smile drops—it's still there, she can tell, but she's forcing herself to hold it up—that Kaga thinks this is territory neither her nor Akagi quite understand. Kaga feels her ears turn red. She doesn't know why it feels so embarrassing, so scary to know that even Houshou has adult things she couldn't tell them.
Akagi's caught on as well, but she doesn't know how to respond. She struggles to find something to say, knitting her eyebrows together, but nothing comes to mind.
Houshou, always Houshou, is the one to break the ice. She releases a giant sigh, her shoulders rising and falling with her form, and shakes her head at the two of them. And then she has the smile—her actual smile—on her face. The tension immediately leaves Kaga as if shaking off rain from her hair. Houshou wipes her hands down her apron before taking a seat at the counter too. "I'm sorry for making you worry. It might come with age, after all. I think there will always be more things to learn about yourself… Maybe you can look back and see how much you've grown, but sometimes I look back and only see my mistakes."
Kaga has finished her hamburger, so she has nothing to distract her hands with. She feels awkward and not sure how to react. She turns to Akagi for some guidance, only to find that the girl has reached forward to grasp Houshou by the hand, near teary-eyed and overwhelmed. Kaga goes for Houshou's other hand. "Houshou-san," Akagi started. "even with your mistakes, I still look up to you the most. The you right now is doing great."
"Yeah," Kaga inserts.
Houshou smiles at each of them, squeezing their hands. "Thank you. I can tell the two of you are going to grow up to be good people. You already are. Don't forget that, okay?"
They hold the moment. Kaga stares at their hands, fingers interlocked and secure. They're good people, she repeats to herself. She takes Houshou's words and wrap them around herself like a blanket, wanting it to cover her from the rest of the world. Though her superiors are teaching her how to kill Abyssals, and it feels like Kaga has a duty to a larger picture she can't even imagine—she's a good person.
Kaga takes in the hamburgers, Houshou's apron, and the way Akagi is standing on the stool's footrest. She commits it to memory, determined to remember this moment even when she's older.
Akagi is the first to break their hands off, returning her attention to her burger once more. "I won't forget, because I already know that," she says, biting into her hamburger.
Houshou laughs. Her eyes are on Kaga now as she adds, "I just wanted to make sure you knew."
Ahhh. Kaga looks down at her lap, feeling overcome with a strong emotion. She thinks it's adoration, or happiness, but she can't tell. She feels warm, though, and that has to count for something. Houshou isn't perfect. Yet for all her imperfections, Houshou is the kind of person that Kaga needs in her life. She clenches her skirt in embarrassment.
"Thank you, Houshou-san," Kaga says dutifully, and hopes she understands just how much she means it.
…
Kaga is twenty-six and a little worse for wear.
The naval base has flourished into a fully functioning unit now. Fleet girls frequent the pebbled paths even when it rains on nights like this, and the entire base seems to have come alive. No longer just Houshou, Akagi, and herself, much has changed since all those years ago.
She is currently in their bedroom. Kaga is wearing her reading glasses and is reading the day's report by candlelight. Given the opportunity, Kaga would gladly sleep, but Akagi is still debriefing with the admiral. It simply isn't a choice to go to bed without the other woman. She would stay up, and that was her final decision.
There's a soft knock at the door and Kaga glances up to find Akagi sliding it open.
"I'm home," Akagi whispers conspiringly, a gentle smile on her face. Kaga thinks she's taken after Houshou very well.
"Welcome back," Kaga returns in a similarly quiet tone. She's not sure why Akagi is whispering, but she plays along. "Why are you still standing at the door?"
"Because," Akagi steps forward, raising a small tote bag. Her smile grows infectiously. "I may have bumped into Houshou on the way back and come with food." She slips her sandals off and sits at the low table beside her. Akagi leans in for a quick kiss, and Kaga readily reciprocates it. Kaga removes her glasses and set them to the side. Food from Houshou? Reading documents can hold off until later.
The scent pervading the room was unmistakable. Kaga shares a look with Akagi. "Is it?" She prompts.
Akagi nods, wearing a serious expression on her face. "It is."
Wordlessly, Akagi takes two disposable containers out from the tote bag, and hands one to Kaga. Both handle the containers in trepidation, but it's Akagi who cracks it open first. Kaga follows soon after. It's fresh. It occurs to Kaga that Houshou must've known that Akagi would return late. The hamburgers look just as mouthwatering as they did ten years ago. Tomato, lettuce, bacon, all atop of a patty and sandwiched between perfectly toasted buns… really, Houshou hasn't changed at all, just like her burgers.
"I can't hold back any longer," Akagi admits as she immediately digs in. In between chewing, Akagi thanks Houshou for the food.
Kaga holds up her own hamburger and takes a solid bite. The crunch is just as satisfying, and she closes her eyes, getting lost in the taste. Memories surface to the forefront of her mind. She imagines Houshou, making hamburgers because she and Akagi would constantly beg for it. Her younger self hadn't even considered rations, or how much of a nuisance it was with how often they asked. Houshou had never complained, though.
After taking another bite, Kaga peeks at Akagi. She's holding the burger with both hands, trying to enjoy every bite of the burger. Offhandedly, Kaga thinks that Akagi is cute while she's eating. No matter how much changes around them, Akagi always appreciates the food she eats. Kaga stretches her free hand out to tuck Akagi's hair behind her ear and holds her hand there when Akagi leans her cheek toward her palm.
They stare into each other's eyes for a moment.
"Houshou's hamburgers are the best," Akagi comments, breaking the eye contact.
Kaga pulls back her hand and returns to eating her burger. "They are. We should thank her tomorrow morning."
Akagi hums in agreement, and they focus on eating. Silence is a language they both understand. In this silence, Kaga can give the hamburger the attention it deserves. As she grew older, the chances to eat with Houshou lessened drastically. Houshou herself never went on sorties anymore, and often helped with managerial duties or training sessions, while Akagi and Kaga led the First Carrier Division at the helm.
Times were simpler back then. Kaga understands what Houshou meant all those years ago.
"Do you remember?" Kaga asks, sitting cross-legged on their futon after they've finished their burgers. They had prepared for bed and Akagi changed into her yukata. The other woman crawls towards Kaga and pushes herself between her legs, turning around so that she could lean back onto Kaga. She takes in stride, wrapping her arms around Akagi's shoulders. "When we were younger and Houshou said we were good people."
"I remember," she confirms. "You were rather awkward back then. It was really cute."
Kaga sputters at that, bowing her head into the crook of Akagi's neck. "You didn't have to recall it like that, Akagi-san."
"I absolutely had to," Akagi teases, her hand coming up to play with Kaga's hair. She undoes her side ponytail and lets the hair tie fall to the ground. Kaga lets it happen. Akagi tugs her hand so that Kaga scooted closer. "Why do you ask?"
"I was thinking," Kaga adjusts so that her chin rests on Akagi's shoulder. "how grateful we were to have Houshou-san growing up."
Akagi hums at that. "That was the day she got angry when I said I wanted to be like her, huh?"
"She wasn't angry," Kaga refutes, but she's smiling. "Though it did feel like that at the time."
They muse on that day from so long ago. Kaga is almost sure that Houshou wouldn't remember it. She was always so relentlessly kind and giving. That day was just one day among many, but for Kaga and Akagi, it had meant the world to them. Kaga pulls Akagi close, until she is risking falling atop of her. Akagi groans exasperatingly, placing her hands on Kaga's thighs to steady herself, and they both snicker at each other.
They're in their twenties but the world hasn't gotten the best of them yet. With people like Houshou and Akagi in her life, Kaga knows that she won't go down so easily.
She feels warm. When they fall asleep in each other's arms, Kaga makes sure that she doesn't let go of Akagi. It was Houshou who helped nurture this warmth, and it would be Kaga who would keep it close.
Kaga isn't quite sure saying "thank you" suits her feelings anymore.
It feels a little more like love.
Inspired by the Kancolle x Sasebo collaboration and the cutest kid Akagi art (thank you shibafu...), and Ai Ninomiya's Own My Own. Thank you for reading!