Hello everyone! I'm back with the Sequal to Forgotten Memories! I'm pretty excited to be starting this story. So don't let the lame name keep you from reading it! (I couldn't think of anything else, so don't hit me! DX) I'm working on fixing in a style of writing that I haven't tried before- and the chapters will be much longer! X3 So please read and REVIEW!!
Rated: Mature for mature themes, homosexuality, possible crude humor, and language.
Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha. I do, however, own a Hamtaro plushie. And I love him!
Chapter 1: What Kagome Didn't Know
It had been a while, she thought. It had really been a while. As her tired deep green eyes flowed over the pictures in the picture album, she allowed her mind to wander just a bit. She allowed her mind to wander from the haste of everyday life. She allowed her mind to wander from the urgency she always felt nowadays. Ignoring the slight ache in her shoulders, she thought back to a time of happiness. She thought back to a time of unwavering love. She thought back to the tragic interruption. Within that, she though back to the unbridled joy she had felt as that love returned to her.
Sighing, she reached over to her bedside table, and placed the photo album back inside. Closing it she allowed those memories that were supposed to be long forgotten to live in the back of her mind. She pushed the covers back and slipped her feet down to the floor, instantly recoiling a bit due to the frigidity of the cool hardwood. She sat for a few moments, in empty silence.
A warm hand touched her cool skin. Warmth spread through her arm readily.
"Sango?" the woman breathed gently, her voice sensuous with sleep.
Sango glanced over her shoulder, errant strands of her hair falling silkily into place. Green eyes connected with dark blue. She turned away and sighed.
"Can you sleep?" the woman questioned, gently pursuing an answer.
"No," came an unsteady reply.
The rustling of sheets and the movement of the bed signaled to Sango that her lover had moved closer. Warm hands tentatively touched her shoulders. Gently, adequate pressure was applied. Sango leaned gratefully into the massaging hands as they relieved the tension that had been building up.
"Sango, don't you think you should take a few days off?"
"Why? I need to make sure I'm ready for this tour," she replied irritably.
Impatience and irritability were now what defined the young musician as she became more and more of a rock star. She was letting the stress of deadlines and perfection get to her. She barely had time to herself anymore; well, she did but for some reason she was always so engrossed in her work. It was as if she were trying to fill her mind with simply music and only music- as if she didn't want anything other than the music to plague her thoughts.
"Well, the band and I were wondering if you'd like to take a break. Go on a trip or something. All you ever do nowadays is practice. The tour's not starting for another week or so," the blue eyed girl replied.
"Ray," Sango sighed the girl's nickname in annoyance.
"Please," the blonde pleaded cutely.
"I don't know…. Maybe," Sango sighed, shrugging the girl's hands from her shoulders.
Warm arms slipped around her torso and a warm body fit perfectly against her back.
"Please," she pleaded again in a mere whisper. Her lips were against Sango's ear.
Sango shut her eyes in enjoyment. Rayne always had a way to convince her to do anything. Simply put- Sango had a weak spot for girls with blue eyes and sweet voices. As loving kisses were delivered to her cheek and jaw, Sango felt her resolve melting away. She quickly turned her face to meet soft lips in a needy kiss. She felt the drummer smile into the kiss and couldn't help but smile back.
"And if I say no?" Sango mumbled against her lips.
"Trust me; saying no is the last thing you want to do," Rayne warned sexily as she kissed Sango again gently.
"Why is that?" Sango asked as she turned to face the drummer.
"You'll be missing out on a lot of fun, Skittles." That whisper drove Sango insane.
A smile slipped easily onto Sango's lips again.
"I told you not to call me that," the guitarist muttered with a devious smile.
"Oh, but it's so cute!" Rayne laughed as Sango pushed her against the bed.
"How did you even find out about that?"
"It's a long story," Rayne smirked, obviously deciding that she wasn't going to spill it. Mischief played naturally in her deep blue eyes.
"We've got time."
"No we don't," she replied softly before pulling Sango down for a mouthy kiss. Sango's fingers were immediately buried in golden locks. The drummer's hands had skillfully unbuttoned Sango's shirt all the way down- she happened to only be wearing a large button up and underwear. Sango was instantly filled with need. A shiver slipped through her body as the drummers hand found their way to her ribcage; just beside her breast.
"Your hands are so warm," Sango spoke as she let her hand trace up the woman's stomach.
Rayne purred in content as Sango's hand made an achingly slow approach towards her chest. A soft kiss was given and the women became engrossed in each other. Skin slicked against skin and voices filled the air. Their love making, however, was disrupted by a familiar tune that hadn't been heard in a long while.
Sango's cell phone.
At first, Sango ignored it; allowing herself to continue to pleasure her partner. But then, with a thought that had been evading her, she jumped in remembrance. She suddenly pulled away from her flushed lover.
"Wait; Sango," Rayne started, lightheaded.
"No, no. I have to get this call," Sango said as her naked body scrambled to get off the bed.
"Please, Sango. Can't you just ignore it?"
Sango stopped and the Green Day song, "Wake Me Up When September Ends", continued to play in the silence accompanied by their heavy panting.
"No, I have to take the call."
Rayne looked thoroughly pissed, but said no more.
Digging through the bag that had been set near the door, Sango hastily fumbled to answer her phone.
Her heart was racing as the phone rang in her ear. She hadn't talked with the musician in such a long time. She hadn't said hello in such a long time. She wondered if she sounded different- or perhaps if she missed her. Maybe she had only invited her due to guilt- maybe she felt that it was simply the right thing to do.
Seconds felt like minutes as Kagome waited for Sango to answer.
Kagome felt rejection move in on her. The letter said to call anytime. Maybe she had taken that a little too literally. Sango was a busy person. Perhaps she was in a recording studio, or maybe doing an interview… Maybe she just didn't want to talk to her.
Kagome realized, however, that the ringing had suddenly stopped. Silence filled her ear.
"Hello?" she tried, the cool air becoming comforting. She strained her ears to pick up heavy breathing.
"Hey," she replied.
"Uh, yeah. It's Kagome," the blue eyed girl continued, upset that talking to Sango felt so awkward.
"Hey, it's good to hear from you," Sango said still obviously trying to catch her breath. Kagome noted the tone Sango had- she recognized that tone slightly, and blushed. She hoped with all of her heart that she hadn't interrupted anything.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Kagome said as she heard Sango swear a bit. A muffled voice came through to her through the phone. Sango didn't reply.
"If you want… I could call back," Kagome pressed out- a bit embarrassed.
Sango cleared her throat, "Oh, um. No- just hold on a second."
She heard lowered voices debating for a bit before Sango returned.
"So, how have you been doing?" Sango asked smoothly.
"I've been ok. I got your letter."
"Oh, that's good! That's great; when did you get it?"
"Just a few minutes ago," Kagome started back towards the library.
"Oh," Sango said with her excitement waning quickly. "So… I guess you didn't get a chance to think about it yet."
"Ah… no- not yet. But I just want to say thank you before I think about it."
"Thank you?"
"Yeah- thank you for thinking about me and sending the ticket," Kagome smiled gently.
Sango felt warmth fill her chest. Kagome sounded so carefree when she said that; so ridiculously content.
Kagome cringed as a loud bang filled her ear.
"Um, Sango?"
"Oh- sorry about that," the musician replied with a slight hint of irritation. "Rayne just got a little upset. She's a bit childish at times."
"How is she doing?"
"She's," Sango stopped. She was at a loss of words. Kagome was actually inquiring about her girlfriend. The musician always saw the blue eyed girl as one who'd be too terribly jealous to even think about her competition. It made Sango wonder- did Kagome finally get over? Had she lost the young girl's love?
"She's fine," Sango finally finished.
"Well that's good. She keeping you on your toes?" Kagome asked as she sat on the steps of the library. Kagome was quite pleased that she was able to keep small talk up.
"Ah, yeah," Sango laughed. "She's a handful."
"Well, I'm glad you're having fun." Kagome's smile became slightly wry.
"Yeah, and it'll be all the more fun to see you again if you decide to come on tour with us."
A shadow fell over her and Kagome looked up to see Reiki, the young girl she had been tutoring for some time, standing behind her. The pale girl's arms were filled with Kagome's books. Kagome scrambled to stand and relieve the girl of her load. She opened her mouth to say thank you, but the girl silenced her with the shake of the head. Concern filled the blue eyed girl when she caught view of the empty expression on the younger girl's face. Reiki merely turned and headed back into the library.
"Kagome?" Sango questioned, worried about Kagome's silence.
"Huh? Oh! Sorry," Kagome spluttered concern inadvertently slipping into her voice.
"Are you ok? You seem, I don't know, distressed."
"Ah, yeah," the younger girl replied, somewhat lamely.
"Are you sure?" concern also laced within Sango's voice.
"Yes- sorry about that. So- um… I'm going to think about the offer and I'll get back to you as soon as I can," Kagome said as she gazed over the tree line to see the top of the large stone chapel. The four towers had become a comforting sight to her.
"Alright. I'm going to get back to bed now," the musician said before clearing her throat a little.
"Yeah, ok. Goodnight- and tell Kikyo I said hi!"
"Goodnight, Kagome."
Kagome held the phone to her ear, waiting for Sango to hang up. When the screeching noise finally hit her ear, she shut the phone and sighed lightly. She was sure that she had called right in the middle of Sango and Rayne having sex- she could just tell by Sango's voice. But that couldn't be the case because Sango had picked up the phone. No; that wasn't possible- Sango wouldn't interrupt lovemaking for anything. Kagome, for one, knew this.
As she headed out towards the bus stop, she let her mind fester on the look Reiki had given her. The shy freshman had looked so… defeated and broken. Kagome had to wonder why? Was it possibly from the miniature argument they had had before about her invasion of privacy? Perhaps Rin had said something after she had left to be alone? But... No matter how hard Kagome tried, she couldn't think of anything that would cause the young girl to act the way she did. Such an empty expression on the eager young scholar's face worried Kagome. There was some serious hurt going on inside of the younger girl. But from what? Kagome didn't know.
Realizing that she had plenty of time on her hands, Kagome decided to take the scenic route to her dorm. She boarded the bus that would take her by the large stone chapel- the gothic structure that had caught her attention before even attending the school. It was simply a gorgeous place to be and as the bus drove around the roundabout, Kagome felt her heart melt just by seeing the large chapel as the bus went down the courtyard boarded drive.
Kagome arrived at the dorm before Rin. This was usually the case. Rin always met up with friends and went out to Karaoke or a club. Kagome had long since relinquished those habits after Sango left her. She found no pleasure in them- especially the clubs. Places of carnal pleasure like the clubs did nothing but magnify the dull ache in her chest into something ridiculously painful. It was cheating that lead her to her initial unhappiness. And though she wasn't dating anyone at the moment, she couldn't even bring herself to wander into a club due to the idea of meeting someone there who wanted to do nothing but use her just as her instructor had tried. She knew she'd fall into the club life way too easily because in her heart- Kagome was one who liked to party. She liked to dance and move; surrender her body and mind to the music and people.
After preparing herself for bed, Kagome dressed into her pajamas. She sat in bed for a while and knew it would be another night in which she did not sleep. Her eyes burned with tears, but she didn't allow them to fall. She had gotten so much better at that over the past few months.
Sango sat at the table, her face in her hands. No matter how many times she tried to call, her girlfriend would never answer. No matter how many messages she left, she never received a reply. She was beginning to get worried. Rayne wasn't the brightest girl on the planet. She wasn't stupid or anything- she wouldn't get herself into serious trouble- but she did seem to attract trouble and she never knew how to deal with that trouble properly. Rayne seemed to draw in all of the negative publicity for the band.
The green eyed musician figured that Rayne actually liked the attention she was getting, no matter where it was coming from. Rayne seemed to always want to prove herself to someone. She always wanted all eyes on her and what she did. She wanted someone to be proud of her- to prove her worth. Sango asked her about this once, merely because she was simply irritated by how she acted at times. Rayne had broken down crying. She had flung herself into Sango's arms and cried helplessly.
Sango held the sobbing girl in her arms, surprised at the sudden change of atmosphere. Just a moment ago, the musician had been chastising the drummer because of the trouble she had gotten into at a bar, and now she held the girl who had been staring her down lividly in her arms. A sharp frown tugged at her lips.
"I'm sorry Sango," Rayne said bitterly, calming down significantly. "It just seems that everything I do, I somehow find a way to screw it up."
"Well, I'm not going to agree with that, but you shouldn't have cussed that guy out," Sango bit out, still a little pissed by the whole situation. "I just don't understand why you have to act like his all the time and why you're so moody all the time. You can't be on your period every day."
Rayne chuckled at this statement, glad that she was in Sango's arms. Her heart was melting and she wished she could just find the courage within to tell Sango how she felt about her. Usually, she wore her mind on her sleeve and didn't hesitate to tell anyone anything, but there was something about Sango… Something that made her feel that if Sango rejected her she wouldn't have the will to live anymore.
"I think I'm bipolar, and I'm not kidding."
Sango pushed Rayne away a bit, giving her a deep questioning glance. Rayne stared back, her deep blue eyes unwavering.
"Oh… have you gone to check on that with a doctor?" Sango asked, giving the blonde girl a serious look. It had only been a few months and this band was already proving to be a handful. She sighed tiredly, and let go of the blonde drummer.
"Well, I have- but they all just usually say it's ADHD or something stupid like that. They've been saying that since I was a kid," she muttered, irritation evident in her voice.
"Isn't bipolar depression genetic or something like that?"
"I don't know. And even if it were, I wouldn't know. I don't know my real parents."
"What... What do you mean by that?"
"Well, my mom was a single mother and she gave me up at birth because she decided she couldn't take care of me. I decided once I was 18 that I didn't care about meeting her and never went looking. This was all supposedly after deciding not to get an abortion and allowing me life, but not wanting me all the while."
Sango watched Rayne carefully, trying to imagine what that must be like. She tried to imagine what it must be like to be rejected by her mother. Rayne refused to meet her eyes. The drummer kept her frighteningly blue gaze glued to the floor. Her blonde hair fell forward in a shielding curtain. She wanted to keep Sango out but…
She looked up and gave a sad smile, "I guess that why I'm always doing the stuff that I do. I guess that's why I'm always trying to get attention. I want to prove that I was worth it; that it was the best decision to keep me alive… I just…. I don't know- I'm sorry about this."
Tears slipped down her cheeks and Sango felt a twinge of pain slip through her. She hadn't meant for the girl to start crying… she hadn't known. And she hadn't known the details of the girl's life. If she had known- she probably would've been more understanding when the girl was being difficult, or when she got herself into legal trouble. She would've realized it wasn't an act and wouldn't have formed the preconceived notion that the girl was just trying to get on her nerves.
"I'm sorry Rayne- I didn't know. But just to let you know, I'm extremely happy that you're a part of this band. With you, you bring your unique personality and attitude. You animate things and you give our band an image that's enviable. So don't ever think we don't appreciate you. It would've been easier for us to get along in the beginning if you had just told us what was going on; so I think it'll be in our best interest if you tell everyone tomorrow- perhaps at breakfast. Whenever is best for you, ok?"
Rayne just stared on at Sango, admiring the girl even more than before.
"Ah, thanks Sango," she said softly and then suddenly she laughed. "I wish I didn't have to feel so shy around you."
Sango didn't question that last statement. She knew what it was about- everyone in the band knew that was about. She, however, had to seriously be careful when even considering Rayne as a girlfriend. Could she handle the girl's enigmatic personality? Was her heart healed enough to take another blow? Could she let Rayne in and help the drummer heal as well?
Worry was replaced with slight irritation. Sango knew that in a few minutes she would be getting a phone call to go bail Rayne out of jail, or a police officer would come knocking on her door. Tired entirely by the girl's ridiculous streak of attracting trouble, she dressed herself properly and left the room. She traveled down to the basement, where their soundproof recording studio was located. She was going to play until her fingers bled. As she moved closer, however, she was surprised to hear the barely audible sound of someone pounding ferociously on a drum set.
As she approached the electronic sound panels, she looked into the one-way glass. Sango sat in one of the many chairs to watch and listen. It seemed like Rayne had added additional toms and symbols to the standard drum set. She was pounding on them all rhythmically and skillfully. Sango often marveled at the blue eyed drummer. She had always been amazed by drummers in reality- she knew she would never have the coordination to play so many instruments all at once. The green eyed girl listened softly, wondering if drummers could go solo; it'd certainly be something interesting. Suddenly, the sound of the crash symbols elevated and the whole flow of the music stopped stumblingly.
Rayne was crying. She threw her drumsticks across the room and buried her face into her hands. Sango frowned at this display. Would Rayne seriously take her decision to take the call wrong? Didn't she understand that it was important? She couldn't understand why she was acting this way. They'd eventually get the chance to make love again- they always did. Not as often as before, but it did happen when they both were feeling up to it. Sighing Sango sat, waiting for Rayne to emerge; she wouldn't dare barge into her partial privacy.
Moments later, Rayne exited the room. Her body froze tensely at the sight of her girlfriend sitting there with an empty face. Sango's green eyes stared piercingly into hers. This unnerved her at times. This time would not be an exception. She opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't find the words. Sango continued to stare at her until she finally decided that she would be the one to start the conversation.
"Come here," she ordered.
Rayne consented silently and was surprised that Sango pulled her down into her lap once she was close enough. Sango didn't particularly like to do this, seeing that Rayne was just a bit taller than her, but she did only because she knew that Rayne needed the physical contact. The drummer quickly wrapped her arms around Sango and buried her face into her neck. Sango noted that Rayne was ridiculously hot and slightly sweaty.
"Let's talk, huh?" the musician tried gently.
"I'm sorry for acting the way I did," a muffled reply came. "I was just upset- ya know? I mean, we were having sex, Sango. You can't just randomly say you're going to take a call. And to make it worse… it was that girl- your ex. And I could tell, by the way you were talking… that you… that you still love her. And now I'm wondering if you're going to break up with me or-"
"Whoa whoa whoa, let's not jump to conclusions now. That's not going to get us anywhere. I had to take the call because I had said in the letter, which you read, that I'd take the call. We can have sex anytime- you know that. How can you get angry about something like that?"
"Sango… we haven't had sex in weeks! I can't understand how you wouldn't know that? It's been like you've suddenly gotten bored with me and I feel more and more helpless every day. And then to add to that insecurity, you start talking to your ex again! Do you know how that makes me feel?"
"I don't love her like that anymore. We've been best friends for the longest time. I can't talk to my best friend anymore?"
"But Sango you…. Ah, just fuck it. I don't even know what to say anymore. I can't make my thoughts make sense."
That was the sudden mood change that Sango had been dreading.
"Ray, please don't take this so personally. I'm with you, you're with me. You're the only one I want right now," Sango said with certainty.
The drummer looked up at her girlfriend her eyes searching intently for something that just wasn't there.
"Do you love me, Sango?"
"Ray…" Sango felt at a loss. She had been with the girl for a couple of months now, and she still couldn't bring herself to tell her that she loved her.
The drummer sighed tiredly and unwrapped her arms from around the musician's body. She stood up and gave Sango a wry smile, "That's ok." Turning away she started back towards the steps. She stopped with one foot on the first step.
"I understand that you can't say that to me…. I understand that. But just know that I love you, Sango. And maybe that's not enough to make you love me back, but that's enough to keep me with you. I think that's enough to trust me too- I know you have a hard time with that. I do too, 'cause I've been hurt as well… but we can't keep playing around like this. These games are killing me inside."
She was gone.
Sango stared after her. She wondered deeply in her heart if she really did love the girl. Did she want to be with Rayne… or was her heart still crying after Kagome. It wouldn't make sense if that were the case.
Stuff like that didn't make sense but love itself was an indescribable entity and it couldn't be described with words because it didn't make sense. So did Sango love Rayne? No, not yet…. Not yet…. But would it ever happen? Sango hoped so, because this aching she had in her chest was driving her insane. She wanted to move on. She wanted to leave Kagome in the past. Sango wanted to mend their friendship, but leave it at that. Not take it any further. She wanted to give her heart fully to Rayne.
Tired and emotionally confused, Sango made her way back up to the room. She gently woke Rayne up, and they allowed themselves to fall into the pleasures that had been interrupted earlier in the night. It was a meeting, not of love, but of anger and frustration. They wouldn't worry about talking it out until the morning.
Please Review!
-Enigmatic Ethereality