A/N: This is the first Jogan thing I've ever written. I like it, but it's depressing as hell.

It goes with the song If You Ever Come Back by The Script.

PLEASE COME BACK

Hearing the apartment door open, Logan looked up from his drink suddenly. "Julian?" he called out hopefully, desperation evident, a repeat of every time anyone came in.

"No Lo, it's just me" Derek called back, sighing as he glanced at his mess of a best friend. Julian had been gone for 8 months now, and Logan still lived like the actor had just run to the corner store for milk. "How long has your door been unlocked?" he set down the groceries he brought over and opened the fridge, unsurprised when all he found was beer and a few open take-out contains that he'd brought over on his last visit.

"I don't lock the door. He left his key. If I lock the door, he can't get in. You know that, D" Gaunt, pale, shoulders slumped and eyes dark, the once-proud prefect walked into the kitchen and grabbed another beer. Derek didn't know how many he'd already consumed, but he could smell the alcohol pouring from the other man from across the room. Popping it open, Logan slurped off the top before slumping against the counter. "The light is always on, the door is always unlocked. Just in case I'm asleep or gone when he gets here, I want him to be able to get in. You know that." The utterly desperate, defeated look on Logan's face broke Derek's heart. He didn't even need to take his medicine anymore. It was as if Julian had ripped out all the passion Logan was capable of and packed it with his toothbrush. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Logan and Julian got together senior year, then got their apartment after graduation. They were supposed to stay together. But Julian decided he couldn't handle loving Logan: couldn't handle the fits and the medicine skipping and the confusion. He couldn't handle staying when things got hard, not like he thought he could, and so he left. He had left Logan alone and fled to Hollywood, where the emotions were shallow and easy to process. Last Derek heard he was living with his co-star, Cameron something, from the show.

He couldn't bring himself to tell Logan.

Logan who didn't lock the door in case Julian came home.

Logan who wouldn't listen when someone told him how long he'd been gone.

Logan who hadn't eaten for two weeks after Julian moved out.

Logan who couldn't accept that Julian wasn't coming back.

Derek had intercepted all the emails Logan sent for the first month after the break up. They all said the same thing:

"Julian. If you ever find yourself in a place where you're not ok, if you ever think about me, if you ever need anything, if you ever can't be alone: I'll leave the door on the latch if you want to come back. They'll be a light on in the hall if you ever come back. We can pretend this never happened. There'll be a smile on my face, and it'll be like you were never gone. Just please come back, Julian.

Please? "

He looked at Logan, a pale imitation of his former self, his fire gone. "I know, Lo, I know."

Julian had no idea what he'd done when he left, and he never would.

He was never coming back.

There's a sequel, but it's not quite finished. It's both smuttier and happier.