Author's Notes

Alright so here's the thing - The characters in this story are extremely OOC aka out of character. There are still similiar traits in their personalities and appereances, but a lot of things are different(I mean this story's main point is Kyle being female). So please, please, do not bomb me with things like, "That isn't like _ at all!" or "_ is so out of character!"

This is a made up story, which uses characters from a cartoon called "South Park" and I do not own any of the characters.

FURTHERMORE I am a aware that my other South Park story is uncontinued and that I haven't updated it in a long while. Please, give me more time. Honestly, half of it is lazyness, but the other half is real life issues. So believe me when I say I would of updated already if I could of.

Life isn't easy for a teenager, especially for a girl who's living her life as a guy. Who is this story about you ask? A boy who goes by the name Kyle, Kyle Broflovski. How did he come to be that way, you ask? Well, that is a story for another day. This story however, is about him and his struggles as a guy and keeping his real gender a secret from everyone around him.

It was a hot summer day, when Kyle stepped outside and shielded his eyes from the blazing sun. It wouldn't of mattered that much, if it weren't for his sensitive eyes. His eyes hadn't always been sensitive, at least mot to this extent, but after hours and hours of playing video games, they kind of started to tire. Soon enough he'd be forced to wear glasses, Kyle was sure of it, but for now he didn't, for his luck. If he were to start wearing glasses, he'd be the laughing stock of the whole school. He'd bet that even his closest friends would laugh, as it wasn't below them. In all honesty, in Kyle's opinion, this whole town was full of idiotic assholes, who didn't care about anyone else but themselves.

"Hey, Kyle!" his friend Stan shouts from afar, waving to him and Kyle smiles, when he finds him with his eyes. Stan was his best friend ever since he's been little. Sure they've had their fights and struggles, but in the end, they always made up. That dark-headed friend of his kept waving at him, until he finally reached him.

When he stopped waving, Stan let his arm fall down to his side and beckoned Kyle to follow him, which the latter did. Today they had decided to spend the whole day together, without Cartman and Kenny. As much as Kyle enjoyed having Kenny around, he sure as hell didn't enjoy having Cartman and since the two of them were always sticking to each other lately, there was no way Kyle could invite Kenny and not have Cartman tagging along. Seriously, it was really annoying and plain weird how Cartman had been acting lately, following Kenny around whereever he goes, but Kyle didn't ponder on those thoughts for long. Who cared what Cartman did, as long as he wasn't bothering him, that is.

Not long after, Kyle and Stan were standing before Stan's house. Stan's parents and his older sister were going to be home after a couple of hours, so they'd have the house for themselves for at least a little while, after which they'll go outside again and figure out where to go next. Glancing over at Stan, Kyle blinked, as the former held the door open for him. It wasn't strange or anything for Stan to do that, but for some reason Kyle felt that something was different. Not wanting to keep Stan waiting, Kyle shook those thoughts out of his head for now and entered Stan's house, with the other following behind him.

Once inside, Stan opened his mouth again, "I'll go get us some snacks, so you can turn the tv on and watch by yourself until I get back," he said nonchalantly, with his back to Kyle, while he was making his way to the kitchen. Kyle simply mumbled something in response, just to let Stan know he heard him and then plopped down on the couch. Grabbing the remote into his hand, Kyle turned on the tv and looked for a channel that wasn't on commercials or something extremely boring like news, which proved to be more difficult then he had anticipated. After a couple of minutes channelsurfing Kyle gave up and settled on a documentary about some kind of wild dzungle animals.

Half an hour later or so, not that Kyle had any idea how long after, Stan finally joined him and sat down next to him, leaving some space between them for the snacks. He had brought all kinds of unhealthy sweets and drinks and just looking at them made Kyle's mouth water. Seeing the look on Kyle's face, Stan let out a chuckle, before taking one of the many chocolate bars into his hands. Kyle followed stan's hands with his eyes and watched as the other slowly ripped the wrapping off, his fingers gracefully doing what they were supposed to. Then he cracked the bar in half and gazed over at Kyle, who was by now, completely under a tranze. He would of felt embarrased at being caught staring and drooling like this, if he wasn't so damn hungry and craving for chocolate.

Now, you're probsbly thinking why exactly waz Kyle acting like this, it wasn't like he was a fatty like Cartman, right? No, he indeed wasn't. He was however on his or well, on her period. The proof of that was the pad Kyle was currently wearing to prevent the blood from staining his clothes, which he had to admit, had happened in the past more then once. Periods wouldn't be such a pain for Kyle, if they weren't always on different dates every month. Sure, he always checked in the morning and if he went somewhere he took some pads with him just in case, but there were days when he forgot either by being too tired to realize or in too much hurt, sometimes just because he had misplaced them.

"Dude, are you okay?" is what brings Kyle back to reality and he focuses his eyes, to see Stan's worried face. Kyle lets out a nervous laugh and nods his head, which visibly relaxes Stan. The other then holds out half of the chocolate bar and says, "Your half." Kyle grabs it into his hands with glee and whispers a half-hearted thank you, before he starts devouring it. At that, Stan lets out another chuckle, before he takes a bite out of his own half and changes his gaze onto the tv.

Stomachs full with unhealthy snacks and eyes glazing over, the two stop their tvsurfing an hour later, with Stan suggesting they go play video games in his room. Appereantly he had the new Fighters Frenzy game, that had been rumoured to be the best one yet, with the new choice of multiplayer option. Kyle had wanted to play it for awhile now, but his mom, to his misfortune, did not give him any money nor buy the game for him. It sure was great having Stan as a friend.

Fifteen minutes or so into the game, Stan started to speak to Kyle about other topics besides what was happening in the game. It was all good and well, before he reached the topic of Wendy.

His eyes still glued to the screen, he asked, "So do you think Wendy will forgive me for looking at other girls?"

"Yup..." Kyle mumbled in response, hoping he'd get the hint. He didn't.

"Are you sure? Because last time we ended up having a huge fight! It lasted for a whole week, dude. Not kidding! She literally broke up with me for a whole week!"

"I know, I remember."

"Seriously though, that was such a bummer. I mean, only losers are single for that long."

"Uhuhh..."

"Wait, no! I mean, except you of course. Your mom is such a nag, so it'd understandable if you don't want her to lecture you... and stuff."

Kyle sighed at what Stan was saying, as the other had no idea that the reason why he didn't have a girlfriend was because he didn't like girls. Yes, he was a girl, who identified as a guy, who liked guys. That's how it had been as long as he had remembered. Only his family knew the former, the latter, he wasn't sure if anyone was aware. Kyle did have an inkling that Ike was aware though, not that he was completely sure of that just yet and there was no way he could just go up to him and ask.

"Stan, just drop it," I replied to him, my voice tired. This time, he seemed to get the hint.

Rest of the video game time was spent either quietly or shouting swearwords when dying. The air had been rather aswkward, so Kyle was overjoyed when he Stan'd family got home and they left the house, to find some other place to hang out. Stan didn't miss the sigh of relief that left Kyle's mouth, when they stepped outside and the guilt rose up agan within him.

"Look, Kyle, I'm really sorry about earlier.." he started, surprising Kyle and continued when Kyle faced him, "..I didn't mean it that way. It's totally ok if you wwant to be single and all that."

He seemed genuinely sorry, so Kyle forgave him. He knew Stan really did care about him, as he was his best friend.

"It's ok. I mean, I did overreact, so I guess were even."

Stan visibly cheered up, when Kyle forgave him and that also affected Kyle. The awkward air around them was gone and they both returned to normal. It didn't taske long, before they were chatting activly again and laughing at each others jokes. Kyle really liked having Stan as a friend, because even when he didn't undestand him sometimes, he tried his best to start understanding. Kyle couldn't wish for a better friend...

The rest of the day was spent with all kinds of foolishness and it was all rather great, until it wasn't, that is. They had been chatting about something random, while sitting on one of the park benches, when suddenly Stan seemed to get distracted from the conversation at hand. Kyle narrowed his brows and tried to see what had catched his friend's eye.

"Oh.." he mumbled outloud, when he saw it or well, her. Kyle groaned and the fake coughed, to get Stan's attention. He didn't seem to hear him, so he instead started to wave his hand infront of his eyes, which eventually worked.

Coming out of his daze, Stan blinked his eyes in confusion, before glancing over at Kyle with a puzzeled exprression.

Kyle stoped waving his arm and let it fall down again, before asking, "Weren't you worrying about what Wendy would think earlier?" His voice, when talking, had been cold. He was shocked and angry, to see that his friend was being a prick, yet agan. Sometimes he really did do stupid things, which Kyle just couldn't get his head behind.

"Oh, right, um.." Stan couldn't find the words to say, his hand scratching the back of his head, as he tried to avoid eyecontact.

Kyle clicked his tongue and bursted with emotion, "Really, Stan? Really!?"

Visibly flinching at Kyle's sudden outburst, Stan stood frozen for a moment, before bursting himself. "What?! Aren't you being really naggy today? You're acting like such a girl!" he shouted at Kyle, completely forgetting to think before speaking, while his hands balled into fists and eyes narrowed to tiny slits. He looked to be more furious then he has been in a while.

Kyle was about to shout back at his friend, before he processed what the other had said. Realisation flooded over him, like a gust of wind and he bit his lower lip, in an attempt to calm himself down, but it didn't work. In fact, it made it worse. His whole body starting to shake uncontrollably, Kyle stood up and looked at Stan one last time, his eyes about to water, before running off.

"...W-Wait! Kyle!?" He could hear his best friend calling out to him, a tint of confusion in his voice, but noone followed him. He ran and ran, until he reached home and when he rushed inside, he ignored his mother's greeting and went straight to his room, closing it with a loud bang. He couldn't let it happen again, not like that. Not after all the work he had put into it. Why was history repeating itself? Why?! Kyle was scared, he was beyond frightened. Fear had taken a strong grip at him and it didn't seem like it was planning on letting go any time soon now. Yet again he had been reminded of what he is, who he is...

It had been a few years ago, two years to be exact, when the accident happened. Blood... Blood had been everywhere. Kyle had woken up like any other morning and sat up at his bed, when he suddenly felt stickyness and when he threw the blanket onto the floor and saw what was waiting underneath, he paled. A loud scream had left his lips before he could stop it and in less then a minute, his parents were at his door, with worried expressions.

"What's wrong, Bubbeh!? are you okay?" his mother had asked, panicking and that's when her eyes fell on the bed and she quit panicking in an instant. She seemed calmer then she had ever seen before, as she walked over to Kyle's bed and sat down on the bed, next to her son. Giving a glance to her husband, a glance that seemed to say, "I've got this covered," she waited until he had walked out the door and closed the door behind him, before she looked at Kyle and smiled.

Kyle had looked at his mother with an expression, she had never seen before. True fear, that's wnat she saw. She had held him close and pet his head, whispering sweet nothings into his ears, before he calmed down and then she explained to him what was happening.

At first, Kyle couldn't understand anything that his mother was telling him, but after a while, he finally got it. The signs of his body maturing, the signs of a... a woman's body maturing. He had been living his life as a guy for so long, that he had completely forgotten what gender his body actually was and it had seemed like, that his mother had as well.

When Kyle had looked at his mother's eyes deeply, he had seen something he had never seen before. A look of pity, but that wasn't all. Warmth, a look of love. Suddenly his mother seemed like an actual mother to him, someone who woulds always protect and care for him, someone to lean and always hope on. That day had changed his relationship with his mother. They had truly reached each other that day.

He was laying on his back on his bed, when his phone buzzed. When he unlocked the screen, he saw a message from Stan. It said: "I'm sorry." That's all. It didn't make him feel better. It didn't make him forgive him. Why? Because there was nothing to forgive him for. He was angry, but he wasn't angry at his friend, he was angry at himself.

Kyle had been yet again reminded of what he really was, who he really was and it upset him. It upset him more then anything else in the whole wide world, even Cartman didn't upset him as much. Constantly being reminded of his "real gender" by the world was something that always got to him, more then it should of. Sometimes he blamed it on the hormones, but at other times, he blamed himself. No matter where he went on the internet or in real life, he heard them. He heard them speak of people like him. What he heard was never positive and it never made him feel godo about himself.

"Am I really that disgusting?" he asked himself, his hand in the air, reaching for something. What was it reaching for? He didn't know himself. All he knew, was that that he was missing something, but what it was, was a mystery. He grabbed at the air, he troed his best to catch whatever it was he was searching for, but to no avail. Whatever it was, it was unreachable to him.

With a sigh, Kyle sat up at his bed and grabbed the phone again. "You're forgiven." - That's what he replied to his friend. A friend he couldn't lose no matter what. If he were to lose him, he'd quite possibly fall apart and picking himself up again, well, he wasn't sure if that would even be possible. Stan had been his friend for so long, he almost felt liek his other half at times. At times, when he thought what would be the best action for himself next, he'd wonder what would be the best for Stan. If Stan was upset, then so was he. If he was upset, then so was Stan. It made him question what it really was what was between them.

Please review if you have anything to say or suggest and thank you for reading! I'm not sure when the next update is coming though, so I apologize for that in advance.