"You hate it." River said boldly and unexpectedly as she crept up behind Jayne, making him tense up a considerable amount. River like sneaking up on him and watching every muscle in his body ripple, ready to attack if something dangerous had approached him. Was she dangerous enough to warrant an attack from Jayne Cobb? She wasn't quite sure yet. She would have to test a carefully written out hypothesis on the idea later. For now, she was pondering his reactions to several different pretend situations until a loud, quaking stomp snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Dammit, girl. You gorram dinlo and your tip-toin' almost made me pull my gun on ya!" He exclaimed, his voice was stern but breathless from the smallish fright she had served him.

"You hate it." She repeated herself, trying hard to be patient with the dumb brute.

"Yes, I hate when little girls sneak up on big ol' men when they're minding their own gorram bizness!" He declared, his fits balled up tightly, trying to make himself look tougher, she decided mindfully.

"No, you hate the girl."

"Hate is a strong word but maybe I'd use somethin' a little bit stronger when it comes to you moony."

"Despise, loathe, detest, abhor..."

"Yeah, sure, one of 'em." He muttered annoyedly, his foot tapping anxiously, widhing mightly to get far away from the crazy chick.

"Why?"

"Why?" He mocked her question, "Look girly, I ain't got time for your silly inquisition. Now either you run along and hassle someone else or I tell Mal you, er, bit me or somethin' alright?"

"Do you want me to bite you? Because, you know, I've looked in on some of your dreams before and it seems like you like to be the one doing all the biting and such." She said it almost too innoncently for him to comprehend, a soft hint of a blush apparent on her face.

"What are you suggesting, tiny? You been snooping around in my head 'gain? 'Cause I told the doc if you ever used that voodoo Alliance mind readin' thing on me I'd whip you up real good." His voice sounded threatening but River just nodded in honest reply to his inquiries.

"Uh-huh. You think about some interesting stuff, Jayne Cobb." She stated factually, "I don't know what half of it means and it stretches out every piece of my brain trying to figure it out. You don't think about the same vanilla things Simon and Kaylee think about like strawberries and insulin. Kaylee dreams of oddly kissing my brother in a field of strawberries and Simon likes to pretend that Kaylee is a whorish looking nurse in his-"

"Stop it, you nosy bitch, I don't want to hear the crew's nasty inner monologues. I don't care if you snoop in on their doings and such, just don't bother with mine. You shouldn't be seeing or knowing the sorts of things I see and know so leave it alone. Got it?"

"Why not?"

"I'm tired of your silly games, River girl, go play somewhere else."

"You don't answer my questions, you don't play fair." She began to pout in his direction.

"You don't need to know every gorram thing that goes on in a person's head, child. You don't need to know a lot of things. Damn, I wish the Academy had thought about poor folk like me with they made you so fucking delusional." He sneered, his petty insults quickly growing out of hand before River Tam's bottom lip was trembling and her hands were shaking.

"I-I'm v-very...s-sorry." She whispered back to him, running off on wobbly feet that were usually so graceful back to her room.

"At least she'll stop messin' with my noggin' now." He mumbled, going back to his activities in which River had formerly interrupted.

River dashed down the hall until she was back in the confinements of her safe, cupboard-like quarters. She tiredly flopped onto her bed and sighed, one arm resting above her head and the other mindlessly dangling off the side of the bed. She looked up at the ceiling as if she could see stars through it's metallic grey mass.

"Two by two, hands of blue...coming to take me away from you..." She sang quietly, her head restlessly moving side to side. "Two by two, hands of blue... then there's nothing I can do..." A few tears escaped from her fatigued eyes. "Two by two, hands of blue...no crazy girl to bother you..." She sobbed herself into a deep slumber, repeating the poem throughout the night, weeping for Jayne Cobb.

Jayne laid on his bed after a nice long day of peaceful crime, his arms and legs were terribly sore from lifting cargo and his knuckles were bruised due to various bar fights the night before. He was quite the angry drunk and even Malcolm Reynolds knew well enough to steer clear of the bastard in his drunken state. He was sobered up enough now to do his work and take a well-deserved rest after all his labors.

He tossed and turned warily as he tried fruitlessly to fall asleep. His trials were to no avail and finally he gave up with a tough punch to his pillow. "It's that gorram girl!" He rubbed the top of his head and scratched the scruff of his neck. "Won't let me gorram sleep, making me feel so gorram awful... making me say gorram so many times in a gorram sentence!" He scowled in annoyance mostly aimed at himself. "Get your shit together, Jayne, you ain't going all soft and sympathetic on some silly little girl, it ain't happenin'." He scolded himself thoroughly before flopping backwards onto his bed, "Better go check on the unruly bao-bao." He muttered, heading for the door. "Damn her."

He bitterly made his way to her cabinet of a room. When he reached the door he experienced a moment of hesitation, was this the best idea? Knocking on her door after the emotional state she had left in before? Nah, but he never made that good of decisions anyway. He went to knock on the door but found that it was unlocked and let himself in. "Ahem, er, little girl?" He muttered a bit loudly, trying to gain her attention without completely frightening her like she had done to him. Jayne Cobb was definitely dangerous when taken by surprise but he knew that River Tam was at least ten times more fatal to scare the girl than it was with him.

River didn't look at him, her face buried deep into her primly fluffed pillow. At the academy there was a disturbing lack of such comforts so now she kept them close to her for a sense of security and home. "What is it?" She mumbled half-heartedly, "I'm not in the right space to be a pilot right now, tell Mal to bugger off for the time being." She was acting quite the grump, much like his usual aura, he realized.

"Nah, I don't think they'd ask you to pilot this late at night, girl. 'Sides, Mal oughta learn to do some real captainin' by himself." He commented rather offhandedly, "I came too, er...well, I don't wanna say it, dinlo chica, just mind read me or somethin', okay? Just this once, gotcha?" He grumbled at her.

"No, Jayne Cobb, I like your voice and I want to hear you say what you're so anxiously wanting to say." She turned over to face him at last, a smirk playing on her lips.

"You playin' with me 'gain, crazy girl, huh? I won't have it. I'll throw ya out the gorram air vent if that'll stop your damned silliness once and for all!" His temper began to flare warnings, telling River to back off but of course she would not. She liked to watch him squirm almost as much as she liked to imagine him making her squirm and writhe in...other ways.

"Talk." Her soft voice seemed to command him. He snarled at her but complied.

"Look, girly, I'm mighty sorry I pissed you off back there, 'right? So are we on okay terms now or do I have to let you scrape me up a bit? I'm not in the mood to get bloodied up but I'll do ot if that's what it takes." He mumbled, speaking reluctantly to appease her.

"No, no fights..." She mused, "Sit with me." She gently patted the empty space next to her on the bed. "It's cold in here, all I ask is that you keep me warm." The smirk was no longer dancing across her features, she was serious this time. Immensely genuine with her words.

"No gorram way that's gonna happen, sweetheart. I'm a big ol' man and if your brother or Mal or anyone else on this junker waltzes on in here and sees me in your bed with you, you'd all be eating me for supper!"

"Fine then, we'll go to your room. My room is much too small anyway." Before he could reply, she grabbed her pillow and his giant hand and headed straight for his chambers.

"N-Now wait a sec, little thing, I don't think this is a good dea. I'm not too keen on sharing my bed with the likes of you, you're a hunk of gorram trouble for me and I won't be puttin' up with it. Go back to your room, girl."

"Nuh-uh. I'm sleeping in your big bed with you and you'll hold me and keep me nice and warm. I'll be a good little girl, Jayne. I won't fuss or complain, quiet as a field mouse..." She trailed off as she crawled, half dressed in her night clothes, onto the bed.

"There'll be no holdin' of any sorts tonight, princess crazy." He said, crossing his arms and sitting on the edge of his unlawfully invaded bed.

"You're safe. You make the girl feel very safe and protected." She yawned as she spoke.

"Yeah, well, I've seen you protect yourself well enough, little lady. You do a mighty fine job of it. You don't need me to watch over you."

"I can...but I want you with me. It's safer with you here too." She said quietly, squishing his pillow and her own together to mix the aromas.

"Have you not been hearing me, little lady? I said none of this is...none of it is right, I'll go to that special hell Mal and Book talk about, ta' be honest I'm fine with the regular ol' hell myself...you can sleep here tonight but I'll be on the floor, got it?" His scowled weakened, the corners of his lips forming a softer expression.

"Nuh-uh." River pouted rather childishly, "Hold me."

"Little girl, there will be no holdin' or touchin' of any kind, 'kay? Go to bed." He sighed, making his resting area on the floor. River crawled off the bed and nuzzled his side, he pushed her away but she kept insisting on coming back to bother him. "River..." He spoke through gritted teeth with evident warning.

"Jayne..." She whined in mock reply.

"Why are you so eager to cause me trouble, huh? Why d'you insist on being next ta' me? Go to sleep or somethin', you're exhaustin' my patience." He grumbled.

"If you hold me I promise to be extra good, Jayne. I promise. We can even do special stuff if that would please you." She stated clearly and in words he would comprehend.

"Special stuff? What the gorram hell are you talkin' 'bout?"

"The special stuff you dream about. You know, when you touch the girls in private special places and-"

"Stop!" He quickly got up to his feet, a little shaky. "Don't be saying those sorts of things, especially 'round me, you got it? You don't know what sort of trouble you'd be in for...and for fuck's sake stay out of my dreamin'!"

River Tam recoiled only a centimeter, her eyes glowing with the pain of his obvious disdain and rejection of her. "I didn't wish to anger you, sir, I only wanted to...to please you."

"Don't go on like that, girly, you're temptin' me somethin' mighty fierce right now and I...I don't need more trouble, not the sort you're lookin' to get me in. I can be pleased just fine when we land with some real nice whores...and darlin', you're no whore."

"I can be!" She said almost too excitedly, receiving a look of paralyzed shock from Jayne Cobb, "We'll play pretend, you'll be the big bad and I'll be the whore. It'll be fun..."

"It won't be too awfully fun for you, sweet thing." He sighed, feeling as if the longer this conversation lasted, the furthur into the depths of hell he fell. "How many big bad men have you been with, huh? You ever..."

"Will my answer be the deciding factor for what we do next? What would you like to hear?" She eyed him, attempting to read his facial expressions rather than his scrambled mind.

"I'd like to be hearin' your gorram footsteps down the hall and away from here, little girl." He muttered, cursing himself as he slowly became aroused, "It's almost too late..." He wanted to add, but decided to keep the warning to himself.

"No, Jayne...I haven't been with anyone...I've been locked up since I was fourteen." Her facial features twisted into a grim expression but perked up only moments later, "Not many chances there, right?" She took a crack at making a joke, only getting an annoyed groan from the male.

"I'm not gonna be the guy to take your-" He shook his head, not wanting to say the "V" word, "To take your...innoncence, 'kay? Not my thing, not...not interested." He stepped away from her, trying his best to play the part of the big bad, hurting the girl now so he didn't damage her later on.

"We can just pretend...just like I'm one of the whores..." She appeared downcast and broken by him, her voice but a trembling whisper, "I won't make any sounds...I won't tell...I'll be your good little whore, I promise..."

River could not have realized that she was talking pretty dirty and that it was sending the older man right over the edge but that;s exactly what she was doing to poor Jayne. It was starting to become difficult to hide his continuously growing endowment, begging to pop out of his loose cargo pants. "Just pleasin'? No talkin' 'less I ask ya somethin'?" Even the best prostitutes couldn't do that for him. They were always too loud for their own good.

"You wouldn't even have to think about me, sir...Just holes for you, not a real girl..." She still spoke so softly that Jayne almost thought it was all in his own head, a ghostly whisper in his ear, teasing and taunting him.

"Get on the bed, little one...go to sleep." For a moment her heart leapt at his words...and then fell to the pit of her stomach once more.

"P-please...I-I promise..."

"Go to sleep, girl, no protestin'. The two of us are in too much trouble as it is..."

She sighed and reluctantly crawled back up on his comfy bed, "Yes, sir...but if you change your mind, just wake me up...or don't, whatever it is that you prefer..." She trailed off, wrapped up in thought.

"Goodnight, Jayne Cobb." She said softly, but he was already pretending to be asleep.

River harmoniously fell into soft slumber, her thoughts turning into vacant dreams. She often grew quite bored of her dreams, most of the time they were nightmarish spectacles she remembered from the Academy or her shelving books in a library for all of eternity. These dreams were too quiet for her tastes. Not many sounds could be heard in these shallow stupors. Soon she found herself mindlessly wandering into Jayne Cobb's fantasies. She was used to his graphic euphorias such as immense bloodshed, assassination plotting, and hardcore fornication and often she observed his dreams to learn things that Simon's books could not teach her.

In this dream, however, something stuck out like a sore thumb. It looked like his average "visiting a whore" type of fantasy but it became stranger and stranger by the second. He was in his own bed with a girl pressed beneath him, she was whimpering and moaning excessively, her hands tightly grasping the sharper edges of his shoulder blades. River could see perfectly how his muscles tensed and flexed within the embrace of the small creature beneath him. That struck River to be very strange. Usually he would buy out volumptuous prostitutes with incredibly large breasts. Whores much more womanly then the one writhing underneath him.

She stepped a little closer, still making sure to stay out of Jayne's eyesight. If he realized she was tapping into his dreams after he repeatedly told her not to again, he would be profoundly furious.

"T-Take it...be a good girl for me..." He was far more vigorous when fucking this one, almost brutal...but she was loving it. Both River and the female Jayne continued to pound into, seemed to extremely enjoy what was unfolding. River Tam could not help but let her curiosity get the better of her, taking the final step to the bedside as Jayne climaxed and the girl screamed out with a voice that she recognized as her own.

She tried to stay quiet and not be alarmed at this...well, this intensely alarming development. "You feel so fucking good." Jayne groaned, collapsing atop the other River in a sweaty heap of pheromones. The River in Jayne's dream didn't reply but seemed to still be whimpering, crying...sobbing. "N-No...p-please don't cry, bao-bao..." The panic was evident in his tone of voice, he stroked her face and caressed her endearingly but nothing helped. Her weeping only grew louder and louder until the dream ended and she could hear Jayne Cobb jolt awake, panting breathlessly. Within a short matter of seconds, she could feel his eyes on her.

Jayne woke up, shivers running down is spine with shuddering cold sweats. River pretended she was still asleep, her heart beating frantically out of her chest. She wasn't able to control her emotions or the effect they had on her movements. She was shaking with anxiety, it couldn't be helped, and she was out of control. "J-Jayne?" She whimpered, her breathing was shallow, her voice quaking. He heard her and froze. "J-Jayne...p-please come here...I-I need you..." She spoke a little louder, her voice hoarse.

"Go back to sleep, girl." His voice sounded composed enough, equipped with its usual gruffness.

"P-please..."

"Jayne…lay with me…I-I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what, bao-bao, me?" He snapped at her, making her curl up into a ball as he arose. "Stop messin' with my dreams and you won't be gettin' so frightened."

"I-I'll make the dreams happen…you can have me, y-you don't have to pretend to like me, y-you can use me…I-I want you…"

"Why are you bein' so nonsensical, all o' sudden?" He griped, "You'll get me in a whole lotta trouble…"

"N-No one has to know about me… I-I'm not a prize, not something to brag over anyway…" She trailed off, her eyes glazing over… until Jayne snapped his fingers between her eyes.

"River, stop the crazy train right there-" He was interrupted by her small, slender hand guiding his up under her thin dress.

"I-It's so warm down there, Jayne, it burns…" She moaned, making his fingers rub against her heat. "H-Help me… and I'll help you…" He was still generously erect from his immensely wet dream as he began to stroke him graciously. Her eyes widened as she realized the length of his endowment, her stubby, almost childlike, finger hardly able to wrap around him.

"River…" He groaned her name as his will to resist her slowly slipped away.