Quick A/N: I've had this laying around in my notebook for ages now so I decided to finally type it up and post it. I don't own Degrassi nor do I own the Fitzy Needs a Date song by the wonderful Kary who also makes an appearance in this story. So close your eyes and let your boy, Fitzy comfort you as you read. I hope it'll make you laugh.

Fitzy Needs a Date

Concert Edition

Written by Nico di Angelo will be MINE

2016

Fitz was warming up for his awesome performance tonight. It may even change his life. He was jumping- literally –in anticipation of his performance at Above the Dot in a few hours.

When Clare heard his song, she'd be all over him.

It had taken him 5 years to write his awesome-sauce song and he couldn't wait for her to hear it. I was called 'Fitzy Needs a Date'.

He had spent his life savings ($300) making his song. It had required a couple of geeky nerds who used to be a band called the Three Tenners and the lyricist who helped him write it. (His name was Kary)

He knew Clare and Eli were married now, but he couldn't give her up. So he was going to get on the stage at their daughter's first birthday party and sing his song. Potentially emotionally scarring multiple people in the process.

Ah, well no reason to keep thinking about that, anyway. He was going to do it regardless.

Fitz practiced his scales making sure his voice was absolutely perfect. If it was off, his whole plan would be ruined; Clare hates crappy singers.

~LINE BREAK~

Clare and Eli were having a wonderful party at Above the Dot. It was their daughter, Elcie's first birthday. They were just about ready to start opening presents and all was still going well.

As soon as the unwrapping of the first gift began, Fitz popped up on the stage and went up to the microphone. Conner, Dave, and Wesley weren't far behind.

Conner got his computer set up while Wes put his flute together. Dave also grabbed a microphone.

This puzzled the poor party-goers and enraged Eli. How dare Fitz show up at Elcie's party. He thought. But, by the time he had finished processing this, the music had already started.

"Hey. It's your boy, Fitz and Three Tenners. This is for my Boo. Clare, close your eyes, let your boy, Fitzy comfort you. Don't try to fight it; there ain't nothing that you can do." Fitz sang in a beautiful alto tone.

Everyone's mouths dropped to the ground. Well, everyone except Elcie. She was squealing with joy. Apparently, she liked the song.

"Relax your bod, you're looking kinda hot. Can you feel my heat? Then come on in my kitchen and get some Fitzy love. 'Cause Fitzy needs a date tonight. Or I'll cut Eli with a knife. 'Cause Fitzy needs a date tonight. So let me rock your body, when Eli dies, you'll still have Fitzy-Poo. Clare, be my Boo, forever." Fitz continued to sing magnificently. He knew Clare would definitely want him, now.

Suddenly, Dave popped out of nowhere and started rapping. "Yo, my heart goes crazy when I think about Sadie. So I know how you feel, Fitz tell Clare, baby that you're more than just a thug that's lookin' at her butt. Wes might've grabbed her boobs, but you wanna grab her love. Word on the street, Fitz got that heat like Dave in the stereo pumpin' that beat Clare listen." He then disappeared into the background.

"Cause Fitzy needs a date. 'Cause Fitzy needs a date." The chorus repeated numerous times before the music eventually faded out.

By the end of the song, everyone had left. Well, everyone besides Clare's mom, Helen.

"You know, I really liked your song, Fitz. It was very catchy. Want to have sex in the back of my car?" she whispers in his ear.

Fitz just stands there confused. "Uh, sure, Mrs. Edwards." He says.

"Come on, Fitzy-Boy. By the way, call me Helen. Or Sex Monkey, either or."

"O-ok, Helen."

And so they left. And they did it in her car.

EL FIN.