Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. The characters and story belong to director Daron Aronofsky and the writers. But Lord, do I wish I owned Mila Kunis ;)

Author's Note: This is my first time writing a story in quite some time... I've dying for Nina/Lily stories lately, but there really haven't been many. I'm writing this story for two reasons: One, I'm trying to write the story that I really want to read, and two, maybe reading this story will inspire somebody else to write also, and we can slowly start building up a Black Swan collection! I have 12 chapters planned, and reviews are what will keep me writing and posting. I hope you enjoy!

The first thing I was aware of when I woke was a lullaby, humming softly in my ears and pulling me toward consciousness. I could feel my body, every inch of it, but I couldn't feel it in relation to my surroundings... where was I? All I could tell was that the soothing tune was close to me, close enough that I could feel vibrations, and then the slightest breeze on my arm. Somebody was with me.

When I finally opened my eyes, I was greeted with the sight of my mother, sitting in a chair and resting her arms on the side of my bed, extremely close. She was humming a tune, which I now recognized as the song of my childhood... The song from my jewelry box. Only when I slightly shifted my head did she look up and realize that I was awake. Hey eyes lit up, and I didn't believe I'd ever seen a more genuinely happy look on her face.

And yet, I was uneasy.

"Oh thank God, Sweetheart, you're awake." She stood and began fussing around, seemingly not knowing what to do. "How are you feeling? Do you need water? I should get somebody, that's what you need.

She leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Don't worry, Mommy's here. I'll take care of everything."

Once I was alone, I tried to piece everything together. Why was I in the hospital? The last thing I remembered was dancing the Black Swan, though that memory was hazy. In fact, the only thing I remembered clearly was arriving at the theatre and discovering that Lily was taking my part.

Oh my God, Lily. Did I...? No, I didn't. I imagined it. I can't remember much, but if I had hurt her, I would be in trouble, and it seemed that only my mother was there waiting for me regain consciousness. I felt relief...

That was two weeks ago. I still can't seem to form a coherent timeline of the opening night. From what I've been told, I lost consciousness, due to blood loss, directly after I danced the White Swan's finale. I was unconscious for 3 weeks. I haven't had many visitors, just my mother, one girl from the studio and, surprisingly, Thomas. I don't know if you could even count my mother as a visitor. She literally hasn't left me alone since I woke up.

Actually, she's not here right now. For that, I'm thankful. Even though my mother has always been overbearing, it never bothered me before like it does now. I'm not a child. I'm a woman, and for the first time in my life, I truly feel like one. What's changed? I feel like a new person, and it's scary. As if I don't even know myself. I've found myself thinking thoughts that I've always repressed, finally being unable to keep them at bay.

I've laid in bed for two weeks, having nothing else to do but be examined by the doctors and ignore my hovering mother. The restless feeling in me has pushed me to fantasizing, imagining what it would be like to be anywhere else. I think about pleasure, be it laying on the beach or having wild sex that I'd never dreamt of having before. I'm blushing thinking about it now, or more accurately, blushing because I seem to have no problem thinking about it. I watch the nurses bend over doing things, thinking about what it would feel like to reach out and touch...

OK, time to relax. Relieving this feeling isn't really an option in here. Not only was privacy non existent, but I was still in pain. They found a broken piece of mirror in my stomach, which had been in there so long that it had done a lot of damage. It's a mystery how it got there, though I feel like the doctors are waiting for me to admit how it happened, as if I can remember.

I'm also tired from putting every bit of energy I have into not thinking... Not thinking about my injuries, my mother, or how my future in ballet may now be nothing but a dream.

No, I can't go there. I can't think that. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts. Maybe I should nap and let my mind rest for a while. I close my eyes, and as I slowly start to drift asleep, I hear a voice in the distance. Her voice.

I can hear a nurse speaking now. "... room 324, dear. I think you're the only visitor right now."

I hear her thank the nurse, and then the click of her boots starts to get closer, and I know that I can't see her right now. I shut my eyes and try to slow my breathing, faking slumber. I hear her pause in the doorway, and I don't think I imagined a soft sigh.

She enters the room and places something on the table next to my bed. Flowers, probably. Then, to my utter horror, she sits on the edge of my bed and goes silent. I'm panicking, praying that she doesn't know I'm awake.

"Hey, Nina," she whispers, stroking my hair back softly. I really can't believe this is happening. "It's Lily. I came to see how you are... It sucks that you're sleeping, but I guess you need to."

I feel her lean closer, so close that I can feel her breath next to my ear. Her voice is so quiet that I'm not sure if I'm imagining it. "The production is over. I tried to be as good... I wasn't. I'm sorry I let you down." Then she got off of the bed and stayed still for another second. Is she watching me? I hear her start to move away.

Then, she pauses again, and says a bit louder, "I'll see you soon, Nina." Her footsteps get further away, and after a minute or two I dare to open my eyes. She's gone.

I surprise myself, then, when the relief does not wash over me. Instead, it's more like a sense of loss. I sigh to myself... Shit.