Untitled One Piece Parody of Pee-Wee's Playhouse
By Winter Knight
A/N: I definitely do not own One Piece, Pee-wee's playhouse and especially the Pee-Wee Herman Character. Usa and Ko belong to Emma Iveli, my beautiful girlfriend and fellow Wiggin.
Note: Pee-Wee 's Playhouse returns to Cartoon Network's Adult Swim on July 10th
Up Next on Cartoon Network, it's "Luf-fee's Playship
C'mon get up! Knock off your nappin'
It's a crazy messed up place where anything can happen
There's a grill that freakin' talks,
hey look!There's a robot that give advice, holy snap!
It's screwy in Luf-fee's Playship, haha
Monkey D. Luffy shows up in a grey suit, red bowtie, and his trademark straw hat and introduces himself to the audience in a high pitched voice "I'm Herman D. Luf-fee and welcome to my playship haha! We're gonna have lots of fun here but first we need to know what the secret word of the day is" and so he activates Franky and then the cyborg introduces himself "I am Franky and I'm ready to assist you Luf-fee" and the secret word comes out of his mouth and Luf-fee holds it and shows it to the audience and says "the secret word of the day is…MEAT!" but then George Foreman Grill-ey says "but Luf-fee, that was last week's secret word! And the time before that, and the time before that and so forth and the joke involves how the previous host got in trouble" and then Luf-fee says is it because he was caught beating his…" but before he can finish, Ko shows up in a executive suit saying "Hey you want to get in trouble like San-jee…" said Ko.
(Flashback)
San-jee dressed the same as Luffy was being arrested by Smoker and Tashigi both dressed like standard cops. "But officers… I didn't even go to the adult movie theater yet, haha" said San-jee. A annoyed Smoker says "we're placing you under arrest for umm…(whispers why he was arrest to San-jee that isn't suitable for sensitive readers to know), you host a kid show while doing such a thing, and all those times you use the words "Hentai", "Yaoi", "Yuri", and "porno" as "secret words" You're a Pervert!"
San-Jee then says "I know you are...but what am I! HAHA!" Smoker then konks San-Jee on the head with the broad side of his sword.
(Flashback ends)
Luf-fee then says "well I guess I'll get a new secret word and…(holds the paper with the word) the new secret word is… DREAM, remember whenever someone says the secret word.. scream real loud! Let's try it… to be king of the pirates is my DREAM (scream real loud when the secret word is uttered) and the author's favorite horror movie is "A Nightmare on elm street 3: DREAM Warriors, haha!" "Okay Luf-fee… but if you get in trouble I'll be back…" said Ko who leaves.
Luf-fee then rides on a little car and sings a little song
"Herman D. Luf-fee having fun, e-i-e-i-o
Herman D. Luf-fee like to eat, e-i-e-i-o
With a meat meat here and a meat meat there,
Here's a meat, there's a meat, meat meat everywhere
Herman D. Luf-fee having meat, e-i-e-i-o!
But then he parks near "PuppetLand", a stage where the PuppetLand band (Chicky Baby, Dirty Dog, and Cool Cat) are performing, Luf-fee says "this is great, I got musicians for my crew and…and..and…" and then Luf-fee makes a creepy face and Chicky baby asks "why are you looking at us like that Luf-fee?" and he pictures them as food and says "Mmm…chicky baby pot pie, dirty hot dog, and cool cat chow mein (sorry Chinese people!) and then he tries to eat chicky baby while the other puppets say "oh no, he's trying to eat us again! I thought we told you, we're made out of felt!" and then Miss Nami, "the most beautiful woman in all of Puppetland" suddenly appears and socks Luf-fee in the head and says "I was gonna borrow a few bucks and I find you trying to eat my musicians again, do it again and you'll be a new puppet when I stick this stick up where the sun don't shine!" and then she storms off. Luf-fee gets up and tells the audience that he's gonna play with some toys.
Luf-fee then pulls out giant underpants and tells the audience "look, it's my giant underpants, you can do a lot of cool things with giant underpants, just watch! (Luf-fee takes off his straw hat and puts it on his head and wraps it around his head) look! A turban, haha! ( the giant underpants unravel) oooh! Princess Vivi, haha! You can pull them down like this if you want, and you can make… a suave vest! Look, Sanji! Haha! (imitates Sanji) Nami my dreamcicle, Luf-fee stop eating the meat! ... haha!...GIANT UNDERPANTS!
Luf-fee then pulls out a giant bra and puts it over his eyes and says "look, a blindfold for aliens! Haha" and then he puts it on his head and starts chanting ceremonially (congratulations to the person who got this joke)
Ko shows up and says "Luf-fee… do you know what bras are for?" and then Luf-fee says "umm…it's a neat toy and used for ceremonial reasons…haha!" Ko began to twitch "You honestly don't know…" said Ko. Luf-fee says "well it must be a toy because it's so fun to play with… (puts them over his eyes) look, I'm a alien from Uranus, haha!" Ko sighed, "Okay… I'll go now…" said Ko, whispering to herself "I don't envy whoever has to teach him that"
Then Luf-fee hears a knock at the door and when he opens it he sees Usa dressed as a hippy and says "I'm offering you a delicious carrot smoothie and a tofu burger" and then Luf-fee slams the door while screaming and yells out "AAAAAH!...VEGETARIAN!..haha!"
There was a pink light on the other side of the door, Luf-fee opens it and it's Usa glowing. "I think you should reconsider my offer…" she said angrily. And then Luf-fee says "in your DREAMs!" Usa begins to glow brighter.
A please stand by card is shown showing Usa and Luffy in their regular clothes fighting over a piece of cake.
Luf-fee is covered in bandages and says "I learned something about vegetarians boys and girls, never get them angry…oh look, the king of anime is here! Yippee! haha"
Sanji then Shows up as "the King of Hentai" and says "Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, and friends of the Playship, let the Hentai…begin! And it's 4 hours of "La Blue Girl" Ko shows up "Wait! Wait! Wait! Who hired you back?" he asked. "I did it! Because he's my good friend!" said Luf-fee. "Your fired again…" said Ko. Sanji says "fine, I'll just get that job at the food network…BAM!" Sanji storms off. "I just don't hope that he doesn't hump the turkey…" said Ko, "I'll be back if you do anything. By the way Luf-fee, being a popstar is my DREAM" Luf-fee stared at her and said "Then why are you working as an executive?" "I have no idea… this fanfic makes no sense…" she said she walked away.
Luf-fee's stomache is grumbling and says "I'm hungry, I wish I can have some porterhouse steak, and then a voice comes from a box that says "Wish? Did someone say wish?" and then Luf-fee says "but I thought the secret word of the day was DREAM". The box opens to the head of Zoro. "Oh its Zolo!" said Luf-fee. "Damn it Luf-fee! For the last time its Zoro not Zolo and what your wish?" said an extremely grumpy Zoro. "Oh… I want a big porterhouse stake!" said Luf-fee. "At least its better than was San-jee would wish for..." mumbled Zoro.
(Flashback)
"YOU WANT TO WISH FOR WHAT?" yelled Zoro. "… that right… mud wrestling babes with whipped cream and small bikinis…haha!" said San-jee.
(End of flashback)
"I can't wait to get a better job… or least pay off Nami…" mumbled Zoro and then he says "well in ancient zoro-nese I will use the magic words to summon your steak, now repeat after me…
Mekka-lekka hi mekka hiney ho!
Mekka-lekka hi mekka chonny ho!
Mola-mekka chana mekka hoola molla hey!"
and a larger porterhouse steak appeared, "the wish is granted, long live Zoro"said the Moss-headed genie. "Yay!" cheered Luf-fee. Zoro sighed and said "Hey Ko!" Ko showed up, "Yeah?" asked Ko. "I need to talk to you later discussing my contract…" said Zoro. "Sure thing… even I think you don't get paid enoguh…" said Ko she walked away and his box closed.
After Luf-fee finished that huge porterhouse steak…he was gonna wish for another one but he remembered that Zoro the genie can only grant one wish per day and feels like playing with magic screen but then he hears a knock on the door and thinks it's Usa the hippy, wanting to offer him vegetables but it turns out to be Robin the Mail-lady and and has a bunch of mail, magazines and boxes for Luf-fee to go through and before she leaves, she warns Luf-fee that some of it is for San-jee and if he finds some, give it to Ko. Luffy opens one of the boxes and find infaltable doll. "Oh wow! It's a new toy!" said Luf-fee. Sanji shows up and says "Hey Luf-fee that's mine!" Ko then shows up, "I thought you left…" said Ko. "I needed to get my mail… okay…" said Sanji. "
I said leave… or I'll have to make you…" said Ko taking out a Kunai in each hand.
A please stand by sign is shown with Ko looming over Sanji angerly, both in their regualr clothes. Sanji's reading Make-out paradice and Ko had a kunai in each hand.
It comes back with Sanji on a gerney, all banged up and cut badly. Chopper is pushing him towards an ambulence. Ko bitterly says "I hate that pervert…" she leave with all the mail that was adressed to San-jee.
Luf-fee sits on chairry and says to the audience "oh boy, going through mail makes me even more hungry..IT'S PLAYTIME! Haha! I think I'll go play with magic screen" and then Luf-fee goes inside magic screen and pulls out some dots and connects them while singing "Connect the dots…lalala, connect the dots…lalala" and then the dots form a giant BBQ ribs which Luf-fee eats and then he farts so big he jumps out of the magic screen and lands on chairry, chairry is concered that the ribs Luf-fee is eating will drop on her and stain.
And then Luf-fee feels like playing with his magic glasses and then a pair glasses with a monkey's head says "over here Luf-fee, put me on!" and when Luf-fee puts them on, he imagines everything on the Playship as Meat and the kitchen sink pours out gravy and then Luf-fee says "I'm back in the Land of meat! Just like in my DREAMs, haha!" he eats his ventriloquist dummy Billy Bologna and says "Mmm…taste like bologna, haha!" and as Luf-fee tries to eat the Puppetland band again, Miss Nami returns and takes off his magic glasses and says "what did I tell you about eating the Puppetland band?" and Luf-fee says "umm…fish smells bad because they're dead, haha!" then Miss Nami says "no, that's what Ko always says." So she just knocks him on the head and walks away telling her "oh by the way, your best friend Cowboy Usopp is coming over, I hope you 2 don't play "Brokeback Mountain" again. Now if you will excuse me, I gotta blow up some snorks."
Luf-fee looks outside Mr. Window and see Cowboy Usopp appear and when he shows up, he is seen wearing a trench coat and a cowboy hat and then he goes up to Luf-fee and says "You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes." Luf-fee says "mmm…candy, haha!" and he eats the blue pill and Cowboy Usopp gets angry because Luf-fee took the blue pill and then everything turns white.
Luffy wakes up and it turns out to be a strange vision and then Luffy says "wow, what a strange DREAM (everyone on the Merry Go screams) Luffy wonders why was everybody screaming and Robin tells him it's because "master doctor had some wild berries and he has a case of the trots" and then Luffy then gets up and pushes a button on the Mast head, revealing his scooter and then Luffy puts on a helmet over his straw hat and says "well I gotta go boys and girls and remember… DREAMs come true!" and then no one screamed that time and then Luffy and his scooter jumps off the ship and Luffy is drowning. "Where did the scooter come from?" asked Usopp. "I don't know… but someone should go save him…" said Nami. "Genie boy should go save him." Said Sanji pointing to Zoro. "Genie boy?" said Zoro. Ko rolled here eyes while Usa said "I'll just go save him…".
The End.
Note: I have interest in doing another Pee-wee Herman story in the form of a parody of "Pee-wee's Big Adventure", I need your feedback about this story and NO, I AM NOT ON CRACK AT THE TIME NOR IS MY BRAIN REPLACED WITH RAT DROPPINGS!