Author's Note: This story takes place post series when the girls are in their final year of high school. Please also note that I am borrowing a lot of the mythology given in the manga as well as the anime. I am using the Japanese names, so if you don't know what they are (which I'm sure you do by now) please look them up. I don't intend to use any Japanese in the story so you don't need a pocket dictionary next to you ;) I hope you enjoy the story!

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Entry One

I was a princess in a past life. There. I finally wrote it. For years, I've known it and ignored it. I've known and ignored a lot of things. There used to be life on other planets. I was the princess of Mars. Deimos and Phobos were my handmaidens. I would attend balls and I owned gorgeous gowns. I would not become ruler one day. I knew that. My younger brother, Ares, would take the crown. I was never bothered by that. I had a higher purpose. I was the soldier guardian of the planet. The god, Mars, had laid his hands on me and blessed me with his power. Calling on the ancient flames of my red planet, I was the soldier called Sailor Mars.

Only eight other girls in my solar system had the honour of being a soldier of their planet. We were each princess of our own planet and each touched by their god to protect their home and the entire solar system. There was one girl; however, we would bow our knee to. She was different than us yet she was the same. She was a peasant girl from unknown origins. She was beautiful and kind hearted. I had a crush on her that I could never admit to myself. She was the ultimate warrior. We all believed it. We all believed she was the strongest soldier out there. She only transformed once on that fateful night that would put everything into motion. She was the guardian of our galaxy, Sailor Galaxias. She was our leader.

My thoughts are feeling scattered. I read this over and I feel like I'm crazy. I must be. Man is to die but once, right? I could be delusional but these memories are crystal clear to me. I remember a younger brother who believed he was better than I was because he was going to rule Mars. He never understood the role that I had. He saw me as a weak female, dressed in gowns and who knew how to needlepoint. He never acknowledged the power that I held. He never realized that if things were to go bad, it was I that would rule things. I was the true ruler of Mars since it was I who had been touched by our god. Ares never seemed to understand that if we had a hierarchy, I was not below him. He did not understand that I was not his equal. I was so far above him, he wouldn't be able to make me out.

The other soldiers and I were so far beyond him, he wasn't left in our dust. I never tried to rub that in his face. I didn't want to be ruler like he was. I was tried to be a soldier but taught to act like a princess. I was okay with my role in life. Not all the soldiers were like that, however. The soldier of Venus was very proud of her position. She would not let anyone forget that in all the solar system there were only eight others that there were her true peers. I think we were her only friends, despite the fact that we rarely saw each other. I think we were the only ones she trusted. Maybe that was because no one else could understand. We all knew what the power inside us could do to us if we let it. Her aunt was the soldier of Venus before her and she was driven mad by the power. I never asked what happened or details but I had heard that she used her power to kill herself and she almost killed V at the same time.

That was another thing. We all had names, of course. I was High Princess Minerva but we never called the other soldiers by their birth names. For example, we never called Gaia "Gaia," to us she was Earth, or when we were feeling lazy, it was just E. We shorted all the soldiers' names into a single letter. We couldn't do that for Mercury and myself otherwise it would have been confusing but for the others it was okay. Sometimes I thought that by doing so we were taking away our identity but when we were soldiers, we had no identity. We had a mission. I wasn't High Princess Minerva. I was Sailor Mars, the Soldier of Battle and I was protecting or fighting whatever. I was a weapon that did what was needed. Few understood what that mean but us eight did. When we were fighting, our family, our friends and ourselves don't matter. We weren't touched to save just them. We were blessed to save everyone.

I remember all these small details. I remember how J would always wear her hair up in a ponytail, that she hated wearing it down long. If I was making this up, would it feel so real to me? If I was imagining this, would I know so much? If I was crazy, wouldn't it be different somehow? I worry that I'm crazy sometimes. I worry that I have made up this fantastical world. I know I can't share this with anyone. Sometimes I wonder if I was reborn on Earth, were the other soldiers? Where are they now? Do they remember too?

Entry Two

Only seven of us had handmaidens. I remember that Saturn and Jupiter had a lot. Each handmaiden was a representative of their moon. Deimos and Phobos, for example, were not your traditional handmaiden. They weren't around to help me do up my dresses or assist me with my princess duties. They would not spend hours brushing my long black hair until it shined. They were around to help me train. I never asked who trained Merc or V. I never asked U how she trained with so many handmaidens. I don't think I really understood their role in our lives. Maybe each handmaiden was different. V once told me it didn't matter. They weren't soldiers like us. They hadn't been touched by their god. Sure, she said with a shrug and smirk, they helped us and were our friends but they weren't like us. To V, the moons were inferior to us. Why should we acknowledge something that orbited around us? We were their sun and they were ours to be ordered around.

Maybe this is why V had the hardest time accepting that the Earth's lone moon, the first moon in our solar system was to be the guardhouse of the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou or, as we called it, the Illusionary Silver Crystal. Sailor Galaxias came with it one day and said it was a gift. She told us it was extremely powerful and that we must protect it. She told us that one day it could save our lives. V that the Illusionary Crystal should be taken to Saturn. S was one of the stronger soldiers. If she couldn't protect it, who could? J agreed. Merc and E didn't. They wanted to obey our leader. We were the Inner Soldiers and were a team. The Outers had their duty to guard the solar system against outside attacks. They didn't want to be distracted by the crystal. It was up to us to decide what to do. E promised to be the sole guardian of the crystal. V and the rest of us could continue to do what we wanted but she would remain on her moon and watch over it.

Remembering all that happened, I wonder what would have happened if we listened to V? What if we sent that Crystal to Saturn? We knew nothing about the Illusionary Crystal and had no idea what it meant to us. Would not having it avoiding the coming events? Or were we on that destination from our births? I don't remember our last few nights. I remember the events leading up to it. I remember preparing for the ball. I remember the argument with the Outer Soldiers but what happened after, I can't remember.

We could never disobey Sailor Galaxias. We believed her. We believed she would never do us wrong but I think it was her who changed our fate. They say there could be thousands of solar systems in our galaxy. There are billions of stars. So why did she bring the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou to our solar system? Why did she place in V's hands and told her that we must protect it? We didn't know where it came from. We didn't know the power it held. We didn't know what it could do. V just wrapped her gloved hands around in and bowed to Sailor Galaxias. Of course we would protect it.

"Take it to Luna," Sailor Galaxias said in her soft voice, "Selene, the handmaiden of the Earth, is expecting you and the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou."

"Selene knows about it already?" Jupiter's voice interrupted. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. Sailor Galaxias nodded, not noticing the tension building in the air. Why did the single handmaiden of Earth know about it before we did? Why was Selene ready for it while we had no idea? Shouldn't we have been informed first? E looked unhappy as well. Selene was her handmaiden. Why hadn't she mentioned anything to her? Why else was going on behind our backs without us knowing?

Sailor Galaxias smiled at J, "It's okay." That's all she said. It was as if she believed those two words would sooth all our questions and concerns regarding this lack of protocol. V smiled at Sailor Galaxias, her hands still covering the Crystal.

"We will take it right away," Venus looked at us. Her smile was tight and there was something off about her eyes. Despite her pleasant tone, I knew she was just has hurt and as confused as the rest of us. Sailor Galaxias clapped her hands.

"Excellent! I have other business to take care but I will return soon," she stopped and hugged each of us, "Take care of the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou. It is probably the most powerful Crystal in the universe. We must not let anyone else get their hands on it. I trust you."

Oh! Weird! I have never remembered a memory so clearly before. I could see it so clearly. Sailor Venus in her soldier uniform, her long blonde hair tied partially back with a red ribbon. After Sailor Galaxias left, V looked at the Crystal. It was small, like a golf ball, and looked like a diamond. We couldn't see or sense anything special about it.

"I don't like that Selene knows about this before we do," V said, still inspecting the jewel. Merc, who is normally quiet, nodded.

"I agree. If it was so important, why weren't we told about it first?" Mercury looked at E. E shrugged.

"I don't know. I don't like it just as much as you don't. Probably more. What else is my handmaiden hiding from me?"

"What," I said, thinking of my own handmaidens, "else are our handmaidens hiding from us?" That question silenced us all. It felt like we couldn't trust those who we trusted most, well, those who were outside the eight anyway. If we couldn't trust our handmaidens, who was left outside of us? That scared me.

I've been friends with Deimos and Phobos for as long as I can remember. They are a year older than me and we used to hang out as children. It wasn't until we were teenagers when our destiny took front and centre in our lives. I didn't have a lot of friends. None of us soldiers did. Many people were intimidated by us and avoided us. Deimos and Phobos knew me. They saw past my destiny and my role and saw who I was. Sometimes I thought they saw me in ways that the other soldiers couldn't. If they were lying to me, I didn't know what I'd do. I had to be able to trust them.

Entry Three

I need to be more careful when I'm writing. I'm finally able to admit that these memories are more than dreams. I know I'm not making these memories up. Like yesterday when I was writing about the crystal, I could hear that conversation in my head. I could hear Jupiter's sharp tone. I could hear that doubt in Mercury's voice. I could hear the betrayal in Earth's. I don't have an imagination that strong. I couldn't imagine this if I tried. So that leads that I am delusional. My brain is making this all up. My brain could be playing tricks on me. My body could be betraying me. There was no betrayal of the handmaidens. There is only betrayal of my mind.

My mother walked in when I was writing about Demios and Phobos. I put my notebook down. She immediately grabs it.

"Oh! Is this your homework? Let me see… oh, Kana, what is this? What are you wasting your time on? Is this a story you are working on? Kana, you need to focus on your schoolwork more. Your grades are dropping. You used to have such great marks…" At this point I stopped listening. I told her it was just a story. She shook her head. I have straight A's in school. I can't possibly study more. I suppose I could but I need more in my life than just school.

My mom here reminds me of my mom then. She thought I should be training harder. She thought I wasn't taking my role seriously enough. She thought I should always be in my soldier outfit, reminding people that I am dedicated to my duty. I didn't mind being transformed but the soldier outfit is what did me in. Red high heels, a short red skirt, bows in the front and the back. I often wondered who designed the outfit. It was ridiculous. J hated it too. She would have preferred pants at least. We didn't complain about the outfit to anyone outside of the group, however. We were proud of what the skirt represented. We looked like weak innocent girls but we were powerful soldiers.

I was a proud soldier then. I didn't always agree with the things that we had to do but I knew it was for the best. We were strong. I am a proud student now. I study and get good grades. I am smart.

Why can't my mother see that?

Entry Four

I need to be more careful with this journal. I lost it for a couple of days. I searched everywhere then found it this morning on my desk. I know I looked there a million times. I have no idea where it went and it bothers me that I lost it so easily. How could I lose this journal so easily, especially when I'm admitting stuff in here when I haven't admitted to anyone? How could I misplace it? I just need to keep it closer to me.

It's weird. Since I started writing in here, more and more memories are coming to me. It's like a floodgate opened and everything I was trying to hold back is now escaping at high speed. I can remember how some of my dresses made my skin itch and how I uncomfortable I felt at parties. I would be dressed up like a doll. My long dark hair would be brushed to perfection. My tiara would sparkle on top of my head. I would wear the royal jewels. My heels would click on the floor. Men would talk to me, hoping that I would choose them to be my husband. My mother would parade me around like I was a prize, everyone forgetting that I had a higher role to play. As a princess, marriage is encouraged. We should be taken care of but as a soldier, marriage was discouraged. We couldn't get involved with a family when we needed to be training. Besides, what would happen if I became pregnant? I couldn't fight while caring for a child? What if I was forced to change between my child and my world? As a soldier, I couldn't be put in that position but my mother wanted to overlook that. Her sister was Sailor Mars and she took her responsibility very seriously. She died when I was really little. I don't remember much about her except one time when I snuck into her room. I must not have been much older than three because this is one of my earliest memories. I was poking through one of her bottom drawers, looking for something of interest when a beautiful jewelled heart caught my eye. It was a large heart, probably the size of an adult's fist, covered in glowing red rubies. I picked it up and felt a warmness wash over me. I felt covered by this warmness in way I hadn't felt since I had been gifted with the power of a soldier. My aunt ran in and grabbed the heart from me, saying it was very powerful and dangerous. She told me it was the last tool of a soldier. She told me when all else fails and there is nothing left, a soldier will use their heart locker and become an eternal soldier. My aunt told me there was a high cost for evoking that power but she didn't know what it was. She returned the heart to her drawer and told me she hoped that I would never find out.

When I became Sailor Mars and transformed into the Martian warrior for the first time, I was given that locket. Each of us was given a locket, the colour matching the primary colour in our uniform. I remember Jupiter stared at her emerald encrusted locket for a long time after she received it. I remember wondering what she was thinking but she put the locket away and turned from me before I could ask.

I don't remember when I was told I was going to be a soldier; I just always knew. One of my other earliest memories is seeing my aunt as Sailor Mars. I remember being in awe of her. Her long auburn hair was being tossed in the air slightly as she struck a heroic pose. It was some special celebration and she was asked to give a demonstration of her power. She called the flames of Mars to her hands and I remember staring at her, thinking she must be a goddess. I was breathlessly in awe of her. Mom squeezed my shoulder and picked me up. I wanted to be just like her. I knew she was what a soldier should inspire to be and I wanted to make her proud. I wish I could remember my aunt more. I wish she had been around to share her trials and tribulations as a young girl becoming a soldier. Sometimes it felt so lonely. Sure, I had eight other girls with me who were just like me but they weren't.

Four of them I only saw on special occasions. P was destined to guard the Gates of Time and I think I only saw her a handful of times. S, N and U were a tight knit group. I don't think they liked to associate with us. Trips to their planets always took a long time and they dealt with different things than we, as Inner Soldiers, did. Neptune was an icy turbulent planet. It was the last giant before the edge of our system and it would be attacked first. Sure, Pluto was after it but it was so small it was often missed by invaders. Neptune was always on guard that something was going to attack. She hated leaving the outer planets. Saturn didn't much like leaving either. She was the last defence before we would be called and I think she thought that if we were called then they failed as soldiers. Either way, the Outer Soldiers had their own pride about them that, as an Inner Soldier, I didn't really fit in.

The Inners and I were for all intents and purposes best friends but there was still something missing. We would occasionally train together. We fought next to each other but we were very different. Mercury said one day when we were doing a month of intense training that she thought it was weird that the soldiers would be so different. She said we were different species and in the end it would put us at odds. What if we couldn't save Mars but saved Earth? Would I resent E? Honestly, probably, yes. We were still too connected to our planets. We were the powers of our planets. Mercury said we could never be the perfect soldiers and in the end that would be our downfall. In the end, we would die as soldiers. When she had said that V had left the room, furious. She didn't talk to Mercury for the rest of our time together. I remember J had rolled her eyes at V's attitude. We all knew V's past but J seemed impatient with it. She didn't want any weakness in our team and she saw V's reaction to what J also thought was our inevitable conclusion as weak.

V and J seemed to be on opposite ends of the spectrum. Venus was the Soldier of Love and Jupiter was the Soldier of Protection and while I wasn't the only one that thought love and protection went together, they disagreed. To J, protection might strength and, at times, sacrificing some for the greater good. V believed love was love and didn't allow for scarifies. She was also the only soldier that believed we needed to get married. She said without a companion we would become cold and callus. She said it would make us weak. She agreed with my mother and would try to hook us up with guys. V believed we needed love to live. J didn't. Merc never gave her position on the matter but she never acted like she was interested in marriage. E agreed with V. I think a part of me wanted to agree with V but I couldn't. To be distracted as a soldier could be fatal and that was a risk I wasn't willing to take. I didn't want to get married. I did not want to fall in love. I wanted to be the best soldier ever.

Entry Five

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. That was a nightmare. I am covered in sweat. I'm shaking. My breath is ragged. I should calm down. I need to calm down. I need to write it down before I forget it.

We were on Luna. Sailor Earth stood in front of us. Her arms were crossed in front of us. She looked mad. Her chestnut brown hair blew in her face. She looked like a fierce warrior.

"I won't!" Sailor Earth cried, "I won't!"

"You have to!" Sailor Jupiter yelled, taking a step closer to E. Earth didn't flinch at the soldier's advance.

"I won't," Sailor Earth said, "Sailor Galaxias gave this satellite the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou to protect it and that's what we are doing."

"Not giving them the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou will cause the death of everyone!" Jupiter argued, "That crystal must be destroyed!"

"No!"

"Neptune and Uranus are dead!" Mercury suddenly cried out, tears in her eyes, "Saturn is barely holding on and when she goes, we are next! That crystal isn't worth all those lives! It isn't worth a single soldier's life!" Sailor Earth's hard look faltered as we all thought of our fallen comrades. We never thought that Neptune and Uranus would die but as the enemy sent us their transformation wands as proof, we all knew it was true. Those strong warriors had died.

"Destroying this crystal would mean they would have died for nothing," she said, "Sailor Galaxias told us to protect it. We must. We must."

"I'm not going to give up my life for her," Jupiter snapped, "We asked for her help and she ignored us. She knows that Neptune and Uranus are dead and she doesn't care. I'm not going to die for her! Now give us the crystal!"

"No," Sailor Earth looked at me and I looked away. My hurt and my grief were still too strong. Two soldiers were dead.

"Then you are leaving us no choice," Sailor Jupiter's voice sounded distant. She looked as us and we all nodded, giving our consent. We would fight our sister to save lives. The Maboroshi no Ginzuishou had to be destroyed.

"Supreme Thunder!" Electricity crackled around Jupiter as she shot her lightening bolts at Sailor Earth. Sailor Earth turned behind her and Selene was there, holding the crystal in a strange looking locket. The next few seconds seemed to take forever to pass.

"Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!" Sailor Mercury cried, adding her attack to Jupiter's. Selene snapped the locket closed.

Run. I didn't see Sailor Earth say but I could hear her. Selene's eyes widen and she turned and ran.

"Venus Love Me Chain!" Sailor Venus added her attack. I took off running after Selene. I heard the attack hit Sailor Earth and I heard her scream. My heart pained as I ran. We may have just killed another soldier. Desperate times. I wanted to stop to see if Sailor Earth was okay but I had to chase after Selene. I had to get the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou. Neptune, Uranus and maybe Earth would not die in vain.

That's when I woke up. I don't remember ever really trusting Selene. I remember that she had the weirdest hairstyle. Her long blonde hair was tied up in buns on the top of her head and two streams of hair flowed from the buns and pooled around her feet. She had a crescent moon marking on her forehead. She was the only handmaiden with such a marking. Maybe that meant she was special out of all the moons but the soldiers and I never thought so. She was just a handmaiden and now she was a handmaiden who caused the deaths of the Sailor Soldiers.

Try as I might I can't remember anything past that dream. I know the dream is a memory because it feels so real but anything after I don't remember. Maybe it was just a dream. Maybe all these memories are just dreams. Maybe everything is just a dream.

Entry Six

Sailor Soldiers are real! I saw them! I know I should be shaking in fright right now but how can I be when I know I'm not crazy? They exist!

I guess I should start at the beginning. I was at school, in the cafeteria, eating lunch on my own like usual. Not that I'm writing that down so I feel pitiful, I know I don't have any friends here. Everyone is so tight knit and they think I'm too intense or weird or something. I'm not upset over that. So, I was eating lunch when this monster appeared in the middle of the lunch room. Everyone jumped to their feet and started screaming. I didn't. I felt frozen. It almost felt like I was familiar with that monster. I was also thinking that if I was really a Sailor Soldier in a past life maybe some of that power stayed with me and I could fight it anyway. I stood up, wondering if I could really summon the ancient powers of Mars or if I was just crazy. The monster had caught some of my classmates and I didn't know what it was doing but knew it was bad. I had to do something.

"Stop!" a group of voices cried out. I slowly turned around, wondering who would be so brave. If everything was going in slow motion before, time had all but stopped now.

"Some people might call me a bookworm but my most lethal weapon is my brain! Beware because I am Sailor Mercury!"

"You're thinking I'm just a pretty blond, in my case what you see is definitely not what you get. Sailor V is for Victory! I'm Sailor Venus!"

"I am Sailor Mars and believe me I'm not clowning around, I will vanquish you!"

"You want trouble pal, you're looking at it! My name is trouble! I'm Sailor Jupiter!" I gasped. It was the Sailor Soldiers. Their uniforms were exactly as I remembered them. Mercury had the knee high blue boots, Jupiter had the green ankle boots and Venus had the stripy orange heels that she loved so much. Yet the Soldiers were different. Where these the Soldiers of now? They had to be. They were the Soldiers of my future, of my present. So then where was Sailor Earth?

"I am Sailor Moon, champion of justice, and on behalf of the moon, I shall punish you!" A five Soldiers appeared. Her long blonde hair was tied up in buns on top of her head and steamed out the sides. Sailor Moon. How was it that a handmaiden became a Sailor Soldier?

I ducked under the table, watching with wide eyes. She was clearly a descendent of Selene. She even had that yellow crescent moon mark on her forehead. I still can't understand it. How was it possible there was a Sailor Moon?

The Soldiers began to fight. I watched Sailor Mars with interest. Was she one of my daughters? Or one of Ares'? She had the long black hair, which seems dominant in my family. She was quick on her feet. She was a strong warrior. I felt proud for some reason.

"Now, Sailor Moon!" Venus cried as the monster was weakened.

"Right!" Sailor Moon agreed. She pulled out a wand and cried out, "Silver Moon Crystal Eternal Power!" With a flash of power, the monster was destroyed. I watched with wide eyes. Sailor Moon had the power to destroy monsters? Sailor Moon was the powerful soldier? How did that happen? We used to be strong enough to destroy enemies with our own power. We didn't need to wait for someone. What had happened to the Sailor Soldiers?

"What was that?" Sailor Venus asked, walking over to where the monster disappeared. Sailor Mercury had a little computer out and seemed to scanning the room.

"From the energy levels it left behind," Mercury said, "It appears to be from the Dark Kingdom."

"What?" Sailor Moon seemed to screech, "We destroyed the Dark Kingdom years ago! There is no way they could be back, right?" She seemed scared.

"I don't know," Mercury said, "But I have recorded the data and I'll look into it."

"Come on, let's go before the students return and see us," Mars suggested. The soldiers nodded yes and ran off. Slowly, I came out from the under the table. A part of me wanted to chase after them and see who they really were. I had so many questions for them, especially about Sailor Moon. Yet I didn't chase after them. I had a bigger question that bothered me. Could I still transform? I was still alive. I was reborn. I still had the memories of being a soldier. Did the god of Mars still bless me with his powers? Could I still become Sailor Mars?

I need to investigate this further.