Disclaimer: This idea came from a book called "Loathe at First Sight" by Ellen Conford and was published in 1983.
Title: Awkward Conversation
Author: MeteorLeopard (SugarFox)
What happens when Tatsuki is trying to get a tan with Inoue at beach and Renji suddenly takes a shine to her? Awkward conversation ensues when Inoue disappears to find ice cream and Ichigo sniggers while his friend flounders!
"Hey, you are dripping water on my toes."
"I am sorry, I was checking you out from over there, and I decided to check you out up close. From over there you look great!"
"Thanks a lot, so up close I look like a hag?"
"Not at all, from up close you look great too… I like your bikini…"
"Then why do you keep staring at my toes?"
"It's that stuff you have on them, what's it called?"
"Nail polish."
"I know that, I meant what colour is it?"
"Fire engine red, I borrowed it from Inoue. What is up with you and my toes?"
"Fire engine red? It sounds hot, I would have thought it was just red…"
"Would you quit talking about my toes? What are you, a pedophile, or something?"
"No! This entire conversation has got off on the wrong foot – Ha! Get it? Foot, toes?"
"Hardy-ha."
"Just a little joke to get rid of the tension. I thought you might appreciate a good joke."
"I do appreciate a good joke."
"Oh, well I just thought it was too early in our relationship to comment on how you look in your swimsuit."
"Our relationship? What relationship?"
"The one we are going to have."
"Oh really, you sound unsure."
"Have you always been this sarcastic? Look, I just wanted– "
"Anyway, toes are personal. Comments about toes are just as personal as comments about how I look in my swimsuit."
"Um ok, do you want me to tell you how good you look in your bikini?"
"Heck no, I don't care how you think I look in my bikini."
"Alright then, um, how do I look in mine?"
"Your bikini?"
"No! My swim shorts!"
"Wet."
"Picture me dry."
"Please, I already had one nightmare this week."
"That was rude."
"Sorry, but you just walk up here, drip on my toes and then start making personal comments on them and expect me to be thrown by your wit and charm–"
"And my good looks."
"– and your modesty, that I would just fall in love with you, well you have another thing coming!"
"I don't actually expect you to fall in love with me in the first five minutes of our relationship."
"See, that is what I mean! We don't have a relationship."
"I am working on it, how am I doing on a scale from one to ten?"
"Minus three. Can you please move? You're blocking my sunlight and I am going to end up with a huge stripe down my back."
"Ok."
"It wasn't an invite to sit, I meant go away."
"But you haven't even had a good look at me yet! All you could see before was my knees, and they aren't exactly my best feature. This way you can get a better look at me."
"Yay."
"Come on, I am really a good catch."
"You are really vain and big headed."
"Just repeating what other people have said to me. Someone said I look like Chad Michael Murray."
"Sorry, I don't see it."
"I just said some people thought so."
"Yeah, and some people think that the earth is flat."
"I get the impression you are not impressed by my wit and charm."
"How observant of you."
"That is the first nice thing you have said to me."
"I was being sarcastic."
"Yeah, I am flailing. I thought if the wit and charm didn't work at least I had the 'good looks' fallback option."
"You can fall back on your head for all I care."
"This really isn't going as I planned… Let's start again, hello, my name is Renji. What is yours?"
"Hephzibah."
"… Hephzibah?... I see, and your friends call you?"
"Hephzibah."
"Look I don't want to insult you, just in case your name really is Hephzibah, but I get the feeling you are joking with me."
"Flurge."
"What?"
"My second name is Flurge."
"Your name is Hephzibah Flurge?"
"Yup."
"Seriously, look me in the eyes, and tell me your name is Hephzibah Flurge without completely cracking yourself laughing."
"My name is Hep– Hep– …"
"See! I knew it! You can't even keep a straight face… You have really beautiful eyes, what colour are they?"
"Brown."
"But they have flecks of something in them."
"Probably sand."
"Don't go all sarcastic on me now. We were doing so well a second ago."
"I didn't notice."
"Sure, you were laughing and everything. So what is your name really?"
"Tatsuki."
"That is a little bit more believable, I'm Renji."
"Yes, you told me."
"Yeah, but I was running out of things to say since I used my best stuff already."
"If that is your best stuff then you are in trouble."
"Then help me out! I'm floundering here! What kind of person are you, not even trying to keep up your side of the conversation?"
"I didn't start this stupid conversation! I don't see why it is up to me to keep it going."
"Imagine if everyone avoided communication, what kind of a world we be in?"
"Quiet."
"Boring."
"Peaceful."
"But there would be wars all the time if nobody communicated!"
"There are wars all the time."
"… Um yeah, good point. Would you like me to rub some sun block on your shoulders?"
"No."
"Would you like to rub some on mine?"
"No."
"Look Tatsuki, I am getting desperate here, cut me some slack. Where did I go wrong? Was it the wit and charm?"
"Yes. Don't get me wrong, I like it just as much as any other girl but it was too much."
"It was the toes comments wasn't it?"
"Yes."
"It was just an ice breaker, you know, get the conversation going…Not that I don't think your toes aren't really cute but–"
"Renji!"
"Ok! I get it, from this moment on you no longer have any toes… So what should I have said?"
"What is wrong with hello?"
"Just hello? What about after that?"
"Who knows, you won't know if you don't try."
"Ok, I don't think it will work but anyway… Hello Tatsuki."
"Hello Renji. How is the water?"
"Um, it is a bit cold but it warms up after awhile."
"Funny how a lot of things are like that, Renji?"
"I see what you mean."
"I thought you might…"
A/N: Awwwwww! Cute aren't they? Hehe Tatsuki really gave him a hard time! Hope you liked it!
Review Please!