Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Unfortunate, but true.

March 25, 2023

Dear Diary,

I don't know why I thought he'd treat many any differently than the others, but a girl can dream right? When they say love hurts they aren't kidding; and having the audacity to believe I was an exception to that rule was pretty stupid. Confused? Understandable; let me clear it up for you.

I wasn't a complete idiot. I knew his game, but I was playing a game too; or at least I thought I was. Scorpius Malfoy needed to be taught a lesson and who better than the bold, brazen Lily Potter, to teach it. It was too easy to catch his eye. A few hair flips here, a mistaken brush of his fingers there; in no time he was asking me to Hogsmead on the weekends.

It was too easy to say no; at first. But in my defense, "at first" lasted for about two months, so it wasn't a complete fail. It wasn't a fail at all actually. He was going mad with the rejection, and that was what I had wanted him to feel. Hurt, confused, disposable- just like he had done to all his former "acquaintances".

He had tried everything in his book to get me to say yes. At first he tried the whole nice boy act, and then when that didn't work he went for the bad boy act. After the fifth no I received lilies, which I told him I hated. Backwards, right? Lily hates Lilies. I much prefer roses, and Rose fancies lilies. Anyway, I was all for finishing this once and for all when he said something I never thought he could.

"I love you."

Three simple words had my mind doing somersaults. And I had three words for him too.

"No you don't."

Spoiler alert: He didn't. I knew he didn't. But the way his face fell, and his shoulders slumped in defeat at my words was enough to break the cruelest witch. He may not love me, but he felt something. I had the upper hand that I wanted, but it didn't feel good. It felt wrong, and I didn't understand how he could do that to girls day in and day out. Then I did something that I know I shouldn't have. I told him he had one date to prove to me that he wasn't a heartless, egotistical, slimy son of a ferret. His face lit up instantly as he told me I wouldn't be disappointed. I wasn't. He didn't just take me to Madam Puddifoot's like Lysander Scamander or any other guy would have. We went to a little creek near the forbidden forest and it was serene, and calm, and so not Scorpius Malfoy.

He let me in that day. He told me about his childhood and how he was never really loved. His grandmother was cold, his father busy, and his mother distant, so his house elves were the only form of consistency he ever knew. He told me about his fears, hopes and dreams and I told him mine. It was all very Romeo and Juliet. Then we kissed, and that was it. I was all in. But it wasn't just a kiss, it felt like we were connecting, spiritually, if that makes any sense to you. I think I knew then that I loved him, but I wasn't going to say it. I still had somewhat of a guard up at this point. Of course we had to stay quiet about it, but I didn't want to deal with the schools reaction anyway.

It was fun in the beginning. Stolen glances in the Great Hall, sneaking around the library, ducking my brothers and cousins, and meeting at odd hours of night. It seemed real. Dating the son of your father's ex-enemy was the perfect setting for a beautiful disaster, or a Kate Hudson movie.

I thought about him constantly, and I even hung out with him and his friends. Granted, his best friends are my brother and cousin, but still. Rose and Al got suspicious of me and why I was hanging around so much, but after evading the questions for a while they dropped it. We had been together for 4 months when I decided I was ready. I, Lily Potter, lost my virginity to Scorpius Malfoy, and it was perfect. Everything about us was perfect until I decided to tell him I loved him. That's where everything really went wrong.

I had finally had enough of being Scorpius' secret fling; I was ready to confess to him and the entire world that I was in love with him. So here I am, walking through the Gryffindor common room with my head held high. Scorpius wasn't with Rose or Al, so I figured he had to be in his room. I marched up the stairs in full "romantic comedy leading lady" mode. I swung open the door only to find Scorpius straddling some slut.

But wait, it wasn't just any slut. It was my slut of a cousin, Dominique Weasley. Just my fucking luck. What did she, Gryffindor's 7th year princess, want with a 6th year or a Malfoy anyway?

"For fuck's sake Lily, close the door." Dom shouted.

"How about I close the door when you learn to close your legs you disgusting little rat." And with that I walked away, leaving the door open just as I had promised. He was a bastard. Pulling me in like that and making me feel like we had something special when he didn't even give two shits about me. They didn't call him 'Scor the Whore' for nothing.

To make matters worse, he acted like nothing had even happened. He started dating Dominique and they were Hogwarts' new "it' couple. Seeing them together made me want to throw up. Knowing that I had wasted something so precious on someone so callous was sickening.

Of course I cornered him the first chance I could and made a complete ass of myself. I asked how he could do that to me and if I'd meant anything at all to him. All he did was give me that stupid smirk and say that weren't really even together in the first place. He made it very clear that I was a mistake. His exact words being, "This thing with you was a mistake." Ha, it was most definitely my mistake. Oh yeah, and of course he had to add, "I don't love you. If it makes you feel better I don't love Dom either." I wonder how much he didn't love it when I punched him square in his fucking jaw. James would have been very proud.

I may have cried a little. Ok, maybe for two days. But that was it. I am never going to shed a tear for Scorpius Malfoy ever again. So take it from me diary; love sucks and you shouldn't waste your time trying to change people. Scorpius Malfoy wanted to teach me a lesson. Lesson learned. If you fight fire with fire, you get burned.

Honestly I feel bad for him. Yes I got burned, but burns can be healed. He has to live with what he's done forever. Only forgiveness heals guilt, and he won't be getting that from me.

Love (pfft),

Lily Luna

What do you think? It's just something that popped into my head.

-Jazz