I was none too thrilled when they decided to cut the duet between Artie and Kurt out from the episode, so this came out of that frustration.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
After Rachel proposes the idea of them doing the song from Hairspray – and being Rachel, she can't just tell them, she has to sing it to them – Mr. Schuester starts talking about dividing up the parts. It's obvious that Rachel and Finn get the first leads. Mercedes sardonically suggested that she should sing the part of Maybelle and Mr. Schuester enthusiastically agreed with her.
"And that just leaves the parts of Penny and Seaweed," he announced over the slight chatter that had started up among some of the kids.
"I call Seaweed!" Artie called out at the exact same time that Kurt said,
"Blaine and I will do it."
A slightly awkward silence followed that was broken by titters from some people. Mr. Schuester glanced between the three boys; Artie looking determined, Kurt looking wary, and Blaine just looking confused.
"I call Penny," Kurt said quietly as Mr. Schuester started talking. Blaine gave him a look and Kurt just shrugged.
"Well, if you both really want this part, we'll just have to choose. I guess we could maybe do a diva-off –"
"Or you could give it to whoever sounds the best on it," Tina suggested.
"Yeah, who sounds more black?" Puck asked. In unison, everyone's heads turned towards Artie. The aforementioned boy just smiled.
"Well Blaine, if you don't mind –"
"No that's fine," Blaine said with a wave of his hand. "Artie can sing the part. I don't mind."
"All right then," Mr. Schuester said, clapping his hands together. "Artie, Kurt. Work on that part together then." Artie turned around and gave Kurt a big grin which the other boy returned with a slight shake of his head.
The two met up in the choir room the next day to practice together. Kurt had already printed off copies of the lyrics for the both of them and was doing some vocal warm ups when Artie got there.
"You ready?" Kurt asked him, abandoning his warm ups.
"Lay it on me," Artie grinned, reaching out for the sheet. "Let's rock this thing."
"Have you heard this song before?" Kurt questioned him. Artie gave him a look.
"Just because I'm not as obviously into musical theatre as you, it doesn't mean I've never seen a musical before."
"Sorry," Kurt said, hiding a smile. "I forgot how much you loved Zac Efron."
"I think you're confusing me with yourself," Artie teased back. The boys shared a laugh before Kurt turned serious.
"All right, if we want to show Mr. Schuester that we're good, then we better get cracking!" The first two lines went by fine, but Kurt stumbled at the next one.
"Do I actually call you Seaweed? Are playing the characters or not?" He frowned down at the paper in his hand.
"Seaweed. Artie. They're both two syllables. It'll work," Artie mused. Kurt considered this before nodding and trying it out.
"And if they try to stop us Artie," he sang. He then made the mistake of looking over at Artie and the two burst out laughing.
"I'll call the NAACP," they sang in unison through their laughter.
"We're probably the two whitest people on the planet and we're singing about that," Kurt gasped between laughs.
"Oh, the irony," Artie chuckled. The two boys managed to get through the rest of their part with relatively straight faces. After running through it a couple more times, they took a water break.
"Are you all right with doing this?" Kurt asked tentatively.
"Doing what?" Artie asked, brow furrowed.
"Singing with me," Kurt continued. "Our part is kind of a romantic one. I know you weren't expecting to sing with another guy when you volunteered."
Artie scoffed at the statement. "Honestly Kurt, I could really care less. I just wanted to finally be able to sing lead in number. We're friends; it's not awkward or anything if that's what you mean. Besides, I'm glad I get to sing with someone who's pretty good."
"Pretty good?" Kurt gasped, pretending to be affronted. "That's all you can say about me?" Artie just gave him a cheeky grin in return. The other boy might not have thought anything of the duet, but Kurt felt relieved now that the issue had been addressed. He had been slightly worried that it would be awkward between them; he couldn't help flashing back to the incident with Finn. However, Artie had proved that he was comfortable enough around Kurt for it to not be anything like that.
"Ready to try again?" Artie asked, breaking into the other boy's thoughts.
"Let's do it," Kurt grinned at him.
They ended up gathering in the choir room before they actually performed the number to run over some last minute aspects. Rachel was practicing her part quite loudly to the annoyance of everyone else in the room, so they were all grateful when Mr. Schuester interrupted her.
"Okay guys, just going to make a change before we do the final number. To cut down on time, we're going to have to cut some of this out. Artie, Kurt – I'm sorry but your part isn't going to be in the number anymore."
"Wait, what?" Kurt protested.
"Mr. Schue, that's not fair," Artie chimed in. "We worked hard on that."
"I understand boys, but in the grand scheme of the song, your part is the most easy to take out. I'll definitely let you both have leads on future songs," Mr. Schuester said. He continued talking but neither boy was really paying attention.
They met up after the number, both still upset that their part had been cut.
"After all that hard work," Kurt groused. "He always does this."
"What do you think the chances of us getting leads are?" Artie replied. "Zero to none."
Kurt sighed. "I'd hate to admit it but you're probably right. When was the last time that he assigned either of us to a lead in a song?"
"He just wasn't prepared to handle the awesome that was us singing together," Artie said decidedly. Just then they heard hurried footsteps behind them. Tina and Mercedes were following them down the hallway.
"Hold it right there you two," Mercedes commanded. "We want to hear this."
"Hear what?" Kurt questioned.
"Your duet!" Tina replied. "We were really looking forward to it. You've gotta let us hear it."
The two boys looked at each other and pretended to deliberate on the subject. Heaving a deep sigh, Artie said,
"I guess we could show you." The girls squealed and started pushing the boys towards the auditorium.
"I just want to hear Artie try to sound black," Mercedes joked as they walked.
"Ha ha ha," was the dry reply.
Reviews are much appreciated as usual.