Iruka cringed as cold fingers trailed down his bare back. He was tied so securely he couldn't make a single move to get away from his enemy and it was nerve-wracking. From the position he was in he couldn't even see the man's face, only his shadow.

"It's going to be beautiful," the guy said dreamily, "he's going to get exactly what he deserves."

Iruka tested his bonds again, but there was no slack at all, the ropes were biting into his arms as it was, any movement just made them dig deeper into his flesh.

"Konoha's demon vessel will finally know how I suffered when he took Chouzo from me." A hand roughly grabbed Iruka's chin and turned his head until the muscles of his neck screamed in protest. "He loves you so very much," the man said, whispering near his ear, crouched over him. "Always talking about his precious Iruka-sensei, and how brave and kind you are. Now he'll see you turned into a mindless animal…and then…he can watch you die."

The painful grip on Iruka's chin was released, but only seconds later the man grabbed his ponytail. Iruka screamed through the gag as he was dragged a couple of feet by his hair. He panted harshly when he was dropped again, hurting in so many places it seemed like his entire body was one big wound.

He didn't even realize he'd closed his eyes until a panicked whining sound made him open them again. The sound chilled him to the bone, but he was facing the wrong direction and he didn't have the strength to try and turn anymore. It had to be some kind of wounded animal, a dog or a wolf maybe, no human being made those kinds of noises. Poor thing.

"Almost there. Come here! Now! You little shit…"

The whining reached a new level and Iruka wished he could close his ears as well as his eyes. He felt like a coward but this awful, panicked whining was not what he wanted to be hearing when he died.

"There…"

A hand grabbed his shoulder and rolled him onto his back, his own bound hands digging painfully into his back. He looked up at the man standing over him and watched with morbid fascination as he went through a complicated combination of hand seals, so fast that Iruka could hardly distinguish between them.

Iruka felt the hand on his chest at the same moment he realized that the hand seals had stopped and that the man was smiling at him peacefully.

A wave of energy hit him, overwhelming him. Somewhere far away he thought he heard a voice, calling his name, asking what the hell was going on. A weight slumped forward onto his chest and something warm and wet started to seep through his shirt. He tried desperately to focus, knowing his life was in the balance, but he just couldn't. It felt like someone was trying to pull out his brain through his eyes. The pressure increased until he thought his skull would explode from it.

And then all of a sudden it was gone, and he was free somehow, and all he could think of was getting away. Run his brain screamed at him. Run, run, run!

Never in his life had Iruka felt such a powerful mixture of confusion and panic. He felt overstretched and squashed and crowded at the same time. His limbs were acting weird, moving seemingly of their own accord, stumbling whenever he tried to control them. His mind was overflowed with the panicked urge to run as fast and as far as he could to get away from- From what? What had he been doing before?

An image of a man popped into his mind. An enemy. He'd been attacked, and there'd been pain, so much pain…

And now he was running. It was the strangest feeling to be running while not actively controlling the motion, like riding inside of a horse instead of on top of one.

Slowly the panic is his body lessened as he got used to the feeling. As the adrenalin rush seeped away he noticed something strange in his view, something was sticking from his face, it was hard to focus on and blurry, but if he concentrated he could see little hairs and a small smooth surface at the very tip of the protrusion. There was something wrong with the colours too, like he was missing some. Even though the sky was still blue, the leaves were different…

And how could he be running this close to the ground?

His body finally slowed down and then stopped, panting loudly and sending little puffs of steam up into the frigid winter air.

Iruka tried to relax and make sense of his situation. The body he was in wasn't really his; that much he was sure of, and he had the distinct feeling of not being alone inside of it.

He concentrated on looking down at himself. Relief swept through him when after a slight hesitation the head bent down, as if reluctantly taking a suggestion. At least he had some control.

He saw two dirty brownish paws with long matted fur. A dog then… The left paw was missing a nail and as soon as he noticed it, the ache that had been there in the background all along assaulted him along with a host of other sensations that had been suppressed when the dogs fight or flight instinct was ruling his thoughts. There was hunger and pain, but at the forefront was the itching, the terrible, terrible itching. His body moved on its own again and he bent down to gnaw on one of the itching spots, he bit at it trying to get the little fleas that he could feel crawling over his flesh, just waiting to attack him again. When he tasted blood, Iruka concentrated on stopping the gnawing. It wouldn't help any except to injure his host further.

The gnawing stopped and the dog sat forlornly, ears twitching at every sound. 'Walk' Iruka urged it mentally. It took a few moments but finally the dog stood up and hesitantly took a few steps, before moving into a fast trot at the feel of Iruka's approval. He thanked the gods that the dogs mind was sensitive to suggestion. To some extent Iruka could even guide their speed and direction after he got the hang of it.

They'd been moving for a while when Iruka realized they didn't really have a goal. They were still just moving away from…from where he'd been attacked. They stopped abruptly when Iruka realized he was doing the exact opposite of what he should be doing. If his spirit was bound to this dog, then his own body should still be…somewhat intact. They had to go back! Go back and guard it and somehow let someone know what had happened to him.

With a thought Iruka sent the dog back in the direction they'd been coming from, he didn't recognise where he was at all though, and he also didn't have a clue how long he'd been running before… He could only hope that when he reached the place where he'd been attacked his body would still be there.

He was trotting through a clearing in the forest when suddenly his body crouched low and the hairs on his back tried to rise from the matted mess they were in. Only now Iruka became aware of the scent and sounds that the dog's mind had already picked up on. Other dogs were approaching. Fast.

Two seconds after the realization Iruka was surrounded. Fierce looking nin-dogs ranging in size from small to extremely big looked down on him. A distressed whine left Iruka's mouth before he could stop it.

"What do we have here?" A familiar voice spoke.

The dogs backed off a little and Hatake Kakashi crouched in front of him, studying him. This was great, Iruka thought. A ninja of Kakashi's calibre would instantly recognise something was wrong.

"Street mutt, what are you doing outside of the gates? Shouldn't you be roving the market?"

The copy ninja pulled up his hitai-ate and studied him with the sharingan. Iruka waited nervously for the man to recognise the strange jutsu that had affected him this way.

The jounin stood up. "Come along guys, nothing out of the ordinary here."

What? He watched in horror as the jounin and the dogs turned to leave. Didn't the man realize Iruka needed help? No! You can't just leave me here, come back!

He opened his mouth and screamed. 'Stop!'

Tried to at least. What came out was a hoarse bark that hurt his throat.

There was a slight hesitation in Kakashi's step and Iruka ignored the dog's fear of the man and the nin-dogs and forced it to follow after Kakashi, continuing his pleas for the man to stop.

Finally the jounin's shoulders slumped and he turned back towards Iruka. "You know, I really don't have time to look after a dog."

Iruka stared at the jounin, desperately willing him to realize there was more understanding in his eyes than in those of any normal dog.

"-especially one as smelly as you"

Kakashi stuck his hand down a pocket and pulled something out. He threw it onto the ground near Iruka's paws. Iruka tried to ignore it in favour of making Kakashi understand that he was not a normal dog. But the normal dog that shared this body with him was overwhelmed by the smell of food. There was no stopping the instinct that told him to eat, eat while there was food available, quickly, before another dog grabbed it, or a human kicked him away.

Iruka wolfed down the sandwich with such speed he nearly chocked on it.

He looked back up at the jounin, slightly ashamed of his avarice, but at the same time hoping for more food.

Kakashi sighed. "You can come with me, for now. Maybe I can find you a home somewhere."

Iruka hesitated, he should find his way back to his body, but on the other hand, if he had more time with Kakashi, surely he could make the man understand he wasn't an ordinary dog.

Kakashi turned again, made a few hand seals and suddenly the nin-dogs disappeared. The jounin started out towards the village at a leisurely pace and Iruka followed. This time the dog's mind and his seemed to agree. For the dog Kakashi was a source of food, for Iruka a chance of rescue.

Iruka hesitantly stepped into Kakashi's apartment. The dog's fear of humans was coming back in this enclosed space and the feeling was affecting Iruka.

Once he was inside Kakashi closed the door and eyed him critically. "Don't wreck anything," the jounin said, before suddenly disappearing, leaving only a small cloud of smoke to mark his exit.

Iruka walked through the apartment, looking around and, because he simply couldn't resist the urge, sniffing everything. The apartment had the lingering pleasant smell of ramen and old scrolls. Somehow the combination wasn't at all displeasing.

He jumped up against the kitchen counters to see if there was anything edible up there. He'd always been a practical man and although this situation was the strangest and most worrying thing to ever happen to him, that didn't mean he should ignore his less important complaints, like the hunger that still gnawed at him viciously.

It wasn't long before the jounin came back. The man was holding a paper bag and it had something inside of it that made Iruka drool at the smell.

He watched avidly as Kakashi's hand disappeared into the bag and pulled out a package. He opened it and unceremoniously deposited the contents unto the kitchen floor. "Here you go."

Meat!

Iruka might like a nice piece of rare steak every once in a while but never before had the scent of raw and bloody meat held such an irresistible attraction for him.

He didn't even try to stop his body as it dove for the delicious red morsels of flesh. When every last drop of blood was licked from the kitchen tiles Iruka looked up. He hadn't even noticed that Kakashi had left the room.

Iruka's stomach felt stretched to its limits. He guessed he- , the dog, hadn't eaten this much in a long time. Sudden lethargy swept over him and he yawned. Maybe he should take a little nap first before trying to talk to Kakashi, recover his strength a little…. He sat down and let his front paws slide forward until he was lying on his belly. His head came to rest on the ground between his forelegs; it still smelt faintly of meat.

Iruka was content, or the dog that was sharing this body was content, Iruka couldn't really tell anymore. Even the itching wasn't bothering him as much as before.

His eyes lazily tracked Kakashi as he came back into the kitchen. The jounin was carrying a very sharp looking kunai.

"Sorry I had to do it this way boy," the jounin said. He crouched down near Iruka and brought the kunai towards Iruka's neck.

The dog's fear came back with a rush, but his body wouldn't move anymore and Iruka finally made the connection. The meat was drugged.

He felt the sharp kunai slide into the fur at his neck, and desperately willed his body to move. His left hand- paw- moved a fraction of an inch, but that was all he could manage.

The kunai cut parallel to his skin and then, to Iruka's surprise, went up again. Kakashi's hand appeared in his field of vision and dropped a ball of dirty brown matted hair in front of him. A lonely flea pounced away from it and back towards Iruka.

Behind him the jounin muttered, "You're going to look ridiculous for a while, but it's the only way."

With quick but careful cuts Kakashi removed large chunks of Iruka's matted fur, until the pile in front of him was big enough to resemble another dog.

A few times Kakashi carefully changed Iruka's position so he would be able to reach everywhere. When the man was finally finished, Iruka felt like he was bald.

Kakashi gathered the hairs together, threw them in the sink and with a small fire jutsu incinerated the lot of them, creating a foul stench that irritated Iruka's sensitive nose and made him sneeze.

Kakashi wasn't done yet though, because next he took out a very fine-toothed comb. This treatment was a lot less pleasant. The comb caught harshly on the remaining snags in his hair and opened small scabs from where fleas had bitten him repeatedly. But if he looked to the side he could see his little tormenters struggle in the bowl of water that the jounin used to drown them in, and with every stroke he could feel less and less of the tiny monsters crawling on his skin.

It felt like hours went by before the jounin was finally satisfied. Hours spent by both Iruka's mind and the dog's mind in a blissful state non-itchiness. When Kakashi moved to stand up, Iruka was surprised to notice that he too could move. The sedative wasn't working anymore.

"Come here" Kakashi said.

Iruka followed him willingly. There was no resistance from the dog's mind this time, not even when Kakashi gently lifted him into the tub. The lukewarm water felt soothing on his skin.

"Took underneath the underneath a bit too literal, didn't you? Not brown after all." The jounin sounded amused.

Iruka twisted his body and looked at his flank. Kakashi was right, instead of a dirty brown he was now a more beige colour.

Kakashi lifted Iruka out of the tub and pushed him into the hallway while he himself cleaned up the bathroom. By the time the jounin was finished Iruka had curled up on the living room rug. Kakashi thoughtfully put down a bowl of water near him and then, for the first time, reached out and petted him.

Before Iruka could stop himself his tongue lapped at Kakashi's hand.

Kakashi chuckled and retreated to the couch, pulling out his Icha Icha.

Soon, Iruka decided. Soon he would show Kakashi that he was more than a regular dog. But now…he just needed a little sleep. Just a short nap, just…

Iruka woke feeling cold and sore, but at the same time he knew he felt better than he had in a very long time.

Something had happened yesterday, something bad. It was the reason for his soreness. Why wouldn't it come to him?

He sat up and licked at the toe that was missing a nail.

"Good morning Mutt."

Startled, Iruka looked up. Kakashi-san was standing in the doorway.

The jounin was holding a bowl and the scent of whatever was in it wafted over to Iruka's sensitive nose. It smelled good.

Kakashi sat it down and Iruka was moving before he even realized it.

Meat. He licked his muzzle. Good.

"Stop Mutt"

Iruka lowered his head closer to the bowl.

"Stop!"

This time the command sounded a little harsher and he knew he should obey. Kakashi was the boss. Very reluctantly he sat down, staring mournfully at the bowl of meat, mouth watering.

"Alright. Eat."

Iruka had no trouble at all following that command. While he hurriedly wolfed down the food Kakashi patted him on the head and mumbled "Good boy, Mutt".

The approval felt as good as the meat tasted.

When the food was gone Iruka looked up at the jounin expectantly. What now?

A thought niggled at the back of his mind. This wasn't right. This wasn't normal. Not normal for him, for Iruka.

Iruka. He was Iruka. Iruka-sensei. Someone had turned him into Mutt. He should tell boss- tell Kakashi-san.

He barked at the man to get his attention. All it got him was a slap on his butt and a "Hey, none of that now."

Iruka looked around the apartment, searching for some kind of tool to use to show the jounin that he was more than just another dog. He spotted a pen lying on a table. Maybe he could use it somehow. Write out his name or something, if he held it in his mouth and angled his head the right way…

With some difficulty he managed get the pen off the table and into his mouth. He was trying to gnaw of the cap so he could write with it when Kakashi pried his jaw open and took it from him.

The jounin gave him a considering look.

Yes! See, I'm smarter than a normal dog. I'm abnormal! Iruka barked to encourage the jounin, and his tail started wagging frantically, seemingly of its own accord.

Then the jounin pulled his arm back and sent the pen sailing though the air and into the hallway.

Puzzled, Iruka watched it fly. What the hell was that about? He looked back at the jounin hesitantly.

"Go get it."

Ah, it was a test of his intelligence. Iruka raced down the hallway to retrieve the pen. He brought it back to Kakashi who took it from him with a pat to his head and another 'good boy'.

Good boy? No! Iruka barked in frustration. He wasn't a good boy, even if it felt nice to be called that. He was a ninja. Why didn't the boss realize that?

He hopped up with his front paws, trying to stand up on his hind legs, but he just wasn't built for it. He kept losing his balance and falling back.

"Alright, alright. Pushy mutt."

What was the jounin mumbling about now?

"Come."

The jounin walked towards the door and Iruka automatically followed. Apparently they were going out. That was a good thing. There would be loads of opportunities outside to show the jounin he wasn't a normal dog.

Iruka was completely unprepared for the joy that flooded him when they went outside. There were so many scents. Food and people and, especially, other dogs. Their scent markers teased at his nose…this was his domain and they needed to know it. Before he even realized he was going to, he lifted his leg at a tree and covered one of their scents with his own scent mark.

But there were so many of them, all challenging him, telling him this territory was theirs, but it wasn't. It was his! He was mortified at his own behaviour as he went from tree to tree, but the temptation was just too great.

Kakashi didn't seem to mind particularly. The jounin was patiently reading his porn. Slowly they made their way into the forest until they reached a large clearing. Once there, Kakashi picked up a branch from the ground, held it for him to smell, and then threw it a good distance away.

"Get it."

A part of Iruka thought 'get your own damn stick' but a larger part of him wanted to catch it. It was getting away. He should catch it and bring it back to the boss.

Just this once, he thought as he ran after the branch, maybe just a few times…

The boss was back! He could smell it! The boss had come through here less than an hour ago, with the pack. They were back. The five days that the jounin had been gone on a mission had seemed endless.

He frantically pulled at his leash, dragging the neighbour back in the direction of the apartment building.

"Shit, I'm coming, I'm coming, you crazy mutt." The neighbour sounded displeased, but Mutt wasn't going to slow down now. The boss was home.

He jumped up against Kakashi as soon as the man opened the door, tail wagging frantically.

Behind him the neighbour complained to boss. "I have no idea how he always knows exactly when you get back, but he dragged me halfway across the village to get to you as soon as possible."

Kakashi stroked his hair. "Good boy, Mutt."

The neighbour sighed. "Welcome back shinobi-san."

Kakashi waved at him. "Thank you for your services." And closed the door in the neighbour's face.

Mutt eyed his boss critically. Something was wrong. Boss was reading Icha Icha, slouched on the couch, nothing out of the ordinary, but Mutt could tell…Boss was upset.

With a smooth jump, Mutt landed next to his boss on the couch. He dipped his head underneath the Icha Icha and lifted his head, pushing the book away.

"Down Mutt."

But Mutt wasn't that easily deterred. Pawing at the Icha Icha he forced the jounin to put the book away or risk damage to it. When Kakashi frowned at him, he quickly licked the jounin's nose, glad that the mask was down, and dropped down on the man's lap.

"Stupid dog."

Mutt snorted and waited patiently. Only a few seconds later Kakashi's hand dropped down on his head and started petting. He could feel the tension draining from the boss's body. Job well done.

Mutt didn't usually mind coming to the stone with boss, but it was very early and very cold. He leaned against boss's leg a little harder. One hand dropped down and petted his head.

"Almost", boss muttered.

Mutt closed his eyes. He could wait a little longer.

They were going somewhere, but Mutt hadn't the faintest idea where. It wasn't the way to the market, nor the way to the fields or forest, and it wasn't towards the stone either. He sniffed at buildings and used the change to communicate, leaving his scent mark at strategic places. Finally they arrived at a large building.

Mutt didn't like the scents that were coming from it. It smelled of injuries and disease, mixed with the strong herbal scents of medicine. What he liked even less was the fact that he wasn't allowed to go in with his boss.

Boss told him to sit and wait, so he did, for a while. But it was taking too long and boss shouldn't even be in there at all. It was a bad place.

Quietly, hoping no one would spot him, he snuck inside and followed boss's scent through the hallways. He would just check that the boss was alright and then he'd leave again.

When he turned another corner he could see his boss standing inside of a room, but he was not alone. An older man with a mass of long white hair, and a blonde woman that smelled of alcohol were standing next to him. There was something familiar about them, but Mutt couldn't remember why.

The three of them were standing near a bed, looking down on it. Mutt couldn't see the person in the bed, but he could smell him and for some reason that particular smell made him incredibly uncomfortable. He knew that smell, and associated it with pain.

Curious despite his discomfort he crept a little closer.

"Mutt, bad dog."

He'd forgotten it was impossible to sneak up on his boss.

"Kakashi-san what is that ugly thing of yours doing in my hospital?" the lady said.

"Oh leave it," the white-haired guy said. "It's not like the sensei has any open wounds left. There's little chance of him getting a disease from the dog. And if this works like it should we should be finished here in no time."

The lady snorted. "I hope so, I've done everything I could think of and nothing worked."

"I told you," the man said, "I've seen this before."

With the attention off of him Mutt walked towards the boss and leaned against him. Immediately a hand dropped down to pet his head.

"Alright, let's do this," the white-haired guy said.

Boss's hand pulled away to push up the eye-thing, studying the other man intently. Mutt watched as the man's hands moved through the air so fast that he could only see a blur, and then moved down towards the bed.

At the same moment a blinding pain crushed through his skull. He whined in panic and tried to get away from the pain. He darted out of the room, slipping and sliding on the smooth floors, desperate to get away, and the suddenly the pain was gone.

"Iruka-sensei"

"Iruka-sensei!"

It took a moment for him to understand they were talking to him.

"Are you alright, Iruka-sensei? Everything is going to be okay. Are you in pain?"

As soon as he realized that the strange whining sound that he heard was coming from his own throat he stopped abruptly.

How did he get into a bed? He wasn't supposed to sleep on the bed. The boss would disapprove.

He looked down at himself and for a moment he was puzzled. Where was his fur? He moved his paw and a bare arm lifted up in front of him. He wiggled his fingers. His fingers.

"Iruka-sensei, look at me please."

Iruka. Yes, that was him. He looked up at the lady. Tsunade-sama.

Slowly, like he was waking from a dream, reality came back to him. He was Iruka-sensei. He taught kids at the academy. He'd been on his way back from a mission when he was attacked by someone who wanted revenge on Naruto and his attacker had somehow managed to bind him to a dog's body. And then Kakashi-san had found him.

Kakashi

He looked at the jounin who was still standing near the edge of his bed. Kakashi was paler than usual and for once unable to keep the emotion from his face. Or maybe Iruka could just read him better now. The jounin was horrified.

When Kakashi noticed he was being stared at, his face smoothed out, and became unreadable once again.

Tsunade and Jiraiya put him through a whole battery of tests and questions, until his head was aching and his throat sore from talking s much after more than two months of silence.

Iruka was explaining how it felt to be inside of the dog, when Kakashi turned to leave the room.

Iruka panicked and called out. "Wait!" The boss - Kakashi – couldn't leave him here.

Kakashi stopped and turned, with a cold look and one eyebrow raised.

Iruka knew he should lie back down and shut up, but every bone in his body wanted to follow boss. He was confused and hurting and he just wanted to go home with the man. 'You have a home, a small part of his brain reminded him, you have a life', but an overwhelmingly large part of him wanted home, where it smelled of Kakashi and pack and old paper. He wanted to curl up on his pillow, where it was warm and save and smelt like himself.

Tsunade made a noise and Iruka realized he was just sitting there staring at Kakashi. "What-" his voice cracked and he swallowed thickly. "What about my things?"

The jounin twitched almost imperceptibly and Iruka nearly flinched at the anger he saw in the other man's eyes. He supposed Kakashi owned the stuff he'd bought for him, for Mutt, but his heart didn't agree. It was his pillow, his toys, his home. And he wanted them all with a desperation he'd never felt before, at least not for mere material things.

When Kakashi finally spoke Iruka felt it like a fist squeezing his heart until it almost stopped beating.

"Come now, Iruka-sensei, surely you don't need a chew toy or a doggy bed anymore?" The jounin laughed, but it was a cold and empty laugh. "If I recall correctly, you don't have any pets or summons. Don't worry, though, I'll find some other mutt to give them to."

"Kakashi-san." The interruption was sharp, the tone chiding, not the tone Iruka was used to hearing from Jiraiya-sama. "This thing messes as much with the mind as it does with the body…don't-"

The jounin didn't even look in his former teacher's direction. He just turned and left.

Tsunade fussed over Iruka. After a while, when she had finished her poking and prodding and was satisfied that he was whole and sane, and capable of walking, she let him go.

He slowly walked home, forcing himself to go to his apartment, instead of where he really wanted to go.

Inside it smelled musty, like the air hadn't moved in a long time. His cactus looked the same as ever, but the orchid he'd gotten from his students was dead. He made it through two hours in his apartment before he couldn't take it anymore and walked back into the cold of night.

Iruka walked around lost in thought, not sure where he was going until he got there.

He was on the field where Kakashi went to train his dogs. Tired of walking, he sat down with his back against a tree and stared morosely across the field. He knew, rationally, that the lost, empty, lonely, feeling he had right now, would go away eventually. He hadn't been lonely before…had he? Not this lonely at least.

Something moved at the edge of his vision and he froze. A beige dog trudged across the field carrying a large stick in its mouth. It took Iruka a few seconds to recognise, well, himself.

Mutt stopped in the middle of the field, roughly where Kakashi would usually stand, and dropped the stick. Picked it back up, walked a few steps and dropped it again.

Iruka sighed and rubbed his aching head. Maybe he wasn't the only one feeling miserable. He took a deep breath and called out over the field. "Good boy, well done!"

Mutt approached enthusiastically, but as he came closer he slowed down, tail wagging more and more hesitantly.

About 10 feet away from Iruka, Mutt stopped and sat down, and no matter how much Iruka called for him, he wouldn't come any closer.

They sat there for more than an hour; reluctant to leave each other's company, and then suddenly Mutt's tail started wagging furiously.

"You should pay more attention, Iruka-sensei, the dog noticed me before you did."

Iruka looked at the masked face he'd seen unmasked so many times. It was a rotten feeling to have lost the privilege. It felt even worse when he realised that he'd never earned it to begin with.

He could have done so much more to let Kakashi know he wasn't a normal dog. He could think of hundreds of ways right now just from the top of his head.

Kakashi spoke, and it was as if the jounin had read his mind. "Why didn't you tell me?" The words sounded bitter and Iruka suddenly knew how all this must feel from Kakashi's side of the equation. The broken trust, the deception…

Suddenly he was stumbling over words to explain. "Everything was muddled. I was trying to tell you, in the beginning, but you didn't get it, and you fed me and you petted me and you told me to do stuff and you were so pleased when I did it, and somehow obeying you became more important than anything else… and I just sort of…forgot."

He bit his lip to stop himself from rambling; he wouldn't want the jounin to think even less of him.

Within the blink of an eye Kakashi moved from standing a few feet away to standing right next to him and then Iruka felt the jounin's hand on his head.

He closed his eyes and shuddered as it slowly slid back over his hair. The physical sensation was completely different, but it felt so damn right…

"Change me back." The words slipped from his lips before he could stop them.

For long moments the petting continued and then Kakashi's hand dropped away. "You know I can't do that."

Iruka's eyes stung when he opened them to watch Kakashi walk away.

Without looking back Kakashi called out a quick command, "come", and Iruka watched Mutt wag his tail and follow the jounin without hesitation.

He felt more abandoned than ever.

Until Kakashi stopped without looking back and said calmly, "I meant both of you."

It was a little bit awkward, being inside Kakashi's apartment in this form. It felt bigger and smaller at the same time.

Mutt walked to his pillow immediately; maybe he recognised it, maybe he simply knew it was his from the smell, but he dropped down on it without hesitation.

Iruka hovered in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do with himself, until Kakashi pointed at the couch and told him to sit, while he poured them both some sake.

Kakashi sat down next to him and downed his sake in one go. He watched Irtuka expectantly, so Iruka did the same. As soon as he'd set the cup back on the table Kakashi hooked his hand around Iruka's neck and pulled. Pushing him down until he half laid on his side with his head pillowed on the jounin's thigh. Iruka closed his eyes in bliss as the jounin removed the tie that held his hair in a ponytail and gently stroked his fingers through it.

It can't be like it was," the jounin said.

Iruka kept his eyes closed and dipped his chin in a move that could almost be considered a nod.

Warm, callused fingers stroked down the back of Iruka's neck. "But it can be something new."