Title: Finally Alone (1/1)
Pairing: Otalia
Rating: T (PG-13)
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Set after the preview for Natalia and Olivia's spa weekend. Another latte moment.
Author's Note: Fulfilling donnaxyz's wishes, enjoy! And many thanks to the awesome Erikatica!

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Finally alone. They'd just dropped Emma off for her weekend field trip, and now they were in Olivia's car, heading out for the weekend that they would finally be spending alone. Olivia was so happy that she had been grinning all day, but she was also terribly nervous and afraid. Granted, she had been looking forward to it for days, but now that she was going to be alone with Natalia - finally - she felt her knees go weak and her heart pound loudly in her chest. She knew that this weekend was going to change their relationship forever. She tried to appear calm and serene when she stopped the car and offered a smile to Natalia to hide her nervousness. "So here we are." The spa resort she had chosen didn't look too fancy but apparently everyone had the same idea and the better resorts had already been booked for the weekend.

Natalia, however, didn't seem to care whether the resort was fancy or not. Her eyes were sparkling when she returned Olivia's smile and their eyes locked. "Here we are," her signature dimples showing. "I'm so glad we're doing this. Let's just enjoy this weekend and not think of the Beacon once."

Olivia's ragged nerves calmed a bit at Natalia's reassuring statement. Exiting the car, she let out a sigh of relief. "I'm dying to see the jacuzzi. I just want to spend a few hours in there, and I'll be blissfully happy." With you.

Natalia's lips twitched in amusement, and Olivia was wondering if Natalia was reading her mind. "Sounds like a plan." Those irresistible dimples were again apparent when she turned to face Olivia. "I can't wait for a massage. I haven't had one in ages."

Olivia smiled at that. It did sound like a perfect day. She hoped that they would overcome all the awkwardness of the past weeks and be able to be themselves again. Olivia needed that. She desperately wanted to be herself again around Natalia, without having to think about her every move, breath and step. All her senses were heightened when she was around Natalia. She also desperately needed some alone time with her. Being around Natalia almost always meant being surrounded by other people, though, and that had become difficult. Difficult not to touch her, difficult to keep her eyes at bay, difficult not to let her feelings show too openly. When Natalia wasn't with her, it was increasingly difficult not to think of her. And the more she thought of her, the more she craved her company. Finally alone.

Olivia was so engrossed in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed that Natalia must already have checked them in. She followed Natalia and the white-shirted young man upstairs, when the man stopped at the end of the corridor, pointing at a yellow door with the number 23 painted on it and handed Natalia the key. "Enjoy your stay, ladies," he smiled, and turned to take his leave.

Olivia was dumbfounded for a moment, but quickly awoke from her reverie. "Excuse me! Wait! I've booked two single rooms!"

"We moved mountains just to get you this one room," he answered, unimpressed.

Olivia just looked at him, at a loss what to say. This is going to be awkward. We've never been that close. I hope she doesn't think I planned this. I hope she doesn't feel I'm pushing her. But thank you God, thank you!

"Just the one room?" she heard Natalia say with a note of concern. Olivia turned and looked at her friend, seeing the beginnings of a frown on her lovely face. There were no dimples showing now.

She let out a sigh, addressing Natalia. "Why don't you go inside and get ready for the jacuzzi, and I'll handle this, okay?"

Natalia nodded, and Olivia followed the man to the front desk. "I really appreciate your efforts, but this is not acceptable." She smiled sweetly at him. "The two of us cannot share a room."

"Lady, we're packed this weekend, I'm sorry," he answered. "You seem to be good friends. We have friends share rooms all the time, so don't worry."

Olivia put her hand lightly on his shoulder, smiling sweetly at him again. "I own a hotel, too. I know that when hotels say they are 'completely booked' there are always one or two others available for emergencies or special guests." She winked at him. "I am willing to pay well for it, of course."

"I'll see what I can do," he said defenseless to her charms and thumbed quickly through a slim book on the reception desk, before he looked up again. "Alright. Your room will be ready in ten minutes, Ms. Spencer. Number 31."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it." Olivia took the key and smiled at her victory.

She went back to Natalia's room and knocked before she opened the door. "It's okay, I got myself another room. It will be ready in a few minutes."

When she looked at Natalia, she was rendered speechless. Natalia had taken the single bed near the door, the small traveling bag lying open on the bed covers, and she was already dressed for the jacuzzi. She was wearing a simple black bikini with no adornments, sarong still in her hands, and she looked simply gorgeous. Olivia could barely take her eyes off her. She had not expected Natalia to wear a bikini. A simple black swimsuit maybe, or a tankini, but certainly not that sliding halter top, and not a cute double-string bottom either. Stop staring! She felt herself blushing three different shades of red, mortified and dumbfounded.

"It's all right, we can both take this room. Look, we've got single beds. I thought you might prefer the one near the window," Natalia smiled expectantly at her as she pointed at the bed at the other side of the room, seemingly oblivious of Olivia's mortification.

"I…I'm taking my things to the other room now," Olivia mumbled, busying herself with her suitcase. Dammit. Was that all Natalia was worried about? That they had to sleep together in one bed? Double dammit. Anyway, seeing Natalia in that bikini reminded her why it probably was a good idea to have separate rooms after all. She would certainly not be herself around Natalia like that. As it was, she could not even string together two whole sentences, for God's sake!

"Why are you moving? Look, it's fine. You can stay here." Natalia sounded puzzled as she fastened her sarong.

"Um no…," Olivia was at a loss. She could not possibly explain her feelings to Natalia and looked at her, imploring her to see with her eyes what she wasn't yet ready to explain.

"Olivia, I want you to stay here," Natalia said pleadingly. "This is our weekend together. How are we going to talk and be ourselves again if we're separated half the time?"

"Listen - let's not make a big deal out of it. We'll be spending the whole day together." Olivia tried to calm her friend down, but was getting more and more frustrated. This was not how she had imagined their weekend alone to begin.

"Why did you go through so much trouble to get your own room? I mean, it was okay that you booked separate rooms and I wouldn't have booked only one room in the first place either. What did you have to do - or how much did you have to pay - for that second room of yours?" Natalia stared, with questioning eyes.

"I'm sorry," Olivia offered. Oh, what had she done? She did not want them to fight. She had only wanted to please Natalia, to respect her feelings. And now that had completely backfired. With a quick glance at Natalia standing before her in bikini and sarong, she explained, "Really. I thought you wanted separate rooms." She smiled sheepishly. "Let's not fight. I think it might be a good idea to have separate rooms after all. I'll just take my things and we'll meet up at the jacuzzi in 20 minutes, okay?" I'll just take a cold shower first.

Olivia took her overnight bag and climbed up the stairs to her own room. Surprisingly, her room was a lot prettier, albeit slightly smaller, and with a large double bed. She admired the beautiful view from the window, overlooking the park. This room would have been perfect for the two of them, Olivia thought sadly. Well, maybe not just yet. As much as she craved Natalia's company, longed to touch her whenever they were together, she knew very well that they both needed time. Olivia thought she was more than ready to take the next step, however, she was well aware that Natalia probably wasn't, and that they were both still feeling awkward in each other's company.

She so missed their comfortable companionship. She wanted Natalia to instruct her on how to properly make those super secret sandwiches, to sit on the couch with her for Friday movie night, and she wanted Natalia to tease her about anything and everything. She wanted to take Natalia in her arms and watch her fall asleep for a mid-afternoon nap, stroking her soft dark hair. She felt so loved, so adored when she was with her. She felt that for the first time, someone wanted her for her heart, mind, body and soul, and she wanted so badly to be able to return such affection without the fear of rejection. She had hoped that this weekend was going to change everything, but now she was half afraid it wouldn't.

She quickly checked her cell phone for messages and decided that she didn't want to be disturbed and put it on silent mode. If Emma needed anything, she would just send her a text or call Natalia. Olivia took out three different bathing suits, unsure of which one to wear. She instinctively opted for a red one-piece, suddenly reminded of the dress she wore at Frank and Natalia's wedding, as the garments were so similar in cut and color.

Thinking of that no longer made her feel sad, but rather eternally grateful that she hadn't lost Natalia forever that fateful day. Maybe there was a God, who had answered her silent prayers and desperate pleas. She smiled to herself, suddenly feeling deliriously happy. She still couldn't believe that Natalia loved her and that she was going to spend the weekend alone with her. She quickly put on the red garment, wondering if Natalia would like it. She never had trouble attracting or seducing men, but Natalia was something else altogether. Suddenly she felt more self-conscious in her bathing suit than she had ever felt before. Before she could let those doubts paralyze her completely, she took her towel and left the room.

When Olivia arrived at the jacuzzi, Natalia was already there. They would not be alone. Two elderly women were loudly talking to each other, engrossed in their conversation, opposite Natalia.

"There you are." Natalia smiled fondly at her, gazing. "I was just about to send a out a search party for you. You couldn't decide what to wear, could you?"

"You got me," Olivia returned the smile and climbed in next to her. The warm water bubbles felt heavenly, and she was careful not to touch Natalia's body with hers. She just wasn't sure she could bear it.

"Isn't this just heavenly?" Natalia sighed happily and leaned back, eyes closed and totally relaxed.

Natalia seemed completely happy. A wave of tenderness and gratefulness swept over Olivia as she looked at Natalia. Is there any lovelier sight?

They both leaned back like that for a while, both enjoying the soothing, hot water bubbles on their skin. Olivia felt very aware of Natalia's nearness, yet slowly willed herself to relax and get comfortable being so very near to her friend. Her girlfriend, Olivia smiled. Natalia looked at her, meeting her eyes, and returned the smile. They didn't speak, but it was a companionable silence. Right now, they didn't need any words to understand each other. Olivia closed her eyes, floating in the water, losing herself in the surroundings and in the slight touch of Natalia's left arm on hers. She was feeling slightly dizzy. Blissfully happy. She wanted this feeling to last forever.

Olivia slowly opened her eyes again when she felt Natalia nudge her foot playfully with her toe. "I like that color," she said, pointing with her foot to Olivia's toes painted in a very dark red that was almost black. "Emma painted my finger nails with that same nail polish of yours the other day."

Olivia looked at her own hands, wearing only transparent nail polish. She had to smile at Natalia's words. They had the same nail polish on. She looked at Natalia's bare toes.

"Isn't it funny that we have the same nail polish on, you at your feet and I on my hands?" she heard Natalia ask.

Olivia suddenly grinned. "I was just thinking the same thing." Their eyes locked until she directed her look at Natalia's bare toes again, nudging them fondly with her own painted toes. "The color looks way better on you than it does on me though," she smiled awkwardly at her. "What… if I painted your toes after we're done here? I mean, after the massage?"

"Sure. I'd like that." Natalia's dimples showed once again.

Olivia got out of the water first, feeling sorry she had to leave the heavenly heat. Her skin was instantly covered with goose bumps, and she grabbed Natalia's towel, waiting for her to come out of the water. Water was dripping from the younger woman's wet form, and Olivia once again couldn't take her eyes off her. She wrapped Natalia in the large towel, her fingers stroking over the soft fabric on her shoulders when she lifted the dark braid over the towel. The braid revealed just a tiny bit of the soft skin of her neck, and Olivia longed to brush a feather light kiss onto that soft spot, knowing that she would never dare, but fervently hoping that one day she could. Her relationship with Natalia needed time to grow - and for them to grow into it. She knew that instinctually. She tried to be patient and sighed.

Natalia turned around and smiled at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Olivia mumbled, feeling suddenly self-conscious without a towel. She grabbed hers quickly. "Let's go have our massages."

Ten minutes later, they were both lying comfortably on their stomachs in the massage room. They had two young Latino masseurs, and she noticed the older of the two winking intensely at her. She had to suppress a grin when she caught Natalia shooting daggers at the man with her eyes. The man quickly averted his eyes, concentrating on his massage oil. It felt good to see Natalia being so protective of her, she thought, and looked at her friend, impulsively blowing her a kiss, which Natalia caught with a wink.

Olivia was glad that the man did his job well. She had thought herself relaxed after the jacuzzi, but he had shown her just how tense she was, relaxing those knots in her shoulders and back. His hands did a world of good to her stiff muscles. Soon enough, Olivia closed her eyes again, almost dozing off, experiencing the same feeling as she was earlier when floating in the water and losing herself in the hot bubbles. Only that this time, she missed the light touch of Natalia's soft skin against hers.

Finished with their massages, Olivia felt pleasantly relaxed but exhausted. "What if we take a shower and I'll come around to pick you up in about an hour?"

"Sounds like a plan," Natalia answered, stretching her muscles and stifling a yawn.

Olivia took a quick shower and then allowed herself to fall onto the soft bed covers. She set the alarm on her phone, and quickly fell into a light slumber.

When the alarm went off, Olivia awakened slowly. She was feeling less exhausted now, but still pleasantly relaxed. She grabbed the dark red nail polish and headed downstairs to Natalia's room.

Natalia was sitting cross-legged on the bed and staring out the window, leaning against the headboard, facing the TV. She was wearing yoga pants and a simple shirt, and her bare feet were peeping out of the too-long pants. Next to her on the bed there was a bowl of popcorn, and Natalia was watching some quiz show. "Hey," Olivia smiled at the coziness of that scene, and made herself comfortable facing Natalia, leaning against the other back of the bed. "Are you ready?"

"I am," Natalia confirmed, turning her attention from the television to Olivia and sticking one bare foot out to her.

Olivia gently took her foot, and carefully began applying the nail polish. They were now completely facing each other, every now and then grabbing some of the sweet popcorn. Natalia slightly wiggled her toes. "Hold still, or it won't come out well." Olivia tried to tighten her grip, but Natalia wiggled her foot free.

"I'm sorry," she giggled suddenly. "I'm so ticklish."

Oh, was she, Olivia thought with a devilish grin. This could be so fun! She tried to snatch the foot back, careful not to damage the polish. "I'll be more careful, I promise," Olivia said as persuasively as she could.

Natalia didn't seem entirely convinced, but she held still. After a while, Olivia felt her friend's tension slightly lessen until she was quite relaxed. "You have big feet," she teased.

"Yes. Always have," Natalia grinned. "And, since we saw Notting Hill a couple of weeks ago, of course I know what they say about men with big feet," she retorted, remembering one of their last Friday movie nights, huddled together under one blanked with Emma. She slightly blushed. "But do tell, what do they say about women with big feet?"

"Big feet – large… uhm...cups?" Olivia quipped.

"Impossible," Natalia said with a look at Olivia's cleavage. They were both grinning at each other now.

She liked this. They were still looking at each other, smiling, but this time, there was no hint of awkwardness between them. They were getting more comfortable, Olivia thought with a smile. The easygoing closeness they had had before was almost there again. I'm happy.

"I'm happy," Natalia said suddenly, catching Olivia's look again and giving her a suddenly shy smile. "This makes me happy." She wiggled her toes. "You make me happy."

"You make me happy, too," Olivia answered simply, her heart leaping, and her lips slowly forming a wide smile. They gazed at each other for what seemed an eternity, but it was probably only a minute. "Do you think we should get ready for dinner?" Natalia broke the spell.

Almost half an hour later, a nervous Olivia knocked on Natalia's door. The day had gone really well, except for their little fight over the rooms at the beginning.

"You're early!" The other woman squeaked from behind the door. There was the sound of something crashing and then Natalia opened the door, looking flustered and beautiful as she brushed the hair back from her eyes. "I didn't think you would even be on time let alone earl..." She smiled. "Emma says hi, she's fine and she wants to go on a field trip every weekend now."

Though Olivia had seen her every day for practically a year, Natalia's utter beauty still sometimes stunned her and it took a moment for her to collect herself. "Oh, well, we will have to talk about that," Olivia laughed. "You ready?" When Natalia nodded, she extended a hand to her and was relieved when the younger women took it so naturally as they headed to the restaurant. As she tightened the grip, Olivia felt her knees go weak from the simple contact. Unable to speak, she allowed Natalia to lead her to the restaurant. What are you doing to me, Natalia?

They ordered lobster and Sauvignon Blanc, and the conversation flowed easily, when Natalia suddenly sat forward on her chair, taking Olivia's hand gently into hers. "I have to tell you something."

"Natalia? Olivia's voice was practically a whisper and she took a larger sip of her wine. "What is it?"

"Please…just listen." The younger woman blushed. "I didn't know how to tell you earlier. I…I talked to Sister Anne yesterday. About us…you and me. She told me 'When God closes one door…He sometimes shuts it on your foot to get your attention.'" A small smile began to form on Olivia's face, and Natalia continued. "For me, God has always been about love, for my family, for my son, for my friends…for you, Olivia. It may not be the kind of love I have been expecting, but… it is the strongest love I have ever felt. And not just that… Have you ever... just had a thought that was so... strong... that it completely threw you? I thought I knew what love felt like, what desire felt like... what want felt like." She took a deep breath, blushing deeply. "And it doesn't compare to what's happening to me now. I love seeing you. Sometimes I get overwhelmed just from looking at you. I don't... I've never... had to deal with anything like this before. And I honestly don't know how to deal with it yet… I…I'm scared."

"What… what exactly are you scared about?" The insecurity in Olivia's voice was apparent, revealing that Natalia wasn't the only one struggling with these new and different feelings. Olivia hesitantly began to reach out to touch Natalia's hand, and the other woman noticed this and reciprocated. Olivia gladly welcomed the contact. Their hands seemed to fit perfectly together, gently caressing each other.

"I think what I'm most scared about now is… that we lose being normal around each other… that we will somehow destroy our friendship with this… and that I'm going to lose you." She looked at Olivia intently - her pain visible, but she pulled herself together and continued with a steady voice. "My whole life has just been turned upside down. I do need some time."

Olivia nodded. "I'm glad you said that. I'm just as scared as you are. I don't want to rush you, or push you." What astounded her was that she actually meant it. As much as she craved Natalia's touch and the sight of her, she liked their handholding, the hugs and the casual caresses. Their being in sync. Their being soul mates. Her eyes widened. Sex... She didn't even miss sex! Olivia blinked at this thought. Well, if she was honest with herself, she did miss sex. She missed it a lot. What she didn't miss was the casual affairs of her past. She had found herself wishing for true lovemaking and endless kissing. Lovemaking that was slow and sweet, that would fill her with emotion she could feel all the way down to her toes. And her wishes were very specific about who she wanted to share that with. The one person she loved.

She felt herself blushing deeply and continued after a little pause. "Natalia." She gulped and moved her hand back on top of the one that held hers. "I love you. This isn't just going to disappear, no matter how scared we are or how awkward this is. You were my dearest friend first, and you're still that. I want you in my life, in whatever form that takes. You've changed my life, and you've shown me what a real family could be, even before I fell in love with you. You've given me a rare gift with your love. I don't ever want to lose that."

That said, they both fell silent, heavy with emotion, still holding each others' hands. Olivia felt a wave of relief and happiness surging through her. She was literally beaming. Everything would fall into place. It was just a matter of time. Not that patience was exactly her forte, but Natalia was worth waiting for. She glanced lovingly at the woman sitting opposite her, who returned her silent smile. I am so happy right now. So very happy.

They finished their wine in companionable silence. When the waiter came, Olivia caught her friend's look. "Shall we?" She nodded. Olivia paid and took the other woman's hand to leave.

Arrived at Natalia's door, they were facing each other again. Olivia was nervous. Just as nervous as she had been at the beginning of their trip. Her heart was beating faster, and her hands slightly shook in Natalia's hands. Was Natalia inviting her to come in for late-night coffee? She felt Natalia's fingers gently tracing circles on her wrist, but she couldn't take her mind or her eyes off of Natalia's lips. She wanted to kiss her. Oh, how she wanted to kiss her, but she wasn't going to. Not after Natalia told her she needed time. But she couldn't help wanting to know how those lips would feel against her own. Her heart was racing now. She wanted to taste Natalia's lips. Gently take her face in her hands and savour her lips until they couldn't control themselves any longer. Pin Natalia against the wall in the heat of passion. Olivia looked away, hiding her flushed face, and instinctively took a step back to lessen the tension. They hadn't said a single word since dinner.

She caught Natalia's expectant look, but couldn't utter a single world. It was clear to her now that Natalia wasn't going to ask her to come in. Her face fell, and she let out a nervous breath that she hadn't been aware of holding. She still couldn't string two words together and just looked at Natalia, breathing audibly.

Natalia finally broke the silence, her big brown eyes filled with something Olivia couldn't quite determine. Disappointment? Longing?

"It's been a really beautiful day," Natalia smiled. "Good night." She paused, and slowly let go of Olivias fingers, one by one, before she smiled her shy smile again. She then caressed Olivia's cheek. "Sweet dreams."

"Good night," Olivia breathed, too dazed to return the smile. She stood and watched Natalia close the door, still feeling Natalia's warm touch on her cheek, and put her fingers to her lips. After taking a moment to gather herself, Olivia turned and went to her own room. What are you doing to me, Natalia? How am I supposed to sleep now?

Olivia pondered what to do. She wasn't tired. She was very sure she wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon, and she wasn't particularly keen on tossing and turning just yet. Maybe if she watched some TV she would be able to sleep. She flipped through the channels. Groundhog Day had just begun, but she opted for the 24-hour news channel.

She changed into her satin pajamas before she crawled under the soft bedcovers and her mind wandered back to her day with Natalia. It had been a good day. Natalia didn't seem scared at all, but obviously she needed time to adapt. She had made that abundantly clear. Am I the only one who's scared? Olivia sighed. Deep down she knew that her being scared was a good sign because that's why she knew Natalia was worth it. She would just have to give Natalia the time she needed. Olivia knew she was ready to take the next step. Very ready, eager even. Their day together hadmade that abundantly clear. Being so close to Natalia and only occasionally touching her was difficult for her. She wanted more. She needed more, and if it was only being constantly close to her.

Olivia realized that she hadn't been paying attention to the news at all for more than half an hour and turned off the TV. She wondered if Natalia was still awake and if she couldn't sleep either. And if I just called her? All of her good resolutions seemed to vanish.

Olivia was torn out of her reverie when she heard a hesitant knocking at the door. She quickly looked at the time on her cell phone and noticed she had two missed calls. Emma and Natalia. No wonder she has missed the calls, she realized, her phone was still on silent mode. The knocking grew louder. Natalia?

Olivia went quickly to the door, and there she was, standing in the doorframe and smiling shyly in her big white bathrobe, holding two glasses of latte.

"I tried to call you if you were still awake. I couldn't sleep. I missed you," the brunette said almost ramblingand held out one glass for her. "I brought some late-night latte."

"Thanks." Olivia took the glass and stepped aside for her to come in, suddenly wide awake. "This is a surprise." She noticed that under the bathrobe, Natalia was wearing a short white nightshirt with tiny blue sheep on it. Cute.

"I hope you don't get the wrong impression…," Natalia continued. "I meant what I said earlier…about not being ready." She flushed. "But I also wanted to be with you." Then she seemed to notice the big double bed in the room. "This…uh…is a nice room, too." She blushed an even deeper shade of red if that was possible.

"It is," Olivia grinned, amused at Natalia's obvious embarrassment. She knew exactly what Natalia was thinking. "Do you want to watch a movie or something? We can watch the rest of Groundhog Day. Whatever we've missed they'll show all over again." They laughed.

"I'm too awake to sleep but I guess I'm too tired to talk. Groundhog Day is fine." Natalia seemed to have recovered from her embarrassment and smiled conspiratorially at Olivia before she took off her bathrobe and settled down on the bed. Olivia sat on the other side, both sipping their latte.

Olivia turned the TV back on, adjusting the volume so that they would still be able to talk. The latte finished, they were comfortably sitting on the bed now, an armada of cushions around them.

"I have always wondered how much time has passed," Olivia finally mused, drawing her eyes from Natalia and looking at the fading credits on the screen. "I mean, years must have passed, and he's been seeing her every day for years and knows her so well and yet he can't have her."

"It's only one single day for her." Natalia pointed out. "He wasted his life before, and obviously he needed the years to make up for it. Mean is what describes his old self best. He wasn't a good man," Natalia smiled sleepily. "But he was patient enough to wait for her."

They were lying on the bed now, facing each other - both getting more and more tired. "Just like I am," Olivia whispered, slowly taking Natalia's hand and interlacing their fingers.

Natalia's big brown eyes were wide open when she tightened her grip, instinctively moving a little closer. "You won't have to wait years." She smiled and closed her eyes, snuggling a little more deeply into Olivia's arms. Her thumb was hesitantly tracing small circles on the smooth skin of her palm.

Olivia felt very comfortable. She wanted the moment to last forever, until Natalia's thumb stopped caressing her.

Neither of them were moving now. Olivia stilled, feeling sudden unexpected tension. A sudden, unexpected, sexual tension. She held her breath, and her head was swirling. The closeness made her dizzy with longing. She looked at Natalia, who seemed just as flushed as she was. She waited, anxiously for Natalia to move or to break the tension, desperately wanting to kiss the other woman. Her lips were so very close now. She hardly dared to breathe, and all her senses were heightened. She could feel her breath on her skin, smell the soft lily fragrance of her perfume. In that moment, Olivia knew that all she had ever wanted was only inches away. Just kiss her already! her mind screamed. Olivia had lost all track of time. She didn't move.

"You're a good person already," Natalia's whispered words broke the silent tension. "And you're mine."

Olivia let out the breath she was holding and turned so that she was lying on her back, facing the dark ceiling. The moment had passed. She let out another deep breath, still breathing raggedly. "Yes. Yes I am." And very turned on right now.

She stared at the dark ceiling, her eyes adjusting to the flickering shadows coming from the TV that was showing some movie in the background that neither of them had been paying any attention to. Olivia cursed herself for letting the moment pass, that perfect moment for the perfect first kiss. She realized that she was still holding Natalia's hand and turned back to the other woman.

Natalia's regular breathing told her that her friend had fallen asleep. Her disappointment was quickly replaced by a wave of tenderness that swept through her at the sight of sleeping Natalia. Maybe that moment had been perfect as it was after all.

Olivia couldn't take her eyes off the woman curled up beside her, dark tresses fanning her face. She wondered if she should let Natalia sleep in her bed. How would she react in the morning when she awoke? Should she wake her now? Olivia knew she would have trouble falling asleep with Natalia next to her. Or would Natalia expect her to sleep in the other room instead?

She weighed her options. She was unsure what to do. Finally she decided to let Natalia sleep in her bed but to get her own bedcovers from the other room. Olivia knew if she shared her bedcovers with Natalia, she would hardly get even a wink of sleep, lying so close next to her. Not after tonight. She climbed out of the bed, careful not to wake the other woman, turned off the TV and tip-toed through the door, down the hallway and rushed up the stairs. Natalia hadn't locked her room, so she quickly grabbed her bedcovers and returned to their room.

Natalia hadn't moved. She was still curled up on the bed, breathing peacefully. Olivia slowly sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully wrapped the covers around the sleeping woman. On impulse, she bent down and softly kissed Natalia's forehead, lightly stroking her soft hair, careful not to wake her. "Good night," she whispered.

Caressing one last time the other woman's head with her hand, reluctantly she stood up and went to other side of the bed. Slipping under the bedcovers, she was careful to lie at the very edge of the bed, not trusting herself to be able to find sleep so close to the woman she loved.

Facing the window and not Natalia, she lay awake for what seemed and eternity. She continued to stare into the dark room, dimly lit only by the faint moonlight casting pale shadows on the floor. She wondered if there would ever be a time when they would be sleeping in the same bed as partners, as lovers. She was afraid - she had to admit. She was still afraid to lose Natalia to her faith.

She felt Natalia stirring next to her. However, the steady breathing told her that she was still asleep. Olivia caught her breath when suddenly, she felt the light touch of Natalia's hand on her right shoulder, resting there for a moment before slowly, searchingly crawling down her satin-covered arm until it had reached its destination and softly squeezed Olivia's hand that she had moved behind her back between them.

She took Natalia's hand in her own, holding it tightly and savoring the reassuring touch, until as quickly as it had come, Natalia's hand left her own.

Olivia smiled. In that moment, she loved Natalia for giving her the reassurance she needed that they would be together. They were together. She closed her eyes, feeling content. Finally together.