Disclaimer: The following fan fiction is based on Tamora Pierce Tortall books. The original idea was taken and changed from a story in the Firebirds anthology. The characters in this story are mine though some of the setting is not. The setting is Tammy's. The country, town and village names etc... belong solely to me. I had no choice but to use my imagination. (Sigh). This story takes place two years after Aly was stuck in The Copper Isles. It's very separate from all the usual stories I write. Enjoy!

The Funny Princess
By: Marina L. July 2004

Varan was a country to the right of Maren and just a little bit bigger in size too. Its capital was Vasra. Other cities near the capital include Rane, Leakem, Aranof, and Baras. The rest are positioned much farther away from the center of Varan. The King and Queen where good to the land and their people. They did their best after the terrible war with Scanra ended, at least in their part of the world.

Princess Meredith of Varan sat at her window looking out towards the courtyard. She watched nobles her own age that of 17 years laughing and running. They where having fun outside while she was stuck indoors. Princess Meredith thought she was ugly by even her own standards. Why, why ... was she born not resembling either of her handsome parents. All her brothers and sisters where beautiful, while she had slanted drab brown eyes, green yellow hair that was always tangled and her body was thin as a rod. Not forgetting of course her slight height at of 4ft 5 inches when everyone else was 5ft something. And worse much more gruesome then this was that she had bad luck. Why oh why did the Gods gift her with this wretched form. So what if she could fight as well as a man. You could not very well escape weapons practice with Allar could you, no you could not. Her father King Matheum had made training for women as well as men a decree. Her mother Queen Saralla who could fight just as good as her husband whole heartedly agreed. Meredith being the princess just made things worse. She was okay with a sword, good with staff, lance, and knife. Furthermore, she could track, camp, ride, and hunt by herself. But no that was not all. She knew all the plants and herbs in Varan and could easily create a satisfying meal from just the Gods giving earth. She sighed morosely and turned away from the window.

Pacing near her bed she continued her despairing thoughts. "Meredith, you are a clots" she whispered to herself. It was her rotten luck that made her the laughing stock of every situation among others. She desperately wished she could be like any one of her siblings. Joshem was the oldest and training to rule the kingdom in dads place when the time comes. That will probably be in forty or more years Meredith thought and giggled quietly. Her second oldest brother Thamaes and third oldest sister Judara both where studying to be mages. She could hardly get in a word to either of them of her troubles. Anything other then mage knowledge went into one ear and came out the other, at least when it came to her discussing something with one or the other sibling. At that thought Meredith grinned, her mood lightening slightly. Her forth sister on the other hand just liked to look pretty. She was and is an amazing seamstress. All the attention of the young men center around her and her friends. "I mean why should it not, they are the most beautiful of the country," Meredith growled angrily. All her siblings where perfect in body and mind while she had people just laughing at her. "What is up with that?" she screamed in frustration. Then took slow deep breaths of clean slightly scented air and tried to relax.

They call her gallant as if she was a boy, humph the nerve of the lot, the princess grumbled silently. This of course had nothing to do with the fact she was the youngest daughter out of five children all together. She sighed wistfully letting out a long soft breath of air. Why couldn't she have what her parents had and still continue to have. Her father King Matheum and mother Queen Saralla love each other very much. From the first moment they saw each other there was a connection between them. She loved hearing this tale from her lovely mother. The kings and queens marriage was way out of the bonds of nobility but they where and still are truly happy. Her mother Saralla was not born of nobility but her spirit is nonetheless nobler then any other titled lady of court. Princess Meredith so wanted just that for herself a man to love her as she loved him, but it would never be and thus she despaired. And that is how she fell asleep that night, tossing and turning with dreams of her troubles, her ugliness.

The following day was bright and shiny. A cool breeze drifted through the air ruffling the leaves and branches of trees near the large estate of the king and queen of Varan. Meredith woke up early to practice with weapons master Allar. He was very tall and broad of chest. Much bigger then her beloved father. But Allar and King Matheum where even more different then that. Of course, they had some similarities but others rarely noticed these. Allar was 6ft 5 inches tall her dad but 2 inches shorter. As she visualized the two men side by side Meredith could not help a giggle that escaped from her closed lips. Sadly that cost her a loss to Allar who was scowling furiously at her and waving his fists in a threatening manner. Meredith groaned, "oh she had to be day dreaming at a time like this. She was so going to get it in the next bought." The princess groaned again as she saw her teacher walking towards her with swords. That's it, she was doomed. Allar was way better in using steel then she was yet. So far she was an okay student but far below her potential as Allar would yell at her in his frustration.

As Meredith was thinking and walking to face Allar she never noticed the small rock in front of her. Splat she went into the moisturized ground mixed with mud. Her mouth full of........Ahhhhhhhhhhh. "I think I am going to be sick," she said while spitting out the gunk in her mouth and at the same time using her hands to clean her face. Her practice clothes for this day where green with brown leave patterns, and they where ruined. As Meredith blinked her eyes and rubbed them so she could see Allar meet her now wide eyed gaze. All she could hear from him is "Tsk, tsk, tsk" but she did see all too clearly his disappointment in her. And then behind him she at last saw a group of man and woman her own age all laughing at her. Of course, what else did she expect.