My imaginative titles suck right now. :P This is far from the first Supernatural fic I written, but it is the first posted. Believe me, this fandom loves me as much as I love it. Go Show.

A thought occurred to me and I was amused until I realised it was actually a bunny with very sharp teeth. It made me re-watch Live Free or Twihard to get the dialogue and et cetera right. *sigh* Such a chore, to watch Jensen Ackles be angsty and fangy and unfortunately not evil-all-the-way and take out a nest with all by his vamped-up self. Unf. A burden, I'm telling ya.

Crack? This? All the dang way, baby. Moreover, I really, really just wanted to write the phrase "insert screaming and wall-pounding here". That was half the reason for this crunchy piece of Dean. I mean, story. Ahaha.

INT. MOTEL ROOM

[SAM and SAMUEL face DEAN who is standing in the kitchen]

SAMUEL
(demanding)
Did you feed?

DEAN
[staying in shadows, facing away from SAM and SAMUEL]
I went to say goodbye to Lisa.

Cut to LISA'S BEDROOM

[standing before the window, DEAN is watching her sleep]

LISA
(startles awake)
Dean.

DEAN
Hey.

LISA
(flicks lamp on; DEAN flinches)
Hey, I wasn't expecting you for a couple of days.

DEAN
Yeah, yeah. I wanted to see you.
[sits on the bed]

LISA
What's up? Are you okay?

DEAN
Listen-

LISA
What's going on?

DEAN
It doesn't matter. But I need you to know, you and Ben just, uh…thanks. Okay? For everything.

LISA
Dean, you're scaring me.
[moves closer to DEAN on the bed]

DEAN
[he stands and walks away from her]
Oh God, I'm Pattinson.

LISA
What?

DEAN
Nothing. I, I, I gotta go.

LISA
[follows him]
No, no you can't just show up here like this and then-

DEAN
Oh baby, I wish it was different.

LISA
(agitated)
Just stop and explain to me what is going on out there.

DEAN
Lisa, I can't- waitasec. Uh. Are you…is it that time of the month for you?

LISA
Um…yeah, I'm on my period. Dean, what is it?

DEAN
DAMMIT.

[OMNOMNOM.]

[insert screaming and wall-pounding here]

BEN
[runs into bedroom]
MOM! Dean?

DEAN
DAMMIT!
[grabs Ben]

BEN
Urk!

[OMNOMNOMAGE.]

Cut back to MOTEL ROOM

[SAMUEL and SAM are staring at DEAN]

DEAN
(uncomfortable)
Which, for the record, was a lousy idea.